- Hope Mikaelson: It should be said that Shakespeare wasn't completely clueless. He had plenty of advice about how to handle betrayal. My personal favorite: "Think, therefore, on revenge and cease to weep."
- Lizzie Saltzman: [as they come down the stairs] Let's hit the dining hall and carb load. It's... *game day!*
- Josie Saltzman: I'm not hungry.
- [gets a look]
- Josie Saltzman: What?
- Lizzie Saltzman: Well, uh, funny thing, actually, *Josette.* This morning, as I was desperately trying to make this trash bag of a jersey look cute, I suddenly had the urge to purge. So I fled to the bowl, and lo and behold, I heaved up a gallon of black goo. So, seeing as I haven't been dabbling in *illicit* black magic recently, I can only imagine it was a twin sympathy hurl. And here you are, denying the day's most important meal. So... fess up, what did you do?
- Penelope Park: [been overhearing] Maybe you're pregnant, Lizzie. Oh, or maybe it's just how that jersey fits.
- Josie Saltzman: Go away, evil one.
- Penelope Park: Already gone. Hot tip: Next time you burn your ex's hair off, make sure she can't rock a lob.
- [smiles as she shows off her shorter hairstyle, then goes off]
- Lizzie Saltzman: [showing good sportsmanship] Good luck out there.
- Dana: Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
- Lizzie Saltzman: I'm pretty sure I've seen that on a poster at the dentist's.
- Dana: Oh, my Dad's a dentist, but he still made time to be here. I guess I'm lucky that way, huh?
- [mocks by waving]
- Landon Kirby: I didn't bring it here. I...
- Hope Mikaelson: If he says "I swear" one more time, I'm gonna melt him!
- Lizzie Saltzman: [cautioning Josie, re Dana] One word. One word, and I could burn her perky little boobs to ash!
- Hope Mikaelson: [as dragon swoops in] You should take cover!
- Alaric Saltzman: No!
- Hope Mikaelson: Then tell me how I'm gonna explain to your daughters that all that's left of you is hot ash.
- Alaric Saltzman: The Dad card? That's a low blow.
- [looks up at dragon]
- Alaric Saltzman: Okay.
- [dashes off]
- Dana: [to Lizzie, re Josie] Your sister sucks at football. You should have absorbed her in the womb.
- Lizzie Saltzman: Okay, guys, last play of the game. It's Hail Mary time. Everyone but Josie, go long!
- Josie Saltzman: Wait! What do I do?
- Lizzie Saltzman: It doesn't matter, 'cause there's no way I'm gonna throw you the ball.
- Milton 'MG' Greasley: Lizzie, look my way, I'll catch it.
- Lizzie Saltzman: [snidely] Probably caught something from Penelope Park too.
- Alaric Saltzman: [re dark magic] This is hatred. This is vengeance. This is your father. It isn't you. I won't allow it!