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LordBling
Reviews
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Everything a comic-book movie should be
I just saw this film at an exhibitor's screening, and it was everything a comic-book movie should be. I had low expectations, since I thought the first film was decent, but left a lot of great opportunities on the table. But not part 2. Raimi has really stepped up to the plate with this film, and created something that will be loved by both the mainstream viewer, as well as the film geeks and comic geeks. He took time with the characters, and gave Peter, M.J., Harry, and Aunt May some quality character development. We even get more of J. Jonah Jameson, which is great for the comic relief (even if I can't stop calling him 'Schillinger').
The CGI is much better this time around, and Spidey no longer looks rubbery.
It is much more believable, and doesn't take you out of the moment at any point. Also, we're given a much better bad guy. Doc Ock is a fantastic villain, and much of this credit goes to Molina. He doesn't cheese it up at any point, and since Raimi gave us some time with him and his wife before the experiment goes wrong, we see that he's a kind man who wants to make the world a better place. Honestly, the film is dripping with pathos, and yet it doesn't feel like it's trying too hard to do so. And when we get to see how vulnerable Peter Parker is (wait until you see the subway car scene), we actually feel for the poor guy. This is the first comic-book film that got me to feel for the lead character, and I'm grateful for that.
I'm a big fan of the X-Men movies, but this film has a lot more heart than either of those. Thinking back, I can't remember a better comic-book film. Spider-Man 2 gave me everything I wanted, and more. Kudos to Raimi for finally hitting one out of the park. I almost can't believe it, but this one is a 10/10, and I cannot wait to see it again on 6/29.
Hulk (2003)
Underwhelming
Ugh.
If you're a comic book fan, you're gonna LOVE it. If you're like most other human beings, you're gonna find a lot wrong with The Hulk.
I think the reaction of the average kid will be mixed. Some will like it for the visuals (when there are any), but I think most will be bored through most of it. And some will be scared in a couple of parts.
Eric Bana was decent, but largely boring in the film, and it won't help people to connect with his character any more than they already would (or won't). Nick Nolte, Sam Elliot, and Josh Lucas all overacted more often than not. Jennifer Connelly was solid, and the only positive on the acting front.
The CGI was a mixed bag. The first two times you see the Hulk, it's at night and there are a lot of close-ups, almost to obscure things ... was the CGI 100% completed? Can't really tell in those. But the desert scene is very well done ... although the running animation looked choppy. And I have to agree with the Dallas Morning News ... "He looked like a green Pillsbury Doughboy." Especially when he's being hit with bullets ... it looks less like muscles and more like a green ooze. However, the entire desert battle was well-done, and should be what most people will refer to as their favorite part of the film.
There are a few plot holes in the final act, and from two friends of mine who saw it last night (in different cities) both didn't think they were plot holes, mainly because they're big fans of the comic series, and they just knew who the "Great Absorbing Man" or whatever the hell he was called. For most of us regular summer action Joes ... well, the final act is one big mess. And the other problems I had with it will wait until you've seen it, as they are scene specific.
For once, the early word on the internet was correct! One of the early reviewers said, "It won't matter what kind of prom dress they put on this pig..."
So, two final ratings: Comic book fans - 3 and a half stars The rest of the filmgoing public - two stars
I think the film will do between 75 and 80 million on opening weekend, because of the hype and the marketing has played to children more than they did in the beginning ... I mean, it looks cool to see him jumping miles and smashing. But I think the word of mouth will be lukewarm, and that will hurt the business throughout the rest of the term, especially with Charlie's Angels 2 coming out next weekend. A warning for the Hulk: Unless you count the over-acting, there is ZERO humor in it, so people will be ready for some humor to go with their action next week, and they'll also be ready for more action than thirty minutes out of a 138 minute film. So I think it's gonna finish around 200 million, and not the 300 or 350 that some are predicting.
Da Hip Hop Witch (2000)
My brain hurts
After watching this 'movie,' my brain hurts. If you attempt to watch it, you're taking your sanity into your own hands. It was shot on video, probably with a Sears beta-max recorder bought at a garage sale. It was 'edited' as if someone put the footage into a blender. It has ad-libbed 'performances,' including Eminem saying over and over again about how the witch putting her finger in his a$$, and Vanilla Ice looking like he wishes he could get cast in another Ninja Turtles movie. And yes, that IS Vanilla Ice. How's THAT for street cred? And it JUST WON'T END!!! It keeps going ON and ON and ON!!!!!
I had to watch this for my job, and I am seeking hazard pay from my employers. This could possibly be the worst film I've ever seen, and yes, I have seen Powder AND The Crow: City of Angels. I would've given this the rating it deserved, but IMDB won't let you give a 0.01 out of 10.
Swiri (1999)
Just another boring Hollywood wanna-be
SPOILER ALERT!!
Of course the girlfriend was the assassin all along! I'm getting really tired of movies acting like simple plot twists are these MAJOR REVELATIONS. The gun-action was second-rate (anyone who's seen a single John Woo/Chow Yun-Fat collaboration would agree in a heartbeat), and I think the director knew this, so all of the 'action' scenes were shot with shaky handhelds, in a half-assed attempt to scream out to the audience, "HEY!! LOOK!! SEE THAT MOVEMENT??? IT'S ACTION!!" And if I have to watch one more film that goes to the well with the bomb L.E.D. countdown timer, I'm gonna go Section Eight on some producers!!!!
This beat the 'mighty' Titanic at the Korean box office? I'd hate to see what would happen if a real action film hit their shores...
Traffic (2000)
As Flava Flav once said, "Don't believe the hype."
This film is seriously flawed and shame on so many of you for ignorantly praising it. Here are some of the problems with Traffic:
1. The cinematography is NOT innovative. Soderbergh stole the color scheme from his own Out of Sight (Detroit was shot in a metallic blue), and just because he shot it all with handhelds doesn't make it 'great.' If this film gets nominated for an Oscar for Best Cinematography, then The Blair Witch Project should've been nominated for the same award in 1999. He wasn't even consistent with how he framed some of the characters. 2. The points made in this film are made and made and made until the viewer feels beaten over the head. Much of the anti-drug dialogue felt like a third-string Dateline reporter wrote it. 3. Not enough time is spent with these characters for any of the events to matter to the audience. (SPOILER ALERT!!) And what motivation did Catherine Zeta-Jones's character have for putting a hit on the informant besides maintaining her upper-class lifestyle? We go from her not even knowing that her husband's business is legitimate to her taking control of a drug empire? Where's the transition time? The only character that I remotely cared for was Javier Rodriguez Rodriguez, and it's only because he's trying to do good with the money he comes upon.
I liked the plot in how the characters interacted, and when someone wasn't preaching about how easy it is to get drugs in America, the dialogue was decent. But I have to wonder what this film would've looked like if Soderbergh had made it before Erin Brockovich. Before that film (which I did like, by the way), he was an independent-minded filmmaker who made films that also appealed to the mainstream. Traffic is a mainstream feel that tries to appeal to an artsy crowd. One of the best movies of the year??? It's not even one of the best drug-based movies of the year.
6/10
Backstage (2000)
BORING
This 'documentary' sheds absolutely no light on what it would be like to be backstage during the Hard Knock Life tour. Granted, I wasn't there, but watching this film didn't make me feel like I was. And for a film like this, that's not exactly a compliment. The whole time I watched it, all I could think was, "What are they leaving out?" When it's all over, the only rapper you feel like you have some insight into is DMX, and that's mainly because he just talks about his dogs. A waste of time.
3/10
Billy Madison (1995)
An idiotic masterpiece
I love artsy films. The ones that most people accuse of being 'too slow,' 'too talky,' 'without any action,' et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But when it comes to comedy, you can't analyze it. It either makes you laugh or it doesn't. And this film makes me laugh like no other. Be warned, because this film is stupid. And I mean INCREDIBLY STUPID. But if you watch this for the first time and don't find a smile on your face when Billy plays dodgeball (or at most of the other random moments in the movie), then you shouldn't be at this web page anyway.
IT'S QUACKTASTIC!!
10/10
Forbrydelsens element (1984)
Requires multiple viewings
Lars von Trier announced his presence to the world with this stunning vision of a bleak future. I've now seen this three times and the only thing I'm sure of is that there is so much that will come out with even more viewings. It is unlike anything I've ever seen, or probably will ever see again.
9/10
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Good, but not THAT good
If it weren't for the great characterizations and performances, this film would've been a one-trick pony, and I wonder how well it would've stood out in people's minds otherwise. Plot twists notwithstanding, this would have been just another drama. Best Picture nomination? The Usual Suspects is ten times the film this is...
7/10
Requiem for a Dream (2000)
Stunning. Punishing. Beautiful. Unforgettable.
These are just some of the many adjectives that come to mind to describe this wonderful film. It is one of the most harrowing films I have ever seen. Never has a decent into the deepest layers of hell been so strikingly filmed. My only complaint is that the script itself is lacking in areas. The characters are given just enough to do before the slide begins (don't worry, that's no spoiler ... just look at the title of the movie), but while I appreciate when a director doesn't waste time, more time spent with these particular characters would have been appreciated even more. However, that's my only complaint. Visually, this is one of the most exciting films I've seen in years. The performances are sound, with Ellen Burstyn giving us an Oscar-worthy turn. The editing is especially incredible and should also be nominated (if the Academy has 1/4 of a brain between them all). But for as good as this film was, if Aronofsky gets his hands on a Godfather-quality script, I seriously don't think the film world would be prepared...
9/10
The Crow: City of Angels (1996)
Quite possibly, the worst film ever made
I would have to say that this is the worst film I've ever seen. I walked out of this, and I've never walked out on anything else before or since. I even sat through all of Powder (although it was mainly due to my being in awe of how bad it was)! A complete disgrace and a sore on the face of the original.
1/10
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Kubrick's finest hour
Arguments can be made for many of Stanley Kubrick's films being his best work, but I would have to say that 2001: A Space Odyssey is indeed his finest hour. Like many of his films (and I believe that Eyes Wide Shut will also fit into this category once people realize that it is about so much more than sex), it stands the test of time. Ground-breaking, wholly original, and completely deserving of the praise it has continually received.
10/10