- Captain Ray Holt: Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place.
- Captain Ray Holt: And so concludes this year's Secret Santa drawing. Just a quick reminder of the rules: $40 limit, no perishable items, and no homemade massage coupons, Hitchcock.
- Hitchcock: Fine, then everyone'll have to pay full price for them.
- Jake Peralta: Oh, Captain. I would like a $40 gift card to any restaurant that serves nachos.
- Captain Ray Holt: I don't have you, Peralta.
- Jake Peralta: Not only do I know that you do indeed have me, but I also know who everyone else has.
- Terry Jeffords: That's not possible.
- Jake Peralta: Perhaps not for an ordinary man such as yourself, Jeffords. But for the brilliant mind of Detective Sherlock Peralta - I legally changed my name - it's quite simply... elementary. For, you see, Amy made a face I only recognized from our bedroom, which means that she has Captain Holt. Charles has Terry. His eyes keep shifting over to him.
- Charles Boyle: [shifts eyes to Terry] No, I don't.
- Jake Peralta: Terry looked disgusted, which means he has Hitchcock. Rosa didn't draw a name, nor did she put one in. She doesn't wanna participate.
- Rosa Diaz: Never do.
- Jake Peralta: Hitchcock moves his mouth when he reads and he quite clearly said Char-les.
- Hitchcock: I did get Char-les.
- Jake Peralta: Scully has Amy. He's hold his paper name-side out.
- Scully: Oh, he's good.
- Jake Peralta: And I have Scully, which means Captain Holt has me. I'll be taking that gift card. Daddy loves nachos.
- Gina Linetti: Hey, little man. Why so teeny?
- Devin Cathertaur: I'm not teeny. I'm average size.
- Gina Linetti: [laughs] What a sad brag.
- Julia Diaz: [Rosa and her parents are playing a sketching game. Rosa draws two brides holding hands, with a big heart over them, as a way to make them understand she's bisexual. Her mother doesn't get it] Uhh, a woman. Uhh, uh, lady. Uhh, women. Two women. Holding hands, uh, friends. Ohh, mm, uhh sisters! Ooh! Business partners. Uh, um, ooh, oh, oh, co-owners of a chocolate shop! Oh, love. Love... What do women love? The George Clooney!