genius-15 Reviews

Black Rain (1989)

A hybrid of The Yakuza and Lethal Weapon

[5/10 · 21 October 2013]

What could be a more flattering gift to the world's second most prosperous nation than Nick Conklin? He rides a motorbike, awkwardly struggles to master using chopsticks, pronounces Sato as Sate-Oh, and instructs his veteran Japanese counterpart with lines like "sometimes you have to go for it!" Black Rain is one of the very few legitimate explanations foreigners have for being concerned about arrogance in America. Japanese are characterized as by-the-book squares who immediately allow impersonators to snatch someone on their most-wanted list right from under them. Luckily, two rough-mannered New York buddy detectives, one of whom later admits to being "crooked", help teach those Osaka keystone cops how it's done---American style!! I enjoyed the cinematography of Japan's bustling metropolitan scene and peaceful rural setting, but isn't that what the Travel Channel is for?

Erin Brockovich (2000)

Dubious real-life situation lends itself poorly to the big screen

[14 January 2003]

Let's say for a moment that Pacific Gas and Electric actually poisoned a community's water supply to "enhance shareholder value." Is there really anything inspirational about a film that chronicles such an event? I would join the chorus of just persons demanding that each victim receive a large monetary sum in addition to effective medical treatment, but not jump for joy at a film exploiting the tragedy. Especially when the star of the film is...Julia Roberts??? Her grossly irritating performance was enough to roil even Ms. Brockovich herself, and I can see why. Yet plenty of cinemagoers appreciate that level of acting, and if you're among them, then this will certainly tickle your fancy. Keep in mind, however, that numerous independent reports have refuted Ms. Brockovich's claims of environmental toxicity as total bogus. Yet she received a larger multimillion dollar settlement from PG&E than did a number of the supposedly afflicted litigants. There is no shortage of corporate villains in the USA who deserve to be chastised, but it seems this film furthered the blame of the wrong people.

Rising Sun (1993)

Attempts to racially balance a bestselling story clutter it instead

[13 January 2003]

Or were the producers merely following the formula of late 80s/early 90s action movies and television (Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, Walker Texas Ranger) by portraying the combination of a white cop and a black one as some sort of novelty? Besides watering down Crichton's criticism of Japanese business practices, the screenwriters seemed determined to step up their racial cautiousness by portraying John Connor's partner, Smith, as a black man. There's nothing really outrageous about that either, but a black cop who wears a beige suit accompanied by an orange shirt and uses his ties with the Los Angeles ghetto gangs to elude Yakuza-like thugs? I welcome that sort of entertainment in an Eddie Murphy or Chris Tucker movie, but it's totally out of place here.

Heartbreak Ridge (1986)

Standard Eastwood TBS fare

[1 December 2002]

As more than a few observers have noted, USMC Recon is a creme de la creme fighting unit, on par with any ultra-selective military branch you can imagine. They simply do not accept goofballs. Tom Villard, Boyd Gaines, and Mario Van Peebles may be fitting choices for Porky's or One Crazy Summer, but certainly not a hardcore combat picture. Still, the gravest technical errors can be overlooked if brilliant storywriting or performances warrant doing so, but is either evident here? Clint deserves credit for amusing audiences as the rock-hard drill instructor, demonstrated by his "I've drank more beer, pi**ed more blood, and banged more qui** than all you numb nuts put together" tirade. His acting and directing methods, however, tend not to change much from film to film. I remember watching Heartbreak Ridge on TV and confusing its slow-moving battle footage with that of The Eiger Sanction, while having dreaded flashbacks, in the wake of the obligatory Eastwood hick-town bar scene, of Every Which Way But Loose.

Black Hawk Down (2001)

Unoriginal depiction of blood-and-guts combat doesn't tell the full story

[11 November 2002]

Let's face it, Jerry Bruckheimer's films about military life are not known for being accurate or innovative--note Top Gun, Crimson Tide, and of course the syndicated tv show Special Ops Force. Ridley Scott's GI Jane and Gladiator haven't been much better. Hence, Black Hawk Down's saturation with cowboy imagery and gung-ho catchphrases can be expected. What viewers might find disappointing is that all of the lessons taught by the Battle of Mogadishu, most importantly our failure to learn from the past, end up taking a back seat to appropriate but overemphasized gory footage. When General Thomas Montgomery (whose name is not mentioned in the film) is denied by Washington the sufficient resources to enact this mission, does he risk angering the top brass by refusing to accept supervisory responsibility unless his demands are met?? Of course not. Instead, Ranger Task Force Leader General Garrison is ordered to send troops into harm's way from the safety of an office bunker. Critics of this "going along to get along" trend also consider it to have seriously undermined our efforts in the Vietnam War. Even if we can forgive that, why does the film neither mention the previous seven missions in Somalia conducted by Garrison nor explain that they were all identical, giving the enemy plenty of insight to our methods? If the writers didn't want to be political or point fingers, maybe they should have just constructed an entirely fictional street battle. Instead, they decidied to present an incomplete picture of what happened on 10/3/93.

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

The only feature in the series worthy of "blockbuster" consideration

[7 November 2002]

Brilliant story and action sequences are the result of everyone doing what they're supposed to. Lucas is handling set and story, not meddling in the dialogue or direction. Instead, he steps aside and allows a truly expert sci-fi screenwriter Leigh Brackett (with only minor help from more run-of-the-mill Lawrence Kasdan) and little-known but sharp director Irvin Kershner to deliver this absolute masterpiece. Take the film's dark tone for one. Every moment is a struggle against death for all of the protagonists, without the eager farmboy yearning to battle in the cosmos nonsense of its predecessor. And Yoda, good god! If there is one character that defines 80s cinema, who else could it be? "Great warrior, oh, wars not make one great." Adventure is certainly never in short supply here, demonstrated by some of the finest pursuit and dueling scenes ever to grace the screen. What really sets The Empire Strikes Back apart from its kin is its ending, where after being through what can be described without exaggeration as a living hell (even for the robots) the rebels take some time to recover and then prepare for the daunting challenge that faces them: rescuing their imprisoned comrade and defeating Vader and his emperor.

Lethal Weapon (1987)

Sour, rehashed blend

[28 October 2002]

This film starts out as a cowboy cop thriller, with Detective Marty Riggs, who is suicidal (we know this because it's mentioned about every two minutes) and a special forces vet. "When I was 19, I did a guy in Laos from 1000 yards away in high wind. They told me maybe eight or ten guys in the world could have made that shot. Only thing I was ever good at." Okay, we get it, you're dangerous. Then he gets paired with Danny Glover. Now we can just smell the degeneration of this story into that of a buddy movie. A few irrelevant subplots go by (building jumper, dinner with the family) interspersed with a shootout, and then the bad guys decide that the best way to stop this invincible duo is through one of Glover's loved ones. So what we're stuck with in the end is yet another don't-touch-my-family flick that left me wishing I'd waited for it to air on television instead of spending 99 cents to rent the video at the 7-Eleven. Just three questions: Why does Mel Gibson appear as fitting a choice to play a war hero/martial arts expert as Mr. Rogers?? Why does Danny Glover's dialogue throughout the film sound like it was dubbed with Fred Sanford's voice?? (he was much more convincing in Witness). And finally, why, why is the CIA always portrayed in the movies as being a federally sanctioned band of drug runners???? Lethal Weapon gets 1 star out of four for originality, 2 for action, and 2 for acting.

Clear and Present Danger (1994)

Truth needs a what?????????

[23 October 2002]

Harrison Ford was a bad selection for this film, as many here have correctly pointed out. Equally revolting were the pretentious, often self-righteous references to Jack Ryan's "honesty". Example 1: "truth needs a soldier", the film's tagline. Or how about "Jack, you see things in black and white."---"Not black and white, right and wrong!!!!" (groan). Or my personal favorite: "That Ryan is such a boy scout." We get it, Jack doesn't lie, everyone else in Washington does. Now the combat scenes captured a bit more interest, but contained plenty of errors. The laser guided bomb dropped from a Navy fighter jet appeared way too fake (even though I didn't expect them to actually film a plane releasing munitions) and surely could have been improved. Also, wouldn't one expect the director of the FBI to have just a bit more security in a foreign country, particularly one as dangerous as Colombia, than three chevy trucks and two paltry motorbikes??? I won't go into the whole "give me maps of their locations, cut off their communications" bit, but even fiction has to recognize some boundaries of credibility. Two stars out of 4.

Moonlight Mile (2002)

Useless tearjerker

[18 September 2002]

Sure, we've got Dustin Hoffman as Ben Floss (who thinks of these ridiculous names???). We've got Elton John's somber "Someone saved my life tonight" music accompanying the trailer. Why must Hollywood insult just about every grieving family in America with this type of crap??? I didn't like Moonlight Mile--about as silly a title as the Hoffman and Sarandon's onscreen surname--the first time I saw it in the 80s when it was called Ordinary People and I sure as hell don't care for it now.

The Little Drummer Girl (1984)

Ideal treatment of terrorists

[14 September 2002]

Instead of "rethinking its policies" or "trying to understand the terrorists", the Israeli government, as accurately portrayed in this movie, has developed a novel approach to dealing with fanatical groups that attack civilians: blow them to smithereens!!!!! A truly no-nonsense film, with some beautiful Mediterranean locations, the Little Drummer Girl does come off as somewhat cheap in the technical sense (a larger budget could've ensured some truly dazzling action scenes, and lessened the dependence on dragged-out dialogue). Still, the authentic depiction of Mossad antiterrorism techniques (surveillance, baiting, seizure, interrogation, assasination) more than compensated for the occasionally low-budget climate. The acting was excellent, and though some may feel Diane Keaton looked too old for her role (a difficult claim to dispute when viewing the Oscar winner's sex scenes), her inadequacies were well concealed by brilliant performances from Yorgo Voyagis, Eli Danker, and Klaus Kinski. One of my favorite lines in the film was when Danker's character, Litvak, asks why they can't just seal off the German town where a bomber is hiding, and Marty Kurtz (Kinski) replies "This isn't the West Bank, Shimon."

The Deer Hunter (1978)

The Only Vietnam Movie Worth Watching

[30 July 2002]

On the right wing side, we've got John Wayne's Green Berets, Stallone's Rambo, and Norris's Braddock, which portray the Vietnam War with such jingoistic fervor that you'd think the American Revolution was merely the result of spilled tea. On the left wing side, we've got the Stone duo (Platoon and Born on the Fourth of July), as well as more forgettable flicks, in which U.S. soldiers in Vietnam do little more besides rape and butcher innocent civilians, smoke dope, and suffer numerous friendly fire deaths. The Deer Hunter blows em all away. Cimino's truly apolitical portrayal of the war, in which he shows the courage of men who fight for their country while also subtly questioning the horrors of the conflict itself, is not only original but also remarkably accurate. Even though many have angrily objected to the notorious Russian Roulette sequence, which may or may not have been a total fabrication (depending on who you believe, people who were there and testified to its existence or possibly biased journalists who assert that no sources exist to substantiate the claims), the real-life documented horrors of captured POWs were far worse. Shoving bamboo shoots under fingernails, stretching limbs with rope to the point of pain and often breakage, and other forms of NVA/VC torture were obviously too extreme for a mainstream film, and thus I am certain viewers are grateful for not having been exposed to such images. The initial roulette scene was my favorite in the film because of the bravery DeNiro's character exhibited under such pressure. It is definitely a unique moment in cinema history.

Gladiator (2000)

It is indeed a cliched ripoff of past Roman films, exacerbated by needless computer animation

[5 July 2002]

The story is just a cross between Ben-Hur (who is made a slave while his family is imprisoned by a naughty Roman bureaucrat) and Spartacus, the slave-turned-gladiator-turned-revolutionary. Fine, I can deal with that. But shouldn't a film about Roman times at least attempt to make viewers feel like they're in ancient Rome? Instead, we've got what almost appears to be a video game about colliseum fighting, with rapid moving, computer-generated adversaries slashing about and losing their heads almost out of theatregoers' sights. CGI has its place in the cinema I'm sure (though I have yet to see a film that utilizes it effectively), but not here. Watch it to pass time and for a very mild thrill, but expect no more.

Year of the Dragon (1985)

Nowhere near perfect, but still superior to the hyped "dramas" of today

[14 June 2002]

This was a good movie with plenty of boring and silly scenes. It was also better than the decent Robert Daley novel. Mickey Rourke's Captain Stan White was far more admirable as the talented nonconformist than Daley's Arthur Powers, a cliched bureaucrat. Additionally, this was one of the few films to be bloodier than the book it was based on. Ariane's Razzie Award for worst actress was undeserved; while no Judith Andersen, she played her part intelligently and was pleasing to the eye. Viewers who thought that Rourke's onscreen wife, Caroline Kava, looked like his mother were certainly not wrong, but even casting directors make mistakes. And the silly Deer Hunter-like music during their love quarrel, and repeated references to the Vietnam war, certainly illustrate that some filmmakers simply have trouble letting go. Cimino's legendary extravagence (which bankrupted United Artists via Heaven's Gate) does have its place in several breathtaking scenes, mainly John Lone's trip to the highland jungles of Thailand to visit Ban Sung (an amusing, younger caricature of real-life Yunnanese druglord Khun Sa). Needless to say, I thought this film was pretty good overall, especially in comparison to the crap that hollywood peddles left and right these days, so try it.

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

Knew it would be terrible

[13 June 2002]

Thats why I snuck into the theatre to see it (for only the third time in my life). I just couldn't rationalize contributing any further to Lucas's fat purse which he obviously loves far more than his long-gone artistic achievements. Even after getting in for free, I still left well before the ending--having done so only once previously. Now I understand that you can't "eat principles", but with over a billion dollars earned from his earlier films, it doesn't appear that our friend George is starving. The story is only marginally better than Phantom Menace's, however little that is saying, and nearly all of the actors deliver extremely weak performances. Christopher Lee, a notable exception, still shouldve turned this one down. His "Count Dooku" role was misconceived and seemed designed solely for the purpose of including a well-respected, Alec Guinness-like British star. Even more disturbing, despite the urgings of fans far more devoted than I, Lucas still hasn't transferred the directorial and screenwriting reins to more capable professionals (as he had the one-time good sense to do in Empire Strikes Back) and concentrate on what he knows: storywriting and props. So we're stuck with another messy, thrown-together flick whose sole purpose is to inflate its creator's already enormous bank account.

Dawson's Creek (1998–2003)

wake me up when it's over

[5 May 2002]

One could applaud the producers of this show for not initially duplicating the 90210-style formula of substituting annoying interpretations of social issues among teens for actual storywriting. However, they managed to come up with something even more irritating: grossly miswritten dialogue littered with poorly worded run-on sentences. One can indeed picture Kevin Williamson and his gay male thirtysomething associates shuffling through their thesauruses trying to link obscure-sounding words together. What's worse, the avoidance of issue-based themes was quickly done away with when the writers ran out of ideas. Soon we were dealing with Jen being "sexualized at a young age" or Jack coming out of the closet in an essay which his teacher sadistically read to the entire class. I much preferred the unrealism of Pacey's affair with his teacher or when Pacey later spits in another teacher's face and not only goes completely unpunished, but actually gets the man fired! (we all know it takes an act of congress to remove any teacher from their job). But since this a WB show, none of us should expect too much.

7th Heaven (1996–2007)

Unintentionally Satirical

[30 April 2002]

Family Meeting time!!!! Whenever the pious Camden family is threatened by the evils of today's world, be it rock concerts, red meat, staying out past 8 p.m., or premarital hand holding, there is nothing which they can't overcome with some peristalsis-reversing sermons by Father Camden and the wisdom of six-year old (actually 12 year old) Ruthie. This show, sort of a cross between Full House and Little House on the Prarie, appears to be an extreme version of the typical politically correct family program, but in effect pokes fun at the hypocrites who have been telling us all how we should live while they break their own rules on a whim. I don't even mind any of that, to be truthful. What gets me is that the acting in this show is sooo horribly bad. And whats even worse, the severe shortcomings of the main cast are almostly completely masked by the "guest stars" who seem unable to stop squinting at the teleprompter. Many commentators here have asked how a show of this ultra-low caliber could stay on tv for so long. Two simple answers: 1. It's on the WB Network 2. Putting cutesy-wutesy kids in any show will attract family-oriented viewers (usually the ones not allowed to have sugar or watch racy shows like Dharma and Greg or Reba).

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)

More air, less ice cream

[7 September 2001]

This film maximizes what I believe to be the fundamental flaw of the Star Trek series. That is, its excessive focus on embroidery and limited attention to story. About 30% of the entire series of tv shows and films revolves solely around organizational behavior and images (such as the starship enterprise in spacedock before its voyage and the crew in their armani-like uniforms). The rest is silly bickering and drawn out dialogue. In the case of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, a major weakness is the storyline. I won't give any of it away, but most viewers agree that the ending, in which "all questions are answered" was disappointing at best, and, at worst, an insult to cinemagoers. Even more ridiculous was the fact that this movie was released two years after the blockbuster Star Wars, which many of star trek's pseudointellectual fans regard as inferior because of its stunning action sequences (despite the brilliant writing and dialogue), but clearly prompted Paramount to rush out this expensive flic. And it looks like a $35 million (in much more valuable 1978 dollars) tv show. Captain Kirk has a large staff of officers on a spacious bridge, and it literally takes 10 minutes to carry out each decision "Mr. Sulu, one quarter impulse power..." "Aye sir, one quarter impulse power" or "Uhura, get me starfleet command." One wonders if its really progress that the 23rd century became so bureaucratic. This stands in sharp contrast to Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back, which definitely cuts through the red tape--Han Solo can get the millenium falcon at light speed and shoot half a dozen tie fighters before the enterprise even gets out of the garage. I can't give anyone a reason not to see this film, and its been played quite a bit on the TNN cable network, along with its slightly faster paced sequels, so give it a try if you're into sci fi movies.

Roswell (1999–2002)

Has some alluring features, but alot of dull and repelling ones too

[29 April 2001]

Like the other 100 or so irritating teenage shows on television, Roswell can certainly move your finger to the channel changer on more than one occasion. Still, it has some appeal to it. Jason Behr (who previously guest starred on Dawson's Creek as a cocky, but not too verbal rich kid)is a good lead actor for a series of this type, he's quiet and cool headed, unlike the male leads of other shows, such as dim witted Jason Priestly. Katherine Heigl, who plays Behr's alien sister, is the only attractive female on the show, and appears quite mature, despite the fact that the storywriters have given her some horrible lines. The rest of the cast really isn't all that interesting, particularly Shiri Appleby, who doesnt even deserve to be a cast member, let alone listed first in the title credits, and Colin Hanks, one of the dorkiest teens to occupy the small screen. Im not even sure why I like this show at all, but I do, at times. Unfortunately, Roswell is due to be taken off the air soon, after narrowly averting cancellation last year when fans sent caps of Tabasco sauce, a key sponsor, to the WB network in protest. Seems to me they could drink it clean out of the bottle on the doorsteps of the network's corporate headquarters and the show will still never see a third season.

Red Corner (1997)

Needs less hodgepodge and duplication, but watchable

[4/10 · 16 February 2001]

Richard Gere redoes his American Gigolo role as the framed sex guy when his attempts to bring a racy TV drama to China are met with political opposition and unscrupulous business conflicts. Ling Bai appears serious and tries to come across as professional. Shen's reasons for wanting to help Jack Moore (and the numerous times she risks her own life and well being) should have been more deeply explored, as well as Moore's past trauma that influences his actions. After seeing the advertisement for this film in 1997, i dismissed it as cheap material, but a television viewing changed my tune slightly because of at least some entertaining moments. Red Corner gets 2.5 stars (out of 4) from me for captivation, 1.5 for story, and 1 for acting.

The Crying Game (1992)

Didn't need "the twist"

[28 October 2000]

Someone here asked where all the money went in this 6 million dollar film. Well, my guess is the extraordinary acting talent (an extremely rare commodity in the cinema these days). Stephen Rea was brilliant as the rogue but sensitive Fergus, and was cheated out of his oscar (Al Pacino won it for his whining/screaming routine in scent of a woman). Adrian Dunbar was also excellent, accompanied by noteworthy performances from Miranda Richardson and Forrest Whittaker. Rather than the usual run of the mill syrupy drama, which usually lacks even a shred of originality or spontaneity, The Crying Game posseses a fresh storyline and a very clever dialogue. My main complaint is about the infamous subplot, which I felt was completely irrelavent to the story. While it gave the film added mystery and uniqueness, the so called "twist" probably alienated more audience members than it enthralled. Still, because of the strength of the film's acting and story, I found it easy to overlook. There was also a breach of realism during the "Dis Irae" sequence that I found somewhat silly, since the average moviegoer would have a hard time believing that the British Army could be so sloppy. Nonetheless, I am proud to recommend this feature, and advise prospective viewers not to be put off by its portrayal of alternative lifestyles.

Bull (2000–2001)

Appropriately named

[17 September 2000]

Or, to be less polite, missing four letters at the end. This tv series, whose premise has tremendous potential, is nothing more than a cheap soap opera poorly disguised as informative entertainment. While the last bull market of the 1980s resulted in an interesting box office hit, the most recent one only has this paltry concept to show for. The main fault of the program is that its production/direction staff was taken from Law and Order, an annoying bureaucracy drama, rather than a tv series dealing with a related topic. Although I find Bull to be completely unenlightening about the financial world (the writers dont even seem to know the difference between investment banking and commodities trading) there are several aspects of the show that kept me flipping back to it every few minutes. Stanley Tucci is very capable, and appears to be the only thing holding the feature together. Elisabeth Rohm isnt bad either, and certainly better than she was in Angel, a silly little stint. The rest of the cast ranges from poor to mediocre, however, and I dont understand why at least 10 minutes of every episode is devoted to Marissa's struggling lower middle class parents. Still, its not too late for this series to sharpen up, perhaps with some storywriters who have experience in the business (Michael Lewis for instance). Until then, I'll stick with CNBC.

Top Gun (1986)

Of the most pathetic genre

[26 August 2000]

You know the one I mean. The one that also spawned Die Hard, Speed, Iron Eagle, and The Abyss. A pseudo action movie with awful technical direction (see the goofs section, there are nearly 40 blatant errors listed) and a plot that could be used to dip nachos in. I don't really mind what many call "80s jingoism", the cold war was alluded to in nearly every action movie since the 50s. Why, however, do immature actors and out of touch story writers have to be allowed on the scene? "son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash!!!" or "I feel the need, the need, for speed!!!!" You can find better lines in a woody woodpecker cartoon. And miscast Kelly McGillis's middle aged looking character, Freud could write volumes on her onscreen relationship with Cruise. They shouldve just shown an aerial fighting special from the discovery channel, wouldve cost alot less and probably been more realistic and satisfying.

The Devil's Own (1997)

Inherently weak

[25 August 2000]

First problem with this film: The director. Alan Pakula specializes in courtroom dramas, he has little expertise in conducting action films, and has demonstrated his limited knowledge of both Ireland and the IRA. Second problem: Harrison Ford reprises his Presumed Innocent/The Fugitive/Jack Ryan characters in one ugly mess. Third: The entire Irish sequence is just a badly imitated version of every IRA film ever made. Moreover, the accents are awful, and the scenes grossly unbelievable (which would be alright if they were only entertaining). Since there were few Irish people influencing this film, its blatant lack of realism does not come as a surprise. And after The Crying Game, probably the best Irish film of the 90s, (whose success Columbia pictures was obviously desparate to mimic), Devils own is a pale, easy to spot dummy. If I want to see a cheesy show about the NYPD arresting a black youth for stealing condoms, I'll watch one of the many cop/courtroom programs on network television. But if im in the mood for an authentic IRA thriller, i'll stick to Stephen Rea and Adrian Dunbar in Jordan's 1992 masterpiece.

The Last of the Mohicans (1992)

Entertaining, but not terribly original

[9 August 2000]

I liked this movie, but it wasn't a masterpiece. The action scenes were enthralling, the locales exquisite, and the drama (particularly from Waddington, Roeves, Means, and Studi) solid. The forest battle scenes and the canoe chase sure were great to watch while on the treadmill. I also liked that the indians weren't all portrayed as peaceful, helpless victims of the evil white man, and that many of the whites were depicted as friendly and fraternal with the natives. My gripes? Well, the music for one, it was great in the opening credits, until i realized it was going to be replayed through the whole movie (much like the indiana jones and happy days themes). The story was kinda dumb as well, gotta get the colonel's two daughters to the fort, where they shouldnt even be, then help them escape amidst tragedy and death. Madeline Stowe was horrible as Cora, virtually every word out of her mouth was an annoying cliche (even worse was her phony english accent). Jodhi May appeared to be far more skillful, but her dialogue and screen time was scant in comparison. Daniel Day Lewis is a fine actor, but his scenes with Cora were equally iritating. I thought the ending was very poor, but not disappointing, since my expectations waned after the first hour. On the other hand, it wasn't a bad film, and though it deserved its mixed reviews, i'd advise those who haven't seen it to do so.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

the barrel's been scraped so many times it should have holes by now

[6 August 2000]

I liked the first star wars movie, and it was fine that Lucas felt the story should be told in two films. In fact, the second was even better in my opinion, far more intelligent and "realistic" from a thematic standpoint (had a terrific climax and denouement, but not the cliched "happy ending"). The third was geared too much for the series' juvenile audience, indicating the producer's excessive commercial emphasis. Now this one has been taken a step further, with a child actually being the star of the movie! As if that wasn't bad enough, we've got awful (yes, awful!) special effects; fake lightening, easily recognized computer animation, and electric springboards, which do not enhance the feature one iota. As for the story, it seems that Lucas spent years planning the technical aspects of the film and left the script for the last few days. Anakin Skywalker born of an immaculate conception???? (didn't know he was Jesus) Obi Wan Kenobi had a braided longlock??? A 20 minute replay of Ben Hur with Jabba the Hut in place of Pontius Pilate??? Even with that aside, why did Lucas have to steal ideas from star trek, subsituting boring political and bureaucracy nonsense for the high-powered action scenes which made the original films so famous? The sad fact is, George Lucas's entire career (which has netted him over 2 billion dollars, the largest amount for anyone in hollywood) is based on one film. The product tie-ins: toys, beverage glasses, t-shirts, breakfast cereals, reruns, video tapes, video games,...... have made him so wealthy that it doesn't pay for him not to produce an endless series of sequels, no matter how ridiculous they are.