Another film released during the early 1980s mini boom in sword and sorcery movies, although this one's not indebted to the later CONAN THE BARBARIAN but rather a fantasy version of STAR WARS, complete with Jack Palance playing a villain with a Darth Vader-style helmet. It's tawdry stuff indeed, with a wooden hero lacking charisma, a paint-by-numbers quest narrative, cliched Dungeons & Dragons inspired characters, and absolutely pitiful action sequences. Sure, the cheesy FX are mildly amusing and the locations are okay, but there's nothing here for the genre fan to enjoy much of, apart from Bernard Bresslaw amusingly playing a giant.
Reviews
17,911 Reviews
247°F
(2011)
One where little happens
13 April 2024
I'm all for a good single location thriller, done right the genre can produce many a classic, but 247 DEGREES is anything but. This Georgian-shot cheapie involves a quartet of friends who indulge in some boozy late night antics and make their way into a sauna at a remote countryside cabin. All's going well until they find themselves mysteriously locked in, and it all goes from there...except it doesn't. This is a plodding, nothing happens type film which rapidly outstays its welcome and offers very little apart from bad acting and worse characterisation. The sauna itself presents no suspense or threat whatsoever, and the reveal of a slow-building mystery is utterly mundane. Stick with FROZEN!
Kong woo liu duen
(1985)
Not Shaw's finest hour
13 April 2024
PURSUIT OF A KILLER is one of the very last films that the Shaw Brothers studio made before they moved into TV production and became TVB. This one came out around the same time as HONG KONG GODFATHER, and while that one's a minor classic of its kind, this one's very much not. It's a fast yet slapdash kind of production, the sort of film that's not too worried about making sense and instead prefers to throw a hodge podge of ingredients at the screen. Lo Meng leads a band of mainland criminals pursued by Jason Pai Piao, but they go to prison and then the movie turns into a giallo-inspired kill fest. It's mildly amusing in places, but then I am charitable towards Shaw.
9 Souls
(2003)
Too plodding
13 April 2024
Another uninteresting and overlong cheapie from Japan. I was getting really into Japanese cinema at once, enjoying the highs of FISH STORY and various wacky time machine escapades, but they do make their fair share of clunkers too and this is such a beast. It begins with a prison break and then follows a group of lost souls as they tour the countryside, chatting and getting into danger. I was hoping for a RESERVOIR DOGS vibe here but it's another one of those films which goes on forever without much in the way of anything interesting happening at any point. There are a few familiar faces along the way, but they get lost amid the big, uninteresting cast of characters.
The Pale Blue Eye
(2022)
Lacklustre
13 April 2024
THE PALE BLUE EYE is another one of those disappointing novel adaptations to come out of Hollywood. This one's set in the 19th century so expect the usual grim blue-grey filter which sucks life out of the impressive settings and wintry backdrop and undoes a lot of the good stuff that the set dressers put togther. It's supposed to be a murder mystery, but with a bloated running time there's far too much sitting around and chatting and very little in the way of murder, except in the second half. The story is preposterous at times and the acting veers towards the histrionic, Bale's included, although Harry Melling is the best thing in this lacklustre tale.
Kick Boxer's Tears
(1992)
A fun action vehicle
30 March 2024
KICKBOXER'S TEARS is essentially the Hong Kong version of the Van Damme vehicle, and a hoot it is too. It begins off with Jackie's favourite bodyguard Ken Lo playing a kickboxer who tackles the awesome Billy Chow in the ring, except that dirty tactics end in tragedy. The focus then shifts to Moon Lee who goes on a mission of revenge. The budget is low but the action plentiful, particularly in the second half which wows with a series of energetic spectacles. Yukashi Oshima is a consistently welcome presence in such films and she wows in her brief fight scenes here, and the climax in particular is delightfully over the top.
The Beekeeper
(2024)
Another winner from David Ayer
30 March 2024
I find Jason Statham to be one of the more dependable action stars working today, although like everyone else he's made his fair share of stinkers. THE BEEKEEPER isn't one of them. It's another taut and well directed thriller from David Ayer, and it has a load of silly and preposterous nonsense in it about 'protecting the hive' and this and that which I didn't have the time for, but everything else works. After a brief but emotional set-up we're thrown into a high-stakes revenge odyssey with bone-crunching action and super-fast pacing. The action builds until a fine staircase climax which is topped by one of the fights of the year against a South African mercenary. Great fun!
Appalling
30 March 2024
I normally like weird Japanese cinema but not this time. FUNKY FOREST: THE FIRST CONTACT is an appalling anthology of short movies which take amateur to the next level, and what's most annoying about it is that it has no consistency, no overriding plot structure, no messages, just constant weak attempts at weird and wacky humour that fall short time and time again. From the excruciating overlong opening with the 'comedy' Japanese Morecambe & Wise to the bizarre animal suit segments and the random guitar-playing brothers, this is a patience-tester throughout and one that we actively hated and/or were bored by at an early stage.
Wacky stuff indeed
7 March 2024
BOMB DISPOSAL OFFICER: BABY BOMB is another wacky buddy comedy from Hong Kong coming out in the wake of the LETHAL WEAPON movies. This one's particularly noticeable for its bizarre, anything-goes style plotting. It begins with a kid being blown up in a supermarket and then moves into a kind of romantic comedy as best pals and colleagues Sean Lau and Anthony Wong end up having a young woman moving into their apartment, with the usual hijinks ensuing. There's little of the actual bomb disposal stuff here other than at the effective set-piece climax, but the humour is always wacky and fast-paced and the actors are lovable.
Totally Killer
(2023)
Middling
7 March 2024
TOTALLY KILLER is a film obviously trading on the success of those mildly entertaining HAPPY DEATH DAY movies and the one about Vince Vaughn's serial killer that followed them. This one starts off intriguingly enough before becoming a BACK TO THE FUTURE-style time travel story with the usual 1980s setting now that STRANGER THINGS has put that era in vogue. The problems with this one is that the plot feels a little hurried and wishy-washy, particularly the time travel device itself. The main character comes across as more annoying than charming, and the identity of the villain isn't exactly hard to guess.
Hidden Figures
(2016)
No dull moments
7 March 2024
An acceptable version of the classic book, given the Hollywood treatment with all of the sentimentality that naturally comes with that, but not too cloying or overpowering as it goes. This one boasts a strong female cast of whom Octavia Spencer is the stand-out, as is always the case in her performances. It's also interesting to see an older Kevin Costner doing a different type of role well, and his scene with a toilet sign is a stand-out. The film's backdrop and evocation of the 1960s always feels authentic and despite the running time and general slow realism of the pacing, there are no dull moments here.
The Fifth Floor
(1978)
It's not OFOTCN, but it'll do
7 March 2024
THE FIFTH FLOOR is a lower budgeted movie very obviously indebted to the success of the all-time classic ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST, and inevitably it's a far lesser movie. But that doesn't mean that it's not watchable, and I found myself getting into it in a fair way as I watched. This one's a female-led production in which a woman is drugged and ends up in an institute from which she can't escape. The cast is particularly good, with an ultra-sleazy Bo Hopkins supplying the menace and the likes of an endearing Robert Englund playing in support. The main actress inhabits the role well and there are no slow parts.
Leave the World Behind
(2023)
Unsurprisingly awful
7 March 2024
Another awful straight to streaming movie, and it seems to me that Hollywood is increasingly losing the knack of making genuinely involving and watchable films. This one is very similar to Shyamalan's KNOCK AT THE CABIN but even worse somehow, with an incredibly bloated running time and almost total lack of action and plot involvement making it a grossly dull viewing experience. A handful of dullish characters assemble at a house while the end of the world supposedly takes place outside, but for the entirety of the plot they're merely chatting. There's even some late on dancing which really annoyed me. Roberts is awful as ever, and a fun Kevin Bacon cameo isn't enough to change my rating.
Sakra
(2023)
Unforgiveable
22 February 2024
SAKRA is another labour of love from star and director Donnie Yen, and I wish he'd give up making them. This is one of those flabby, bloated wuxia-style movies that's all over the place. After a totally random back story we meet Yen's expert swordsman, a king of beggars type, who finds himself set up by unknown enemies and forced to fight for his life. The plot beats play out ridiculously here and the whole thing has a strong air of embarrassment about it. The action scenes are unsurprisingly dominated by less than effective CGI, despite which a few are quite exciting, but it all goes on forever at a slow pace which makes it feel like four hours. And the way it refuses to end is unforgiveable.
Don't Fool Me
(1991)
Don't watch it for the plot
22 February 2024
DON'T FOOL ME is essentially the Hong Kong version of TRADING PLACES, albeit with a plot far less delineated and far more muddled than in that Eddie Murphy movie. This one's notable for teaming up Tony Leung and Andy Lau, although the two have very different storylines which are kept separate for the most part. Of the two, Lau feels the more naturally funny: he has a talent for physical hijinks and a kind of effortless charisma that works a great. Leung's story, about gangsters and car racing, is more cliched, although difficult to dislike. The plot is all over the place but the jokes work and the supporting cast, including such luminaries as Teresa Mo, Michael Chan Wai-Man, Anthony Wong, Lee Hoi Sang and Shing Fui-on, is exemplary.
Kandahar
(2023)
Not bad for what it is
22 February 2024
KANDAHAR is an acceptable Middle Eastern thriller, not as good as Gerard Butler's other of 2023, PLANE, but quite watchable as a one-off. He plays a spy working in Afghanistan who finds himself pursued by numerous foes when it all goes bad during a mission. The film is overlong and drags at times, but it does build up a kind of gritty realism that many such movies lack, although that tends to evaporate in favour of all-out action at the climax. The chase narrative works well at times, even if the supporting cast are underutilised, and Butler gives his usual dependable rugged performance. Watch if it you like your thrillers with a little more depth.
The Warrior's Way
(2010)
Pure trash
22 February 2024
Amazing to see this trash getting a relatively high rating. THE WARRIOR'S WAY is a mindless B-movie, one of those shot on a greenscreen in the wake of 300's success, which attempts to mingle Western and Eastern tropes to no good effect. Our hero, the main actor from BROTHERHOOD and MY WAY making an unwise appearance in Hollywood, is the usual sword-wielding drifter who arrives in a desert town being tormented by Danny Huston's deranged soldier. Geoffrey Rush drags his reputation, Kate Bosworth gives an appalling performance as the token love interest, and the only good actor is Shaw veteran Ti Lung as a big bad. The CGI action is awful and the story so long-winded that you'll be bored long before the credits roll.
Saltburn
(2023)
Beautifully made
22 February 2024
I had no idea what to expect from this one. I'd heard mixed reviews beforehand, especially about it being a highly derivative film, and I've previously disliked Barry Keoghan when I've seen him in movies. However, I can report that I was blown away by this glorious slow-burning thriller and that Keoghan in particular wowed me in a way I haven't been wowed in a long time. It starts off deceptively simple, depicting life at Oxford in a realistic and engrossing way, before moving to a country house where the story gets really interesting. Part horror, part mystery, deeply psychological and beautifully shot, this is one of those films which just keeps getting better and better.
His Motorbike, Her Island
(1986)
Well directed, but something's missing
14 February 2024
HIS MOTORBIKE, HER ISLAND is another movie from the guy who brought us HAUSU, and so if you're looking for quirkiness then you've come to the right place. It's not quite up there with his best work, sadly, feeling both pedestrian and disjointed at times; the story is indeed very slight and seems to jump about all over the place. There's a rebel-without-a-cause backdrop and then a highly melodramatic romance, complete with lots of little offbeat moments that the director is well known for. The actors do their best with the little material they're given but their scenes do feel a bit stilted, and it's the directorial touches that make this interesting.
Rage
(1966)
A different kind of suspense
14 February 2024
RAGE is an engaging little suspense thriller with a south of the border setting. It stars a visibly aged Glenn Ford as a small town doctor who finds himself up against the odds when he encounters a rabid dog. Soon everything is spiralling out of control and our hero is up against the clock as the narrative picks up speed and races to a thrilling climax. The film is pretty low budget, it has to be said, and the first half feels a little stiff, with too much screen time given over to the sultry Stella Stevens, who looks good but adds very little of substance. Still, Ford's performance is very good indeed and the second half is highly suspenseful.
The Gallant Hours
(1960)
A different kind of war story
14 February 2024
THE GALLANT HOURS is a very atypical kind of WW2 movie from Hollywood. It's a biopic looking at the career of Admiral Halsey, who fought the Japanese in the Pacific War, and concentrating on perhaps the most stressful and dramatic time of his life. The film eschews the usual explosions and big budget battle sequences, so if you're looking for naval warfare you'd be well advised to seek something entirely different such as TORA! TORA! TORA! Where this excels is in the quiet character moments: a lot of it is, like TWELVE ANGRY MEN before it, concentrates on men debating stuff in a room together. Cagney is excellent and a youthful Dennis Weaver supports him well.
Lame comedy vehicle
14 February 2024
For some reason, Hollywood seems to associate fantasy with comedy. They can't make a pure fantasy film anymore without shoe-horning a ton of unnecessary jokes into it. I'm a fan of authors like Robert E. Howard and David Gemmell, extremely serious in tone, so have never enjoyed any of this goofy comedy stuff. And sadly this latest HONOR AMONG THIEVES is yet another lame comedy with a fantasy backdrop. The plot is paper thin, with a group of diverse heroes tackling the world's least imposing villain, and after about half an hour of setup it turns into the usual mindless CGI action spectacle, with little wit and less originality.
Sisu
(2022)
Does the job perfectly
4 February 2024
SISU is an excellent Finnish action movie whose only flaw is that the budget is too small. Imagine the carnage this guy could have wreaked with more money to hand! Still, we have to make do with what we get, and I think they've done an expert job with what they've got. This plays out as a WW2-era western, with a strong, silent, loan hero doing battle with a squad of Nazi goons headed by the typically excellent Aksel Hennie. The action is outlandishly gory and thoroughly enjoyable, the running time lean, the pacing tight, the narrative always creative and compelling. There's genuinely nothing to dislike about a film like this.
Badland Hunters
(2024)
Excellent!
4 February 2024
BADLAND HUNTERS is another excellent Korean action movie that makes rival Hollywood fare seem pathetic by comparison. This one's a tight and imaginative little narrative about a mad doctor, a RAID-style apartment complex of dark deeds, and a team of heroes intent on rescuing a kidnapped damsel in distress. Ma Dong-seok is one of my favourite actors working today and he gives another lovable, winning performance as the hard-punching hero who steps in when it seems all is lost. The action sequences are expertly handled and thoroughly exciting, with just the right amount of decent fight choreography and violence.
The Brain from Planet Arous
(1957)
Good FX at least
4 February 2024
THE BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS is a great title for a rather ordinary little B-movie science fiction flick from 1957. The story involves the titular floating giant brain, a wonderful special effect, which possesses a scientist and causes him to do evil as the narrative progresses. Luckily there's a good brain too to help fight back. This one's notable for the quality of its special effects: the brains look great, as does the creepy contact lenses worn by the main actor. The rest is very talky, understated, and low budget throughout, failing to build up much suspense as it all gradually unfolds. Average overall.
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