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Hulk (2003)
Hulk Smashes, Crashes!
I was so tempted to go with the cliche, "It ain't easy being green." But considering that every newspaper and magazine (including EW) already has done so, I'll throw aside the tripe and get down to business -- this movie was a BIG disappointment.
The beginning moves way too slow and given how much time is spent on dialogue, we're only given caricatures of characters. Betty Ross (Jennifer Connelly) cries, Bruce Banner (Eric Bana) mopes and General Thunderbolt Ross (Sam Elliott) gets mad -- and they all do it a lot. This is supposed to be a movie about a giant green monster who smashes things, but the action sequences are short and too spread out.
Director Ang Lee basically has tried to making a thinking man's film about an unthinking creature ruled by emotion, most of it rage. The concept just doesn't work.
Also, even though most of Industrial Light and Magic's work in creating the totally CGI Hulk is good and makes a believable creature, some of the effects are sub par. The ending battle sequence between Banner and his father was too dark and I had trouble making out exactly what was going on. The same was true -- though not as bad -- in an earlier fight sequence in the film between the Hulk and some gamma-irradiated dogs.
After reading several articles about the making of the film, I would guess that Industrial Light and Magic and Lee added shadowing to make the Hulk look more realistic and just went overboard.
This wasn't a terrible film, but it's not going to set any box office records. Wait for the DVD.
Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills (1996)
Scary to think so many could like this film
Welcome to the 1990s, a time in which television and documentary film makers discover they can even spin real life. Scary as this seems, take further into account that all the people in this "documentary" are real and agreed to be filmed.
Calling this "Jerry Springer Goes to the Movies" would be exaggerating, but not by much.
Consider: "Paradise Lost" starts with the old trick of shocking the viewer to draw them in. This is done with very graphic footage of three murdered and mutilated second grade boys. The film makers show little to no sympathy for their passing. The boys merely are props.
Three murder suspects and a menagerie of relatives and friends then are introduced. It becomes evident within these first few minutes that Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky, the film makers, doubt the guilt of three misfit high school boys charged with the crime. They focus heavily on the leader, Damien, who enjoys the attention of the camera so much that he becomes unaware that he really is on trial for murder. He even plays up the part by openly showing his interest in witchcraft and death -- the bodies of the dead boys appeared to have had ritualistic markings cut into them.
Subtle suspicion is aimed toward the step-father of one of the dead boys. The film makers repeatedly question him about the murders, trying to pin down his uneven responses. The man simply isn't very educated and later we discover he has a brain tumor. In turn, it's easy to confuse him into giving suggestive answers and cause him to appear somewhat guilty. Passing interest is given to his alibi, which is airtight. Instead we are expected to believe that because he is mentally slow that he might have done it.
Suspicion also is placed on a mysterious derelict reportedly seen in the area around where the boys were found. In fuzzy eyewitness accounts, he is said to have acted strangely and, of course, is never found or identified.
Uneducated also defines many of the other people shown in the film. The film makers, however, are very intelligent and use this to their advantage. While never directly stating their opinions, they use leading and suggestive questions to twist the recollections and comments of those they interview. They also cleverly leave out important pieces of information that lead to the outcome of the trial. Both combine to place a shadow over the convictions of Damien and his two cohorts, who lack the intelligence to do anything but play along.
Damien, whether guilty or not, never shows remorse and floats back and forth between a drug-like mental haze and an almost gleeful indulgence in playing the 90s version of Charles Manson. Indifference is not the mark of an innocent man.
I wonder if Damien ever sits in his cell at night considering what he traded for his 15 minutes of fame.
Gen¹³ (1998)
Needs a little Gen activation
With a little polishing, this could have been a really good film.
At first glance, Gen 13 seems to have all the right ingredients: Quality voice talent from Alicia Witt (Twin Peaks), John de Lancie (Q from "Star Trek: Next Generation"), Mark Hamill (duh!) and even Cloris Leachman. It also has a good plot, taken almost verbatim from the pages of Jim Lee and J. Scott Campbell's "Gen 13" comic book mini-series.
Kevin Altieri's past experience with the "Batman" animated series is obvious, mostly keeping the story moving at a good clip.
But this movie views as though the money behind it suddenly lost interest during the final stages. Although there are several good lines, "We're like... the 'Justice League,' man", the voices are not well mixed and, at times, need additional coaching. Background noises mix in and out at random. The "Grunge" character is poorly scripted as the well-meaning dope and Flea fails to give him any personality.
The music weighs everything down. It sounds more like the soundtrack for a Saturday morning cartoon than an 82-minute feature film.
Despite all that, the visuals are really pretty good. Fairchild is still the busty titan and Freefall the good-hearted bad girl. And they are still fun to look at.
Like I said, it seems unfinished.
Naked Lunch (1991)
Don't think, just watch
I have never read "Naked Lunch," by William S. Burroughs. Okay, that withstanding, this movie is both stimulating and exhausting. David Cronenberg presents so many visions of reality that the viewer is constantly trying to regroup and understand the theme of the story. That's the beauty of Cronenberg. Thinking your way through one of his movies is sure to leave you with a headache. Instead, Cronenberg's tactic of letting the movie explain itself forces you to just accept what you are seeing.
Peter Weller is excellent in this movie. He seemingly begins the movie as the rational man whom Cronenberg then takes on an irrational journey, and, what the heck, we get to go along! You're never sure if Weller is going mad or just living in a world completely outside ours. The scariest part about this movie, is that, by the end, it almost begins to make sense. I enjoyed the ride.
From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter (1999)
This vampire movie bites
Sorry boys and girls, but the summary says it all. Somebody needed to make some extra money and this "film" was we got to show for it. "The Hangman's Daughter" is supposed to refer to the coming of age of the next great leader of the undead, half human, half vampire, ala "Blade." Unfortunately, Alvaro Rodriguez, the screenwriter, and P.J. Pesce, the director, wait until the last half of the movie to even touch on the subject, and even then it's not fully explained. Pesce fails to give us a hero we can like or a villain we truly hate. Instead, as you can expect, there's a lot of blood, guts and crappy dialogue.
There are some attempts at humor, but they get trampled while Pesce breaks half of the rules in dealing with vampires, i.e., vampires remaining dead after their heart-stakes are removed, feeling pain when kicked in the crotch, and so on. I liked FDTD and stomached FDTD2, but they should have stopped there.
The Trigger Effect (1996)
A movie so bad my wife threatened divorce
I love Elizabeth Shue. Once I saw her on the cover of the video box, I had to get this film. But my wife said that if I ever rent such a "senseless, pointless, useless waste of two hours" again, I'll have to find a new wife to watch it with.
Wild Wild West (1999)
Had hoped for better...
If you would have told me 10 years ago that Will Smith would become one of the top action heroes in the industry, I would have guessed that you'd been breathing too much of that "Fresh Prince of Bel Air." And, yet, I have enjoyed everyone of his movies (yes, even "Bad Boys"). Unfortunately, now that stardom and the big paycheck have arrived, Smith proves that even he needs a good script to work from.
This self-styled new and hipper Wild Wild West takes its lead from the classic TV series that starred Robert Conrad as James West. Smith, as the updated West, stars with sultry Salma Hayek, Kenneth "Mr. Shakespeare" Branagh as the evil Dr. Arliss and Kevin Kline playing Artemus Gordon and just about every other character in the movie.
Smith first appears a good fit for the West role, displaying Conrad's trademark coolness under fire. But just a few minutes into the movie, it's obvious that Smith lacks the other important quality that Conrad brought to the part: that he's dangerous.
Perhaps director Barry Sonnenfield realized this and allowed Smith to inject several attempts at humor. Or perhaps it's a result of a patchwork script, parts written before Smith signed on and those after. Either way, the result is the audience left having to believe that Smith would shoot anything that breathes one second and the next holster his six shooters so that he can try and joke his way from a bunch of paunchy, old slave owners that want to hang him.
The script skims over everything else. Kline hams it up as a drag dressing and invention tinkering but otherwise bland Artemus. Branagh vents his anger, as a southerner defeated and crippled by the Civil War, but never explains it. And Hayek bats her eyes and show off her cleavages (yes, plural).
Kline does get some extra screen time by doing a "Dave" as President Ulysses S. Grant. But even an executive order won't pull together what had promised to be a solid piece of entertainment.
The Mask (1994)
Wild, cartoonish fun with Jim Carrey
I don't know how anyone could see this film and not love it. Much as Michael Keaton did with Beetlejuice, Carrey maniacally brings alive the role of Stanley Ipkiss, a down and out loser, who is transformed into a cartoonish superhero once donning a magical mask. Ipkiss uses his newfound powers to woo the heart of Tina (Cameron Diaz) and save the city from an evil gangster. Although Diaz is totally overshadowed by Carrey, his dog and the wild special effects, she still makes an impression. The clever story line is a perfect fit for Carrey's off-the-wall humor. The movie moves at a nice clip with lots of funny little moments to keep you smiling.
Growing Pains (1985)
Change the channel
Ugghh! Another "Family Ties" ripoff from the 1980s. Cameron, taking character cues from Justine Bateman's airhead Mallory, is obviously used as the hunk to attract young female viewers. This series had a few (and I mean few) good moments, but mostly just drifted along.