craigh01 Reviews

Quarantine (2008)

Terrible, stupid, and boring

[1/10 · 25 October 2018]

No horror, seemingly no plot. I saw REC and didn't like it all that much but this was just awful. Maybe I should watch REC again.

The new reporter screaming all the time was so annoying, I could barely stand it. I just waited until the end to see if something interesting happened - it didn't.

The few jump scares were pitiful.

The beginning looked somewhat promising, but I hate these "found footage" movies or whatever you call them. Still, seemed OK to start. Then they got inside the building, and nothing made sense.

And it's so obvious they bend over backward on the camera work to find excuses for the filming to continue. Like "I need light! I need light!" about 15 times. Then the camera falls down and all the action seems to happen on the floor, right in front of the camera.

Painful to watch. Save your time...

Intruders (2015)

Enjoyable movie!

[8/10 · 24 June 2018]

Yes, as others have said, it's the old female revenge meme, but with a different take. I didn't really like the ending, I could thing of a few different ways to end the movie that would have been more satisfying.

So, this woman lives in this house, and apparently she has inherited a lot of money. And her brother dies. Now she's alone. And she has agoraphobia, she's afraid to leave the house.

Then, people come in to steal her money. What the intruders don't know is that... she has some, shall we say... problems... !

I search long and hard to find a good movie, usually to be disappointed, but this is a good one. As others have said, it's more thriller than horror.

Needless to say, problems and difficulties ensue for all involved...

Fun to the very end.

Backtrack (I) (2015)

Great movie!

[8/10 · 3 December 2017]

This was a really interesting 90 minutes. A few plot problems but it grabbed my attention right away trying to figure out what was going on.

A little slow moving but fun, with a few scares and a lot of twists.

I don't really understand the bad reviews, and people trying to figure out and disagree with the motives of ghosts.

So, it's a mystery with a little bit of horror sprinkled in. I know some of the scares were old hat but I liked them anyway.

I don't see why everyone is raving about the acting of Adrien Brody. It wasn't that great I think any decent actor could have pulled it off. Didn't matter, it was the story that was good. I did really love the small part of Sam Neil though! Who throws in one of the first interesting twists.

Possible spoiler: everyone is comparing this to other movies, but the one I think it's most like is "Stir of Echoes" with Kevin Bacon.

Overall: if you don't like slow movers, you might not like it, but I thought it was great. Just hang in there for a while it gets better and better until the very end.

The Invitation (I) (2015)

Good movie, could have been great

[8/10 · 17 November 2017]

Guests get invited to a dinner party, and problems ensue...

Really good, really suspenseful, keeps you on the edge of your seat until the very end. Some nice twists as well!

It could have been great, except for:

1. The dinner talk sounded phony. Not real. They should have actually gone to some real dinner parties and recorded the conversations to come up with something more realistic. Some of it was cringy.

2. Will was too suspicious at the very beginning. From the moment he got there, he's always frowning, unhappy. He should have started out less suspicious and gradually built it up. He should have been more friendly and outgoing at the beginning. Of course, he's the hero so he needs to start getting more and more suspicious later.

3. The talk of the cult leader didn't sound real, except the scene at the end. They should have researched some real cult leaders and maybe made a composite of them (Jim Jones, the Waco, Texas David Koresh, others).

Other than that it was great, the suspense starts out slowly and builds up until you are sitting on the edge of your seat. Really good! Really fun and great ending. John Carroll Lynch as "Pruit" was especially good. Mysterious stranger, and you didn't like him from the start. He played it beautifully! I love actors that can really act, like he's a completely different person then when you see him in other movies. (Unlike, say, Clint Eastwood who pretty much just plays himself, doesn't even have to act...) If I had to vote for best actor, I would vote for John Carroll Lynch in this movie. Also Lindsay Burdge as "Sadie" was great! (Any reminders of Sexy Sadie of the Manson Family at all???)

Overall very good. It's hard to find a good movie these days, finally found one! Slightly upsetting, unnerving, and nail-biting-inducing though...

V/H/S (2012)

Weird horror movie

[6/10 · 18 September 2017]

Well my one big complaint is the camera-work (the "found footage" genre) was making me dizzy. I was so happy at the parts where it became normal instead of jumping all over the place. So if that's going to bother you, you should probably skip it.

Not really all that good, more of a collection of weird short stories. It held my interest though. It was good enough to keep my attention to the end. I wish they would have expanded on some of the stories a little more. They could have made it, say, 3 short stories and gave some explanation of what was going on.

So, it could have been an 8 if it (a) get rid of the nauseating camera-work (b) expand on some of the short stories and give some background as to "why"? or "what were they doing"? (c) make it longer to give time to give more background. I bet the writers actually didn't know why, they'd have to put a lot more thought into it! Also, parts of it are quite gruesome, so if you don't like that, it would be another reason to skip it. It's not a stupid torture movie though. I don't mind a little gore if there's a reason and story behind it. Also it's not a slasher movie with some guy chasing pretty girls around with a knife. Leave that for the teenagers I guess.

Species (1995)

Fun and entertaining low-brow movie!

[8/10 · 4 June 2017]

Not all movies have to be intense and hard to figure out. Sometimes they can just be fun, and this one is.

You have to suspend disbelief on a few technical scientific things, such as sending a message from SETI into outer space, remember that radio waves travel at the speed of light, and the nearest star to use is 4.3 light years away. So at BEST it would take 8 years to send/receive a message, but most stars in our galaxy are 50,000 light years away or so, so the message to one of those would take 100,000 years to send/receive.

Then we can't create DNA of a human, how are we going to create the DNA of an Alien species from scratch given just the data about it? But don't worry about those details, just have fun with it, watch the pretty little half-alien girl kill with much gore.. And the team of experts they send to catch the now fully-grown woman/alien is kind of fun too. Very cliché characters, but still fun.

I like the deep, hard-to-understand movies as well, but this one kept me entertained all the way through. Not the greatest movie ever made but not boring either. A fun B-movie type science fiction/horror movie, but with good actors.

I'm giving it an 8, which to me means, "liked it", whereas a 6 to me would mean "it was OK". It was more than OK so I give it an 8.

Starry Eyes (2014)

What's with all the good reviews?

[2/10 · 25 May 2017]

Comparing it to Rosemary's Baby??? Not even close! Rosemary's Baby had a plot, a REASON, an EXPLANATION, it made SENSE! This movie makes no sense. I'm only giving it 2 stars since it kept me watching until the end, hoping to make some sense out of it.

At the beginning it seemed pretty good. Seemed like it was leading up to something interesting. But then it dragged on and on. Here's the spoiler: NOTHING HAPPENS. Other than the gory murders at the end. And some stupid cult yelling "Hail Astreaus!" (The subtitles misspelled the Greek God I think it was). Sort of like the slightly corny "Hail Satan!" at the end of Rosemary's Baby. Except in Rosemary's Baby they slowly let you learn about the cult, the people in it, what they were doing, what their origins were, and then let it all hang out in the end. Here, nothing. Just leads up to the end with a cult with no explanation, no background, nothing.

If you like to see people's face get smashed into pulp with a dumbbell you can skip to close to the end. It's completely pointless. I don't mind seeing gore like that - I'd rather not - but if it has a point and a plot and makes sense then I don't mind.

One little technical point. It's not that easy to stab someone to death. Especially a small girl stabbing a medium-size man. Normally they would fight back, not just sit there going "why?".

One thing I will say is the lead actress Alex Essoe did an AMAZING job of acting, wow! She was a great actress, even acting being an actor. She was great. Too bad the rest of the movie was worthless.

Evolution (2015)

Boring and pointless

[1/10 · 16 May 2017]

This movie was so bad I just had to put in a review. I like some "art" movies, I like some movies that are hard to understand. I'm a 59-year-old programmer, not a 15-year-old.

This movie had some pretty scenes but I can see that on National Geographic. It just dragged on and on and on, and I kept watching just to see if there was some point to it. Who were these women? What were they doing? Were they aliens come to start a new race? You never find out.

Maybe if all the boys would have grabbed some of those women's scalpels and ganged up on them it might have been good. Or give us SOME IDEA of what the point is...

Total waste of time.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

Don't waste your time

[4/10 · 31 December 2016]

Well, it started out interesting, with the corpse of this beautiful and strange woman to be autopsied. Brought back from the scene of a mass murder.

The premise of the movie, once you find out what it's about, it just dumb. Not scary, you don't get to care much about the characters, the mystery is, again, dumb.

On top of that, the whole thing is unbelievable, I always try to suspend disbelief but this one was just too much.

I watched it until the end, to see if something interesting would happen, or some great mystery would be solved, but was disappointed.

Stonehearst Asylum (2014)

Really enjoyable and entertaining movie!

[8/10 · 10 December 2016]

Really liked it. It's not horror by any means. It's really enjoyable sort of in the way "The Prestige" was. Some twists and turns, a little bit of humor, a few slightly gruesome parts but nothing horrible.

The acting was top notch, especially Ben Kingsly as "Silas Lamb", the man in charge of Stonehearst Asylum, and of course Michael Caine was great as always. And Eliza Graves and Edward Newgate in the leading roles did a great job.

Held my interest from beginning to end. Satisfying ending. (I didn't say "happy ending", you'll have to find that our for yourself!).

My only one slight criticism is that the "crazy" people aren't as really crazy as you'll find in a real mental ward, I've unfortunately been in one (as a visitor) and some of the people in there were truly scary. (Other than "Arthur" who was scary in a physically dangerous way).

I really recommend this movie. I spend 2 hours on IMDb searching for a 90-minute movie that's half good, and half the time I get a complete loser, this one was really worth it.

Black Swan (2010)

Boring

[4/10 · 4 December 2016]

No real spoilers here but just in case I'm checking the box. Possibly a spoiler for a DIFFERENT movie.

I don't know where all these great reviews come from. We have a poor mentally disturbed girl struggling with her sanity while she tries to dance ballet as the white swan (and the black swan).

I am a 58 year old male professional so it's not like this is coming from a 13 year old (who DEFINITELY would not like it!).

She's having mental problems, so what? The excitement and suspense was not there. At least, in movies like Single White Female, someone gets killed with a high heel to the eye! Does anyone get killed with a high heel to they eye in this movie? No! (That's my one plot hole for Single White Female, I don't think it's possible to kill someone with a high heal.. no way it would reach the brain..., but anyway..)

The relationship with her mother - couldn't care less... I guess the ending was pretty good. That was the only part even slightly interesting.

I kept waiting for something interesting to happen and it never did, until the very end.

Ex Machina (2014)

Really fun movie!!!

[7/10 · 11 July 2015]

If you're not a science fiction fan or interesting in programming, MAYBE this movie MIGHT not be for you. Not sure. I'm a programmer so I was totally into it.

The thing I liked about it is, it caught my attention and I had my eyes glued to the screen the whole time. A little bit of a mystery, but I did guess some things ahead of time (it was pretty obvious really).

I never thought I would like a movie about an AI-machine girl, and I would have skipped it, but I happened to see the trailer and it intrigued me.

A lot of people are finding "plot holes", I think there are explanations for most if not all of them. Watch the ending, the very ending scene carefully...

I search and search and search for good movies, and on most of them, when it's done I feel like I wasted my time. So I spend 2 hours searching for a 90 minute "good movie", and when I find a REALLY good one I'm so happy! I didn't waste my 108 minutes! Don't read any spoiler reviews before you watch this, don't read any message threads, it will ruin the suspense.

Some people are complaining it's too shallow of a treatment of AI, it should be explored, more deeply, I say, who cares! It was fun to watch.

We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)

Complete waste of time

[1/10 · 21 June 2015]

This review doesn't have any true spoilers in my opinion but may be borderline so I'm checking the spoiler box "just in case".

This is nothing but a boring movie. The movie jumps back and forth on the time line for seemingly no reason, which makes it confusing and you have to use a lot of mental effort to keep the story straight. I don't mind a few flashbacks but when every 5 seconds you are jumping to a different part of the time line, it's just annoying. I liked it in Memento, but there it had a purpose (I think, to get you in the same mental state as the character: what's going on?).

(Hint; to tell which time frame you are in, look at her hair length).

Other than the artsy jumping around, there's not much to it. A really bad boy gets worse and worse. Slow moving, depressing, no point.

And, as other reviewers mentioned, plot holes: why didn't she just move? There is some side show at her new job that had little relationship to the story.

The ending was very unbelievable. (More plot holes but I can't say what without spoiling it).

At the end I felt like, once again, based on high reviews, I had wasted my time. I'm about ready to give up trying to find a good movie.

Pi (1998)

Boring, tedious, pretentious, cliché, complete waste of time

[3/10 · 13 June 2015]

How do movies like this get a 7.5 rating and cause me to waste 84 minutes of my time? I'm not a mathematician but I know a little about science, I already know about the Fibonacci sequence and how it appears in nature, PI, etc. They just threw a bunch of mathematical clichés and threw it all together into a stupid, irritating mess that made no sense.

I was waiting and waiting for something interesting to happen, nothing ever did. The ending was completely ridiculous and unbelievable.

What I want to know is how does a movie like this get a 7.5 on IMDb? OK I started out giving it a 1, but in retrospect, since I'm still thinking about it, I'll up it to a 3.

Unless you really like artsy movies I'd skip it...

Trainspotting (1996)

It's on my "mandatory" list

[9/10 · 22 May 2015]

Mandatory means you have GOT to see this movie! Now, I wanted my 17-year old son to see it and his mother said "no no!", she thinks it's going to make him want to take drugs. Trust me, after watching this movie you'll NEVER get the idea of trying heroin. (Not that you would anyway!).

I watched it twice, and I rarely do that. Totally engrossing, you won't look away from beginning to end. So many movies, after it's over I feel like I wasted my time. With this one, it was on my mind for days afterwards.

There are funny parts, horrifying parts, good drama. You won't see anything blowing up in this movie if that's what you like...

Robert Carlyle as "Begbie" was awesome, I loved him (and hated him... not a nice guy...). It was like the Kramer portrait in Seinfeld: "He's a loathsome, offensive brute. Yet I can't look away!".

The Eye (2002)

Why all the good reviews?

[2/10 · 9 May 2015]

Just a boring boring movie with no point at all. No deep thoughts. People said this was scary? I guess there were a few slightly scary scenes. The whole thing was just slow, and ultimately pointless.

I do like some Japanese horror films (this one is in Hong Kong), but this one is just lame. I can't understand these good reviews. I feel like I wasted my time on this.

At least throw in some twists or a mystery, like the American remake "The Uninvited" of the Korean horror film "A Tale of Two Sisters". (Actually I liked the American version of that better, but both were good). Those weren't all that scary either but at least there was a point to it.

Just slow, boring, and no fun. I can't say much more about it without giving a spoiler.

The Man with Two Brains (1983)

Dr. Hfuhruhurr & Mrs. Uumellmahaye are HILARIOUS

[10/10 · 1 May 2015]

I've seen this movie at least 10 times. This movie is completely silly and ridiculous with no redeeming qualities at all, so if you are looking for a high-brow movie this may not be for you!

It's just one side splitting laugh after another, and it's not like I'm a teenager, I'm a older man who normally likes more serious fare.

I guess you could compare it to Young Frankenstein. Except instead of a castle, Dr. Necessiter performs his experiments in a castle-like condo, where he argues with his neighbor about the noise (her TV is always up too loud!). (The walls in these condo's are paper thin, you know...)

Kathleen Turner is excellent as the scheming Femme Fatale and Steve Martin is at his wacky best: performing surgery with his "get that cat out of here!" line... and "hand me the metzenbaum scissors!".

If you liked Young Frankenstein, and/or if you like Steve Martin at all, you'll love this movie!

The Gift (2000)

Really enjoyable horror/murder mystery

[8/10 · 19 April 2015]

This was a really enjoyable movie. Some people are complaining about plot holes, just ignore that, there may be some minor plot holes but they didn't take away from the fun of this move.

It's not really a horror movie at all, kind of a ghost movie, and there are some jump-scares. Those were fun too.

I was skeptical that Keanu Reeves could pull off the part of a nasty wife-beating hillbilly, but he really did a good job! You could hardly recognize him. Maybe he's a good actor after all. The only place he started looking like the normal Keanu Reeves was in the court scenes, I guess without all the hillbilly clothes it's harder to project that image.

Some people said they guessed the murderer, I had suspicions but I was never really sure. In fact I settled on the wrong person. They put a few false clues out there to throw you off the track.

The part of the mentally disturbed Buddy Cole is played beautifully by Giovanni Ribisi. Wait until you find out what the "blue diamond" is all about...! Overall the acting was great, it really got me "into" the movie, into the feel of living in that little town.

A lot of horrifying, disturbing parts, not for the kids! I gave it 8 out of 10. If I felt like I hadn't wasted my time, it gets at least a 6. This one I even watched a second time with my wife. Normally a multiple-watch movie would get a 9 or 10 from me, but it didn't quite make it, close though...

Open Grave (2013)

Great movie! Mostly a mystery

[7/10 · 21 March 2015]

This is more of a mystery than a horror film. And it's fun watching the movie trying to figure out what's going on.

So the basic synopsis is, this guy wakes up in a pit full of bodies, comes out, finds all these people. And everyone has lost their memory, no one has any memory of the past.

A little before the end, I finally figured out the mystery. (Usually I can guess it a lot sooner).

I think the title "Open Grave" probably scares away too many people, thinking it's some kind of grisly horror movie like Saw or something. It's not like that. Well I guess the pit full of dead bodies was a little grisly... But that wasn't the point of it...

The point is, why are they there, what are they doing? Who's the good guy and who's the bad guy? And who is that creature locked up in a shed, being fed by another woman who has total amnesia? Bottom line: this movie is NOT a waste of time to watch (like so many others I've suffered through).

Sinister (I) (2012)

Not worth the time

[3/10 · 21 March 2015]

You can read the other reviews for more of a synopsis, I'll leave that out, other than to say it's kind of a mix of a supernatural thriller and one of those "found footage" movies.

The jump scares didn't scare me much. The story was flat, and they didn't make me care about the characters. Like most supernatural horror movies, the supernatural premise was just dumb. Well, for example, I liked Occulus, whose premise was that this mirror was haunted by a spirit. OK, it was dumb, but other parts of the movie made it fun to watch. But with Sinister, the supernatural premise was also dumb, but there was nothing else cool about it to make it fun to watch.

So, this movie has a dumb premise AND it was no fun to watch. If you want to be horrified by awful "found footage" murder scenes you might like it.

I was just waiting and waiting for something interesting to happen, and it never did. Near the end I figured out the supernatural basis of everything, and it was a real letdown.

A lot of scenes make no sense, I'm sure someone else will lay them out, I can't do it since I didn't check the "spoilers" check box.

Overall I got to the end and felt like I just wasted my time...

Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

Completely wonderful movie

[9/10 · 19 March 2015]

Just some background: I'm a 57 year old man, and although I like science fiction, I generally do not like fantasy movies. This movie seemed like a fantasy, my expectations were low, but since everyone rated it so highly I thought I'd give it a chance.

Boy was I in for a surprise. This movie was incredible in every way. The "fantasy" parts really were just a sideshow to the true horror that was going on in the Spanish civil war.

It was sad, it was touching, it was horrible, it was engrossing, there was hate, cruelty, and revenge.

The character of Mercedes played by Maribel Verdú was my favorite. A tough and brave woman in every way, yet kind as well.

My main point is, don't think this is just one of those kiddy fantasy movies. So, it's not a fantasy movie, like, for example, the Neverending Story. Yes there are fantasy and magical parts woven in, part of the mind of the little girl (or is it real?).

When I see a movie and I'm thinking about it for several days afterwards, I know it was a good one. I whole heartedly recommend it.

Let Me In (I) (2010)

Remake of "Let the Right One In" just does't cut it

[5/10 · 21 February 2015]

I give "Let the Right One In" 9 stars, but this one only 5, and it's hard to say why.

This is an unusual remake as they followed the plot almost TOTALLY from the original Swedish version. I guess maybe its only because I saw the Swedish version first that I give it only 5 stars. I can't really explain why, I mean, even the dialogue is almost the same word for word! I think it's something about those Swedish characters and how they live their life there, interacting with the main characters, that makes the original better.

OK, so as the other reviews said, the boy meets a 12 year old girl, "but she's been 12 for a long time..."..

My advice would be to skip this one and just watch "Let the right one in". What a wonderful movie! It's a little slow at first, I almost turned it off but my wife said, "just watch a little longer", and boy was I happy that I did, what a great movie.

"Let Me In" I guess if you haven't seen the original you may like it.

Stir of Echoes (1999)

Really good horror movie

[9/10 · 21 February 2015]

Well it's not as much horror as it is a mystery.

The acting was great all around, especially Kevin Bacon. The scenes of life in a Chicago working class neighborhood, and the interaction with the local neighbors and cops was all believable and interesting, kind of like "The Deer Hunter".

The mystery builds and you are guessing the whole time whats going on as Kevin Bacon (as Tom Witzky) slowly appears to go crazy...

The title of the movie is a clue, there are some supernatural things going in...

Really fun, engrossing movie. I would recommend it to everyone.

Body Parts (1991)

Awesome mad scientist movie

[9/10 · 20 February 2015]

Jeff Lahey gets a transplanted arm from a serial killer...

Then, he begins, (of course) to have "problems" with his new arm...

I can't see how this is getting such a low rating. It was completely entertaining from beginning to end. I watched it 3 times...

It's not really a "horror" movie so to speak, although there are some slightly disturbing scenes, just a fun movie to watch. If you want a high-brow movie this is not it.

Jeff Lahey's acting is not all that great (as usual, except he was great in Lawnmower man). All of the rest of the acting was good, a few exciting scenes, a little bit of a mystery gets unveiled as you go. Just all around a fun movie.

Dead Again (1991)

Too Unbelievable - Great Idea, bad movie

[3/10 · 13 February 2015]

I agree with the guy a few reviews ago that pointed out all the plot holes (quite a few of which I didn't notice).

It's just TOO unbelievable. You try to suspend disbelief just to have fun but couldn't do it.

The ending was incredibly silly. The twists seemed pointless. The acting was very good all around, though. It DID hold my attention until the very end, which is a plus. Once it was over I felt like I wasted my time.

If you want a good mystery with great twists, watch Wild Things. The first twist in THAT movie was a shock! This movie, the twists were like, yeah, OK, why??