RobertCartland Reviews

Boohbah (2003)

My six-year-old threatened to cut her head off

[3/10 · 29 July 2015]

A friend gave us a DVD containing three of the episodes: "Big Windows", "Big TV" and "Long Drink". After a few minutes my six-year- old threatened to cut off her head if I didn't turn it off.

SPOILER ALERT - Oh, never mind. You cannot spoil a show that has no conceivable plot. Every episode is the same. A glowing ball flies around the Earth. Inside are five aliens that look exactly the same except for their color. They wake up, exercise, open a present (the most interesting part of the show), tell a story (sort-of), dance, then go back to bed.

I'm not sure how the show was created but I imagine it took more than a few meetings at the local pub -in fact, I suspect hallucinogenic drugs may have been involved. I kept thinking "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" but that song has more dramatic tension than this show.

The show has some redeeming qualities:

1. The exercises are actually a pretty good workout. Those fat little aliens are pretty fit.

2. If you imagine the aliens as being uncircumcised male members... Well it will be hard not to laugh during most of the show.

3. The aliens fly around by farting... I kid you not. If you turn on the subtitles the word "Pfft" appears every time they fly.

4. It's fun to say "Zing Zing Zingbah" - the name of the orange Boohbah.

I understand that the colors, sounds and patterns are intended to stimulate a young child's brain. I contend, however, that you are better off spending the time reading, singing and playing with your children rather than letting them watch this show.

The Cabinet of Caligari (1962)

Enjoyable Psychological Thriller Akin to an Episode of Twilight Zone

[7/10 · 10 July 2014]

The Cabinet of Caligari is a psychological thriller inspired by the famous German silent film, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Aside from the names the two main characters, Jane and Caligari, and the final plot twist, this film has little resemblance with the early predecessor. The writer, Robert Bloch, a prolific author of short stories, novels and screenplays is best known for Psycho, the novel on which the Hitchcock film is based. Unlike the silent film, this is not a horror, but a psychological story akin to an episode of Twilight Zone –one of the better episodes. The acting and directing are first rate and Bloch's story intrigues and surprises even if the ultimate plot twist becomes clear before the final sequence. The opening image, light at the end of a tunnel, and disturbing music are the only clue that things may not be what they appear. An attractive blond, Jane, exits the tunnel and drives freely in her sports car, sans shoes, until she suffers a flat and finds herself, Rocky Horror Picture style, seeking refuge within the estate of the eccentric Caligari. The estate is not a creepy old mansion, but a tasteful, modern home with comfortable accommodations. After a night's rest, Jane meets Caligari's numerous unsettling guests. Unsettling, only because they accept without question or concern that Jane is being kept in the estate against her will. A large locked gate, guards and dogs prevent Jane from leaving. Most of the guests are kind and understanding. A few, including a handsome young love interest, offer to help Jane escape as long as she opens her mind to their cooperation. An elderly woman named Ruth befriends Jane and offers to help her leave, until Jane later discovers Ruth being tortured by the cruel Caligari and his staff. Jane too suffers humiliation and pain at the hand of the sadistic Caligari. She must rely on her own resolve to escape the nightmare, discovering that most things are not what they appear. While not as ground-breaking as the early film with a similar title, The Cabinet of Caligari is an enjoyable psychological thriller.

One Wild Oat (1951)

A Clever Cute Little Farce

[7/10 · 25 September 2000]

One wild oat is a cute little farce. British wit and clever twists make this an enjoyable film. It also makes an interesting statement regarding the times. The plot depends on the sexual and marriage taboos of fifty years ago; yet, one of the main characters appears in drag. Audrey Hepburn fans will enjoy seeing her briefly in one of her first film appearance. Another bit of trivia, one of the film's stars, Andrew Crawford, will later appear with Audrey in "My Fair Lady". This film is not readily shown or available; if you have a chance to view it, take it.

Audrey Hepburn Remembered (1993 TV Movie)

A Charming Documentary About A Wonderful Woman

[10/10 · 5 September 2000]

This documentary, like Audrey Hepburn, is at first unassuming with a quiet prettiness. However, like Audrey, the more one experiences this film the more one appreciates it. Roger Moore is a charming host. The film includes several clips of Audrey including: numerous interviews, her famous films, and her early work before Roman Holiday. The exposition of her life is nicely balanced; beginning with her childhood, war experience and training as a dancer; and concluding with her career as a mother, work with UNICEF and battle with cancer. There are several touching interviews with family and friends including her brother and her first son Sean Ferrer. The directors interviewed include Billy Wilder (Sabrina, Love In The Afternoon), Stanley Donen (Funny Face, Charade, Two For The Road) and Blake Edwards (Breakfast At Tiffany's). Other people interviewed include actors Gregory Peck (Roman Holiday), and George Peppard (Breakfast At Tiffany's) and other talented people like Henry Mancini and Hubert De Givenchy. Her first husband Mel Ferrer provides great insight into Audrey's personality on and off stage. Ferrer acted with Audrey on film (War and Peace) and stage (Ondine), and directed her as well (Green Mansions). Audrey's love life is covered with respect and dignity without ignoring the difficulties that occurred. I would recommend the documentary to anyone with an interest in the wonderful and magical Audrey Hepburn –a woman with both inner and outer beauty.

The Audrey Hepburn Story (2000 TV Movie)

There's Only One Audrey

[5/10 · 28 March 2000]

Audrey Hepburn fans can enjoy this film if they are willing to keep an open mind, consider it is made for television and remember there is only one Audrey. Even considering the difficulty of the task, Jennifer Love Hewitt is far from convincing as Audrey Hepburn. The problem goes beyond Hewitt's struggle with the accent and different appearance (smaller eyes, larger breast and pointy nose). Jennifer Hewitt simply fails to capture Audrey's charm, playfulness and grace. There is the occasional scene when one sees a glimpse of Audrey such as when she is receiving direction from the writer Colette. Unfortunately, these scenes are few and far between. I would have preferred to see Calista Flockhart or Gwyneth Paltrow (assuming Paltrow would consider a TV movie) try the role.

There are some enjoyable aspects to the film. It was interesting to see Hepburn's childhood and early life dramatized. Hepburn's mother was portrayed with depth and sensitivity. Ironically, the actor playing William Holden ('Sabrina') looked, sounded and acted like George Peppard ('Breakfast at Tiffany's') -a missed opportunity. We also get a nice view of the love and frustration she experiences in her dance career and learn a great deal about her marriage with Mel Ferrer. Some of the scenes are touching, Audrey in Africa meeting the real Sister Luke from ' A Nuns Story', the parting with her father and the scenes with her mother.

Unfortunately, most of the characters fall flat and the film trudges along as Audrey parts with lovers and eventually her father. The film would benefit from some quick cuts and lighter moments. There are also some strange omissions including any mention of 'War and Peace' -the only film featuring Audrey with her husband at the time Mel Ferrer. There is no mention of her Tony award for Gigi (Hepburn's one of the few to win both awards in the same year), her other academy nominations or her later films. The film essentially ends with the filming of 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' so little is told about Audrey's later life. We learn nothing of her second marriage with Dr. Andrea Dotti, her two divorces, her relationship with her children, or her other love interests. It would have been especially touching and inspiring to see a portrayal of her struggle with cancer and her work with UNICEF. What is covered is worth a look if you are a fan of Audrey Hepburn and know little about her life. Afterwards, you will have to watch one of Audrey's films, to experience her true playfulness, charm and grace.

Lady and the Tramp (1955)

The Life and Loves of our Best Friends

[10/10 · 22 January 2000]

There is nothing as wonderful as the wag of a dog's tale. The writers, actors and animators, together with Disney magic, capture the unique and limitless variety of personalities that exist in the canine world. This film takes these wonderful canine characters and shows the world from their perspective. The adorable footage of Lady as a puppy reminds me of the behavior of my own hounds when they were pups. The beautiful "Park Avenue" Lady grows up and falls for the happy-go-lucky, vagabond, Tramp. Add a dog-hating aunt, a baby, some cats, some rats and the adventure is complete. The songs sung from the dog pound together with those sung by the wicked Siamese cats are the most purely fun of any Disney animation. The song sung at the lover's romantic Italian dinner brings a tear to the eye. Finally, Lady and the Tramp share a spaghetti noodle that leads to one of the most memorable kisses in Hollywood history. This is a wonderful film that will be enjoyed for generations.

The Unforgiven (1960)

A Tough Sell

[8/10 · 18 January 2000]

I watched this film because I like westerns and I love Audrey Hepburn. She, however, is simply not right for this role, and detracts from an otherwise intriguing story. Audrey Hepburn plays a potentially half-white half American Indian girl living on a ranch with her adopted family. Audrey offers terrific sentiment, her trademark charm, and an emotionally powerful performance but I had trouble believing the character she was playing. She is simply too dignified to be a ranch girl and believing she could possibly be half-Indian requires a real leap of faith. The story is, however, surprisingly bold, and realistically grim. If you love Audrey, like westerns and or race and morality stories see this film. Otherwise, spend your time seeing either a better western or a film where Audrey Hepburn is more realistically caste.

Once Upon a Time in America (1984)

A Profound Expression of Truth Regarding Friendship andBetrayal

[10/10 · 17 January 2000]

This film is a profound expression of truth regarding friendship and betrayal. Noodles, played by Robert De Niro and Scott Tiler (during childhood), is a simple man and a thug with one credo: you can battle the entire world but you never betray a friend. During the course of this film we experience various pieces of Noodles's life, from childhood, through young adulthood and old age. We learn what happens to his friends, his foes and the love of his life, Deborah. The time span considered is long, including Noodles's childhood shortly after the turn of the century, through the prohibition era, and finally the 1960's.

The film is about relationships; the many years Noodles spends away from his friends receive only a cursory mention. The film, like life and memories, unfolds slowly and reflectively. Sergio Leone's cuts are long and each scene is beautifully amplified my Ennio Morricone's haunting score. The story is not told chronologically. Instead, the chapters of the story are slowly revealed like pieces of a great jigsaw puzzle. Each delicious piece might make us laugh, or cry, or smile, or feel shock. But, as each piece falls into place, a mystery unfolds. When the final piece is revealed, the true essence of the story becomes clear and a sad and beautiful tapestry comes into view.

This film is a true masterpiece, expressing a profound statement about friendship and betrayal, with fantastic acting, writing, directing and music. There is a shortened, two-and-a-half-hour version of the film released that is a disaster. It is like trying to understand a jigsaw puzzle with half of the pieces missing. The original four-hour film can be viewed and enjoyed several times and each time the viewer will see something new.

...And God Created Woman (1956)

And God Created Woman But What Do They Want?

[10/10 · 17 January 2000]

While any spoilers below are presented in vague generalities, one might appreciate this review more after viewing the film.

It is preciously rare to see raw human truths portrayed in a work of art -this film succeeds. Brigitte Bardot plays the young orphan Juliette trying to come to terms with the power and curse of being a beautiful woman. She wants to have fun, she wants to be loved, but few are able to see past her beautiful body and irreverent behavior. One man tries to buy her love and another uses raw male sexual appeal. Both men fail to completely win her affection primarily because of their own inability to admit how completely they love and desire her. A third, most unlikely man, wins her affection by treating her with kindness and love, rescuing her when the world turn against her and defending her honor even against his own mother. When she betrays him, he responds physically, expressing outrage, and than offers forgiveness. It is at the moment of his physical expression of outrage that he wins her love completely. This film expresses the profundity of feminine attractiveness and provides a glimpse at the answer to the Freudian question, `what do women want?'. Expressing the answer in words risks oversimplification; however, one might say that women want the freedom to express their femininity and sexuality within the confines of a loving, supportive and respectful relationship.