PaxNox Reviews

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997)

Lighten up!

[7/10 · 2 May 1999]

Chill out people! Yes, it's silly. Yes, the plot is contrived. Yes, Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino act like idiots. The kicker is that the movie is fun.

Take it for what it's meant to be. Like the kind of blonde Kudrow portrays... A good time.

It's reminiscent of "Big Trouble In Little China." Another great film that's just plain kooky. This kind of uninhibited movie-making is a rare jewel. Sometimes we forget that movies are entertainment, not just art.

The Stupids (1996)

Worse than "Hobgoblins."

[1/10 · 2 May 1999]

I don't care what anyone else says, this movie is the worst piece of trash committed on film. What was John Landis thinking?

I know it's based on a series of children's books, but c'mon! Even kids hate this movie. It's pointless and boring. Tom Arnold once again amply demonstrates that his only talent is wasting production money.

I think the only reason The Stupids hasn't appeared on the 100 worst films of all time is that only 20 or so people will admit to watching this garbage. At least Hobgoblins made it on MST3K.

The Matrix (1999)

Noir-punk at its finest!

[7/10 · 5 April 1999]

If John Woo and James Cameron (pre-Titanic) conspired to make a film, it would likely look like this! Noir-punk at it's finest! The martial arts and gunfights are strictly Hong Kong visual poetry. The special effects and action stars are in-your-face Hollywood.

It is an interesting mix that has failed before because of the diluting effect each genre has on the other. (The Replacement Killers, Hard Target, and The Corruptor come to mind.) But The Matrix has the good sense to keep the genres in their own sphere of expertise. When it's a martial arts scene, the action is pure Sonny Chiba or Sammo Hung. When the special effects occur the audience gets served a helping of eye-popping big-budget CGI.

The Matrix is sure to become a sci-fi favorite like Terminator 2, Predator, or Blade Runner.

Wing Commander (1999)

Wait for version 1.5

[13 March 1999]

Chris Roberts, who originally created the "Wing Commander" games and directed the interactive video sequences in, makes the jump to the big screen. The change is remarkable. Everything in this movie bears the mark of a bigger budget.

First, the evil aliens do not look like overgrown tigers. For those unfamiliar with the "Wing Commander" series of video games, the original Kilrathi aliens looked like big cats. (A blatant rip-off of the "Man-Kzin Wars" pulp novels.) Thankfully, Roberts decided to use his bigger budget and spring for more menacing aliens. Fans of the games, no doubt purists, will disagree and find the new Kilrathi upsetting but I view the change as akin to Gene Roddenberry's makeover of the Klingons from the TV show to the cinema.

Roberts also chose a better class of actors than was available in the game sequences. The Wing Comander games always had a fine starring cast (Mark Hamil, Ginger Lynn, Malcom MacDowell, etc) but the supporting cast always left something to be desired, consisting of the game's programmers, testers, family members, and others. The film's cast is much improved. The supporting ensemble includes such classically trained actors as Jurgen Prochnow and David Suchet.

Of course, the technical effects are better. The games never suffered from a lack of video pinache, but they had limited time (30 seconds to a couple of minutes) in which to wow their audience in a video sequence. Roberts always managed to squeeze the action into that time and develop an engrossing plot.

There lies the problem. It is obvious to the viewer that Roberts lacks the discipline needed to pace a scene for the big screen. It's as if he forgot how to keep a scene tight. Perhaps it was the daunting prospect of filling 90 minutes all at once. Maybe it was the knowledge that the audience could not influence the outcome with a joystick.

Whatever the reason, Wing Commander is a mess. The plot moves nowhere, the dialogue is corny, the space combat is too dark and slow, and the soundtrack is trite. Overall, the movie is just not exciting. My friend's ten-year-old complained the movie was boring about 40 minutes into it.

Wait for the patch.

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Stunned silence provides evidence of impact.

[10/10 · 2 March 1999]

My humble skills as a writer lend me no assistance in capturing the trauma that one experiences while watching this movie. The best way for me to sum it up is by telling you what typical audience reaction greets the end credits - stunned silence.

It is a testament to the power of this piece of film that it leaves viewers in shocked awe of the ordeal that the WWII generation must have faced at home and in combat. The documentary-style cinematography and gritty violence draws the audience into the terror that faced every person that came ashore in Normandy that cold June morning.

As incredibly nerve-wracking as that sequence is in the film, there is a hard truth that every viewer keeps in his mind. It is this fact alone that allows us to watch in fascination as scores of men are slaughtered on the beach.

The undeniable truth is that this is make-believe.

The bullets are not real. The blood is fake. When the director called "Cut!" everyone in the scene got up and went to the buffet. So as bad as it looks on camera, we realize that it's all just a lot of masterful storytelling.

The film's triumph lies in the slowly dawning idea that grows within the audience. By the end, there is a small voice that whispers, "This is a movie, but for many it was real - and even worse than what was shown..."