Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV Series)

The Bimbo (2019)

Andre Braugher: Raymond Holt

Photos 

Quotes 

• Captain Ray Holt : So nice of you to stop by, Kevin. Enjoy your day. I hope it's productive.

  Kevin Cozner : Thank you, Raymond. I hope your day is productive as well.

  [Holt and Kevin shake hands] 

  Kevin Cozner : PDA in the office? My, my.

  Captain Ray Holt : Couldn't help myself.

  Kevin Cozner : Oh, may I please use the precinct facilities before I head to work?

  Captain Ray Holt : Yes. Thank you for asking for permission.

  Kevin Cozner : Thank you for granting it.

• Kevin Cozner : Sure, my husband is a hot piece of ass, but he is so much more than just that. Raymond Holt is as smart as anyone in this department, but he chooses to use his intelligence to make our city a better place. One day, I hope to live up to the standard you set. You make me want to have a wetter brain.

  Captain Ray Holt : Oh, Kevin.

  Jake Peralta : Y'all are hella specific.

• Jake Peralta : [Arriving late for a meeting at work]  I'm here! I'm here, I'm here. You can start the meeting now.

  Captain Ray Holt : The meeting is over. You're late. You missed roll call and the tutorial on using the new copiers. Six years, and no matter how hard I try, I still can't get you to understand the importance of being punctual.

  Jake Peralta : Maybe you should just give up and accept me for who I am?

  Captain Ray Holt : No, I will break you. Right now.

  Jake Peralta : Oh.

  Captain Ray Holt : While you were out being tardy, I was hard at work devising a special punishment. I've crafted an intricate personal high five with everyone in this office except you.

  Jake Peralta : What? But you hate high fives.

  Captain Ray Holt : Yes, every minute of it was hell. But it'll be worse for you. Squad, dismissed.

  [Proceeds to give everyone an individual high five] 

  Captain Ray Holt : Good-bye, Diaz.

  Jake Peralta : Salute into a fanny waggle?

  Captain Ray Holt : Good-bye, Boyle.

  Jake Peralta : Oh, the snake charmer!

  Captain Ray Holt : Good-bye, Jeffords.

  Jake Peralta : That's a butt bump.

  Captain Ray Holt : Good-bye, Santiago.

  Jake Peralta : Double fist bump reverse explosion into a Pete Townshend strum.

  [sighs] 

  Jake Peralta : All right, that was terrible, but it's over now, and I made it through.

  Captain Ray Holt : Good-bye, Leonard from Xerox.

  Jake Peralta : What? No, no, no. The copy guy?

• Kevin Cozner : [He hears a door open]  Oh, no, that's Raymond. That's how he opens a door.

  Captain Ray Holt : Kevin, are you still in here?

  Kevin Cozner : Uh, yes, Raymond, I'm in the stall.

  Captain Ray Holt : Some tickets were just released for Mahler's Fourth Symphony this weekend.

  Kevin Cozner : Great. That sounds great. Let's do it.

  Captain Ray Holt : Fantastic. Now, which section do you prefer? The first tier, the second tier, the third tier...

  Kevin Cozner : The first tier.

  Captain Ray Holt : Now, which section of the first tier? Right, left, right center, center...

  Kevin Cozner : Just any section is fine.

  Captain Ray Holt : [laughs]  Any section, wow. Someone had pepper on their eggs this morning. I'll buy the tickets.

  [chuckles] 

  Captain Ray Holt : Any section.

• Captain Ray Holt : I have decided to stop fighting it and lean in to the fact that I'm an idiot. Look at me, playing a video game.

  Jake Peralta : Oh, which one?

  Captain Ray Holt : "Times" crossword app.

  Jake Peralta : Not a video game.

  Captain Ray Holt : It plays a little song when you solve it, as if you've just learned to potty.

  [piano music on phone] 

  Captain Ray Holt : Yes, yes, play me my dunce's tune.

• Jake Peralta : Sir, you cracked it! You and your big hard brain.

  Captain Ray Holt : Hard?

  Jake Peralta : Yes! You have the biggest, hardest brain on Earth, and I want you to say it. Say "I am Raymond Holt, and my brain is rock hard."

  Captain Ray Holt : A brain shouldn't be hard. If anything, I'll say, "I am Raymond Holt, and my brain is soft and wet."

  Jake Peralta : No, don't say that. It's gross and I hate it. All right, let's go do some cop stuff.

• Captain Ray Holt : You've been caught, Allister!

  Jake Peralta : Is it happening?

  Captain Ray Holt : Caught by me.

  Jake Peralta : It is happening.

  Captain Ray Holt : Me and my rock hard brain.

  Jake Peralta : It happened!