Roseanne (TV Series)

Eggs Over, Not Easy (2018)

Sara Gilbert: Darlene Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Becky Conner-Healy : Why don't you pet him?

  D.J. Conner : I can't, I'm allergic.

  Darlene Conner : No you're not. Mom just said that so she didn't have to get you a dog.

  D.J. Conner : I could've had a dog?

  Darlene Conner : Yeah. You could've had seafood too, except it's expensive.

  D.J. Conner : Damn it! I love dogs!

• Darlene Conner : Why are you getting a dog?

  Becky Conner-Healy : Because Andrea's going to pay me for having her baby. I'm going to be her surrogate. As soon as the baby's born she's going to pay me $50,000, then I'll be able to buy my dream home with a big yard, and since I'm gonna have a yard, I need a dog to go with it.

  Darlene Conner : So you decided to do the last thing first. You've inspired me, Becky. I'm going to go jump in a swimming pool, then fill it with water.

• Darlene Conner : Becky's at work and, according to her text, wasted as 'duck'.

• Becky Conner-Healy : This wasn't supposed to be my life, serving white people 'fa-gee-tas'.

  Darlene Conner : Well, take some advice from a 40-year-old woman with 2 kids who's still living at home with her parents, who was just told today she's not Build-A-Bear material.