GlennFerrell Reviews

Terror in the Mall (1998 TV Movie)

I smell Kraft... um, Velveeta.

[26 June 2005]

The most this movie has going for it is the cheese-factor. Cheese can be fun, of course, but this verges on intolerable.

Of course a mall in a flood-plain would have a grand opening the day after the big flood. Of course a sport/adventure store would be the ONLY store setting up the night before (enter the assumed "hunky hero," until the twist). Of course a snotty singer would be rehearsing in an empty mall (enter "the bitch"). Of course there would only be one security guard in a multi-million dollar, brand new mall (enter "the bumbling idiot"). And of course a killer would just happen to escape at the same time (enter "the evil doer" turning out to be...). Never mind the crooked architect who has a big secret that will help with the big finale!

It's a brilliant formula for cheese. Not all the acting is horrible, and the movie is good for a laugh. There is no suspense as it is highly predictable. Flashes to the dam, a new mall, and a prison escape? We all know where all of this will end up. Just catch it on Lifetime and don't waste any money if you REALLY want to see this.

Oliver Beene (2003–2004)

Another underdog family tale...

[9 March 2003]

First off, this show cannot be compared to "That 70s (or 80s) Show." If comparisons are in order, it can only be called "Malcolm in the Middle" meets "The Wonder Years." It looks like this will be another tale of an underdog family in their surrounding "hostile" world (1960s in Queens, NY) as seen through the eyes of one of the children (Oliver). It is narrated by the youngest boy (earlier referred to as "chubby" for whatever reason (What, is everyone required to be anorexic in every TV show?). The older, hormonally unstable doofus of a brother (played well by Andrew Lawrence) obsesses over his yet to arrive "first time."

At any rate, it's a rather enjoyable tale. I suspect that it will grow old and lose its appeal as the kids get older and the jokes run out, but enjoy it for now.