S02-E07 gives us a creepy pair of stories, but with a distinct problem: the first tale is too brief to really catch fire and the second is hurt by overlength. The opener, "Midnight Never Ends", written by series host Rod Serling, has Susan Strasberg picking up hitchhiking Marine Robert E. Lyons on a lonesome highway--a scenario both know well. Is this a case of déjà vu or is something else going on? "Midnight" is an intriguing piece that begs to be expanded upon; Serling cuts too quickly to the reveal, which director Jeannot Szwarc delivers matter-of-factly. "Brenda", written by Douglas Heyes from Margaret St. Clair's short story, has a dynamic set-up which is unfortunately tempered by too much detail. Laurie Prang is a trouble-causing youngster on an island vacation spot who befriends a boggy monster in the woods. Director Allen Reisner isn't very talented with his actors (everyone is hyped up for no particular purpose), although he delivers a boldly serious finale which, while not scary, is certainly admirable.
Reviews
5,471 Reviews
Secrets
(1971)
Non-erotic "erotic drama" about marriage hasn't enough on its mind...
10 April 2024
Chatty piece from UK's Satori Films begins with housewife Jacqueline Bisset taking her young daughter to the laundry to do a load of clothes (hardly the type of scene to start off what was advertised as an erotic drama!). After sitting for awhile, Bisset goes out for a walk and is picked up in the park by a widower-businessman who thinks she looks like his late wife. Meanwhile, the daughter leaves the laundromat with a grown man who shows her his garden (and kisses her), and Bisset's husband takes an aptitude test for a computer programming job and strikes up a relationship with the moderator. Screenwriter Rosemary Davies, working from a treatment by the film's director, Philip Saville, is interested mainly in probing the questioning minds of her characters; however, her dialogue is so vacant and vague that, by the finale, nothing significant has been gained by the experiences of the day--and nothing is learned. The underwhelming "Secrets" finally made it to the US in 1978 via low-rent Lone Star Films, who managed to get on Bisset's bad side by marketing the picture as an R-rated heavy-breather. The actress's nudity is fairly brief--and the love scene nonexploitative--which surely caused some dissension among moviegoers. * from ****
Coming Up Roses
(2011)
No more happy endings...
9 April 2024
Independently-produced drama starring Bernadette Peters as the unstable, unemployable mother of a teenage daughter; she's a former stage actress reduced to living in a rundown building, still hoping the ex-husband who walked out on her six years ago will return. Peter Friedman is the city worker who takes a liking to both ladies; he's set up as the proverbial prince with a sad heart, but there's a twist to his character that only serves to make us really uncomfortable. Rachel Brosnahan is fine as 15-year-old Alice, although she looks and talks like a much older girl; her friendship with a neighborhood troublemaker and her job as a drug-runner are both narrative dead-ends. As for Peters, she's professional and adept, as always; she elevates this shopworn material, updated with rougher language and constant police sirens. Screenwriters Lisa Albright (who also directed) and Christina Lazaridi have seen a lot of movies; they know the drill, yet they haven't developed this material enough to make it embraceable. Most audiences would cross the street to avoid these people. * from ****
Don't Cry, It's Only Thunder
(1982)
It may have some appeal for softies with a predisposition for such stories...
8 April 2024
At a Saigon Air Base in 1967, an unorthodox young medic (Dennis Christopher), who sells morphine and military supplies on the black market, is reprimanded and eventually demoted to the mortuary; a no-nonsense female doctor (Susan Saint James) takes a liking to him and sweetly blackmails him into delivering rations to a gaggle of Vietnamese children living with the nuns in a bombed-out orphanage. US-Japan co-production from The Sam Goldwyn Company was a tough sell in 1982, except possibly to leftover fans of "The Inn of the Sixth Happiness". The kids are certainly cute learning math and splashing together in the wash bins, but when a jealous child accuses the medic of having more than a brotherly interest in a mute 12-year-old girl, the narrative suddenly takes an unpleasant turn (there's nothing improper going on, but the implication hangs like a black cloud). Paul G. Hensler's screenplay, "suggested by a true story" (which likely means most of it is fictionalized), has some humor, but mostly a lot of phony melodrama--it's TV on the big screen. James Whitmore Jr. Comes on too strong as Christopher's superior (he doesn't seem to have any priorities except persecuting this kid), and Christopher is too brash and movie-cagey for us to gain much respect for him. Saint James gives the film's best performance; she looks great and is completely convincing as a doctor, although her Katherine seems an unlikely romantic partner for Christopher's cut-up. The film isn't well-produced or well-directed (by Peter Werner, who has not one iota of visual style); but, for the knick-knack-paddy-whack crowd, it may have some appeal. *1/2 from ****
Fade to Black
(1980)
I'd rather watch the films on the posters and theater marquees...
8 April 2024
Loner kid in Los Angeles, living in a movie dream-world in a house with his wheelchair-bound aunt (who has a lascivious tone in her voice when she's not harping on him), eliminates his enemies in classic movie fashion. I'm willing to cut "Fade to Black" some slack: a lot of film-buffs seem to admire the picture--and the movie posters and theater marquees are fun to see--but it's a rancid little thriller that loses steam as it continues (it does its own "Fade"). Dennis Christopher was probably well-cast, yet he's made to be so nutty that he's even more remote from us than, say, Michael J. Pollard or Bud Cort. The role requires a lot of hamming, but Christopher doesn't have the innate style needed to connect with the black-and-white world his character lives in (at one point, his aunt deliberately knocks over his movie projector, but he cares more about getting rid of her than saving that machine!). Writer-director Vernon Zimmerman had the germ of a good idea; he's helped by colorfully seedy locations, but there's little modulation between scenes--nearly everyone in the film is on the verge of a mental breakdown. Peter Horton and Mickey Rourke turn up in small parts, and newcomer Linda Kerridge does an OK imitation of Marilyn Monroe, but much of the rest is wretched. * from ****
Parasite
(2019)
Aptly-titled Oscar darling from South Korea
7 April 2024
The four members of a poverty-stricken brood slyly infiltrate the household of a wealthy communications specialist and his family under the guise of a skilled tutor (the son), an art specialist (the daughter), a driver (the father) and a housekeeper (the mother). The plan appears to be working brilliantly until the former housekeeper returns and reveals an underground bunker off the basement in which she's been hiding her husband, on the run from loan sharks. For the better part of an hour, director and co-writer Bong Joon Ho keeps this crafty tale of lies and deceit bubbling along--the have-nots taking full advantage of the trusting, naïve (and "simple") haves--with the gleefulness of their operation underlined by an encroaching insidiousness. One might expect the ruse to be exposed in some grandiose way, but Bong is actually more ambitious than that (in most instances, an enviable trait); however, the tangled plot goes off-the-rails at a certain point in the picture's second-half, leading to a ridiculous "ironic" chain of events. It's certainly well-made and acted, with beautiful cinematography by Hong Kyung-pyo and a pensive score from Jung Jae-il. ** from ****
Three for the Show
(1955)
Betty Grable working for Columbia in her last year of making movies: results tolerable if lacking in zest...
4 April 2024
Musical version of 1940's "Too Many Husbands", via W. Somerset Maugham's play "Home and Beauty" (which the author said he wrote as a lark), has widowed--and remarried--Broadway star in a marital quandary: her first husband's death overseas was misreported by the US Air Force (he was actually marooned on an island), and now she has two husbands...and both marriages legal! Grable toys with the possibilities--she even fantasizes a musical number with dozens of suitors housed in cages, climaxing with she and her two husbands under the sheets smoking a hookah! But, this being 1955, we instead have Betty ordering both her husbands out of her boudoir come bedtime. The plot predicament, not surprisingly, doesn't come to much, but in the interim we have some bright moments, not the least of which is Grable's Marilyn Monroe-like delivery in the final number, "How Come You Do Me Like You Do" (which sounds a lot like MM's "Lazy" with a design resembling her "Heat Wave"). Director H. C. Potter opens the picture with a berserk pantomime number danced to "Someone To Watch Over Me" (in harlequin costumes!), but he gets good performances from both Grable and Lemmon (who also sings a little and dances a bit). As a second couple, Marge and Gower Champion dance nicely together but don't have much pizzazz, much like the rest of "Three For the Show". A pleasant marquee-filler but hardly a headliner. **1/2 from ****
Until It's Time For You to Go...
31 March 2024
S01-E07 has Mac reuniting with an old flame, singer Lee Richards (Barbara McNair); she's in trouble when her estranged husband disappears just after a recording surfaces of the couple having an argument, ending with a gun shot and the sound of a body being dragged. Sally (a pregnant Susan Saint James) is bedbound, but she's quite wonderful here bristling at Mac's involvement with an ex-girlfriend, while the interracial detail is commendably never brought up (Rock Hudson and McNair even share a chaste kiss). One of the better early episodes, although when Mac puts the pieces of the mystery together, the details take a few minutes to sink in (something about a book of matches in the trash and frozen food that was thawed and then re-frozen!). The police commissioner never does find the body of the missing man (how well did the killer hide it?), but the interactions between the principals is well-accomplished. Writer Brad Radnitz ably rewrote a 1968 episode of his from "Ironside", titled "An Obvious Case of Guilt". Good show.
Child of Manhattan
(1933)
"You've had champagne before?" .. "Once--at a wake."
31 March 2024
John Boles is quite charming as Paul Vanderkill of Manhattan, "one of the richest men in the world", whom nobody seems to recognize (he must be one up on Howard Hughes). While investigating a nightclub on the family property--reputed to be full of "nekked girls"--he discovers it's a respectable joint, a dime-a-dance ballroom, where he falls for Nancy Carroll as an Irish firecracker who thinks he's pulling her leg. Otherwise smart and savvy romantic comedy-drama from Columbia Pictures nevertheless goes awfully heavy on Irish, Hispanic and Yiddish stereotypes (plus a gay dress designer!). Adapted from the Broadway play by Preston Sturges, screenwriters Gertrude Purcell and Maurine Dallas Watkins come up with the oddest shopgirl fantasy: salty, unrefined woman chances upon a lovestruck millionaire--although one who doesn't particularly want marriage (he thinks his dancer should marry a hard-working young fellow, yet he also wants to have her for his own). Boles is a lot younger than he's meant to be, but his attractiveness is just right for the part (one can imagine theatergoers swooning in their seats in 1933!). The picture is rather surprisingly fresh in its depiction of mores and morals, and we get to spend enough quality time with the leads so that they're union is an embraceable one. Not bad; look fast for a young Betty Grable as Lucy. **1/2 from ****
Blues for Sally and her wardrobe, also the makeup dept.
31 March 2024
S02-E02 has the McMillan home broken into again (how do these crooks keep getting into and out of the police commissioner's house without anyone seeing them?). This time, all of Sally's clothes are ripped to shreds. Why? We never quite get an explanation. The central plot here--about an attack on the life of a famous jazz pianist and composer (Keir Dullea)--is really corny, even for this show. Still, there are some funny asides plus a rare moment of tension between Mac and Sgt. Enright after Enright suggests that Sally might be a suspect (after her missing compact turns up in the musician's desk drawer!). Silliest moment: Sally (Susan Saint James) is pushed over a railing into the Bay--in the middle of a crowd!--without anyone seeing who did it (and someone calls out "Susan!", which is even funnier since the lady going overboard was likely a stuntwoman). Good supporting cast includes Edie Adams, Jack Carter, Tom Troupe, Charlotte Rae, and Barbara Rhoades. Also, Mac's nifty portable mini-tape recorder looks like a Sony Walkman precursor!
The Candy Snatchers
(1973)
"I never would have thought of this!" .. "I saw it on television."
30 March 2024
Three kidnappers from Los Angeles, two men and a woman (parked in a van wearing plastic glasses and noses!), stake out a Catholic school girl who apparently hitchhikes home every day from class. Inspired by a true incident in 1968 Florida, the young girl is buried alive with a breathing tube while her snatchers contact Candy's stepfather for a ransom of diamonds--but, of course, he's a weasel who'd rather have Candy's inheritance money more than he'd like to have her alive. Written in shorthand by Bryan Gindoff and director Guerdon Trueblood, this low-budget suspenser (shot for just $250K) has acquired a cult following but isn't very exciting. Robert Maxwell's cinematography is clean and crisp, but the hysteria in the scenario (not just from the kidnappers and the victim but also from the deranged parents of a mute child-witness) is ear-splitting. Top-billed Tiffany Bolling (as ruthless kidnapper Jessie) later denounced the picture, calling it "a horrendous experience." She's right. *1/2 from ****
If things are creaking in the night, you can bet it's just Mildred in the kitchen!
29 March 2024
S02-E01 of "McMillan & Wife" is so outrageous (in the show's usual blasé, low-key way) that it's almost successful as dry camp. Opening with a séance scene (in which the seer introduces us to everyone at the table like a movie narrator), we learn that a widowed friend of Mac and Sally's was tried for the murder of her husband but was acquitted. She's freaked out because he's taken to appearing to her in ghostly form at Madame Zara's to plead, "Why, Evie, why did you murder me?" Carole Cook plays Madame Zara (she also played a phony psychic named Madame Dorian in an episode of "Charlie's Angels" called "The Séance" in 1976), but writer Steve Fisher quickly dispenses with her as Mac investigates the man's demise (he was shot in the face with a shotgun, rendering the corpse unrecognizable à la "Laura"!). Suspects include Cameron Mitchell as nutty magician Harry Hastings whose nightclub act includes a crawling spider and bats flying through the audience; Eileen Brennan as another friend of the dead man and his wife whose own husband is away "in Hong Kong"; and Sharon Acker as the hysterical widow who keeps declaring, "Show yourself, Arthur!" Housekeeper Mildred thinks the killer is the widow; she's also got Sally jumping at creaks in the night. Meanwhile, Sgt. Enright has his toothache temporarily cured by the magician, a man who lives in a lakeside castle with "Open Sesame!" front doors (the nightclub business must be paying off!). Mac's conclusions at the finale don't quite cover all the holes in this teleplay; Fisher and director Robert Michael Lewis devote more time to a sword-and-fist fight while Sally is busy being molested by a mechanical demon.
Report to the Commissioner
(1975)
Great cast (minus Moriarty)
28 March 2024
Investigation into the murder of a female undercover narcotics officer in New York City becomes a past-and-present character study of the only suspect: a hippie white kid/bleeding heart police detective who was following in the footsteps of his "ballbuster" father. Assigned to a tough Brownsville division, the young man is paired with a heartless veteran black cop who has a habit of roughing up pimps and street people. Adaptation of James Mills' novel is gauche badge business on the gritty urban streets, vividly photographed by Mario Tosi. The cast isn't well-served by director Milton Katselas--he's location-minded and technical rather than a filmmaker interested in an actor's technique--and yet there's a lot of interesting talent here: Yaphet Kotto, Susan Blakely, Vic Tayback, Hector Elizondo, Tony King, William Devane, Richard Gere in his first film, and an unrecognizable Bob Balaban (who has a showy scene rolling on a cart through downtown traffic). In the lead, Michael Moriarty is achingly green, his Noo Yawk accent a put-on. His uneven performance nearly derails the picture, while writers Abby Mann and Ernest Tidyman have delivered a most illogical screenplay. ** from ****
Shock Treatment
(1973)
"What are you after?"
27 March 2024
38-year-old businesswoman (Annie Girardot), healthy but exhausted from work, takes the advice of her gay friend and checks into a rehabilitation spa overlooking the ocean. The institute specializes in living cell therapy, the menu consists of seaweed dishes, and a notice on the wall claims "your physical posture reflects the state of your psyche". It all looks good from the outset, but the new arrival's first hint of trouble comes while observing the frightened staff, the other clients, and even some of the locals, all of whom behave strangely...and then her gay friend maybe/maybe not commits suicide after warning her about the clinic's "monstrous horrors". French-Italian co-production, an early precursor to the For God's Sake, Get Out! Thriller genre, has been expertly-crafted for the most part by director and co-writer Alain Jessua, though one does wish the heroine made more sense as a character (she's sleeping with power-mad head honcho Alain Delon one minute and spying on him the next). Still intriguing, with rueful finish. *** from ****
L'insoumis
(1964)
A lovers' fever dream: illogical and far-fetched, though one may say appropriately so...
27 March 2024
With Algiers liberated by the French Loyalists, a legionnaire-deserter, hiding out in a small flat with a young woman and her father, is given an assignment: temporarily kidnap a lady lawyer who is arriving from Lyon to defend two Algerian terrorists. For his part in the abduction, he'll be paid enough money to return to France; however, things don't go as planned... Alain Delon, who really does look and act like the French equivalent to James Dean, carries this chatty, intriguing star-crossed lovers drama a long way; he displays the passionate angst and self-centered inner-conflicts (and the physical beauty) of any Hollywood movie star of this era. Still, the late-coming explanation for the deserter's sudden and dramatic change of plan is unsatisfactory; he says he loves the lady lawyer (Lea Massari), though one can see his decision to free her was a plot device just as his declaration of love is a plot function (this guy is only out for himself). Their roles aren't reversed so much as they are exchanged. Incredibly, the lawyer--who is otherwise married to a very understanding man!--doesn't care that loving the doomed deserter would spell her own demise. Is the movie saying that love and desire turns us all into fools? **1/2 from ****
Nothing Compares
(2022)
"Female vocalist interested in joining folk rock group"
25 March 2024
Born in Dublin to a violently erratic mother, Sinead O'Connor was a troubled youth and Dylan-fan sent to a girl's group home when she was 14, where she met a caring female music teacher who changed Sinead's life; hearing her student sing for the first time, the teacher was so moved she asked Sinead to perform "Evergreen" at her wedding, a powerful moment that started the locals talking. This music biography/documentary from director Kathryn Ferguson through the Showtime Network is well-researched and presented, although anyone who has already seen the excellent VH1 "Behind the Music" special on O'Connor will experience quite a bit of déjà vu. That being said, Sinead's turbulent life is worth revisiting and, of course, the music is still great to hear. Watching how the public and media turned on Sinead after she tore up a picture of the Pope on live TV in 1992 is still tough after all these years, but her resolve in passionate matters of the heart is at once startlingly mature and fascinating. *** from ****
Mr. Harrigan's Phone
(2022)
Angsty coming-of-age tale from a King short story...
25 March 2024
Young man living on the East coast with his widower dad becomes a mentor to retired businessman who enjoys having the lad read to him three times a week. After introducing the initially-reluctant codger to the iPhone, the kid discovers the older man dead---but his texts (ostensibly made from the phone buried with him) keep coming after the funeral. John Lee Hancock directed this not-unusual-enough drama for Netflix, an adaptation of Stephen King's short story from his 2020 collection "If It Bleeds" (King himself was one of the film's producers). There are the usual scenes of High School Hell--and a drug-dealing bully who keeps popping up like a bad penny--that will only seem fresh to newcomers. The rapport between the teenage Craig (Jaeden Martell) and the old man (Donald Sutherland) might've proved wonderful, but these moments are ultimately underwritten (the books they share are returned to the shelf after only two sentences are read aloud). In the lead, quaveringly sensitive Martell is from the Tobey Maguire School: wet, hurt eyes on an angel's face and a tender voice. Martell isn't directed well by Hancock, who wants the kid to wring our guts out with emotion, yet his big scenes (such as crying at the tombstone of his mother) are wringers. The relationship between Craig and his father is also phony, while the students we're introduced to at Craig's school are unceremoniously dropped once the writer has no further use for them. But what of that mysterious phone with the texts from beyond the grave? It's a plot function. It teaches our hero that being wed to our toys isn't necessarily a good marriage. Thank God this kid wasn't addicted to video games. *1/2 from ****
Peter von Kant
(2022)
About as erotic as a hangover...
25 March 2024
Adaptation of Rainer Werner Fassbinder's play and 1972 movie "The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant" with a gender switch: the protagonist is now a barrel-chested, self-centered gay film director in '70s Germany--on the rebound from a failed relationship--who falls in love with a doe-eyed young hustler. France-Belgium co-production (in French and German, with subtitles) from writer-director François Ozon is expectedly talky but unexpectedly bashful (with lots of short robes and strategically-placed furs). For dramatic conflict, there's a sees-it-all/knows-it-all valet, a skinny young houseboy who observes his employer's failings and takes his abuse. The film is about as erotic and passionate as a hangover. * from ****
Who'll Stop the Rain
(1978)
Overpoweringly glum and unseemly...
25 March 2024
Misfired adaptation of Robert Stone's novel "Dog Soldiers" by the author with Judith Rascoe is convincingly unglamorous in appearance but has little entertainment value. Nick Nolte (with a big mop of hair) gives a mediocre performance as the somewhat-reluctant carrier for his drug-dealing Marine buddy in Vietnam-era Saigon; he'll get $1K up front plus another $1K from his friend's wife in San Francisco after he delivers two uncut kilograms of heroin--naturally, he's being followed by maybe/maybe not agents who want to make a deal. Nolte and pill-popping Tuesday Weld have a nicely scratchy rapport in their earliest scenes when she still doesn't know what's going down; in the second half, the stars are unable to carry the rambling script. As the thugs, Anthony Zerbe, Richard Masur and Ray Sharkey are a memorably weird trio, but Laurence Rosenthal's cheesy score (accented by Creedence Clearwater Revival songs, natch) is terrible. ** from ****
"That's what the crow said!"
21 March 2024
S03-E20 is a very funny episode wherein Sophia is feeling lonesome after her best friend has moved away and Dorothy, wanting to help out, invites her to come golfing with she and her new beau (a charming James Karen)--but the couple is unable to shake Sophia's company afterwards. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose are in the running for Fashion Show Chairman of the Tinkerbells (Blanche: "You can't be Fashion Show Chairman, Rose, you thought Giorgio Armani was a puppet on Ed Sullivan!"). Bea Arthur has to take a lot of good-natured ribbing here, but it's nice to see her being romantic with a man (the studio audience clearly appreciates it too), and Betty White gets a hilarious St. Olaf story about Sonia Klingenhoffer ("You two come back here or I'll be forced to follow you to your rooms and act it out with sock puppets!").
How did this script ever get the green light?
21 March 2024
S03-E14 of "The Golden Girls", co-written by series mainstay Terry Grossman and Kathy Speer, is so badly misconceived from the get-go that I can think of no way to fix the problem except for throwing out this script altogether. Blanche's long-estranged daughter Rebecca--a real beauty who once worked as a professional model--comes to visit. She's still a pretty girl, only now she's vastly overweight, causing Sophia to go into a barrage of 'funny' fat jokes (which the studio audience eats up, no pun intended). Blanche works hard avoiding the issue until Rebecca introduces the ladies to her fiancé, who also makes fat jokes (and this time the audience doesn't laugh). There's such a double standard at work here that it makes one wince. In the end, Blanche talks her daughter out of marrying the jerk and to accept herself as she is--although, ironically, when the character of Rebecca returns in later episodes, she is played by a different, much thinner actress.
Strong 5th season episode--finally!
20 March 2024
S05-E05 is a first-rate, surprisingly suspenseful and exciting episode: a whodunit set in the hospital. While staking out the supplier for a major drug kingpin in San Francisco, Mac saves Sgt. Enright's life after pushing him back from an oncoming bullet, getting shot in his side. He's rushed to the hospital but, while awaiting surgery, Mac sees two faceless people in green doctors' smocks smother a man to death with a pillow in an adjacent room. Nobody believes his story two days later when he's recuperating in bed, though Sally gives him the benefit of the doubt (and that's really all Susan Saint James is required to do here, aside from questioning patient Liam Dunn whilst wearing a perplexing short wig). It's strange now (and kind of sad) seeing Rock Hudson near-death in the hospital, being wheeled around on a gurney, but he gives a good performance here. The roster of suspicious-acting doctors and nurses make for a fine list of maybe-murderers, the supporting cast (including Michael Constantine and Lola Albright) is solid, and writer Richard Danus delivers a neat denouement. Good show!
Untamed Youth
(1957)
Go, Go, Calypso!
20 March 2024
Cotton work farm in Texas for co-ed criminals is run by shady boss who has married the much-older female judge in town just to get the law on his side; the judge's son gets a job on the farm driving the harvester and smells a rat (or maybe it's just the dog food the rock-loving juvies are made to eat). Fruity teen opus from director Howard W. Koch and a slumming Warner Bros. Is poorly-written, acted and presented, with a Mamie Van Doren calypso number tacked on at the end that goes on forever. Drive-in dreck was originally condemned by the Catholic Legion of Decency! Mamie-addicts will up the rating a notch or two. *1/2 from ****
Sonny: "Notice anything different about me?" Cher: "Yeah, you're three inches shorter without shoes on."
18 March 2024
S01-E08 of a revamped "Scooby-Doo" cartoon series, with two seasons worth of episodes running a seat-numbing 60mns and featuring a roster of guest stars. Here, it's Sonny and Cher's turn to team up with the kid detectives while the whole gang is stranded on the sea-engulfed land of a dilapidated hotel, one supposedly haunted by the ghost of a Shark God. But never mind all that, how are Sonny and Cher when performing their own voiceovers? They don't sing (a missed opportunity), also Cher is drawn poorly--and she keeps referring to herself as an "old wife" or an "old woman"! However, some of the familiar S&C banter, derived from their TV show, has a little snap. Still, it took 13 writers to come up with this teleplay, one that doesn't even allow Scooby-Doo anything funny to do.
Poor Cinderella
(1934)
"Hear Ye Good People! The King Invites You to the Public Ball To-Night...No Cover Charge."
17 March 2024
Max Fleischer and Paramount give Betty Boop the Cinderella treatment in this 10-plus minute short presented in lovely Cinecolor (the Fleischer Studio's first color cartoon). Betty sings "I'm just a poor Cinderella"--and her Fairy Godmother refers to her as a "kind and gentle thing"--but we know from her sashay walk that she's just pretending to be an innocent. Playing the scrub-girl taunted by her ugly stepsisters, Betty/Cindy sobs for less than a second before her wish to attend the Prince's Ball is granted--with the proviso to be out of there by midnight. Some funny visual jests: the trumpeter blowing so hard on his instrument that his pants become briefs (showing off his hairy legs!); the Prince's sword accidentally giving one of the stepsisters a goose; Betty sliding down the castle bannister to get to her coach before it changes back to a pumpkin. The 3D effect is quite stunning, as is Betty's red hair and the Prince's blue eyelids! I never understood Betty Boop's universal appeal (she seems to attract the die-hard affection of all races, creeds and orientation); she's resourceful and sexy, if never quite as sassy as one might hope.
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