Change Your Image
grub-2
Reviews
Holy Terror (2002)
What a waste of my time.
"Let's make a direct-to-video movie where we can show some boob, a bit o' blood and lens-flare effects!"
"Hmm.. we need to fit in a Ouija board for cheap suspense."
"Good idea. Oh.. blood, we NEED blood. Maybe a girl in a shower? We could focus on her chest for far too long then have her smear blood on herself!"
"Great idea! How about an anti-hero who won't take off his sunglasses?"
"We're almost there.."
Ta-da! You have Holy Terror. Anyone that voted 10 on this must be involved with the production and trying to sandbag the results. I was laughing out loud throughout this schlock.
Horror (2003)
Why was this trash made?
I like horror movies. Don't let the title mislead you, this was not horror it was CRAP. A van full of losers escape from rehab and end up being pursued by bad visions, some evil folks and a Big Black Goat That Is Supposed To Scare You.
Slamming doors, horrible done "evil" pumpkin heads and an entire cast of characters you won't have a shred of empathy for.
I've seen worse, but not much.
xXx (2002)
So much cheese you'll be constipated for weeks.
Yet another movie with a young, hip star trying to displace James Bond from the action hero throne. Way off target. "Vin Diesel" (nice stage name) looks like a drooling inbred with camera shots that, I presume, are to be introspective. He just stands there breathing through his mouth like so much trailer trash.
Give it a rest "Vin". Maybe worth renting but not worth the price of admission.
The Mangler 2 (2002)
Worst movie I've seen in ages
WHY WAS THIS MOVIE MADE?!
Is Lance Henriksen having financial difficulties? How did he get roped into this misguided mass of crud?
SPOILER ALERT:
Computer-savvy girl puts a virus into the new school computer. Computer goes bananas and somehow gets the power to move wires and cables on its own. It can also move objects not connected to the network (freezer doors, for example)
Girl goes into Rambo-Mode (read: "Slow motion with crappy music to make her look reaaallly threatening") and wastes the computer.
The End.
There, you'll never have to endure watching The Mangler 2.
High Points: Ejecting the DVD.
Low Points: Terrible music, the belly on that blonde girl, the acting.
The Cell (2000)
sniff sniff Is that cheese I smell?
I really REALLY wanted to like this movie more than I did but even Vincent D'Onofrio's great performance couldn't boost my rating above a 4.
The Cell seems like two movies woven into one. We have the "real life" drama of a sadistic serial killer and the FBI agents hunting him down. On the other hand we have Jennifer Lopez playing a psychologist that has spend 18 months trying to communicate with a billionaire's comatose son.
So far, so good.
The movie falls off it's tracks and just can't get back to speed after they take the killer into custody.
To sum it up: take the best parts of Seven, The Matrix, and Altered States. Mix well, dilute to a weak 25% solution and you have The Cell.
Maniac (1980)
Gore galore
If you're looking for gore; this is the film you want to see. Joe Spinnel plays the killer wonderfully in this blood soaked gore-fest. It's unfortunate that he died of a heart attack in 1989 before finishing work on what was rumoured to be Maniac 2.