William Conrad: Narrator, Dudley Do-Right Narrator

Quotes 

• Narrator : In the meantime, Boris and Natasha had been given one last chance to get the fabulous bowler back.

  Fearless Leader : You see this box, Badenov?

  Boris Badenov : Yes, Fearless Leader.

  Fearless Leader : At noon I send it to Pottsylvania with Kirward Derby inside.

  Boris Badenov : Suppose I don't get derby?

  Fearless Leader : I send it back with *you* inside!

  Boris Badenov : But I wouldn't be able to breathe in there.

  Fearless Leader : Believe me, that would be the least of your problems.

  Boris Badenov : You mean...?

  Fearless Leader : Jawohl! You won't *be* breathing.

  Boris Badenov : Hoo boy...

• [from the "Dudley Do-Right" segment, "Niagara Falls"] 

  [first lines] 

  Dudley Do-Right Narrator : Niagara Falls... and sometimes it doesn't. One of the times it didn't was back in the year nineteen-hundred and one. There it was, pouring itself all over the place, and then suddenly, without warning...

  [Niagara Falls dries up] 

  Dudley Do-Right Narrator : Honeymoon couples from all over the world stood transfixed. Who was responsible for this black deed? Who turned the tap on this great natural wonder?

• [from the "Dudley Do-Right" segment, "Niagara Falls"] 

  [Snidely Whiplash has traveled to Alaska with Dudley Do-Right in tow, hoping to find a stretch of railroad track on which to leave Dudley, ahead of an oncoming train] 

  Snidely Whiplash : Well, Do-Right, according to my calculations, the 12:02 from Quebec will be pulling into Nome any second. Come, we must find a deserted stretch of track.

  Dudley Do-Right : How about this, Snidely? This looks good.

  Snidely Whiplash : You make the choice. After all, you're going to be tied to it.

  Dudley Do-Right : Oh, this will do fine, then.

  [Snidely drops Dudley onto the tracks] 

  Snidely Whiplash : You know something? I could like you, if it weren't for your sense of justice and fair play. Why don't you rotten up like me?

  Dudley Do-Right : Oh, I could *never* do that.

  [a train whistle blows in the distance] 

  Dudley Do-Right : Hark! Better stand back or I'll miss my train.

  Dudley Do-Right Narrator : This was it, then. This was our valiant hero's swan song. His future would all be past. Nevermore would his innate goodness roam the Canadian wilds. Nevermore.

  Snidely Whiplash : Egad, methinks I feel a twinge of pity.

  Dudley Do-Right : Goodbye, Mr. Whiplash.

  Snidely Whiplash : Some foreign feeling beats within me hardened breast. Do I feel the pangs of guilt?

  Dudley Do-Right : Tell Mumsy how I went.

  Snidely Whiplash : I can't do it! I can't, I can't, I can't...

  Dudley Do-Right Narrator : And with that, Whiplash pulled the switch and the speeding train swerved onto another track.

  Dudley Do-Right : You couldn't kill me, could you?

  Snidely Whiplash : No. I suppose I'm just an old softy.

  Dudley Do-Right : Thank you, Mr. Whiplash.

  Snidely Whiplash : Say no more! Just go! I want to be left alone, to think, ponder, reflect...