SHADO-5 Reviews

The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle (2000)

Great TV show adulterated into a joyless political diatribe

[1/10 · 25 June 2000]

Showbiz, continuing a long tradition, has once again taken the sublime and made it ridiculous. The movie Rocky and Bullwinkle evinces none, I repeat none, of the charm and brilliance of yesteryears TV show. Rocky and Bullwinkle no longer bumble through ingenious comic situations; in the movie they plod through an insipid, sanctimonious plot encumbered with ludicrously politically correct (and unfunny) villains. The acting falls miserably far from the mark. Jason Alexander is dreadful as Boris (Why didn't Danny Devito get this part?) and the many gratuitous cameos aren't funny either, particularly whoopi goldberg's lame impersonation of a hip judge. Get some tapes of the tv show, and avoid this movie like it's the plague.

The Patriot (2000)

Best Film of the Year

[10/10 · 21 June 2000]

The Patriot brilliantly portrays true patriotism: the love of ideals, not just the "patriotism" of the reflexive, mindless masses. The film makers accurately and passionately detail the British atrocities of the American Revolutionary War, and thus by implication comment on the wickedness of hundreds of years British colonialism, imperialism and racism worldwide. Richly drawn characters, an outstanding script and inspired acting and direction cap off this beautiful, inspired, epic film.

The Unexpected Mrs. Pollifax (1999 TV Movie)

Ed Bishop highlights an otherwise hackneyed tv movie

[1/10 · 2 June 1999]

Ed Bishop, best known for his brilliant realization of Commander Straker in the epic Science Fiction series, "UFO", makes this otherwise predictable and dull tv movie worth watching. Bishop lends both humor and gravitas to a movie that desperately needs both.

Priest (1994)

Politically Correct bigots will love this Dreck

[1/10 · 16 April 1999]

Unlike people with a PC agenda, I oppose all bigotry, even against Christians and Catholics. The PC bigots will praise "Priest" simply because it's pro-Homosexual, anti-Catholic. These same Politically Correct hypocrits will not tolerate one word against their creed. Finally, aside form the PC, Priest is just a plain bad movie. Junk for the tasteless masses.

Babylon 5 (1993–1998)

B 5 sucks, it's boring, cheap and pretentious

[2 April 1999]

Idiots like crap like Blowalon 5. Cheap production values, pretentious scripts, and poorly acted. Tasteless trash. For great science fiction, watch UFO, Doctor Who, The Prisoner, Red Dwarf, Blake's 7 (from which JMS ripped off much of B5) and MST 3K with Joel Hodgson. B 5 has nothing to it. The taste of its adherents is appalling.

The Mod Squad (1999)

Even worse than the typical pointless remake

[1/10 · 28 March 1999]

The Mod Squad incorporates every cliche in book, except at the end. Overracting abounds - Omar Epps is particularly one dimensional and cartoonish. Fortunately the movie is only 90 minutes long. Avoid this movie like it's the IRS.

Daylight (1996)

IQs over 50 will be bored

[1/10 · 28 March 1999]

This movie is unintentionally funny. Stallone is overracting again in one asinine scene after another. Pro wrestling is more believable than this dreck. Stallone should be banned from the screen, for the benefit of humanity.

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

The worst war movie of all time

[1/10 · 9 March 1999]

Lame, revisionist crap. What the hell kind of squad does no recon, talks out loud, and stays bunched together? Also, many of the weapons (esp. the German M 60)are improperly, and fantastically used. How can you use a sniper scope out of the box, with no sighting in? Idiotic. Spielbergs enthusiastic portrayal of the murder of German prisoners is disturbing in the extreme.

In the Line of Duty: The Price of Vengeance (1994 TV Movie)

Politcally Correct, Factually Incorrect

[1/10 · 5 March 1999]

The Price of Vengenance is another Politically Correct Hollywood film that blames crime on guns, and not criminals. Some facts this movie ignores: 1) It is illegal for a felon to even touch a gun, let alone shoot one. 2) Fully automatic weapons have been banned since the Gun Control Act of 1934 (in response to a few high profile cases, like Bonnie and Clyde, not widespread abuse) 3) Silencers have never been legal. 4) Guns don't pull their own triggers. The movie is an irrational, yet highly emotional, plea to disarm and leave defenseless the law abiding. Of course, rich Hollywood producers are well protected by private security, and have no need of guns. The Price of Vengenace is an ignorant, despicable movie.

In the Line of Duty: Ambush in Waco (1993 TV Movie)

Fascist Garbage

[1/10 · 5 March 1999]

Watch the outstanding documentary, Waco: The Rules of Engagement, and then watch this insulting inane dreck. If you are like me, you will want to slap the perpetrators of this ignorant, hateful, pro-"law enforcement" propaganda. People who deny the Holocaust will love Ambush in Waco.

The Chase (1994)

What kind of idiots like PC dreck like this?

[1/10 · 2 March 1999]

Way to go, Hollywood. Yet another idiotic movie with an evil white male conservative Republican as the heavy. Memo to ShowBiz: Some people are actually smart enough to see through your Politically Correct hypocrisy. Dullards will love the "action."

The American President (1995)

Idiotic, Fascist, Jingoistic PC Claptrap

[1/10 · 22 February 1999]

The American President posits that America would be a paradise if everyone obeyed the dictates of rich white liberal dilletantes. An all too familiar Hollywood theme.

Poetic Justice (1993)

No Poetry, No Justice, No Talent

[1/10 · 21 February 1999]

John Singleton has not, and probably never will make a good film. Poetic Justice is sophmoric, trite and sanctimoniuos garbage. As in all of Singleton's films, racial stereotypes abound. Weak performances by Shakur and Jackson don't help.

Dave (1993)

More Politically Correct Idiocy

[1/10 · 20 February 1999]

How many times can Hollywood retread the same tired "Evil white male conservative" story? Movies like Dave that glorify liberalism are especially annoying because they are made by cutthroat capitalists! As for the movie itself? It's boring and pretentious. In other words, a typical Hollywood film.

Collision Course (1989)

Collision Course: 2 hour suckfest

[1/10 · 30 December 1998]

Collusion Course is even worse than the typical "evil white male corporate capitalist" movie of the week. This movie is less pleasant than a toothache. Jay Leno can act. He's good in his underrated debut movie, The Silverbears, in which he gives a performance consist with the demands of his character. This movie is so bad Leno's character, a sanctimonious buffoon, is less annoying than Morita's character, a sanctimonious fool.