Change Your Image
BA_Harrison
Twitter: @brettaharrison
Tiktok: @ba_harrison
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Lists
An error has ocurred. Please try againReviews
Late Night with the Devil (2023)
Talk of the devil and he will appear.
Don't tell my wife, but my latest trip to the cinema cost the best part of £50: two tickets (for me and my son) and two meals at a well known fast food burger restaurant (not the 'golden arches'... the other one), plus parking and petrol. Was it worth it? Well the burgers were overpriced and lukewarm, but the cinema seats were comfy (I went for the luxury reclining option), and the film - thank heavens - lived up to the hype.
With more than a dash of kitsch about it, Late Night with the Devil isn't particularly scary, but it is a remarkably fresh offering in a genre that has been frustratingly stale as of late. And while I never jumped out of my comfy seat, the whole thing did get under my skin with its unsettling premise - a live Halloween TV talk show that goes horribly wrong when the host dares to mess with the unknown, introducing guests who dabble in the occult.
The film is smartly directed by Cameron and Colin Cairnes, who slowly build the eerie atmosphere and absolutely nail the 1970s aesthetic; the acting is excellent, with a standout performance by David Dastmalchian as the show's host Jack Delroy; and the climax is totally wild, delivering freaky moments of gory violence and a neat twist ending that proves that dealing with the devil never ends well.
8/10. Ignore the detractors who complain about the use of AI art for the show's title cards: yeah, it's a bit lazy of the film-makers, but it's a minor quibble and something that I imagine most people won't even notice.
Welcome to Arrow Beach (1973)
Life's a beach and then you die.
From a technical standpoint, Welcome To Arrow Beach is not a particularly good film: the direction by its star Laurence Harvey is largely uninspired, the editing is frequently clumsy, and the cinematography is nothing special. That said, the film is still hugely entertaining thanks to its incredibly lurid story, a likeable turn by a young Meg Foster, Harvey's unhinged performance, and a wonderfully groovy '70s vibe.
Foster plays teenage runaway Robbin Stanley, who learns the hard way that hitch-hiking isn't a good idea, narrowly surviving a crash after being picked up by a coke-snorting hot-rodder. Sent on her way by the police, Robbin wanders onto a private beach where she meets Jason Henry, who lives in the big house overlooking the sea. Jason invites Robbin to have dinner with him; she is hesitant at first, but accepts when she learns that the man shares the house with his sister Grace (Joanna Pettet). After dinner, the Henry's suggest that Robbin stays the night, which she does. However, as she lays in bed, she is disturbed by a strange noise emanating from the basement and goes to see what is causing it.
What follows is a decidedly twisted tale that involves incest and cannibalism, with Robbin discovering Jason's terrible secret - that he feeds on the flesh of people who stray onto his beach. Managing to escape the house, the girl is unable to convince the police of her story, having been framed as a drug addict by the conniving Jason. Joined by medical tech Alex Heath (David Macklin), Robbin sneaks into the Henry's house to investigate.
Despite being terminally ill at the time of filming, Harvey throws himself into the role of demented cannibal with gusto, and adds to the unsettling vibe with his character's uncomfortably close relationship with his sister. The film keeps the gore to a minimum, but what there is works well, with the murder of a past-her-prime glamour model seeing the red stuff splashed around liberally in quick edits, and the final reveal of Jason's horrific handiwork being as shocking as anything to be seen in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
7.5/10, rounded up to 8 for IMDb.
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)
How hard can it be?
Busting might make YOU feel good, but the films have always left me feeling underwhelmed. I love the idea of a group of oddball scientists hunting and trapping spooks, but in my opinion none of the movies have done the premise justice (yes, even the original).
Frozen Empire, the latest (and hopefully last) in the franchise, takes the fun basic set-up and over-complicates it to the point that it will confuse younger viewers (the kids in the cinema where I saw the film were clearly not entertained given how much they were talking), while all of the teen drama will bore the adults. The script is muddled, unexciting and in desperate need of some decent comedy (instead of lame quips about sex dungeons and hookers).
For me, the best thing about the whole Ghostbusters series is Ray Parker Jr.'s theme song; sadly, you will have to sit through the entirety of this sorry sequel in order to hear it.
3.5/10, rounded down to 3 for James Acaster (he annoys me) and the stupid mini-Stay Puft characters that are only there so that they can be marketed as toys.
Stopmotion (2023)
Repulsion + Animation = Stopmotion.
I can imagine that creating a stop motion animation is a very slow and tedious process, but an ultimately rewarding one. I wish the same could be said of this film, which is certainly slow and tedious, but doesn't satisfy as a whole.
Aisling Franciosi plays Ella, daughter of famous animator Suzanne Blake (Stella Gonet); together, they are attempting to complete a stop-motion movie, but the project comes to a halt when Suzanne suffers a stroke. Compelled to complete her overbearing mother's film, Ella hides herself away in a vacant tower block and sets to work, but eventually decides to make her own movie. Struggling for inspiration, Ella takes advice from a young girl (Caoilinn Springall) who plays in the building, and together they create the bizarre story of a young girl terrorised by a figure called The Ash Man. However, as time goes by, Ella loses her grip on reality...
Roman Polanski did the whole 'psychotic breakdown' thing so much better nearly sixty years ago with Repulsion; Stopmotion's director, Robert Morgan, does nothing new with the idea, making his film a rather redundant exercise. The freaky animation lends a certain sense of style to proceedings, but Ella's gradual decline is predictable and, for the most part, told in a lethargic, uninteresting fashion. The final act picks up the pace a tad and throws in a smidge of gore, but this only serves to emphasise just how deathly dull the rest of the film is.
Terror in the Wax Museum (1973)
Every decade should have a wax museum horror movie.
It's hard to believe that this film came out the same year as The Exorcist and just one year before The Texas Chain Saw Massacre -- cutting edge horrors that went all out to shock their audiences: Terror in the Wax Museum is strangely old-fashioned and unlikely to have viewers fainting from terror, it's well worn plot and well-established cast (Ray Milland, Elsa lanchester, John Carradine, Broderick Crawford) making the film feel like something from a decade or two earlier.
However, that's not to say I didn't have a good time with the film: I have a soft spot for wax museum movies, and this one is all too aware that it's treading very familiar ground, director Georg Fenady and his players clearly having fun exploiting every possible trope of the genre. There's the old museum owner who dies leaving a fortune hidden somewhere in the building; a greedy old aunt and her innocent ward; a streetwalker with a heart of gold; a killer posing as Jack the Ripper; and a disfigured hunchback who lives in the basement: how can that not be entertaining? The scares are tepid, sure, but this is the perfect comfort movie for fans of old school horror.
Neugdaesanyang (2022)
Blood and gore galore.
The plot for Project Wolf Hunting is all over the place, mixing elements borrowed from several other well-known blockbusters, and it all gets a bit confusing at times, but it doesn't matter one jot: the film's raison d'être is not to give us a cohesive, logical and innovative narrative, but rather to deliver as much blood-drenched violence as it possibly can. And in that it most definitely succeeds.
The basic story sees a group of dangerous criminals escape their shackles while being transported to Korea via cargo ship, ruthlessly killing the cops on board, every death as brutal as can be; however, unbeknownst to the prisoners, the ship is carrying another very dangerous passenger: a genetically enhanced super soldier programmed to kill. And boy, does he ever. The relentless killing machine makes mincemeat of almost everyone he encounters, crushing heads, ripping off limbs, and generally making a right old mess. But with one of the prisoners also a super soldier, the scene is set for a gore-soaked showdown.
Call me easily pleased if you want, but I had a bloody good time with this outrageously violent splatterfest. 7.5/10, rounded up to 8 for IMDb.
Immaculate (2024)
Cecilia's Baby.
For much of its runtime, Immaculate, starring Sydney Sweeney, treads very familiar religious horror ground, as young nun Sister Cecilia arrives at an Italian convent to take her vows only to find that something about the place isn't quite right. The pace of the film is very deliberate, director Michael Mohan gradually building the creepy atmosphere and delivering the expected jump scares, but it's nothing that we haven't seen before.
However, the pace picks up considerably once it is revealed that Cecilia has somehow fallen pregnant, despite not having had congress with a man, and that her superiors will stop at nothing to ensure that she stays at the convent to see the pregnancy through to full term; the remainder of the film is the opposite side of the coin to Satanic classic Rosemary's Baby and it is a lot of fun. The level of violence increases as the film approaches its tense climax, several acts of extreme nastiness definitely deserving of the 18 rating.
Immaculate ends with a final act of defiance from Cecilia that is both shocking and thought provoking, ensuring that viewers will be thinking about the movie long after they have left the cinema.
Scream... and Die! (1973)
Get nekkid, scream and die.
With its mysterious leather-gloved killer and busty beauties, there's more than a touch of the Giallo about José Larraz's Scream and Die (AKA The House That Vanished); unfortunately, the film is lacking that genre's sense of style and its numerous creative death scenes, instead delivering lacklustre visuals and only two notable murders. The acting is atrocious, to boot.
The story is fairly basic: sexy glamour model Valerie Jennings (Andrea Allan) witnesses a murder and narrowly escapes becoming a victim herself; unluckily for her, the killer knows who she is and where she lives. What a pickle!
Figuring out the identity of the flick-knife wielding maniac isn't difficult, despite a few red herrings, so to make matters more interesting, Larraz has his female characters take off their clothes at every available opportunity and chucks in a couple of sex scenes, including one particularly sleazy moment in which Valerie's new love interest Paul (Karl Lanchbury) does the deed with his own aunt! It comes as no surprise that he turns out to be the psycho. The filthy pervert.
5.5/10, rounded up to 6 for Hammer babe Judy Matheson as Valerie's unfortunate friend Lorna.
The Night God Screamed (1971)
Fanny Pierce (snigger, snigger).
When Fanny Pierce (Jeanne Crain) witnesses members of a religious cult crucifying her 'false prophet' minister husband Willis (Alex Nicol), she finds herself paralysed with fear, unable to act until the killers have left. Her subsequent testimony in court sees the cult's leader, Billy Joe Harlan (Michael Sugich), and several of his followers sent to death row, but many of his flock remain free and they vow to take revenge.
After the trial, Fanny agrees to 'babysit' for Judge Coogan (Stewart Bradley), ensuring that his four teenage children remain at home for the weekend; however, not long after the judge and his wife have left the house, Fanny receives threatening phone calls and notes, and fears that the cultists have come a-calling.
With such a great set-up, The Night God Screamed had potential to be a really gritty slice of '70s exploitation, but for reasons that become clear in the final act, the film is fairly restrained in terms of nastiness. Director Lee Madden cranks up the tension throughout, but with the whole thing serving to set up a rather predictable twist (followed soon after by a second twist), it just isn't all that satisfying. I would have preferred it if the makers had done away with the 'clever' surprise and just concentrated on giving us a brutal siege film with lots of gnarly violence (like Assault on Precinct or Straw Dogs).
My rating: 6/10.
Hex (1973)
Inhexplicable.
Hex is a whacked out blend of Western, stoner biker movie and supernatural horror that gives the impression that the makers of the film might've partaken of the same recreational substances smoked by its two main female characters.
Cristina Raines and Hilarie Thompson play siblings Oriole and Acacia, 'half-breed honeys' living on a small farm in rural Nebraska shortly after the First World War. The sisters' peaceful existence comes to an end when a group of motorcyclists seek refuge at their homestead, having been run out of the nearby town of Bingo. After one of the bikers, Giblets (Gary Busey), tries to rape Acacia, Oriole uses native Indian magic (taught to her by her father) to exact revenge.
Nothing about this film feels right - the performances, the direction, and the editing are all executed in an incredibly awkward and offbeat manner that makes it no surprise that this was the first and last film to be directed by Leo Garen. Not even TV wanted him after this mess. The whole thing is rendered even more ludicrous by the lively Jew's harp/harmonica/banjo score that accompanies almost every scene, which is more suited to a madcap 'good ol' boys' Southern comedy (starring Burt Reynolds) than a horror.
Still, with a film as downright bizarre as this one, there is fun to be had if cult cinema is your thing: we get an angry mob in a hot-rod (the group including a shotgun-toting ten year old), Oriole and female biker China (Doria Cook-Nelson) have a cat-fight (with Keith Carradine joining in the fun!), there's a trippy hallucinatory scene featuring a fat toad and savage mice, Gary Busey is killed by an owl, and, just when you think it can't get any more strange, the ending features four jet planes flying over the farm. WTF?
Also the costume coordinator for the film was Dick Butz, whose name is always good for a laugh.
Imaginary (2024)
Much worse than I ever imagined.
The poster and synopsis for Imaginary had me thinking that this latest Blumhouse horror would be a mix of Megan and Five Nights at Freddy's, two films that performed well at the box office but which left me distinctly unimpressed. Imaginary is far worse than either.
The film starts off predictable, with clichéd characters, sloppy storytelling, and very few surprises, and then goes totally off the rails in the final act, but not in a good way - the ending makes no sense whatsoever, with the female protagonists entering Jareth the Goblin King's Escher inspired world of imagination where they battle a giant bear. Honestly, don't even bother to figure out what is going on - it's not worth the effort or the brain ache. And don't expect to be scared by anything in this film - it's a 15 certificate in the UK but there is absolutely nothing frightening or disturbing about it.
2.5/10, which I am rounding down to 2 for the amateurish paintings supposedly created by an award-winning, best-selling children's author and illustrator.
Brightwood (2022)
Round and round and round we go...
Indie horror Brightwood, from director Dane Elcar, stars Dana Berger and Max Woertendyke as Jen and Dan, a married couple who have hit a rocky patch in their relationship. Having disgraced himself while drunk at a social gathering, Dan tries to patch things up with Jen as she jogs around a local pond, but things take a very unexpected turn when the pair discover that they are unable to find the trail that leads home and realise that they have become caught in a temporal glitch that sees them encountering multiple versions of themselves.
Although beautifully shot, with decent performances from its cast of two, Brightwood cannot escape the fact that it's a full length film stretched out from Elcar's earlier 2018 short The Pond, which appears to have been fairly derivative in the first place, the inescapable location smacking of Blair Witch and the time loop reminiscent of Triangle. Berger and Woertendyke do the best they can with their parts, combining tension with humour, and I like the way that the film draws parallels between being trapped in a failing marriage and being trapped in a nightmarish perpetual time loop, but after a while I felt like I was caught in an infinite loop myself, as the film - much like it's characters - covers the same ground over and over again.
For me, the final scene is the best part of the film, revealing how Jen and Dan have become closer as a result of their ordeal and have found a way to survive at all costs.
Lisa Frankenstein (2024)
Not for men in their fifties.
Let me preface this review for Lisa Frankenstein by saying that, as a 56 year old male, I don't think I'm the audience they were going for. If I were a sixteen year old goth girl, I might have enjoyed it more than I did. Possibly.
The film sees introverted high-schooler Lisa (Kathryn Newton) coming out of her shell when the reanimated corpse of a young man (Cole Sprause, channelling Johnny Depp) enters her life. The movie feels like an attempt to combine the dark fairytale style of Edward Scissorhands with the zombie romance of Warm Bodies, with a touch of Ginger Snaps' coming-of-age goth-fuelled girl-power for good measure. Only it's not as good as any of those films.
Director Zelda Williams' debut is an undead love story told in a Tim Burton-esque style, with plenty of quirky visuals and goth horror references, but where Burton's dark whimsicality feels natural, the kooky nature of Lisa Frankenstein feels forced, with many a scene falling flat. Diablo Cody's script is derivative, packed with dreadful dialogue and comedic moments that just aren't funny.
The first half of the film is particularly tough to get through, and by the time Lisa and her undead love interest begin to do bad things, the damage is already done. It's hard to remain invested in the film for the duration. Driving the final nail in the coffin is the fact that whole thing is geared towards that aforementioned teenage girl audience, meaning that the twisted central premise doesn't get the R-rated treatment it deserves.
Paradiso infernale (1988)
Climati castrates the cannibal genre.
Green Inferno (AKA Cannibal Holocaust II) is what you get if you suck all of the visceral power (and the cannibalism) out of Cannibal Holocaust. Like Deodato's infamous shocker, the film sees an intrepid female reporter and her team venture into the jungles of the Amazon to try and find a missing professor of anthropology. Unlike Deodato's film, it features no gruelling horror (unless you count the sight of a small carnivorous fish being extracted from a man's ass!), instead coming across like a National Geographic documentary crossed with a lame jungle adventure (with elements of humour). It certainly doesn't deserve to be associated with the king of all Italian cannibal movies.
Much of the film revolves around the protagonists stealing a plane and then trapping monkeys which they exchange for gas; this allows director Antonio Climati to include that genre staple -animal cruelty - but even these scenes lack the ability to shock or disgust (it's a wonder why he held back given his involvement with notorious mondo movies Africa Addio and Savage Man Savage Beast, both of which feature loads of animal violence). After successfully fuelling their stolen plane, the characters have a run in with angry natives that amounts to nothing, are attacked by bats, meet a topless jungle beauty, are captured by river pirates who are harvesting the organs of indigenous children, and eventually locate the missing professor, who is perfectly fine. No cannibalism involved whatsoever.
Stranger with My Face (2009)
Astral projection; dismal production.
I brought my daughter up to love horror films, but she also has an inexplicable liking for crap Canadian films, which is how I ended up watching Stranger With My Face, a made-for-TV supernatural thriller starring Alexz Johnson and Catherine Hicks. My daughter enjoyed it; I was less impressed.
Johnson plays teenager Laurie Stratton, who is struggling with the death of her father. A series of strange incidents leads Laurie to believe that she has a doppleganger who has been taking her place but her concerned friends and family think that she is imagining things as a result of her trauma. Eventually, Laurie learns that she was adopted and that she has an evil twin sister who has been using astral projection to cause trouble.
To be fair, there's potential for a good film here -- the astral projection idea is fun -- but the horrible Lifetime production values mean that the result is cheap and tacky. The direction is weak, the writing is lame, the acting is barely passable, and the special effects are bargain basement. The best moments feel like they have been cribbed from Ghost (1990) and A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987).
3/10.
Dracula (1974)
Jack in a box.
If you can turn a blind eye to the fact that the wolves are actually just big dogs, and that Carfax Abbey is Oakley Court, UK horror's most overused filming location, you'll probably have a good time with this made-for-TV version of Dracula -- it's written by Richard Matheson (The Twilight Zone)and directed by Dan Curtis (Dark Shadows), so it has a fine pedigree, and Jack Palance makes for a memorably scary Count Dracula. I had my reservations about the actor playing the iconic vampire -- he doesn't seem like an obvious choice for the part -- but he definitely rises to the occasion, with the wonderful Nigel Davenport equally great as the Count's nemesis Van Helsing.
The basic plot will be familiar to Dracula fans: Jonathan Harker travels to Castle Dracula to show the Count some potential properties in Blighty. The vampire sees a photograph of Lucy, who reminds him of his love from centuries ago, and packs his bags (and a few crates of soil) to go and find her. Matheson doesn't stray too far from Stoker's novel, but still manages to make the story feel fresh, and Curtis creates some memorable moments, dialling up the horror as far as he can within the limitations of the TV format (although the slightly gorier print for theatrical distribution in Europe is obviously the way to go). Palance's Dracula is genuinely threatening, a snarling animalistic fiend with super-strength who doesn't take kindly to the interference of Van Helsing and Lucy's fiance Arthur (Simon Ward).
The ending is a lot of fun, as Van Helsing and Arthur go to Castle Dracula, deal with Dracula's 'brides' and the now vampiric Harker, before confronting the Count himself.
7.5/10, rounded up to 8 for IMDb.
N. B. Look out for Sarah Douglas (Ursa from Superman II) as a female vampire, and John Challis (Boycie from Only Fools and Horses) as a clerk at a shipping warehouse.
Les démoniaques (1974)
What is it with the clowns, Jean?
I have to be in the right mood for a Rollin movie, and I clearly wasn't when I watched The Demoniacs: what works in some of his films - the dreamlike atmosphere and coastal setting, the freewheeling plot, copious female nudity, a random clown - I found to be incredibly boring on this occasion.
The film sees a group of 'wreckers' (John Rico, Joëlle Coeur, Willy Braque and Paul Bisciglia) attacking two young women (Lieva Lone and Patricia Hermenier), survivors of a ship that has been lured onto the rocks by the cruel marauders. After raping the girls, the wreckers leave them for dead, but their victims are still alive (or possibly ghosts... I wasn't sure which) and, with help from a mysterious man with supernatural powers (who might be the devil), they set about taking revenge.
Rollin drags this basic story out to feature length with lots of pointless nonsense that is a real test of one's patience: bawdy goings-on in a bar with a psychic landlady, the aforementioned clown (Mireille Dargent) leading the girls to sanctuary, the wreckers pursuing the girls through a ship graveyard.
The film's one saving grace is Joëlle Coeur as sadistic wrecker Tina: she is drop-dead-gorgeous and sheds her clothes a lot, all of which makes matters a little easier to bear.
2.5/10, rounded up to 3 for Coeur.
The Legend of Hillbilly John (1972)
I seem to be alone in disliking this one.
Based on a series of stories by American author Manly Wade Wellman, this folk horror/fantasy stars Hedges Capers as John, a ballad singer who wanders the Appalachians battling evil with a magical silver-stringed guitar as his weapon. As John roams the land, he encounters a gold-hungry man who makes a deal with a witch, battles an 'ugly bird' (a shonky stop-motion creature), and defeats a nasty cotton plantation owner who is cheating the black folk toiling in his fields.
I suspect that all of the positive reviews here on IMDb have been written by Appalachians who have a sense of romantic nostalgia about where they live and who are willing to turn a blind eye to the fact that the plot is a scattershot load of old twaddle, with a main character who randomly wanders from scene to scene with no real sense of purpose. Add to the fact that Capers is a terrible actor (this is his one and only movie) and what you have is an often incomprehensible piece of low budget garbage unlikely to appeal to anyone who wears shoes and doesn't have an outhouse.
Amazingly, the cast features some fairly impressive names: Susan Strasberg (The Manitou, Rollercoaster), Denver Pyle (Bonnie and Clyde, The Dukes of Hazzard), Harris Yulin (Scarface, Ghostbusters II) and R. G. Armstrong (Predator, Dick Tracy), with Hoyt Axton (Billy Peltzer's dad in Gremlins) singing one of the songs.
2/10. As bad as the animated ugly bird is, I quite enjoyed it, so the film narrowly escapes getting the lowest possible rating.
The Possession of Joel Delaney (1972)
Possession is 1/10th of the film.
The year before the possession horror sub-genre hit big with The Exorcist, director Waris Hussein gave us this rather unassuming tale that now languishes in relative obscurity, despite starring Oscar nominee (and future winner) Shirley MacLaine.
MacLaine plays wealthy New Yorker Norah Benson, who dotes on her younger brother Joel Delaney (Perry King), who hangs out in Spanish Harlem. After Joel is arrested by the police for attacking the super of the building in which he lives, the young man claims that he cannot remember the incident. Norah becomes increasingly concerned about her brother's erratic behaviour and, after a brutal murder, learns that Joel has become host to the spirit of Puerto Rican psycho killer Tonio Peréz.
The problem with this film is that it really doesn't do much of note until the mean-spirited final act, when Joel/Tonio finally goes full-on possessed, threatening Norah and her two children with a switchblade, forcing them to degrade themselves (easily the most disturbing part of the film due to the age of the kids). Hussein throws in an unconvincing severed head or two along the way, but the bulk of the film is unremarkable and uninspired.
Skeleton Man (2004)
What if Predator was a skeleton? On a horse.
Guardians of the Galaxy actor Michael Rooker might be the star of the show, but Skeleton Man is very much a Casper Van Dien movie, if you catch my drift. Made for the Sci Fi channel, it's essentially a very cheap and badly made knock off of Predator, the bony villain of the piece using his special vision and warping ability to hunt and kill members of an elite squad who have been sent to locate some missing soldiers. And by 'elite squad', I mean a bunch of disorganised chumps (including three women in small vests) who, one by one, stray from the group and are immediately added to Skeleton Man's list of victims.
Skeleton Man's origins are extremely muddled, narrative cohesion and logic being in very short supply. From what I could gather, he was once a native American brave who, for reasons that remain unclear, slaughtered his tribe; now he is a bloodthirsty skeleton on horseback who uses a variety of weapons -- spear, sword, bow and arrows -- to kill anyone who ventures into his hunting ground. Why? Search me.
The script is weak, the acting is diabolical (Van Dien sets the standard for the performances... even Rooker sucks), the direction is lifeless and the special effects are bargain basement (Skeleton Man is a bloke in a cheap Halloween mask, wearing a plastic cape and hood). Even fans of z-grade trash might struggle with this one, although one's enjoyment of the film can easily be enhanced by turning the film into a drinking game: knock back a shot every time a screeching eagle randomly appears, and you'll soon be too drunk to care.
Sadly, I wasn't drinking when I watched Skeleton Man, and found it quite hard going, although there were several things about the film that were so ridiculously bad that I couldn't help but enjoy them just a little: the inexplicable inclusion of an underwater demolition expert in the squad; Rooker tripping over a twig and falling down a slope, not stopping until until he (or his stunt double) has done at least three somersaults; Casper Van Dien hijacking and destroying a truck for no discernable reason; and the blatant use of the 'If it bleeds, we can kill it' line from Predator.
2/10. A truly terrible film, saved from getting the lowest possible rating by the inclusion of some cheapo gore and the fact that it is so 'riff-able'.
The Other (1972)
Like no other.
Despite being physically identical, twins Niles (Chris Udvarnoky) and Holland (Martin Udvarnoky) have markedly different personalities: Niles is the sensitive one, and Holland is the one who likes to kill - or so it seems.
This superbly crafted psychological horror starts off by carefully establishing its characters and narrative framework, before throwing in a twist midway that totally changes matters; from hereon, the film is a powerful study of a fractured mind that delivers great performances, unexpected developments and a truly shocking finalé.
Set in a rural American town in the 1930s, The Other opens in idyllic nostalgic mode, as Niles and Holland share their carefree childhood, playing together happily in the sunshine; however, things soon take on a much darker tone as a series of gruesome incidents rock the community. Director Robert Mulligan also introduces a supernatural element, as Niles plays 'the game' with his grandmother Ada (Uta Hagen): projecting himself into the minds of others, seeing through their eyes - a clue to what is to come.
Even though this would be their one and only movie, the Udvarnoky brothers put in very natural and convincing performances, carrying much of the film on their young, inexperienced shoulders, with acting coach Hagen giving fine support as Ada, who gradually realises the horrific truth about the accidents plaguing the family and neighbours.
There are several scenes that will linger in the mind long after the film has finished: without giving too much away, they include a visit to a carnival sideshow that features real 'freaks', a chilling moment that involves a pair of secateurs, and the heart-breaking discovery of a missing newborn girl. The Other also benefits from beautiful cinematography by Robert Surtees, who perfectly captures the lazy summer vibe of a bygone era that is deliberately at odds with the horror that unfolds, and an atmospheric score by the legendary Jerry Goldsmith that makes the film all the more unsettling.
Not knowing anything about the film before going in will make the whole experience a pleasantly disturbing surprise, so I strongly suggest that you don't delve too deeply into reviews beforehand in order to maximise your enjoyment and appreciation of this masterful shocker.
Neither the Sea Nor the Sand (1972)
True love never dies.
Her marriage on the rocks, Anna Robinson (Susan Hampshire) goes to Jersey where she falls for islander Hugh (Michael Petrovitch). The couple begin a passionate love affair which is tragically cut short when Hugh suddenly dies from a heart condition. Anna is grief stricken, but her love for Hugh is so strong that not even death can keep them apart...
Neither the Sea Nor the Sand is a bleak, romantic horror love story that is told at a very gradual pace and requires a lot of patience from the viewer; I'm not entirely convinced that the film is worth the perseverance. It's more than likely too sappy for the average horror fan, too offbeat for anyone looking for a routine tearjerker, and simply too slow for almost everyone. The two leads are given some dreadful dialogue, and it's lucky for Petrovich that his character is mute for the second half of the film, leaving it up to Hampshire to shoulder most of the embarrassment.
Frank Finlay was probably relieved when his character - Hugh's puritanical brother George - plunges over a cliff in his van.
4.5/10, generously rounded up to 5 for IMDb. Goths and emos might enjoy this one more than most.
Morbo (1972)
Honeymoon killers.
Morbidness is a film that I think would have worked much better as a short.
The majority of the film focuses on the relationship between newlyweds Alicia (Ana Belén) and Diego (Víctor Manuel) as they spend their honeymoon in a remote spot in the countryside. It's not long before the happy couple begin to bicker, the tension exacerbated by some strange occurrences and Alicia's persistent feeling that she is being watched. This all very drawn out and very repetitive, the film only pulling together in the last act, in which Alicia is attacked by a strange man (Michael J. Pollard), the young woman defending herself by fatally hitting her assailant on the head with an iron. When she goes to find Diego, the pair are shot at by the dead man's blind mother (María Vico). Diego manages to disarm the old woman and kills her.
The final scene sees Diego and Alicia disposing of the bodies, and, after removing any incriminating evidence, driving away, the couple having completely forgotten about the carving that Diego made on a tree trunk: a love heart with both of their names and the date. The final shot of the carving is a clever addendum, not just a reminder of how quickly Alicia and Diego's relationship has turned sour but also evidence of their complicity - but it's a long time coming.
4.5/10, rounded up to 5 for IMDb.
Le moine (1972)
Fornication, sorcery, and murder, oh my!
Father Ambrosio (Franco Nero) is so absorbed by his faith that he can't even tell the difference between a man and a woman. And clearly he is not alone, for none of the other monks seem to have noticed that Brother John is actually a beautiful woman, Mathilde (Nathalie Delon). When Mathilde reveals herself to Ambrosio, and declares her love for him, he quickly forgets about his vows of chastity and begins a clandestine affair with the woman. His urges fired up, Ambrosio finds himself drawn to beautiful fifteen-year-old Antonia (Eliana De Santis). Mathilde, actually an emissary of the devil sent to tempt Ambrosio, says that she can make the girl his, but to do so he must take part in a black magic ritual. Of course, Mathilde cannot be trusted, her ultimate goal being to claim Ambrosio's soul for her master.
The Monk is twisted tale of temptation and immorality that illustrates how men of the cloth can be corrupted just as easily as any other person, often using the cloak of Christianity/Catholicism to hide their deviancy. If that isn't enough to ruffle some feathers, the story also throws in a depraved Duke (in cahoots with Mathilde) who has a liking for underage girls and who might possibly be a cannibal. Towards the end of the film, the Inquisicion shows up (unexpectedly, of course) and arrests Ambrosia, condemning him to torture and death. His only way out... to make a deal with the devil. The final shot is a hilarious attack on the very heart of the Catholic church.
Fans of shocking cinema might feel like The Monk pulls its punches at times, and it is true that certain scenes could easily have been stronger in terms of sex, violence and general deviancy - one wonders what it might have been like in the hands of another, more daring director (Luis Buñuel was originally going to direct); that said, it is still a very worthwhile movie, and a must-see for anyone who likes their horror to tackle sensitive subjects.
The Man with 2 Heads (1972)
Another dreadful Milligan mess.
Dr. William Jekyll (Denis DeMarne) perfects a formula that can isolate and treat evil in the brain. Unfortunately, Jekyll's incompetent assistant Jack Smithers (Berwick Kaler) drops the only vial of the serum, and then accidentally spills a liquid over the one existing copy of the formula, covering up his mistake by writing in what he thinks has been eradicated. When Jekyll knocks up a new batch of the serum, using the incorrectly amended formula, he transforms into a wicked fiend who takes pleasure in degrading, humiliating and killing those unfortunate to cross his path.
Andy Milligan's version of Robert Louis Stevenson's Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde is incredibly talky, which isn't a good thing when the dialogue is so badly written and the acting is so amateurish. Of course, being a Milligan film, The Man With Two Heads was almost guaranteed to be awful no matter how good or bad the script and performances, the direction being of the low, low calibre we have come to expect from the man who gave us such garbage as The Ghastly Ones (1968), Torture Dungeon (1969), Bloodthirsty Butchers (1970), The Body Beneath (1970), Guru the Mad Monk (1970), The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! (1972), Carnage (1984) and Monstrosity (1987), all of which I have had the misfortune to see.
The photography is horrible, the sound quality is bad, the editing chaotic, and the pace sluggish; as a result, the whole thing is a crushing bore to sit through, despite some cheapo gore effects and one of cinema's more despicable and unhinged Mr. Hydes (although in this film, Jekyll's villainous alter-ego goes by the name of Danny Blood).
2.5/10, generously rounded up to 3 for Danny Blood's ability to whip out a meat cleaver from nowhere, and for the thickest and most sudden pea-souper to ever hit Victorian London.