supergiantbugkiller Reviews

Munich (2005)

forget the politics, the movie is just plain tedious.

[1/10 · 25 December 2005]

In my opinion, the majority of the reviews of Spielberg's "Munich" have failed their readers. From what I've read, so many people are reviewing this movie's message rather than the film. Like "Fahrenheit 9/11" or "The Passion" before it, I think some people's political leanings and/or allegiance to Spielberg (I love Spielberg, but well... you'll see) is tainting the scores.

While there are many hailing this as a great film, Spielberg is getting nailed from all directions because of "Munich" - Israeli groups say he is naive about terrorism, Palistinean groups are saying it doesn't humanize them enough or show what their motives really were. There are some that instead say it is too even-handed, that Spielberg has tried too hard to please everyone. If I really had to pick one, I'd go with the latter - it seems the only message of this film is about the haunting price of revenge, that violence only creates more violence no matter who does it. I can deal with that. Neither Israel or the PLO strike me as innocent, and I've been attacked so many times for even saying so that I've kind of given up on even having an opinion. Does this even matter though? No. I found "Munich" to be the worst Spielberg movie I've seen. It's the least commercial, and the least watchable, and my opinion has nothing to do with politics whatsoever.

A variety of little problems were evident from the get-go. While this movie has the watchword 'inspired by true events', some characters are historical figures I don't recognize, such as the female Prime Minister of Israel. Some way of pointing out who she was while she was on screen would have been helpful rather than finding out who she was much later. There were no location subtitles despite frequent scene changes. Many scenes feature characters speaking in foreign dialects that in my opinion should have been subtitled. The characters took off on their quest before ever being properly developed, and would fail to be adequately developed as the film progressed beyond generic 'types' - the hothead, the smart one, etc. The film is overly quiet and distant, and most of all, bloated, with too much time between anything happening. It feels like we were given a directors cut DVD of a b-revenge flick that wasn't good at a regular running length in the first place. So basically, this movie bored the holy hell out of me.

I love Spielberg, and saw this movie not because of any specific interest in the story, but because I trust him to hold my interest. Spielberg has made movies about serious subjects before, and as much as we don't want to say it, Schindlers List and Saving Private Ryan are entertaining films. "Munich" is not.

Despite a cast of people I like including Daniel Craig, Geoffrey Rush and Eric Bana, each character is stone faced and dull, with no one giving a standout performance. Eric Bana in particular is atrociously bland here. When he isn't staring off into space with dead eyes, he's required to go into amazingly forced crying fits. The conversations between any set of characters rarely show any passion, and most situations they find themselves feel really phony. The only tension the entire movie has is the occasional feeling that something is going to go very wrong, because the group is very incompetent in carrying out their cold blooded revenge.

Much has been made of that violence. Yes, it is loud, realistic, and kind of exploitative. But that doesn't really matter, since these action scenes are also incredibly repetitive, and eventually fail to even work as a tool to wake up the audience. I don't know if we were supposed to feel all that sympathetic for either side, but some of the revenge murders are vicious enough to make me wonder just what the point was by making them so graphic. I guess this was supposed to reinforce just how nasty killing actually is - that the images can and should haunt you forever - but really all it does it make you feel less sympathetic for everyone. I eventually stopped caring what happened to any of these people, and that's when I began praying it would end. But it kept going and going and going and going. I found out that the script was given a run through by Tony Kushner, writer of "Angels In America", and it is said he had an influence on the set. It shows. "Angels" is probably the one piece of media I've hated most of this past decade, as there hasn't been a movie or series more boring or pretentious. Without saying what it is, there is a scene near the end of "Munich" that is so kitschy, so overblown and ridiculous, I'm sure it was Kushner's doing.

I'm definitely not alone in my dislike of this film - I've got a significant roster of well known, thoughtful reviewers who also hated this movie for the technical aspects of film-making alone. So decide for yourself, but don't make my mistake of going to see it just because it's Spielberg. - Goon

Team America: World Police (2004)

good for half an hour, then kaput

[1/10 · 21 October 2004]

Team America is inherently funny for about a half an hour. The puppets are awkward and funny, its fast paced, quirky, colorful and you hear the Team America theme (the movies biggest laugh) for the first time.

...but it wears thin quickly. Eventually Team America becomes a rehash of themes and even direct items stolen from Parker and Stones' own show, South Park. Whether its the Kim Jong-Il crossbreed of Cartman and the City Wok guy, the Montage song, the mock of country music exploiting 9/11, the 'd*cks/p*ssies' paraphrase from the end of South Parks "I'm a little bit country", its rehash.

There are many things Parker and Stone could have done to make this movie better. for one, hiring actual VOICE ACTORS and differentiating this much much more from South Park. Think of their TV show "thats my bush". The show wasn't so great but imagine if all the actors had been voiced by Parker/Stone instead. It was the sitcom setup with real actors and NEW voices that made it better than it might have been otherwise.

Second, make the political satire way more sharp. Parker/Stone don't know much about politics. The actor characters aren't given any individual personality to make the barbs poked at them funny at all. Eg, the only joke about Michael Moore is that he's fat. come on, there's way more to go with. The whole actor satire is a complete failure. And since it wasn't funny, it gave me time to think past the movie into what hypcrites Parker/Stone are for saying what they're saying about Hollywood. As much as Hollywood actors can annoy me as well, face it, Parker/Stone wade into politics just as much if not more than many other actors. I've never even heard Ethan Hawke or Sam Jackson (two targets in TA:WP) get political, but Parker/Stone put their views into their work, and in their interviews as well, all the fricking time. Many newspaper articles have been written about their views. As much as Parker/Stone hate Hollywood, they are celebrities, and are as guilty as the targets they hit in TA:WP. Maybe they should have inserted themselves somewhere in there as a cameo. I'd have made them a Beavis/Butthead type figures, laughing at everyone from the sidelines, eventually getting killed by TA or the actors... or both.

The movie is also way too long. And repetitive. A few of the best jokes in the movie get worn WAYYYYY into the ground. There's a marionette fight scene at the beginning of the film where it doesn't look right. Its a funny scene, but its a metaphor for the entire movie. The puppets eventually become boring, they dnot have much character to them and Parker/Stone haven't put much life into their personalities themselves. It gets REALLY boring. and since as an action movie satire its so close, without the humor or character its just as boring as any Michael Bay movie they parody.

And thats the biggest crime. For this, despite a great first 1/2 hour, I cant recommend this movie. Its a 4/10, and the biggest disappointment in years.

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)

its just not funny

[1/10 · 29 July 2004]

I saw this after seeing Anchorman. Anchorman was unique, bizarre, funny and satirical.

Dodgeball tries to sell itself as somewhat of a parody of those typical underdog stories, and is full of talented people like Stiller, Stephen Root, Gary Cole and Vince Vaughn, among others.

Its just not funny. There are so many potential situations that I dont knwo why it didnt score. I even thinK i could have wrote it better.

Rent BASEketball instead. Its much more bizarre, makes more jokes from its token announce team, makes something more out of everything involving sports. the locker rooms, the uniforms, the mascots. In Dodgeball other than a cheap S&M joke and how funny Ben Stiller looks in his Cobras uniform, these sort of things arent touched upon. As well, the Dodgeball games are so short, its difficult to tell any funny stories with its characters or create any sense of drama whatsoever that might help deliver a joke or make anything out of the b-characters on opposing teams. BASEketball does all of this, and has some side stories that work as well.

The only character in Dodgeball that got any laughs for me was the Pirate character, and even he was taken out to early. Dodgeball is neither straight enough nor ridiculous enough. It is painfully mediocre and with the talent involved should have been much much better. Much better.

Donnie Darko (2001)

10/10

[10/10 · 27 March 2002]

Its like it says itself on the films mindkiller of a website "pay close

attention, you might miss something"

I wont add much to this review other than a warning for anyone

who hasnt seen it yet. Almost every line is a clue or has deeper

meaning. If you don't pay attention, the ending WONT make

sense and you will be left guessing and perhaps disappointed.

Make sure that if you can, you rent/buy the DVD to help you out, as

the commentary track, deleted scenes and other extras help fill you

in with a lot of things you may not have noticed.

I might also add that Jake Gyllenhaal's was among the best I've

seen all year. Watch out for him, he is going to be a huge star.

Waking Life (2001)

Linklaters best

[10/10 · 27 February 2002]

this is probably Linklaters best film, so of course, no-one saw it. very talky (that'll turn off most of the country) but incredibly imaginative, incredibly visual. you will be drawn in and forced to think. essential viewing.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

yawn

[1/10 · 27 February 2002]

if you havent read the books, none of this makes sense. if i wrote a

song about this movie, the lyrics would be

"Walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk Fight!"

(repeat)

hardly exciting, hardly moving, and definitely not the best movie of

the year, especially not in a year where Ghost World, Hedwig and

the Angry Inch, Waking Life, Man Who Wasnt There, Amelie, and

others came out. there are more movies than the ones Burger

King makes toys for, people! go seek them out, and drop this

wizard nonsense. you can keep your CGI effects (isnt everyone

else sick of them already?) and enjoy this movie which takes itself

way too seriously, or you can stick with your Muppet starring family

films, as i intend to do. thumbs way down for the most overrated

movie since Titanic.

Love! Valour! Compassion! (1997)

great

[29 June 2001]

great play transformed into a great film starring great actors. nothing more to add that others who enjoyed the film didnt say, but a response to those who complained of james "confession" that he took pills.

that scene is not definite one way or the other. that scene is just what is in each persons head at the time. that is one way of seeing things. the other is that what they say is exactly what happens. the point is that it is a turning point where each person is contemplating their future. it should not be seen as a definite confession of what will happen. its meant to put things up in the air.

Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

Tom Green is the new Andy Kaufman

[10/10 · 4 May 2001]

thats right. both of them were grossly understood. Both had a bizarre sense of humor, and both have a strange sense of innocence that underlies everything, no matter what extremes they go to.

Its obvious that this movie is a flop with critics. lets say you were a cop, and you took your job very seriously. and lets say someone puts out a movie that says "i hate cops" every two minutes. you are probably going to hate that movie.

critics think they're so important, and though this film may not literally say "i hate critics", it says it with everything else about it.

people just dont understand that theres different kinds of stupid. theres the 'i'm doing something moronic because people will think its cool' kind of stupid that you'll see in Farelly comedies or in 'scary movie' and theres this movie. it is most certainly stupid, but it is so tongue in cheek and it is done in a way that only a certain segment of the population are going to TRULY get it.

those people are not professional critics, those people arent even most of Tom Greens general fanbase. this film is smart in its stupidity, if that makes any sense at all. it does stupid things out of the blue ON PURPOSE that obviously are poking fun at other films that pull the same tricks. witness another scene where Tom is getting out of a car, and everything is in slow motion, its raining and they are playing "natural blues" by Moby. this scene in itself defines the whole movie for me. its making fun of every single movie you've ever seen, and most people are too stupid to notice it. and everything that is done for shock value is not only for the sake of shock value, but to mock all the other movies that try to make urine, semen, feces, etc. "smart" . The film is incredibly self aware of its 'stupidity' and over the top nature - it even pokes fun at itself.

if you cant find the way Tom Green talks with people, in his stammer and repetition funny, well maybe you're all too used to the same old/same old.

this movie isnt a 10. but i gave it one, just to offset the naysayers. like it or lump it, this is the most original film of the year and time will prove it smarter and funnier than all this Farrelly brothers/ Wayans brothers/"jackass" crap that everyone is jumping on.

To summarize, this movie is punk. its an anti-movie, and its about fricking time.

Left Behind: The Movie (2000)

Not good, but not a complete joke either

[9 March 2001]

This is as good as a Christian movie will ever get. With that said, thats not exactly a compliment. Its not nice to say, but I went to see Left Behind expecting to see camp. To see the cheesiest effects possible and awful acting, and conversions! conversions! conversions! there is a segment of the Christian population that are constantly diving in self-parody, and its entertaining. So i see this film, and without the few prayers and close ups of the Bible, this is nothing more than a B sci-fi epic. There were parts that were absolutely laughable, and there were parts that were actually very well done and surprising, such as the performance by the man who plays Viktor Carpathia. The things that were laughable were as follows: 140,000 people vanish, yet if you look around at the disappearance toll on the plane and within the cities, the count should be much higher. Theres typical death scene cliches like exploding cars and mind control, bad disguising of Toronto as other places like New York, Chicago and London. if you can put up with the religious content, you will find Left Behind more entertaining than most Hollywood crap. but then again, thats not saying much.

The Perfect Storm (2000)

ouch

[1/10 · 19 January 2001]

simply put, this is the worst movie i've ever seen. And i sat through the Postman *AND* Waterworld. The Perfect Bore would have been a better title. The one and only worthwhile moment in this film was hearing Clooney scream (with feeling): "I BRING THE FISH!!!! SO DON'T F*CK WITH ME!!" or something like that. Of course i was barely paying attention at the time, as my fingernails had become my main source of entertainment at that point. Damnit George, what the hell were you thinking. This movie wasn't even 'funny' bad. It was just plain painful.