- Beverly Goldberg: Murray, Erica just answered the phone and immediately hung up. There can be only one explanation.
- Murray Goldberg: She doesn't want to talk to you. Go back to sleep.
- Beverly Goldberg: She was eating a hard candy and choked and tried to call 9-1-1.
- Murray Goldberg: What kind of college has hard candy lying around?
- Beverly Goldberg: You don't know! There could be a hard candy dish on the lobby.
- Murray Goldberg: You were watching Donahue again, weren't you?
- Beverly Goldberg: He did a show on chocking hazzards. Did you know hard candies kill more people than smoking?
- Murray Goldberg: Stupid grey-haired bastard. All he does is make you worry.
- Barry Goldberg: Members of the JTP.
- Andy Cogan, 'Naked' Rob Smith, Matt Bradley: JTP!
- Barry Goldberg: You are about to witness the greastest musical event of your lives.
- Andy Cogan: Better than seeing all the greatest bands play Live Aid?
- Barry Goldberg: One thousand percent! I literally bet Adam's life on it.
- Adam Goldberg: Wait, what?
- Barry Goldberg: We're not going to lay down sweet rhymes, we're just going to speak from the heart.
- Murray Goldberg: That sounds even worse
- Beverly Goldberg: Here, try Bevy's hangover cure.
- Erica Goldberg: It smells like fish.
- Beverly Goldberg: That's the shrimp. It's the aspirin of the sea.