Santa Jaws (2018)

Jim Klock: Peter

Quotes 

• Caroline : Are you Clark?

  Clark : Who wants to know?

  Peter : We're Cody's parents.

  Clark : Okay.

  Caroline : Well, there's a shark attacking Port City. Where's Cody?

  Clark : That is classified information.

  Caroline : [points rifle at Clark]  How about now?

  Clark : Access granted.

• Peter : Now, this thing is powerful, but it is not invincible. You boys said you hurt it with exploding ornaments?

  Cody : That's right.

  Josh : Yeah.

  Peter : Well, if it can be hurt... it can be killed. I'm thinking we build something like this. And this could cost a massive amount of potential energy.

  Josh : Like pitching a baseball.

  Peter : Exactly.

  Josh : Let's give this shark something real to chew on.

  Cody : Like a Christmas turkey... rigged to explode?

  Caroline : Don't even think about touching those turkeys. It's the only thing we have left of Christmas.

  Cody : Mom, we don't have a choice.

• Caroline : I'm so sorry I didn't believe you. That thing is a monster.

  Cody : No. I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I wished that thing into existence. I don't know, I was just angry.

  Peter : What are you talking about, son?

  Cody : I drew her and she came to life and now she's hunting everyone in our family down.

  Peter : No, this is not your fault. All right. Hey, this is classic global-warming. Non-indigenous species species roaming into unfamiliar territories. It happens all...

  Cody : You are not listening to me! That is not a shark, that is Santa Jaws! It's Santa Jaws.

  Josh : Just listen to him.

  Caroline : What we need to do is to get inland and contact the authorities.

  Cody : [shows the comic of Santa Jaws]  What does this look like to you? Look a little familiar? I know her! I made her! That is her! And you could either help me, or I can do this myself!

• Caroline : [after seeing Cody's caricature of the principle on the mobile phone]  Cody!

  Cody : [while trying to walk out of the room unnoticed, stops and turns around slowly] 

  Caroline : I just got a call from principle Matusie, he said you drew an offensive cartoon that's all over social media.

  Cody : I have no idea what he's talking about.

  Caroline : Really? Oh! Looks like your work to me.

  [Showing Cody the picture received from the principal seconds earlier] 

  Cody : [Barely keeps from laughing]  The institution of uniforms at a public school is unjust. Ok, clothes are an expression of our individuality...

  Peter : Cody.

  Cody : ...and, if we start to suppress free speech now, we're headed towards totalitarianism!

  Caroline : Take it down, now.

  Papa Joe : Oh great. Merry Christmas.