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Reviews
Spring Break (1983)
Beer is like, uh............F@#kin' Great!
Welcome to Florida!
Maybe your last vacation was just working two jobs instead of three - now you are in Eff Ell Lay. It would be immoral not to pursue women, beer and that evil dude from the Unsafe Buildings Commission.
Actually, the guy from the USC was really the only hole in the script. Why did he choose to join those thugs after he did the bit that he was paid off for? The rest of the film was coherent, the acting suberb (was it? I kept getting distracted by the actresses) and the beer keep flowing right along with the storyline.
I especially liked the part where O.T. swims through the water with a knife in his teeth. Could Coppola have come up with such imagery?
Galaxy Quest (1999)
...and what you should know about my ship is .... (SPOILERS)
By far the best of the Star Trek series - an astonishing accomplishment when the expression "Star Trek" is not used at all. The story is remarkable. It is as if the "Galaxy Quest" characters are all slackers, ne'er do wells, children even, but when the moment arrives,they live up to and even surpass the characters that they played on that all too familar show that we remember (you do, right?) from the early 80's.
Insprired casting. SPOILER. Alan Rickman plays an actor playing an alien, who not only hated the character, but even more intensely hated the catchphrase that the character said, despite that that very phrase has kept the mortgage from being foreclosed for the past twenty years. And yet, when one of the aliens is dying in some pain, he realizes that the comfort that the alien wants is to hear the one thing that he hates to say. And he gives the catchphrase all that his character has.
SPOILER AGAIN (sorry) - And while the characters seem offended by Allen's character taking control (and why shouldn't they? This is teevee, not the Navy) close to the end, Captain Nesmith pulls off a stunt that a lesser space hero not only wouldn't have thought of, but certainly wouldn't have chanced.
I want to watch this film with William Shatner, but I figure he must have seen it a thirty or so times to see how it is really done.
Clifford (1994)
I found it fascinating...
I saw this film on a Peter Pan bus so I was a captive audience. However, I could not have taken my eyes off of it even if I were free to move about.
You see;
1) A car rolling up. They would have had to rent the car and pay for gas. This would easily cost ten dollars. Who, you wonder, would put ten dollars into this film?
2) A ring being handled by Clifford. Yes, it was probably a dimestore gimcrack costing a dollar. Who, you wonder, would put a dollar into this film?
3) Grodin mistakes two transvestites for real women (or maybe he is just super-polite). They are both wearing eyeshadow, the application of which must have cost a quarter. Who, you wonder, would put a quarter into this film?
The rest of the film is just as entertaining. Not just the script, but the coverage for the script would have just screamed "PASS!" to any reader.
Yet, the film was made and the greatest mystery in Hollywood was born.
Whoever created the rating system at IMDb clearly never saw this film as there is no mechanism for using a negative number as a rating. If I could have, I would rate it a -10 (out of 10) as a film, but the ancillary delight knowing that you have seen the nadir of comedy films gives it a solid 1 (out of ten).
All Saints Day (2000)
Had me hooked from the first frame
This film started off stupid and lost ground from there. Funny and not once did it tire. All Saints Day was as neatly constructed as a piece of fine furniture and just as much as a joy to behold. It is that avi raris in independent film - a laugh out loud (make that "scream out loud") movie. It doesn't try to be arty and depressing nor does it push an alternate lifestyle or an ideological agenda.
Each of the principal characters (with the exception of the mysterious "Jimmy") wind up worse off than they were at the beginning of the film. Hopefully, the creators will spare them a sequel and further misadventure.
But if the producers of All Saints Day offered the characters a sequel, would the characters take it?
Yes, because they are that stupid.