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Reviews
Boxing Helena (1993)
Oh, my GOD
Right ... so this movie shows up on cable (on IFC, no less -- supposedly this final bastion of great, undiscovered films) and I decide to watch it -- remembering something vague about Madonna and Kim Basinger both saying "no" to the title role. And what do I get? Soft-core porn and sordid fantasies not even the Marquis de Sade could have envisioned. Not only that, but one of the most cliched and lame endings in all of movie history.
If you want my recommendation for films that cover similar subject matters in a much better way, try "Misery," "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover," or even "Basic Instinct." There we have films about being at the captive mercy of a misguided suitor, abusive relationships that end horribly wrong, and the all-important Sex As Power. (Those of you who sat all the way through "Boxing Helena" may also wish to see "Existenz," another independent film that handles dream sequences much more artfully.) Which reminds me, can anyone tell me how watching a man having intercourse with a prostitute will suddenly make him desirable, even if you have been throwing glassware at him for the past 90 minutes?
I suppose this unpleasant little picture might play well for people who have never seen movies, been in a hospital, had sex, or used a telephone before. But for those of us who were not raised by pigeons in an underground cave, beware.
Great Performances: My Favorite Broadway: The Leading Ladies (1999)
Concerts like this don't happen every day!
Do you like showtunes? Better yet, do you like women singing showtunes? Or, even better yet, do you like DIVAS singing showtunes? This televised concert manages to string together a fantastic cast of fantastic women singing fantastic songs. While the "Lloyd Webber Love Trio" is trite and could have been left out, there is a plethora of excellent material here, much of it under-performed. Highlights include Karen Ziemba's "I Wanna Be a Rockette," complete with the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes right behind her, Audra McDonald's hilarious turn with "Down With Love," and Liza Minnelli singing the [expletive deleted] out of "Some People."
I can see that some of you are still shaking your heads -- but this show has not one, not two, but three "must-see" performances that absolutely stopped the show cold. The first is Linda Eder ("Jekyll and Hyde") brilliantly singing "Man of La Mancha." The second appears shortly thereafter -- Jennifer Holliday's heartbreaking ballad "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going." But the third, the concert's last solo, is Elaine Stritch singing Stephen Sondheim's witty (and bitchy!) diatribe against "The Ladies Who Lunch." This great actress, singing this great song, is alone worth the purchase price of this concert.
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
Haunting, brilliant requiem by one of the masters
I'm still in shock after seeing "Eyes Wide Shut," a haunting masterpiece of a film written, directed, and produced by one of film's great artists, Stanley Kubrick. Kubrick died just five days after showing his film, suggested by Arthur Schnitzler's novel "Traumnovelle," to Warner Bros. Thankfully, the studio has left most of Kubrick's vision intact, reportedly interfering with but a single scene. "Eyes Wide Shut" is sexy, emotional, thrilling, and sickening - and brilliant. During the filming, which took over a year, the cast and crew were sworn to secrecy. Speculation and rumors ran wild about the husband-and-wife team of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman: would there be a steamy sex scene? Or, even more intriguing: would we see Tom naked? All anyone really knew was that this was a sexy thriller, a la "Basic Instinct." An early rumor I heard was that Kubrick decided to shoot a porno movie using well-known actors and a good script. Well, forget anything you may have heard before - you're in for a shock.
Put simply, "Eyes Wide Shut" is not really about sex. Not that it isn't erotic - nearly every scene is alive with sexual energy - but there's a bigger game at stake than just the one played horizontally. This is a film about power, and the loss of power that comes with sexual situations. Tom Cruise, who plays Dr. Bill Harford, is disturbed when his wife Alice (played beautifully by Nicole Kidman) confesses having sexual thoughts about another man. Perhaps part revenge, part curiosity, he sets out on an odyssey to be unfaithful - but somehow, never succeeds. One is reminded of those characters in Greek mythology who were given the impossible tasks in Hades; one had to fill up a bucket with no bottom, and one had to constantly push a rock uphill that would always roll back down to the bottom. Dr. Harford is a man without power who nevertheless requires it - in most situations, his credentials give him power, but he discovers there are certain people he cannot impress simply by flashing his board card.
One of these people is his wife - time and again, she takes the upper hand in their relationship. As Bill stumbles haplessly about New York, visions of Alice's infidelity flash through his mind. Much of his odyssey seems to stem from a "This'll show her!" mindset rather than the cool, rational façade he wants us to see. In fact, nearly all of Bill's actions seem impulsive - from his decision to visit a whore's bedroom to his chance meeting with an old friend at a piano bar to the drive to the infamous manor house where the film's climax occurs. Dr. Harford is unable to exude power here, in the company of an exclusive group of lechers and courtesans. He is seen instantly as an imposter, and the message is clear: Only the powerful need remain.
The specifics of the plot are not nearly as important as the film's ultimate message. Suffice to say, there is intrigue, murder, sex, drugs, and suspicion enough to keep even the most jaded moviegoer interested and guessing until the final scene. And, in keeping with the rest of the film, Cruise's character is not allowed to emerge victorious in the final reel - it is Alice who ultimately shows her strength and power, not Bill. "Eyes Wide Shut," as its title may imply, is full of ironies both large and small: the main character is an anti-hero, his every success doomed from the opening credits; a hooker has sociology textbooks on view in her apartment; a junkie and whore sacrifices herself to save another. What makes this movie so intriguing is that every scene, every moment captured on film, is so carefully constructed that we get the feeling we are standing just behind Bill, observing his tragic fall and even being drawn down with him.
"Eyes Wide Shut" is an outstanding film, one that will be surely recognized by the Academy Awards. I would be very surprised indeed if Kubrick were not nominated posthumously for Best Director. In addition, it is rare indeed for a major studio release starring big-name stars to be an art film - and "Eyes Wide Shut" is a work of art. Every light, every mask, every character - all come together in a stunning array of beauty, shock, and wisdom that makes me realize what a tragic loss Mr. Kubrick's death was. I've often said that Stanley Kubrick never made a bad film, and "Eyes Wide Shut" is no exception. Disturbing, haunting, and shocking, it is also a beautiful, emotional, and masterful requiem by one of the great masters.
Shanghai Surprise (1986)
Dreary, dreadful romantic comedy
"Shanghai Surprise" is an idiotic, out-of-date, poorly-acted, campy action film that wants to be a romantic comedy. Madonna, in her second starring role, had about enough acting talent at this point as a doll. Unfortunately, the doll in this movie comes off looking better than she does.
Madonna, playing a missionary (!) nurse (!!) for a Shanghai mission, is in search of opium (!!!) for medicinal purposes (!!?!!) approaches Sean Penn, an American soldier-of-fortune type who happens to speak Chinese. Penn and Madonna, who were married at the time this film were made, are obviously uncomfortable with the material and do little to justify the film's existence. Penn mugs his way through and attempts to crach a few weak jokes, while Madonna stamps her foot and places her hands on her hips as she squeaks (yes, she squeaks, and you must hear it to believe it) in frustration.
The plot is absolutely ridiculous -- Madonna and Sean Penn chasing after a mysterious cargo of opium known as "Faraday's Flowers" (incidentally, the name of the book this movie is based on) must run from a Chinese gangster with porcelain hands, have a romantic interlude with an Imperial concubine, teach baseball skills to another Chinese gangster, and (boy, aren't we surprised) sleep together to seal a deal.
This movie, like "Mommie Dearest" or "Plan Nine From Outer Space" has immense camp value because it's so deliciously awful. Utterly predictable, insipid, and full of instantly forgettable lines, this movie is the equivalent of the yellow stuff they stick on your nachos at the movie theatres -- it's not really good enough to be real cheese, but it's much cheaper and tastes pretty much the same anyway. This movie isn't even cheesy enough to be cheesy.
Avoid "Shanghai Surprise" unless, like me, you like Madonna WAY too much or if you're just a fan of bad movies.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Thrilling installment of classic serial
George Lucas has done it again. The man behind arguably the most popular movie series of all time, the "Star Wars" trilogy, has expanded the now-classic saga and given us its prehistory. Long-time fans of the series will delight in seeing Luke and Leia's parents, a young Obi-Wan Kenobi, and even audience favorites Yoda, R2-D2, and Jabba the Hutt.
The plot, true-to-form of the best episodic series, is full of political intrigue, colorful characters, far-off locales, and exciting battle sequences. The evil villains, the beautiful princess, the wise heroes - all are familiar territory to us and they all fit nicely with the Star Wars universe. George Lucas both wrote and directed "Phantom Menace," a task he has not undertaken since the original "Star Wars" movie. The Lucas touch shows - and the audience responds.
"The Phantom Menace," while completely entertaining and well worth the admission price, is not without its flaws. Jar-Jar Binks, one of the completely computer-generated characters in the film, is just plain irritating and leaves me hoping that his Gungan race will not be making any appearances in the second and third films. There's also a two-headed alien in the pod-racing sequence who just doesn't belong in this universe - maybe this type of character would be appropriate for "Spaceballs" or one of the anachronistic jokes in a Disney movie like "Aladdin" or "Hercules," but the sportscaster simply detracts from the mythological impact of the film.
The performances are quite good. Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor are superb as the Jedi Knights Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi; Natalie Portman is riveting as the girl-geisha Queen Amidala; even young Jake Lloyd pulls off a touching, empathetic Anakin Skywalker. Ian McDiarmid reprises his role as Senator Palpatine, later known as the Emperor. The supporting cast is also excellent - Samuel L. Jackson, Terence Stamp, and Pernilla August play their small roles with class and dignity - for a style so melodramatic, it's reassuring when the performances manage to be both subtle and powerful. The only performances that feel wrong are the computer generated characters: Jar-Jar Binks, Watto the slave owner, Sebulba the podracer, even the Battle Droids are quite obviously false. Instead of focusing on the character, as we were able to do with Yoda or the Ewoks, we focus on the technological marvels that have made Jar-Jar possible.
Fans of the original trilogy and newcomers to the series are sure to enjoy this "Menace" - while clumsy at times and a bit confusing plotwise, it has a charm to it that fits in precisely with the type of Saturday-afternoon serial Lucas strove to emulate. Just like the "Indiana Jones" movies made with Hollywood royalty Steven Spielberg, the "Star Wars" movies are pure escapist fantasies, sure to take you back long, long, ago to a galaxy far, far away.
Edge of Seventeen (1998)
Honest, satisfying coming-of-age tale
I didn't cry. Not once during the outstanding film "Edge of Seventeen" was I even tempted - and that is one of the film's main strengths. Director David Moreton has given us an honest, completely believable story about a young man named Eric (Chris Stafford), still seventeen years old and in high school. Eric has a best friend, Maggie (Tina Holmes) and they do everything together - even getting a job at a local amusement park in the restaurant. One of Eric's co-workers is an unabashedly gay college student by the name of Rod (Anderson Gabrych), who immediately comes on to him. Eric, confused by his sexuality, finally succumbs to his urges and believes he's met the love of his life.
Like "Beautiful Thing," a British movie exploring the coming of age and coming out of young gay men, "Edge of Seventeen" features strong performances by its young actors in difficult roles. Tina Holmes, playing Maggie, reminds me of a good friend I once had during my coming out process. Chris Stafford, a dead ringer for David Bowie, is so utterly convincing in his role that I empathize with him completely. I think we were all once Eric, torn between our desire to please our parents and friends, and our need to be completely honest with ourselves. Eric experiments with many things - hairstyles, clothing (at one point he looks like Boy George), the local gay bar - conveniently run by Lea DeLaria, the supervisor at his summer job.
DeLaria, playing Angie, provides both comic relief and good advice in a sympathetic, no-nonsense character that made me wish for a mentor like her. Someone who was older, gay, and willing to listen so that I could vent my frustrations without having to feel scared or apologetic. Like all the characters in screenwriter Todd Stephens' script, Angie is both intellectually and emotionally honest, never resorting to cheap shenanigans or pointless mugging to get a laugh.
The comedy in "Seventeen" is true - and so is the drama. Nothing seems forced or contrived here; the situation is all too familiar for that. When Eric finally tells his mother he's gay, she simply says, "I know" and gives him a big hug. Her next reaction, that of "Where did I go wrong?" is one that so many mothers have voiced and acted upon; our hearts all go out to her.
I said earlier that one of the main strengths of "Edge of Seventeen" is that it never made me want to cry. For a movie that touches upon so many personal subjects - coming out, coming of age, loss of innocence - cheap sentimentality is a very easy route to go. By never resorting to this type of stunt, "Edge of Seventeen" becomes an elegant, moving tribute to one young man's personal odyssey. This film is an absolute must-see and is destined to stand up with "Beautiful Thing" and "Lilies" as classics of gay cinema.
Entrapment (1999)
Entrapment is a hit-and-miss prospect
For pure entertainment value, you can't go wrong with Entrapment. Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones are sexy and suave as a pair of art thieves who find themselves falling in love. Connery plays his usual character - dashing, brave, and the quintessential ladies' man; he always seems to have a quip ready to spout and the savoir-faire that makes his fanny-patting James Bond style work. Of course, Connery is arguably the best of the actors who have portrayed James Bond; his latest characters have put that panache to good use, whether playing a hardened criminal in The Rock, a criminal mastermind in The Avengers, or an ingenious art thief in Entrapment. Is Connery getting typecast? That's a discussion to be held at a later time - but his character here, Robert "Mac" MacDougal seems to have echoes of many of his earlier characters.
Catherine Zeta-Jones, whose main claim to fame thus far has been the romantic interest opposite Antonio Banderas in The Mask of Zorro, is a sultry and sassy Virginia "Gin" Baker. Zeta-Jones tries hard to hold her own against Connery, but it's really his show and she's just there for the eye candy. Not that the audience was complaining - she is a very attractive woman and the sheer gymnastic routines she goes through to steal the artwork will be the stuff of every preteen boy's dreams for weeks to come. For all her sex appeal, however, I found it difficult to take Zeta-Jones seriously in this role. She's not the most experienced actress in the world, and often her dialogue sounds forced and unnatural.
The plot is a basic rehash of Mission: Impossible and The Rock, a sort of "let's break into the impregnable fortress" show that features high-tech special effects and some acrophobic stunt work. We see three individual "heists" here - a Rembrandt, a priceless Chinese mask, and the money supply of Southeast Asia. One big problem I had with the movie is that Mac is supposedly a legendary criminal - he's the guy who (right or wrong) gets blamed for the major art heists. However, we see Baker doing all the work, even so far as planning each job. The movie fails to put a real handle on Connery as a thief and instead plays him mainly as a love interest. Due to some machinations of the screenwriters, Ronald Bass and William Broyles, Mac manages to stay ahead of Gin by stealing her clothing (off-screen), stealing the stolen Rembrandt (again off-screen), and stealing the Chinese mask (yet again off-screen).
Director Jon Amiel strives for some stunning visuals here; there are terrific shots of Gin practicing to beat a laser-protected field, of Kuala Lampur at night, and the opening sequence ranks right up there with the Langley break-in from the movie Mission: Impossible for sheer excitement and invention. As in Mission: Impossible, Ving Rhames is in the cast, acting tough and spitting out pithy tough-guy sayings.
Entrapment isn't nearly as well-done as Mission, but it does have some terrific sequences and the characters, while not fully fleshed out, are at least engaging enough to spend a couple of hours with. There are some major plot holes, but why quibble? Entrapment moves right along and has enough plot twists to keep you interested, so take a date and spend the next two hours trying to figure out how to get him into bed.
A Chorus Line (1985)
Film shoddy substitute for stage version
For anyone who has seen and fallen in love with the stage musical A CHORUS LINE, the movie is a shoddy substitute. Not only are songs cut, but unnecessary plot twists added, new dance sequences choreographed, and, let's face it, Richard Attenborough just doesn't know how to film dancers.
Onstage, Michael Bennett's A CHORUS LINE was just that: Michael Bennett. His idea, his choreography, his direction, his gift to Broadway and the rest of the world. It was two hours of hard-hitting, in-your-face realism that really made you feel for these "boys" and "girls." The movie, however, lacks empathy and depth: the actors look like they are auditioning for A CHORUS LINE rather than actually auditioning. Every move, every line of dialogue seems so weighted and planned; Michael Douglas, especially, as Zach is too in control for us to believe that he is this extraordinarily bitchy choreographer. Even when he throws his temper tantrums, you never quite believe him because every gesture, every accented word, every nuance is so obviously rehearsed. And as for him not dancing: Kevin Kline auditioned for the role of Zach on Broadway. Michael Bennett loved his reading, but Kline couldn't dance and ultimately lost the part. How I wish they had done the same for Douglas! A CHORUS LINE is supposed to be a show about nobodies, and aside from a few recognizable faces (Vicki Frederick, who played Cassie on Broadway, as Sheila and Khandi Alexander, of TV's NewsRadio, as one of the many auditioning dancers) you're not supposed to KNOW any of these people. Because you DO know these people. Having a star in any of the roles is a terrible decision: when you focus on Michael Douglas and his ranting instead of on the girls and boys on the line and their stories, you lose something.
It is truly unfortunate that the best sequence in the show (Montage: Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love) is cut drastically to make way for a terrible new song entitled "Surprise, Surprise" that surprisingly received a nomination at the Oscars. Cassie's "mirror dance" has a new song and tragically boring choreography -- one wonders why they bothered to shoot a movie version at all if they were going to mess with a working formula this much.
For fans of musical theatre and those who enjoyed the stage version, this movie is a sad mockery of everything they cherished and loved. For those who never got to see the original production, either on Broadway or on tour, this movie is the only reference they will have to go by. And they'll have to wonder just how it got to be the longest-running musical in Broadway history -- until a little show called CATS overtook it in the late 1990's. But THAT is a different story, and don't even get me started there.
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
Funny, clever update of Shakespeare classic
"10 Things I Hate About You" is a funny, clever update of the Shakespeare classic, "The Taming of the Shrew." The premise for the story is much the same -- in the original, Bianca Minola could not marry until her older sister Katharine was wed -- in the new movie, Bianca Stratford cannot date until her older sister Kat does. Petruchio, now renamed "Patrick Verona," is paid by one of Bianca's suitors and thus neatly sidesteps the whole dowry issue. The jokes are funny, and the situation is just ludicrous enough to be entertaining without insulting the audience's intelligence. This is the "Clueless" makeover ("Clueless" was an update of Jane Austen's "Emma"), and it works quite well.
The one performance that never quite rings true is Andrew Keegan's as Joey, presumably the Hortensio role. He seems somehow too uncomfortable with the material to really sell it, and I have a hard time believing that this person was ever that popular. Julia Stiles and Larisa Oleynik, as the Stratford sisters, are both excellent. Joseph Gordon-Leavitt, in the Lucentio role (Cameron), is the best of the ensemble as he makes his play for Bianca. He is a fine actor, especially for one so young. It probably doesn't hurt that he's had some of the most experience of the young cast, starring in the hit sitcom "Third Rock From the Sun." David Krumholtz ("The Slums of Beverly Hills"), as Cameron's friend Michael, also turns in a funny, convincing performance.
The one quibble I had with the picture was a mainly regional one: I live in Tacoma, Washington, where most of the picture was filmed; our town's historic Stadium High School was transformed into Padua High for the purposes of the screenplay. However, I was offended by the supposed premise that this picture takes place in Seattle. Shots of the Space Needle and Gasworks Park are clearly visible, side by side with shots of downtown Tacoma and ... Stadium High, one of the city's most famous landmarks. The view from the Stratford house is also plainly Commencement Bay (my own house is less than a mile away), and I question how the filmmakers could decide to be so blatantly ambiguous. Pick a city, folks.
Apart from that, the movie was delightful enough, and a terrific date movie. Prepare yourself to laugh your sphincters off.
Follow That Bird (1985)
A family movie that doesn't exclude or preach
"Follow That Bird" attempts to take a show written for pre-schoolers and present it to a larger audience. Not only that, they attempt to create a film that is both entertaining and enlightening. For this reviewer, they succeed magnificently. There are many "in-jokes," so to speak, in this movie -- anyone who has ever watched the show will laugh whenever one of the characters asks, "Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?" and the normal audience of Sesame Street will still be amused by their favorite characters, while learning something about friendship and the meaning of family. Sesame Street, the TV show, was rather daring in that it showed black, white, green, purple, furry, and ... other ... living in perfect harmony. Except for Oscar the Grouch!
And, speaking of Oscar, one of the many funny bits (this movie is packed with them, and all of the humor is safe for family viewing) is the Grouch diner. Look for Sandra Bernhard as a Grouch waitress. The cameos in this film are something else; Chevy Chase, John Candy, Sandra Bernhard, even Waylon Jennings, all devoted some of their time and talent to making this roundly enjoyable movie. And listen for the voice of Sally Kellerman as Miss Finch, the social worker from the Feathered Friends Society.
Not that all of this movie is funny and light-hearted. There's a few sad moments with Big Bird -- I always get choked up during the "One Shining Star" song, which features a three-part counterpoint with Bird, Mr. Snuffleupagus, and Olivia all singing about Big Bird being safe back at home. And the Sleaze Brothers' scenes are thinly disguised cartoon villainry. I don't know if any of the Sesame Street characters have SEEN villains before -- Oscar is the closest they have, but he's just Grouchy. He doesn't actually hurt anyone, and the Sleaze Brothers start out nice and friendly to Big Bird.
We learn quite a bit during this movie -- we learn that we should never order tossed salad in a Grouch restaurant, for example. We learn that it's never ok to jump from a moving vehicle -- unless we have Gordon's permission. And we learn our real home is where the people love and care about us. But, perhaps the most important lesson is that there are 258 fabulous credits! Hahahahahaha! (thunder and lightning sound here) And, from the filmmakers we learn that you CAN make a family film that includes the entire family (how many times have "family films" been suitable only for those family members still in diapers?) and refuses to preach? One of the many strengths of the Sesame Street characters is their ability to teach a lesson without shoving it down our throats. We never feel threatened or annoyed by these characters; we're always safe and welcome on Sesame Street.