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The Ninth Gate (1999)
Simplistic plot and slooooow pacing
You're going to see some comments about the "exquisite artistry" of this film. That's all well and good, and in fact there are some decent visuals. But there's much more that was very poorly conceived and executed.
First, the visuals, since that seems to be the most important thing in movies now. There are some nice sets and scenery in Ninth Gate. The castle at the end was quite a nice set, for instance. That's not enough, however. The special effects are atrocious all the way through, from the poorly rendered, choppy CGI opening credits, to the obvious computer trickery for the "twin" booksellers, to the horrible, horrible job with the duchess' hand, culminating in some pretty lame fire they CGI'd so they wouldn't have to burn their pretty castle. Really, if you can't do your special effects better than this, then do without!
It's getting hard to believe anyone in Hollywood cares anymore, but the story is rifled with holes and flaws as well. Maybe if enough VIEWERS cared, Hollywood would start caring again as well! I know, I'm too optimistic.
Anyway, if you know nothing about solving puzzles, this movie won't help you learn. You may in fact find the premise somewhat interesting, though hard to follow. On the other hand, if you DO know a bit about puzzles, you'll be yawning your way through most of this film, as the stars slowly, slowly, sloooowly piece together the rather simple challenge. In fact, when they give the first clue (the first comparison of the engravings), I thought to myself "this might get interesting!" An hour and a half later, as the movie was drawing to a close, and they put together the same facts that any puzzle solver saw much earlier, I realized that that was the extent of the puzzle, and all my patience had been for nothing. Then, just to be ornery, they cheat near the end and make sure there was no way to solve the puzzle unless the powers-that-be decided you should have the answer, at which point they just come out and tell you. This isn't a spoiler; if you know anything about puzzles, you'll agree easily with the above, otherwise you probably tuned out on this paragraph, and more power to you.
And no, there's no deep meaning in that ending. Yes, there is a meaning, and I found it quite clear, thank you, just not deep. Sorry. Johnny Depp rules, but as I learned a long time ago, good actors can't save bad movies, and this was no exception.
The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe (1979)
Great music, faithful to the book
If you appreciate the Narnia books, you should find a way to see this movie. Though very stylized, it is a solid adaptation of the classic story.
In fact, this movie is only genuinely unfaithful to the book in one (inexplicable!) place: the "Father Christmas" scene is mostly omitted. Maybe they didn't have a clear idea of the look they should go for with him, who knows? At least they cover it well, later in the movie.
Special note must be given to the sound in this film: the voice work (at least in the English version!) is quite good, with the exception of Lucy's crying, which is really, really terrible. And definitely pay attention to the musical score--it is one of the best I've ever heard in an animated film.
If you can find it, give it a watch you won't be disappointed.
Léon (1994)
Highly original. Very brilliant.
Leon is one of the best, most original films you'll ever get the chance to see. It is gritty, yet fast. It is action-packed, yet startlingly artistic. If you haven't seen it, you owe it to yourself to go rent it immediately.
The cast is superb. This was Natalie Portman's first movie, but you'll never guess it from her performance; she is stellar. There's no description that will do her acting debut justice; you just have to see it. Jean Reno oozes controlled danger (as he's done in so many films), but also a brilliant naivete that makes every scene enjoyable. And Gary Oldman is one of the most disturbing bad guys you'll ever see; you start off wondering what's so scary about him, and then you see him in action and you're glad you're on the safe side of the screen.
If you're wondering about the "Leon" vs. "The Professional" thing, here's the scoop as nearly as I understand it: test screenings of the original film "Leon" were shown in the U.S., and our typically puritanical reviewers decided it contained "inappropriate content" that would put off American viewers. So, Luc Besson and Co. had to cut out about 20 minutes of footage to satisfy our hypocritcal "powers-that-be." The edited film was retitled "The Professional" and released stateside, while the uncut film was left "Leon" and released in the rest of the world.
As a result, all you will easily find for rental/sale in the U.S. is The Professional. Now, that's the version I saw first, and believe me, the editing job was pure artistry. You will never miss the 20 minutes of footage if you haven't seen the full version; it's that well cut. Go see it now, if that's all that's available to you (and it probably is). BUT, if you can find a way to see "Leon" instead (or even afterwards), definitely do it. For those of you who might be worried what you'd be exposed to: there is NO nudity in either version of the film. There is no sexual conduct or even IMPLIED sexual conduct between Leon and Mathilda. Two kinds of things were cut out of the movie: 1. the idea that a 12-year old girl might THINK about sex, and 2. the idea that a 12-year old girl could learn about being a hitman. That's it. If the character had been 15 they would never have made them cut the movie, but hey, that's American reviewers.
See it right now. That is all.
The Thin Red Line (1998)
Offensively awful in nearly every aspect
Of all the films I have ever seen, good or awful, this is the first I have ever walked out on (over two hours into the movie; don't think I didn't see enough). There was no facet of this movie that was not offensively bad. From the hideously slow pacing, to the ineffective cinematography and cheap effects, through the poorly written characters (don't try to tell them apart, because it shows through that even the writers couldn't), and especially the sophomoric political statement it tries to push on the audience--this was the worst movie I've ever suffered through.
Expect to be flooded with Raising Arizona-like narration; flowery yet shallow, and delivered in a hick accent. Be prepared to see about 1.5 hours of mostly unrelated footage. Don't expect to remember any of the characters' names--they're not memorable enough to find a home in your head.
And, to me, worst of all, be ready to sit through a movie whose core message is that war makes you evil; that war made our soldiers evil. The theme is repeated over and over (in hick voices), with unending "feely" scenes of watching soldiers looking at the destruction they've caused and wishing there were some flowers to pick instead. I am not right-wing or militaristic in any way, but I respect my country and the veterans who have defended it enough to abhor this film.
If you feel an urge to see a war film, let me guide you happily to Saving Private Ryan (but go in with a settled stomach if you're easily disturbed!). But whatever you do, avoid "The Thin Red Line."