- Joe: See, that's who needs her own show. That's who they want. See, they want women and minorities. They don't want white guys like me tellin' 'em what to do. If I was a black woman, I'd be perfect.
- Renee: You like the Romans who nailed up our Lord and Savior. You a murderous cretin, and I'm God-like.
- Joe: [as Loqueesha] There's clearly no gender in the divine nature. It just gets divided up into two for reproductive purposes because we get tired of the same old thing.
- Joe: [to Renee] You do a good job with the personal appearances, but the therapy, that's just not your thing.
- Joe: [as Loqueesha] Did you see the Jennifer Hudson trial? Where her brother-in-law killed her entire family? Well, I got some men out there, if they knew where I was, would do some nasty ass shit to me, and maybe to you fellas too.
- Joe: [as Loqueesha] You white people are so afraid to say what's on your mind. What you so afraid of? You the one runnin' thangs! I mean, you slaves to what other people think. After all these years, white people are the slaves! How you like that?