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Reviews
Attack of the Gryphon (2007)
Dig that Gryphon-y Goodness
Well, having just watched it, since I had to work last night and set the DVR to record it, I have to say I'm all with the Gryphon-y goodness!. This was a fine and noble variation upon the themes of my favorite film genre i.e, the 1980's sword/sorcery fantasy adventure film. You don't need all manner of digital jiggery-pokery to tell an old-fashioned tale of knights, princesses, winged beasties, and villainous power-mad sorcerors who have agendas all their own. A more elegant tale for a more civilised age, perhaps, "Gryphon" has all the hallmarks of good wholesome family entertainment; the kind of fairytale that has been passed down through the generations of numerous cultures since man climbed down from the trees, ventured out of the caves, and crawled out of the sea for the first time. Amber really had a marvelous time playing the role of a princess who was also a well-seasoned warrior as well. Amelia was the sort of character whom young females could look up to and aspire to be like as a role model as she possesses any number of positive character traits. Loyalty, bravery, independence, nobility, passion, devotion, the ability to use her feminine wiles. Amber was in a rich and splendorous environment and got to ride a horse, fight duels with swords, wear a suit of armor, and engage in other classic elements of the Norse and Celtic legends. The tent scene deserves to have a moment of reverent silence paid to it so betides that scene. The legends always involve a prophecy which tells of a child of royal blood who will unite the kingdoms and rule them in peace and harmony. This child is the trump card that the sorceror cannot beat as his chosen queen has already given herself to one she loves. Amber stood proud and fiery gold she glories with her smudges of dirt and her sexy milky white shoulders on display. I'm going to start working on the script for "Gryphon II:The Tears of the Basilisk"
Strictly Ballroom (1992)
Best Baz by far
Before Baz Luhrmann made a mockery of "Romeo and Juliet" and assaulted the collective senses with that hyperkinetic load of fetid dingo's kidneys known as "Moulin Rouge", he created a timeless tale of romance, passion, and showcased the equally expressive and seductive power of dance in "Strictly Ballroom." Every single frame of this film is quintessentially Australian from the warped and macabre sense of humour to the thick accents all of the characters use. Showing that you don't need the acid-trip stylistic smoke and mirrors of an MTV video to make a statement, Luhrmann relies here solely on the chemistry that exists between his two lead characters, Paul Mercurio and Tara Morice. The silhouetted tango scene between the two of them while Doris Day serenades them with "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps" is the most elegant dance sequence since Fred Astaire proclaimed to Ginger Rogers that he was "Never Gonna Dance" again in "Swingtime." "Strictly Ballroom" is a triumph of substance over style for a change and should be rewarded for it; not shunted aside like the ugly stepsister to "Moulin Rouge's" dog and pony show.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)
Harry Potter:Champion of the Oppressed
Naysayers and those without magic or childish wonder in their souls aren't going to like my thoughts on the "Harry Potter" phenomenon. The movie is a brilliant melange of eye-popping wondrous visual effects and the finest British theatrical talent that money can buy. Those who demean and continually whinge on about the film are, IMHO, just jealous over the unparalleled success that Ms. Rowling's creations have enjoyed, the likes of which we haven't seen since a small American film named "Star Wars" opened in 1977, and quickly became the stuff of cultural legend. Ms. Rowling's characters and settings spring from the same mixture of folklore, mythology, and clear-cut good vs. evil story-telling as her fellow British writers of generations past, namely J.R.R.Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, and Roald Dahl. They have all managed to slip important lessons about morality, the nature of existence, and why concepts of honor, loyalty, and friendship are vital to the well-being of humanity, all without being heavy-handed or overly treacly in their fervor and desire to instill these values in our children. A finer assemblage of British talent could not be assembled on a single motion picture sound stage: Richard Harris, Maggie Smith, Alan Rickman, Robbie Coltrane, John Hurt, John Cleese, Julie Walters, Zoe Wanamaker. The three young people essaying the lead roles acquitted themselves marvelously and have bright shining futures ahead of them , in whatever industry they choose. If they're smart, they won't take any notice of the mean and spiteful comments made about them by grown-ups who have clearly forgotten the simple joys of childhood. They should contact Jake Lloyd about how mean and cruel grown-ups can be, in terms of performances in a franchise that hard-core fantasy/science-fiction enthusiasts have adopted as a religion. Read the books, enjoy the fabulous and enchanting movie, recapture the excitement and thrill of being transported to a magical and carefree place where the villains can all be identified by their black hats and are easily vanquished by conjuring tricks and the power of witchcraft. If your heart is already black with the diseases of cynicism, jaded indifference, and the mistaken belief that flash cars and cell phones make you special, leave the rest of us to enjoy the dream and curl up in your own.
A Knight's Tale (2001)
As the tagline says, "He Is The Champion!"
Viewers expecting historical drama and accuracy along the lines of "Braveheart" or "The Patriot" should be forewarned that "A Knight's Tale" is rife with anachronisms from the opening scene. Anyone who grew up in the 70's listening to the film's soundtrack, however, can't help but smile as the selctions aren't the jarring discordant notes one might think they'd be upon hearing of their inclusion in a medieval adventure film such as this. Far from it, in fact. Writer/Director/Producer Brian Helgeland, co-scriptwriter of "L.A. Confidential', has chosen 70's rock classics that seemlessly help to describe the action taking place in each of the scenes they're used in. Queen's "We Will Rock You" sets the tone and mood of the film from the opening scene, the players aren't camping it up, but distinctly take a more lighthearted attitide to the setting in trying to make it accessible to a contemporary audience. Perhaps my favorite melding of visual/audio description is the perennial favorite "The Boys Are Back" by Thin Lizzy during our hero's return to London. Hats off to Mr. Helgeland and the entire cast and crew of "A Knight's Tale" for a rousing and wonderful medieval story before the mostrous behemoths of Summer work their own magic on us all.
Disturbing Behavior (1998)
Katie Holmes, you sexy thing!
Aside from being the latest in a series of softcore porn/dead teenager films, "Disturbing Behavior" continues a trend that needs to be encouraged.
This trend is for nubile young starlets, who have pretty faces and bodies to drive men wild, to continue to prance around the screen scantily clad and to engage in steamy sex scenes.
The best scene in the "Disturbing Behavior" video, thank God it didn't get cut, was of our delectable Katie sitting on the bleachers with the hardest, firmest, most erect pair of nipples this side of a Russ Meyer film poking through that flimsy tank top she was wearing.
Her getting raped by Chug was an arousing scene as well.
It's too bad that the volcanic sex scene with her and Steve, alluded to in the paperback, is only available on the DVD version.
It makes me want to run out and buy one of those players so I can play that scene in slow motion like Katie was meant to be seen in.
Katie Holmes can disturb my behavior any day and she frequently does .
Soldier (1998)
It ain't "Blade Runner" but it ain't half bad
Since the same esteemed gentleman who wrote the screenplay for the legendary "Blade Runner" also wrote "Soldier", it has an impressive man at the helm. It functions well as another variation upon the time-honoured science-fiction theme of the human bred for combat from the womb and when they take that away from that individual, how do they survive with no discipline and no hierarchy to give orders. Kurt Russell gives an admirable performance as Todd and you throw in the late Jon Pertwee's son Sean as the man who takes him into the encampment where Todd soon finds a new reason for living. Connie Nielsen is radiantly beautiful and a strong female presence as the heroine/widow/concerned mother.
The pervasive stench of mediocrity which surrounds all of this feel-good, emotional rollercoaster, uplifting drivel that we are spoon fed makes it all the more worthwhile when a film like "Soldier" takes you on a futuristic adventure of even a marginal sort.
Connie Nielsen is radiantly beautiful and also a strong female heroine/concerned mother. True, the film breaks no new ground and one can almost see the join marks from where it was cobbled together from a number of classic science fiction themes of when man's future foray into space colonization. It is refreshing for a long-time science fiction fan such as myself, however, to see a film that tries to be bold and expansive in this era of mediocrity and feel-good romantic emotional rollercoaster drivel that people lap up.