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Reviews
The Big Hit (1998)
Good and Silly
Nobody will ever mistake this film for Shakespeare, but it's got something. True, the car scene is ridiculous (although any car enthusiast will tell you that the yellow car Melvin drives is a Trans Am, not a Camaro), but the timing of the film is-- well, pure Grosse Pointe Blank. Where GPB works subtly and gives us an amoral antihero trying to pretend to be good, The Big Hit gives us Melvin Smiley, a basically good guy who tries, and occasionally succeeds, to be bad.
Running gags like the kidnapping victim who keeps getting away, the turncoat "friend" who just won't die (played with wonderful reptilian zeal by Lou Diamond Phillips), and Elliot Gould's "prune juice," the nasty video store clerk (reminiscent of the "two dollars" kid from "Better Off Dead," and Bokeem Woodbine's love affair with his hand, keep the whole thing fun.
This movie will never win an Oscar. Y'know what? Man cannot live on Oscar-winners alone.
And it beats the heck outta Batman and Robin.
America's Greatest Pets (1998)
Sure, watch this one for the pets. Uh huh.
C'mon. You know that every male out there (and some females, probably!) is watching this show because of Ali Landry, the only girl on the planet who can make eating Doritos look like flirting. *Drool*
Sorry. Just the dawg in me, baby.
Earth: Final Conflict (1997)
Decent storyline. Good effects. Terrible characters and script.
I don't mind this show. It's sort of like Sci-Fi Muzak. I like the idea that aliens can have an ulterior motive for befriending us, but still aren't totally evil.
But do they have to be so darn fey and pretentious?
I really think D'on and his friends (St'eve? F'red?) need to quit looking down their noses at us barbarians, and just put more of their female human assistants in those nifty tight vinyl costumes! ("Earth: Vinyl Conflict," anyone?)
Also, please work on the lines a little bit, and give Lili Marquette a little more to define her character. All we've got so far is a bundle of skills (pilot, marksman, butt-kicker) and no real background.
Of course, I may have missed this episode. E:FC suffers from "B5 syndrome," where if you miss an episode, you might as well give up the show. If you miss an episode, you CAN'T follow the plot.