Change Your Image
Matt-162
Reviews
Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
Frighteningly Horrible
Take a poor and disconnected storyline, an annoyingly tired cliche cast of characters, mix in a lot of overpriced special effects and bad halloween costumes...top it all off with a healthy dose of bad directing, sound effects and music right out of the October happy meal, and some of the worst acting you can dig up...and you have this steaming pile of excrement.
The story has the feel of something that was worked out in a couple of days on a cocktail napkin. It rushes you in with little suspense to what I suppose was meant to be an interesting plotline, but which rather winds up resembling an early episode of "He-Man" or some other bad cartoon of your choosing. The characters follow suit. You have the detestably cute little boy who lisps every other word, you have the "you go girl" token african-american nanny who I think is supposed to be comedy relief, you have the evil eccentric uncle out to conquer the universe, and a whole array of ghouls right out of the Spencers Halloween season catalogue. Everything about this movie is so poorly done and cartoonish, it never even approaches anything remotely frightening...beyond the fact that someone actually wasted a great deal of money making this atrocity.
A word to the creators of this horror...
You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
Jeepers Creepers (2001)
A lot of potential falls flat
**WARNING - POTENTIAL SPOILERS**
As in all artistic endeavors, there are very few ideas that haven't been played out. In the horror genre, nearly everything has become cliche. Despite this, for a while this movie is legitimately creepy. The remoteness of the surroundings and feeling of helpless solitude amplify the tension early on. Neither of the lead roles were familiar faces to me, so you aren't comforted with any certainty of their ultimate safety at any time. That the beast drove around in broad daylight in a rusty, hulking truck was a nice touch.
When the monster is revealed, the movie loses a lot of its impact. I found the beast much more threatening as an unknown, rather than the winged costume store goon it eventually turns out to be. While the absorbing qualities from its victims is a nice twist reminiscent of Lovecraft, there are numerous messy spots. The demon is crippled after being run down by the car, yet police bullets at near point-blank range bounce off of him. Despite this, the demon seems apprehensive at the presence of police guns near the end during his abduction of Darry. The addition of the psychic woman seems a nice idea at first, but beyond her initial introduction she is hardly memorable. She claims she sees future events in her dreams, yet also claims to know what the demon calls his lair and then tosses out some mumbo-jumbo about a 23 day time period the demon is allowed to kill. (23rd spring)If she only sees what will be, how does she know all the details about the monster? Her continual foreshadowing on the ending also completely deflates what might otherwise have been a creepy conclusion. All in all what starts strong ultimately falls flat, and Jeepers Creepers joins the ranks of other average wait-for-rent fare. It will undoubtably have multiple tiresome sequels before withering away...as I write this review, I notice a sequel is already underway. That's unfortunate.
A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)
A fairy tale
My comments on the movie itself are brief...it's a beautiful, strange movie with the spirit of a fairy tale and the pacing of a dream. It is definitely more in the line of a Spielberg sort of film than a Kubrick...but there is still a vague sense of darkness underlying it all that Kubrick perhaps would have appreciated.
I listened to comments by other viewers as I was leaving the theater and have read many of the negative comments here...and have come to the conclusion that most people do not have much in the imagination department. Those who just want to be passively entertained in between oversized gulps of popcorn and chatterings with friends probably will not enjoy this movie. If you drop your cynicism and let yourself just go along for the ride, it's really a beautiful and sad movie. Yes, it is derivative of fairy tales...so what. It's meant to be. Yes, some of the dialogue is cheesy...so what. It's meant to be. Yes, the movie moves slowly...so what. It wouldn't be what it is any other way.
If you're looking for the typical summer movie where cleavage, explosions and adrenaline abound, don't come looking here. If you're willing to watch and imagine and leave your Leonard Maltin "How to Dissect a Movie in 12 Easy Steps" manual at home...see the movie for what it is and is meant to be...you will not be sorry. I give it a 9.
Dune (2000)
A Fair Adaptation
My first impression on this movie is that it isn't quite done well enough to convey the story clearly to anyone who hasn't seen the book...in my opinion. The movie is obviously running on a low budget. Some of the computer-generated effects are nice, but often annoyingly obvious. (The desert mouse) The acting ranges from decent to horrid. (William Hurt demands jumper cables) The story lacks the surreal atmosphere of the book...that Lynch actually captured quite well, despite having his movie cut to shreds. There are also some pointed liberties taken with the story - for instance the expanded role of Princess Irulan. (A cold fish in the book...but quirky and daring here) Paul Atreides comes off as a brat too often, and Faide (spelling?) is horribly cast. All in all, this movie would have been a total yawn for me except for Barbora Kodetova's role as Chani, which was one of the more convincing in the film...not to mention she may be the most gorgeous woman I have ever lay eyes upon. Wow...
Anyway, all in all I give this a six for effort. With a better budget and closer adhearance to the story it might be perfect. Why is it that film makers feel they have to change classic stories? The reason they are classics is because they were written the way they were. Just a thought...
Wo hu cang long (2000)
A beautiful, captivating movie
A simple but beautifully told story of love and regret...set against the gorgeous backdrop of China, full of mind-numbing action sequences and the quietly powerful performances of its cast...Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon raises the bar from a mere action movie to a dreamlike fairy tale with characters all too human...despite their superhuman physical abilities.
A mighty warrior (Yun-Fat) grows weary of his violent life and entrusts his legendary sword to his longtime partner (Yeoh) to safekeep. The sword is stolen, leading the two warriors on a chase to recover it and rescue a rebellious nobleman's daughter from the manipulations of their ancient enemy, Jade Fox. The story strongly illustrates the clash of desire against traditional duty in a culture (in the film) very much different than our own. It shows the destructive potential and loneliness in a life without structure, and at the same time...the emptiness that can come by ignoring your dreams. The movie is gorgeously shot and put together. The choreography in the fight scenes is fantastic...almost dance-like in its beauty. From an action standpoint, it will take your breath away...moving from locale to locale with the rapidness of Star Wars. The cast is talented and performs their parts with all the dignity and wit the story demands.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon may be the best film I have seen this year. It's a hard call...but one thing is for certain. If you haven't seen this movie, try to find it. It's well worth the time.
Hannibal (2001)
Technically, Great. Overall? Bad...
A lifelong fan of Ridley Scott, I went to see this ill-attempted addition to the Lecter series despite my better judgement. I had heard the book was largely exploitive of the character and over the top. The movie followed suit. The story is simple: Starling is disgraced during a failed FBI raid. Lecter catches reference to this whilst in hiding in Italy and begins to contact her. Discovered by an Italian detective, Lecter is soon back to his grizzly murderous ways and we are taken on a downhill slope of gorey killings that approach a cartoonish quality in their unique nature.
The film is as beautiful as you would expect from Ridley Scott. Technically, this is exactly what you would want. Dark, gritty and full of shadows. The Zimmer score is beautiful in its mischievious evil subtlety. The acting is very good - the most notable performance by Gary Oldman. Hopkins performs his Lecter character with an almost parody style, giving the movie an awkward comedy feel. I didn't think this was successful...Lecter is hardly a character one can comfortably empathize with. The movie tries to take a more sympathetic look at him...describing his victims as criminals or "rude" people, yet also shows him biting a nurse's face in beastial fashion at the same time. No sympathy here, speaking for myself.
The movie ends somewhat abruptly and fails to encompass the length of the novel from what I understand. Nothing is tied up...it has an unfinished feel to it. As a fellow viewer pointed out to me, the movie is little more than a B-movie with A list players. For those seeking a Lecter gore-fest, enjoy! For those seeking story and the suspense of Hannibal's predecesor...give this one a pass.
Little Nicky (2000)
This was far beyond terrible...
...and a "one" is far too high a rating. Yes, typically I have been a fan of Adam Sandler's films so I was fully aware of some of the silliness that would await me. I just had no idea it would cross that line into vile stupidity.
The gags aren't funny. They are extremely obvious and tedious. A degree of that is par for the course with Sandler's stuff, but this really went over the top. All the cameos by famous actors and faces only dresses up what this film really is. Garbage. Very expensive garbage...and I'm terribly upset that I bought a ticket and helped pay off this garbage. I wish I had flipped through the reviews on here first and possibly saved myself a trip. I gave Sandler the benefit of the doubt. I'll definitely be more careful next time. Please....if you're reading this review...WAIT FOR VIDEO! Or even better, DON'T SEE IT AT ALL!
Forgive me for the lack of detail here, but there's really not much more to say as I see it.
The Beach (2000)
Over-dressed and boring
The beach is a beautiful movie. You could almost watch it with the sound off, much in the vein of the "Endless Summer" surfing movies...because outside of scenery, it's hard for me to see anything else to waste time on.
The movie starts out interestingly enough. Robert Carlyle gives such an energetic performance in his small roll it almost suggests of great things to come. This expectation lasts up until our heroes find their island paradise, and then the entire thing down-shifts into neutral. As reviewers have stated, few of the characters in this movie are likeable; they are pretentious, naive and treacherous. Their loyalties lie to themselves and their pleasures alone. Dicaprio gives an uninspired performance as perhaps the most despicable of the lot...his selfishness and childish behavior destroying any sympathy or empathy when his Kurtz-like descent into madness arrives. By the time the movie reaches its dramatic peak, I was too bored with the entire thing to care.
I picked this up because of Danny Boyle's involvement. He does a nice job with the movie, but throws in way too many bells and whistles in attempt to make a bad story interesting. I've never read the book, but if it's anything like this adaption...I'll never understand how it sold like it did. This is a complete yawner. It presents a obvious and tired examination of that certain clique-ish side of human nature that pervades the island camp. The conclusion is anti-climactic and predictable. The characters are not developed at all; it's like watching an episode of "The Real World". The acting (with the exception of Carlyle and Tilda Swinton) is weak. As other reviewers have stated, another actor in DiCaprio's place may have improved this movie significantly, as he is very unconvincing to say the least.
The soundtrack is good for the most part. The scenery is beautiful....and there are enough beautiful people to fill a dozen bad sit-coms. Too bad there's dialogue. It would have been better off without it.
The Ninth Gate (1999)
Flawed, but beautiful
This movie will very likely be one of those either loved or hated. It has its flaws to be sure, but I didn't feel them to be accidental. So many films (at least, in this country) concern themselves with witty dialogue...sometimes to the point the players look to be reading off prompters. Other movies are destroyed by an overkill ratio of effects to story and style. What most movies don't have is atmosphere and life. It's hard to point at exactly why, but after watching this movie I felt it had both.
First of all, many critics have and will attack this movie on the basis of its length. I've never felt this was a valid criticism personally, and in this movie I think it was necessary to transform a simple detective tale into the dark and somewhat confusing story it finishes as. The movie moves slowly, but the sights and sounds along the way add momentum to the overall feel. Nevertheless, those requiring frequent stimulation doubtlessly will be annoyed with all of this.
Secondly, much criticism has been devoted to certain cliche areas of the movie such as the black-robed coven and the sex scene by firelight. I think there was a bit of humor in both...however it didn't detract anything to me. At the point of the sex scene, most observant viewers will have likely drawn conclusions to the nature of Mrs. Seigner's character...it merely struck me as simple symbolism of Dean Corso's coupling with evil. Somewhat hokey perhaps, but intended. The movie never gave me the impression of seriousness; it is a fantasy piece after all.
And finally, that the movie strays away from the religious I felt wise. The movie wasn't really about religion. It was about humanity and the darkness within...and overall, it was something of a ghost story type...like The Omen movies. If it had become bogged down in religious issues of good and evil, it would have become another boring story that has been done over and over again. (Read...Stigmata perhaps?)
Overall, I felt the movie had a dark, yet fun feel to it. The visuals are outstanding. The acting is terrific. The music is well done. (Give me a break on the cliche music bit. James Horner made a career on it) If you're looking for some deep message here, avoid this. If you're attention span clocks out at an hour and a half, avoid this. If you're looking for a movie with a dark, mysterious life of its own give this one a look. I give it a nine of ten.
White Lies (1998)
Terrible
A wandering, confused tale of a young middle class girl seduced into a white nationalist group...and one heck of a yawner. The story jumps from place to place. At the onset, we have a seemingly intelligent young woman who is frustrated by the difficulties of finding employment in a multi-ethnic/lingual area. She broaches this with a visiting journalist to her school who condemns her as a racist, and then we are rocketing down a wonderful slippery slope towards a vast evil white underground, where nazis, thugs and murderers abound...crosses are burned...confederate flags fly...and our heroine falls for all of it hook, line and sinker. It's all very cliche, very overboard, and actually irritating towards the end when the melodrama reaches a nearly "soap opera-esque" peak. The direction is more of that music video sort of garbage too prevalent in movies now...with long pop musical passages full of sunsets, beaches, and woeful expressions. The whole thing feels like something a sixth grade student might create. Unless you go for this sort of immature, melodramatic social commentary...I'd avoid this one. American History X is a much more realistic look at white nationalist groups, and a well directed and acted film as well. As for this one, I want my $2 back!
Stigmata (1999)
Pretentious melodramatic garbage
I rented this on the word of a few friends who had enjoyed it. I won't listen to their advice again soon. How many times have I seen this sort of story before? The corruption of the church...wow! That's a concept! Possession...with your standard levitation scenes, glowing eyes, flaming curtains and the like. (As another reviewer stated, Gabriel Byrne does resemble the Father in Exorcist) Let's jump past all of that cliche nonsense and look at the "serious underlying message" of this movie, which seems to be that the Catholic (and probably every other) Church is so bent on controlling the flow of people's spirituality, that they'll stoop even as low as murder. No kidding. Read a history book. For serious social commentary, this movie rates right up there with a Jerry Springer "Final Thought". It's ponderous, repetitive...and the Mtv video direction (everyone walks in slow motion) is particularly annoying. Throw in a typical tech-rock soundtrack by Billy Corgan and company, and there's not much left but a really long music video with decent acting. Avoid this movie.
The Postman (1997)
The Mailmen Save the World! AKA: Desperate Screenwriter
This movie (if one could call it that) is about a man struggling to survive in a chaotic post nuclear wasteland. His solution? "Hey, I'll be a POSTMAN!" Yes folks, KC rides again, complete with a dazzling (much sarcasm implied) slow motion shot of him taking a letter from a kid. Oh, I think if I were suffering of hunger and tyranny, the first guy I'd go running to would be my local Mail Carrier. Save it. If Costner never made another movie, I'd be content. Rule of thumb, any movie that casts Tom Petty in a speaking role is best avoided.
From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
Bad. Really Bad.
Here's a question for you. If two guys kidnapped your family, forced you to drive into Mexico, and landed you in a club of angry vampires who kill said family... would you suddenly find yourself wanting to run away into the sunset with one of these men? This is a ridiculous movie and proof that Quentin should stick to his talk-ridden gangster flicks. The acting is dull, the vampires are typical and brainless, and the super soakers full of Holy Water.... The ending is what put this one in the turkey books for me. What woman would want to run away with the man responsible for her family's demise? If you try and defend that, I worry for you.
Congo (1995)
A Half Review
I can't comment on the full movie since I walked out halfway through. For the part I did see, this movie is one of the most loathsome items of garbage to seep out of Hollywood in years. First of all, it takes incredible liberties with the book. (When did our Heroine become such a nice, caring character) Beyond that, it's just ridiculous. In one scene, our heroes shoot down Anti-Aircraft missiles with flare guns. (Wonder they didn't get sucked out of the plane hatch) Save your money.
Motorama (1991)
Genius!
Madness. Pure madness. Isn't it beautiful? Motorama is one of the strangest movies you might ever see. The dark overtones, mixed with the purely bizarre story make this a definite must see for fans of the weird and zany. A very funny movie!
The House Where Evil Dwells (1982)
Be Drunk. Very Drunk.
Giant crabs cursing in Japanese? What was in that drink? A terrible movie, but laughable. I love the invisible Samurai ghosties running around. Drink much beer before you see this movie.
American History X (1998)
Well Done
The nicest thing about this movie is that it illustrates the consequences and ugliness of hatred in a realistic light, while keeping humanity in perspective. Unlike some other movies on this subject, American History refrains from becoming a one-sided racial editorial. We are presented with a character whose situations lead him to a bad choice. That choice is not excused, but rather held up as an example. Sadly there is a lot of hate in America that needs to be addressed. This movie is a compelling look. Norton is impressive in the lead role, and Avery Brooks also gives a great performance.
Chasing Amy (1997)
Give Me a Break
A ridiculous movie. The dialogue is incredibly forced, the acting (even from the capable Affleck) is very bad and the story is so silly it's insulting.
Ok, Affleck plays a Comic book artist who falls in love with another artist who - oh by the way - happens to be a lesbian. (with a horrible whiney voice) She eventually falls for Affleck, and they proceed to a happy affair, until Affleck discovers some disturbing history on her high school sex life. Really, after all the gusto and zest with which Afflecks character pursued this girl, he's going to turn on her just like that? ...and Affleck's sexual proposal at the end is pointless and crude.
The formula is tired Kevin. Get out of the cracks and try to make a good movie again.
Independence Day (1996)
BIG EXPLOSIONS! BIG SPACESHIPS! ...yup, another Roland film
Aliens are out to get us! What a concept. Apparently, lots of people needed their fix; this movie went over like a storm at the box office. Yes, if there is one thing Roland Emerich can do well, it's hype a movie. Ok, the movie had terrific special effects. It had a lot of explosions and cars flying. I tell you what, go rent Die Hard and Star Wars and save yourself the trouble of this silliness.
Will Smith displays his strength by knocking out an alien that later takes out an entire lab of armed men. (Note: the "Alien" was really just a suit with the real alien inside. How do you knock a suit out?) Jeff Goldblum proves that defeating a superior aggressive race is as easy as the sound of a modem connecting. (To what, I have NO idea) Randy Quaid does some interesting slow-motion stunt flying. (...and what witty thing to say when you're about to die)
This movie has so many frayed plot lines and ridiculous developments, I thought I was watching a pro wrestling bout. Oh, but what wonderful SFX! Save it. I can get that watching Jurassic Park. Put your brain aside for this one folks. It will surely thank you for it.
Heat (1995)
Wonderful!
Al Pacino, Robert Deniro, Val Kilmer, Michael Mann... A great cast, a great director and a great movie. This movie has everything one can ask for in an action movie. Great acting, great cinematography, a gripping storyline and probably the best "Cops & Robbers" shoot-out ever filmed! Also, check out the awesome soundtrack by Elliot Goldenthal, with lovely additions by Moby and even Brian Eno!
Beware, this is a long movie at over 2 hours, but well worth it.
Batman Forever (1995)
Better...but not by much
This installment to the Batman franchise introduces a new leading man and director. Val Kilmer proved a more physically believable Batman (with the help of a more streamlined costume)and Chris O'Donnel was a nice addition in the role of Robin. New director Joel Schumacher attempts to take the franchise in a more fun/campy direction, and succeeds in all too annoying a fashion. The storyline is confused and meandering, and the character development of Batman takes an inconsistent turn as well - Kilmer more a comedian than the melancholy character from the first two movies. In the end, the movie devolves into a high budget Jim Carrey promotion, and the rest fades into his shadow.
Overall, Batman Forever is an improvement on its previous installment, but give me Burton over Schumacher anyday.