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Reviews
Titans (2000)
A Waste of Several Perfectly Good Waiters
This was one of the worst shows I've ever had the misfortune to see. I was paid to watch the pilot and I still wanted to demand the hour of my life back. This makes Small Wonder look like Masterpiece Theatre. Cop Rock would have beat it out for an Emmy. This show had it all, a contrived plot, wildly unbelievable situations and abysmal acting. At least you couldn't care less what happened to the characters. There was no scenery, the actors chewed it all and then waded through the piles of sawdust for another 45 minutes. I've seen more convincing dramatic acting from Fabio in an I Can't Believe It's Not Butter commercial. I'ma mazed that Aaron Spelling didn't beg to Alan Smitee this one. At least the cast made it up to us by going on to make such enduring classics as Dracula 3000, Maximum Surge and Shark Attack 3... Oh, wait.