tnt videovisions Reviews

Ghosts of Mars (2001)

I was in this mess!

[24 February 2002]

I was an extra (a zombie) in this mess of a film - I was visiting my folks in Albuquerque, and just for fun, me and a friend became extras when they were filming on the reservation in New Mexico. The production was sooo cheesy that we knew, then, that the film would be awful - and John Carpenter must have known it would be bad because he walked around in a bad mood all the time and just behaved VERY badly. Or, perhaps he realised that he's a bad director now, making worse films than Roger Corman, and that's the reason for his 'moods.' The catering was VERY good, and we made a lot of friends on the set. I didn't even cash my paycheck - I wanted to keep it since it says "Ghosts Of Mars" on it.

Anyway, skip this dreck and watch an early JC film, when he was a real director. Now, he's no better, and often much worse, than "made for video" directors... the next step in his sad decline will probably be doing direct-to-video Christian films with Markie Post.

Supertrain: Express to Terror (1979) Season 1, Episode 1

"Supertrain" pilot movie re-titled for video

[10/10 · 3 August 2001]

Those familiar with NBC's short-lived and big-time failure "Supertrain" series from 1979 will immediately know what they've gotten into when "Express to Terror" starts to roll. The copy of "Express to Terror" that I have seen is a VHS release on the PRISM label. The quality of the transfer is good and I believe it is out-of-print now. As mentioned, this is simply the two-hour pilot movie that launched the "Supertrain" series. It is a rather weak attempt too, even by "Supertrain" standards. The story involves Steve Lawrence playing a guy with a gambling problem who is returning to L.A. on Supertrain and is working for Stella Stevens. Stevens plays a Hollywood agent who is using the trip on Supertrain to try and put together a movie deal with George Hamilton and Vicki Lawrence, who are on board under the credit 'Special Guest Appearances.' Neither George Hamilton or Vicki Lawrence have much of any screen time in the entire movie. In fact, I'm not sure Hamilton and Lawrence deliver more than a handful of line between themselves. The movie centers around Steven Lawrence's apparent troubles with the mob. He's borrowed money and thinks his time to repay has run out and now the mob is trying to kill him. Bumming along with Steve Lawrence is Don Meredith. Meredith plays Vicki Lawrence's husband, he is jealous of her possible relationship with George Hamilton. Steve Lawrence's job is to keep Meredith away from Hamilton and allow Stella Stevens' character the time to put together the movie deal. The plot gets rather muddy by the end, with Don Stroud thrown in as a person apparently trying to steal Steve Lawrence's identity...though considering his troubles who'd want it? Fred Williamson turns out to be the person who is hired to "off" Steven Lawrence, by literally putting him off Supertrain. It's not "Murder on the Orient Express" and not even a good "Love Boat" clone. To introduce the series, Keenan Wynn is shown announcing he is devoting his remaining years and large fortune to create Supertrain and revolutionize rail travel. Wynn is along for this first trip, but does very little. Throughout the proceedings, we are introduced to the various people who made up Supertrain's crew and regular cast.

Annie McGuire (1988–1989)

Short-Lived Mary Tyler Moore Series

[13 July 2001]

Running for just six thirty-minute episodes in late 1988, this is a unique Mary Tyler Moore offering. Following her short-lived "Mary" sitcom from the mid-'80s, Mary returned to CBS in '88 with "Annie McGuire."

The show is a departure from the norm in that it really isn't a situation comedy, nor is it really a drama. The basic story concerns Mary's character "Annie McGuire," who recently re-married and commutes from NYC to Bayonne, New Jersey. She has a cranky very patriotic conservative father-in-law and a very liberal idealistic mother. These two characters drive a few of the show's plots.

Recently reviewing the set of six shows, I found them to all be very heavily message or themed stories. One episode, for example, follows Mary's attempts to find employment for a person who attempts to mug her. The twist here is that the mugger is in a wheelchair and Mary's character is frustrated at the lack of opportunities for handicapped people. Get the picture? Most episodes play out like this and for those who loved "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and even the short-lived "Mary," this series was both different and a bit of a disappointment.

In Search of Historic Jesus (1979)

More Shick-Sunn Fun

[3/10 · 13 July 2001]

The biggest problem with "In Search of Historic Jesus" is that there is very little search to it at all. Shick-Sunn produced these "documentary" films in the 1970s and just into the '80s, which featured interviews with "experts" and discussion of "science" and "facts" to make a case for whatever the title of the film was looking to cash in on.

Sadly, "Historic Jesus" is really little more than a third-rate dramatization of the life of Christ. Unlike Shick-Sunn's more superior "In Search of Noah's Ark" which spends the majority of its running time discussing the possibility that the ark is resting on the earth today and where that might be, this film is basically the story of Jesus with no effort made to prove or disprove his existence. The famed Shroud of Turrin is mentioned, but little other detective work is given much screen time.

For fans of these quasi-documentary films like "Jupiter Menace" and "In Search of Bigfoot", etc., this movie doesn't offer much.

The Jupiter Menace (1982)

Great Fun!

[8/10 · 14 June 2001]

One hopes that George Kennedy was either well paid or was unaware of the full intent of those behind "The Jupiter Menace." In his defense, Kennedy appears only a few times throughout this "documentary" and doesn't embarrass himself to any great extent. Among the crop of Bigfoot, Bermuda Triangle, and UFO "documentaries" made in the 1970s and into the '80s, "Jupiter Menace" is a real gem. The film reveals its dire message that an alignment of planets in the, then near future, 1982 will start a period of turmoil on Earth that will reach its peak in 2000 causing a basic end of the world as we know it. The film is a prime example of this silly scare genre and includes goofy re-enactments and interviews with "experts" that are taking facts from Bible prophecy and/or psychic visions. Certainly more amusing today, now that we've passed all the dates foretold in the movies as being doomsday, this movie will entertain those curious. Particularly fun is the near-guarantee given by nearly everyone interviewed in the film that May 5th, 2000 is the certain end of the happy existence we've enjoyed on planet Earth. Also fun and equally frightening are the interviews with survivalists in the Ozarks and Illinois that are preparing to survive the deadly days ahead of us all in the 1980s. One must wonder, where are those folks now??? Sadly, they're likely still packed away in a bunker somewhere! :)

Rollover (1981)

"Rollover" and fall asleep...

[3/10 · 20 March 2001]

Possibly attempting to do for the world of finance what she'd done to nuclear power in "The China Syndrome"(1979), this Jane Fonda melodrama is a poor investment for any serious movie fan.

The story is very hard to follow and poorly constructed with shallow characters. The story is not terribly easy to grasp for the average person in my opinion and not presented to the audience clearly enough-nor well enough to garner much interest and/or curiosity. Fonda appears bored, while still trying to appear smart and glamorous, in her role. Kris Kristofferson is simply a case of very bad casting. Despite some efforts to make him physically appear like a big-time banker, he comes off flat and stiff in his role. Whether talking down a bank president or talking Fonda into bed, all his lines are delivered in a blank monotone style that conveys nothing. We also are never given much background or motivation for the events and doings of the people wandering about this epic of high finance. Fonda and Kristofferson's first meeting isn't much of an icebreaker, yet the two are bedding down together by their second or third encounter.

The film is directed by Alan J. Pakula and it looks much like other works for him. Secret meetings in parking lots and suspect late night boardroom conferences may appear to be the things that make up a good thriller, but here they are simply padding between the great nothingness that amounts to two-hours of dull slow paced cliche filled dialog from weak characters that you never grow to care much about. The movie's heavy-handed and overly-dramatic musical score makes many scenes nearly laughable.

There's little to recommended beyond those morbidly curious to see a bad movie, which is why I obtained a copy of it. On that level, it does pay a modest dividend.

Angel of H.E.A.T. (1983)

An Odd Comedy-Adventure

[3/10 · 4 March 2001]

Adult-film-star Marilyn Chambers makes an attempt at an R-rated comedy-adventure in "Angel of H.E.A.T." I don't know if this movie actually played theatrically or went straight to video. I only remember it from the Vestron Video, now defunct, release on tape and disc from the early '80s and have never seen it appear since on video.

There is a fair amount of nudity from Marilyn, but the film really centers on its story and not on sexual situations. The story seems a bit hard to follow and somewhat choppy. Marilyn is sent on an undercover mission to stop a world takeover plot. It sounds better than it actually plays out however and this feature ends up seeming longer than its actual 90+ minutes. I assume the LaserDisc represents the best this movie ever looked, though its transfer is pretty soft and blurry making one strain to make out details in the movie's many night/dark scenes. The movie is presented full-frame with mono sound.

I would say it is required viewing strictly for hardcore Marilyn Chambers fans, no pun intended, to see her in a non-hardcore movie. The only other non-xXx or mainstream feature I know from her is the 1978 horror movie "Rabid." "Rabid" is certainly Marilyn's best non-adult performance, but "Angel of H.E.A.T" is a semi-interesting curiosity item.