Aldo-9 Reviews

Alley Cat (1984)

It's fine.

[8/10 · 6 July 2021]

A surprisingly decent film. Not quite a vigilante film, not quite a rape/revenge film. Alley Cat is just kind of all over the place: it's part martial arts movie, part romance, even part women's prison movie. It doesn't really add up to a satisfying whole, but it's never boring, and has copious amounts of nudity (if that's your thing).

Savage Streets (1984)

They don't make them like this anymore.

[10/10 · 30 March 2021]

Typical revenge flick: Someone (in this case the main characters deaf/mute sister) is brutally raped by a gang. The sister vows revenge and murders them in grisly fashion. If you think I just spoiled the movie then you don't know this genre too well.

Thankfully there's a lot to prop up the simple plot: Linda Blair is pretty good as the main character who must process the grief of her sister's plight. The score is excellent too featuring some wonderfully cheesy 80s power ballads. Lastly the gore effects are pretty good too, even though this isn't really a "horror" movie in the traditional sense, the kills are at least played straight for the most part.

As for what my title alludes to: the whole trope of rape being the catalyst to spur the main character into action is certainly a distasteful one. But for anyone who was around in the 80s (and 70s) it was one that was used far too often.

Belly of the Beast (2003 Video)

Seagal's Taken.

[8/10 · 6 March 2021]

The thing about Seagal's later DTV efforts is you can't compare them against his theatrically released films. And on that merit, this is a good film. Seagal plays an ex CIA operative who must travel to Thailand to rescue his knapped daughter.

The plots not all that original, and the acting is all over the place (Seagal is bland, the rest of the cast is decent). The stand out are the are the action sequences and the fights. The director is good enough to mask the fact that Seagal does very little of the actual fighting.

Again, don't compare this to the likes of Under Siege, or even Half Past Dead. But compared to some of the later stuff he's done, this is high quality. Worth seeing if you like this sort of thing or are a diehard Seagal fan (as I am).

InuYasha the Movie 2: The Castle Beyond the Looking Glass (2002)

It just doesnt get any better than this.

[10/10 · 20 March 2004]

The movie opens with the be all end all battle between Inuyusha and the gang, and Naraku. After Naraku's apparent death, the gang more or less split up and go there seperate ways. But when Kagura (the wind demon that has those cool fans) and Kanna (the little girl with the mirror that steals souls) conspire to raise a demon who plans to stop time. Inuyasha, Kagome and all the rest must come together to stop her.

Any more would be giving away things, and I don't want to do that But I'll just say this, a lot more happens than ever happend in the show, and Kagome and Inuyasha even share a kiss. This is the second movie in the series of movies and it's worth finding, though I don't doubt it will be released here in the states soon by the same company who's distributing the series.

I cannot stress enough how awesome this movie is, easily bests any american action movie made in the last ten years.

Oh yeah, I'm also obsessed with Anime, so my review is a little biased

Puddle Cruiser (1996)

Not necessarily the funniest BL movie, but my favorite.

[10/10 · 29 February 2004]

Before I get into the review, it's necessary for me to explain the summary. Super Troopers is a very funny movie, though I find Club Dread funnier, but I think Puddle Cruiser has the best story and is the best made film of the three. Now on with the review:

I love romantic comedies, and the fact that this movie is a romantic comedy (though not in the conventional sense, is great. Each member of Broken Lizard is great in this film, though I particularly love Eric Stolhanske as Freaky Reaky, he's just a fun character and easily on the level with Farva from Super Troopers, another character who is just out there and weird. Heffernan and Soter are great as Grogan and Matt, the two characters that set this story into motion. They are the comic relief of this movie and they pull it off nicely.

Jay Chandrasekhar plays the best friend character of the movie and it's always great to see Jay, since I know he must really be talented cause he's able to direct while acting in the movies, which is a treat (I get a kick out of actor directors for some reason).

And finally, we get to the main character. Felix, played by Steve Lemme. This character is so far removed from Mac in Super Troopers, and even Jaun in Club Dread that you'd almost mistake them for different actors. Hell everyone in Broken Lizard is able to play completely different characters that if you didnt know all three movies were made by the same people, you might think it was five different actors in each movie (except for Paul Soter, as much as I like him he doesnt seem to change much from movie to movie).

Super Troopers (2001)

Broken Lizard may very well be the next "Kids In The Hall"

[10/10 · 7 August 2002]

Whats the hold up, give these guys a tv show and lets get laughing!

Seriously though, this has to have been one of the funniest movies I have seen in a very long while. The first 10 minutes were a bit slow however, I thought I was gonna be in for a disapointment, but I was wrong!

I could sum up the plot, but any number of these reviews do, and its really not important in a film like this, which is too funny. Each member of Broken Lizard is great, they are all good actors, and the script is very funny.

I have to say I laughed more during this movie than I did in Austin Powers in Goldmember.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

Mediocre film at best(especially compared to the exellent series).

[5/10 · 14 November 2001]

When I first saw this...way back in '92..I enjoyed it, it is a decent vampire flick with a cute twist in that the hero is actually one of the dumb blondes that usually dies.

Upon rewatching it though, and I know I shouldnt compare it to the series, it comes off even worse. I think Kristy Swanson is ok as Buffy, and Donald Sutherland is awesome as her watcher, but other then that the film stinks. Pike is a dumb character, the evil Vampire is laughable, and the ending lacks any kind of climax. I'll still buy it on DVD cause it is from Joss(even if he was rewritten).

Scary Movie 2 (2001)

A sequel thats better then the original.

[10/10 · 5 July 2001]

First let me tell you about the original..I thought it was dull boring and not that funny.

With that out of the way, I loved this one!!

The opening sequence alone is the worth the price of admission. Anna Farris is a goddess in this film, she is so hot, not to mention a great actress(really? Why hasnt she been in more mainstream films?).

Sure there is a choppiness to the film, and not all the jokes work, but this is still better then half the crappy comedies out there. And like I said before, better then the immensly lame, first film.

Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV (2000)

The best Toxic Avenger movie since the first.

[10/10 · 1 March 2001]

Thats not saying much, since I havent seen part 3, but man, this movie is awesome. From the opening where they apologize for the horrible part 2&3, to the ending where Toxie gets p***ed at Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD(I wont say why, youll have to see the movie).

The gist of it is: While saving the Tromaville school for the very special, Toxie accidently gets sent to Amortville(the exact opposite of Tromaville), and Noxie(Toxies oppisote) gets sent to Tromaville. Thats just the tip of the iceberg as many many more things happen, including a cameo by the original Melvin Mark Torgl.

Now onto my review. This movie is awesome, Terror Firmer was kick ass, but this movie is funnier in every area then Terror Firmer was(though Terror Firmer was grosser). One of the things you can always count on Troma to do is to have social messages hidden in there films(yes its true, they do). From Abortion to violence in the media, this movie has a lot of hidden social messages. David Mattey does very good as both Toxie and his evil doppleganger Noxie, I hope he's asked back for Toxie part 5(if there is one, heres hoping), this movie is also filled with many spoofs of recent movies as well as real life situations. From Star Wars Episode 1, to the Matrix, and covering real life. The Columbine massacre and the dragging of the black man in Texas(those latter two instances may offend a few). Of course a Troma film is't complete without lots and lots of gore and Citizen Toxie does not disapoint either, although the copy I was watching is not quite finished so the sound was not quite up to par, but that will be fixed once it comes out. Also that really kickass Toxic Avenger song from the trailer was absent from the film so I hope that gets put in as well. Also Corey Feldman does appear in a rather humorous scene as Sarah's personal Doctor.

Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989)

My favorite of the trilogy.

[8/10 · 2 December 2000]

Part 1 does have its moments, but its overly dull and hard to sit through. Part 2 is actually the best over all film of the three, but this one is my favorite. From the opening scene when Angela runs down Maria in the Alley I knew I was in for a good time.

Others have said this film is the least gory, and I dont deny that, but the sheer inventiveness of the killings, and Angela's wisecracks more then make up for the lack of gore. My favorite death would have to be Riffs, just because I love that rap tape that Angela has him play before she kills him. The ending is also pretty good, others have said its weak, but I have to disagree. I also like the way Angela doesnt die(as she did in the original cut of the film), which can pave the way for SC 4.

In closing, a great film, if you loved the other 2, definately see this one, if you werent too fond of part 2, but love part 1, you may not like this film as much.

Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988)

Best of the trilogy from a technical standpoint.

[10/10 · 2 December 2000]

My second fav.(3 being the best) this is the film that introduced me to Angela Baker and her cheery killings. From the opening scene where Angela clubs a fellow camper with a tree branch, I knew I was in for something different. This movie rocks, you dont even need to see the first to enjoy this one. Besides, the first one is not nearly as good as this one. Pamela Springsteen is so much better then Felissa Rose in the role as Angela. This film alone made me a fan of hers. Wish she was still doing movies.

Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Skip it and go straight for the sequels.

[4/10 · 2 December 2000]

While not overly bad, this film is dull and badly acted. Not that the sequels are "Gone with the Wind" in comparison, but they are much better then this one. A few good moments a great song(Angela's theme) and a good ending do not a good film make.

Fast Food (1989)

A great little film from the 80's.

[10/10 · 30 November 2000]

An enjoyable little film that might not be as well know as it should. One of the reasons I saw this film was because some of the cast(including Pamela Springsteen) where in this film and that sparked my interest. At first everyone told me this film was not going to be very good, good thing I didnt listen to them, because this film is one of the better teen comedies from the late 80's.

Before I start with the review, I'm going to summarise the plot for those that havent seen it.

Auggie and his pal Drew graduated from college and now have to find a job. Drew's cousin Sam owns a run down gas station that is the target of Wrangler Bob for one of his new fast food joints. Instead of selling, Auggie takes out a loan so they can turn the gas station into a fast food joint of their own. Auggie spikes the secret sauce with a powerful aphrodisiac, after that hilarity ensues. Thats all I'm saying, for the rest you must see the film for yourself.

Now for my review(unlike the summary this does contain Spoilers, you have been warned).

Don't listen to critics, this is a really funny film, eact actor in the film gives a great performance. The direction from Micheal A. Simpson is great and I thinkg Simpson could have been a big director, but the things that he's done aint that bad either. The film does get a bit bogged down in end with the courtroom scene and never quite picks up after that, but since the films about over anyway, its a minor flaw. My favourite part of the film is when they catar a sorority party and unleash the burgers on the crowd(the party consists of stuck of rich kids, and my favourite actress: Pamela Springsteen. Not much of a review, but thats my thoughts on the fillm, it is a bit hard to find(I had to purchase it online), but if you can find it, I definitely recommend seeing it.

The X Files (1998)

None X-Philes might be lost...

[10/10 · 16 November 2000]

Since I've been with the show since '95, this movie made perfect sense to me, to a casual movie-goer? They might be somewhat lost.

I rated this movie a 10, but its not wihout its flaws(what movie isnt, right?). First off, as another reviewer pointed out, this film is more a continuation of the story of the show then a stand alone film. Which hurts its chance of being the blockbuster it should have been.

Still, this is a good movie, every character from the series is used(except for Krychek, but thats forgivable). I like Martin Landaus character, I loved the scenes in the near the end, and the scenes in Dallas(even if they were horribly innacurate(hey, I live 40 miles from Dallas, I should know)). Still, I cant wait for the next one.

Thunderball (1965)

Forget Goldfinger, this IS the best Bond film.

[10/10 · 14 September 2000]

Quite simply the best Bond film ever. Goldfinger may have had the memerable villians, but in this one, everything is memerable. From the opening sequence with the rocket pack, to Spectres high tech meeting room(which was later copied in Austin Powers) and the stolen nuclear weapon plot, which was repeated in several Bond films to come. Connery was at his best in this film(even though at this point, he was beginning to tire of the long shooting schedules), the gadgets were in great surplus, but werent yet oversadowing the character of Bond, and the action sequences were superbly staged and shot.

The film does however get bogged down during the theft of the vulcan, and later in the climatic battle between Largo's men and the navy. Still, these shortcomings dont ruin the film from being the best Connery film.

Just so you know my tastes in Bond films, heres my top five: 1. Thunderball 2. From Russia With Love 3. On Her Majestys Secret Service 4. Licence To Kill 5. The World is Not Enough.

The World Is Not Enough (1999)

The Best Brosnan Bond film.

[10/10 · 2 September 2000]

After seeing TND, I was seriously considering not seeing this one, but since it was a Bond film, and I'm a Bond fan, I saw it.

Warning, My analysis may contain some Spoilers.

It is simply put, the best Bond film since Licence to Kill. I love the direction Pierce is taking the character, Bond is supposed to be a cold blooded assassain. The pre-credits sequence does go on a bit long, but its pure Bond all the way. After falling from the ballon Bond actaully hurts himself, and this affects him throughout the rest of the film(a nice touch). Many people complain about Renard and his lack of screentime, that would be a valid argument, IF HE WAS THE VILLIAN! Elecktra King is the villain and the first female villian the Bond series has had.

Now heres what I did'nt like:

Even after slowing the pace down from the last one, the film still feels a bit rushed. Bond never takes the time to eat food, or gamble.

The series still has'nt retained that travelogue feel either, the last film to achieve that was FYEO way back in '81.

Now if the producers can keep this up and really try with the next film, I think Bond 20, released in 2003(yes, we have to wait a bit longer for the next one) is going to be a really groundbreaking film. Thanks to this one, I can look forward to the next one with the knowledge that Bond is going back to its roots.

GoldenEye (1995)

A good, but not great reintroduction to Bond.

[8/10 · 2 September 2000]

After six years of waiting, Bond fans would go to see anything with the character of Bond, and they did. As my summary states, this film is passable as a Bond film(definately better then TND)but gets bogged down in the middle during the theft of the Goldeneye. Brosnan's performance is servicable, but we really wouldnt see his take on the character until the recent TWINE. With some good set pieces and interesting characters, this film barely succeeds as a Bond film. If you want to see a good Brosnan film, see the best: "The World is Not Enough"

'Weird Al' Yankovic: The Videos (1996 Video)

A great collection(if you own a DVD player).

[10/10 · 31 December 1999]

There's not much to say about this, except that it features every Weird Al video up through his title sequence in Spy Hard. Since it's on DVD the picture quality is great, the music is clear and the menu system is easy to navigate. Like I said earlier though, this collection is only on DVD, so if you don't have a player yet, your missing out.

Sex Files: Alien Erotica (1998)

A clever spoof of X-files.

[8/10 · 27 September 1999]

OK, so clever isn't exactly the word I'm looking, but this movie was able to hold my interest(something most adult movies don't usually do). The plot was also pretty good: An alien comes to Earth to find it's mate it was separated from four years earlier. Being a fan of the X-files made this movie all the more fun to watch, the women weren't bad either.

Wild Wild West (1999)

What a waste of talent.

[1/10 · 15 August 1999]

Any one of the Roger Moore Bond films had more class then this tripe. Kevin Kline is horribly under used, so is the wonderful Salma Hyack. Will Smith(who is becoming more and more annoying) finally proves that he should of stayed with Bad Boys(his only great film). The effects in the movie are nothing to right home about, and the action scenes left me bored. Just more proof that the average film goer doesnt give a damn what they see, I wish Hollywood would realize that special effects and a few name stars does not make a good movie. Do not see this!

Lethal Weapon 4 (1998)

Plot does matter.

[2/10 · 15 July 1999]

Sure I like an action film just as much as the next guy, but I also like another thing, a thing I like to call plot. The first 3 Lethal Weapon films were great on action and plot, unfortunately this one has niether. Another downfall was to many characters, everyone drug the film down. Sure Jet Li was a magnificent villian, but what good is he if he's in a film this bad. The action in this film left a lot to be desired, number one had the breathtaking fight between Mel and Garey Busey, number 2 had the awesome car chase at the beginning, part 3 had the scene set in the hockey rink during a kings game, this movie has no memorable scenes, and the attempts at humor are pathetic. One last thing, why did Riggs have short hair.

Penn & Teller Get Killed (1989)

Why haven't they made more?

[10/10 · 11 July 1999]

I got this movie for my 18th birthday, and it is a very good movie. Penn and Teller should make more movies like this. To bad it didn't make a lot when it was released, now the only way I can see them is watching thier magic shows. The ending of this movie caught me completely by surprise, I just can't describe how much I love it, I think I'll watch it again.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

Good, but not as great as most people say it is.

[7/10 · 23 May 1999]

I was brimming with excitement when the line Episode 1 came on, and all throughout the movie I was excited with the visual effects and the awesome lightsaber duels. Not as great as Empire (the best Star Wars ever) or the original, but a tad better than Jedi(even though I like that one too. Definitely sets us up for the second movie, which I'm sure will more then make up for this movie's shortcomings.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)

The sequel will be better.

[10/10 · 19 May 1999]

Never the less, the original is funnier than hell. The real star of the movie, though, is Dr. Evil, and all his henchman. Every one they do is funny, Austin is funny but the real stars are the villains. This movie never gets old, even after the umpteenth viewing, I still laugh at Dr. Evil's schemes, he is truly an original character(even though he is based on Donald Pleasance's Blofeld from YOLT).

Leonard Part 6 (1987)

Not that bad.

[11 April 1999]

I guess I'm in the minority here by saying: I absolutely loved this movie. The music is wonderful, the acting is top notch and the plot (while silly) is perfect for the film. I saw this when it first came out, and I loved it then too.