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Reviews
Seabiscuit (2003)
good, almost great.
Seabiscuit is the kind of movie producers love. It will make the more emotional in the audience cry, and even well before it comes out, it is said to be the first Oscar contender of the year. This IS a true story, but it is packaged in such a way that audience members are supposed to clutch their tissues to their chests and shake their heads because they have been so touched. That being said, this movie succeeds spectacularly at manipulating an audience. I came in with a very cynical attitude, but i must say even I got the chills when Seabiscuit beat War Admiral. Where this movie fails is after they have got the audiences hearts beating with exciting race scenes. They let it drag to much and soon after the races your heartbeat has settled and then you are struck with another exciting race. By the final race, I was just too tired to care anymore. Tobey Maguire was his usual self in this part, which is not that bad. I was pleasantly surprised with Elizabeth Banks in the lead female role. She had a quiet awe about her through the whole film which was very effective. Chris Cooper and William H. Macy were their usual flawless selves in parts written for them. I could have done without the voice-overs about the Depression, i thought they were not tied together with the rest of the film well enough to stay relevant. This was a good movie with a few minor flaws that, if corrected, could have made it great. 7/10
The Princess Bride (1987)
TRUE BRILLIANCE
This movie is absolutely wonderful. It combines a little bit of every genre and a very young Fred Savage to create a great movie that makes you happy to exist. I grew up on this movie, I know every word. Could anyone ask for anything more fun? When I am sick or even "sick" i love just laying in bed and watching this movie. Any movie that has the line "Where did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had?" is a wonderful movie. Go watch it today and have fun storming the castle while you are at it.
10/10
Swimfan (2002)
This movie tastes terrible...
Well, this is the worst movie ever made, plain and simple. I was going to go to a Hitchcock outdoor film festival, but it was rained out, so I sauntered over to the adjacent movie theater and decided I wanted to see a really bad movie, so of course I chose Swimfan. I couldn't stop laughing throughout this entire movie, it was hilarious...hilariously bad. This movie was soo bad that it went past good and back to bad again. It is generally a good rule of thumb when you think to yourself things like "Where did that moped come from", "Why is there a bologna sandwich on the floor", "Wouldn't he notice that body", or "Why is she lurking behind that bush" it is a BAD MOVIE!!!! Anyone who liked this movie needs to have their brain taken out and used as bait, because...this movie tastes terrible.
A Beautiful Mind (2001)
blah...
I put off seeing this movie for quite some time because I didn't want to get caught up in the "Beautiful Mind" obsession. But now that I have seen it, I wish I had used the time to do things that have more meaning, like reorganizing your sock drawer. This is a manufactured film made expressly to win Oscars. I have never seen as self-centered performance as Russell Crowe's. Throughout the entire movie he might as well be saying "I'm going to win an Oscar for playing this freak. HA!" He has no respect for the amazing man that he is playing, you can see that in his incredibly cliched movements that look like he read a book about what crazy people do, marked exactly where he was going to do these movements, and then executed them without thinking if this is the right time or if it makes sense for the character to do them then. I was so relieved when he did not win the Oscar, but I didn't think Denzel Washington's performance in Training Day was all that spectacular, but it was more of a career award for him. Russell Crowe, however, has had a career about as impressive as a box of hair. Jennifer Connelly was just okay. I didn't see anything spectacular or Oscar-worthy in her performance, she just sort of screamed and looked worried and disheveled. The best picture Oscar could have gone to a much more deserving film like Moulin Rouge, instead of this heartless award trap. The only description I can really give this movie is...blah. 3/10
Waiting for Guffman (1996)
Easily the best film ever made
The second after I had seen this movie for the first time, I knew that it was my favorite of all time. It not only satires the mid-west way of life, something I do on a regular basis, but it also adds an improvised feel that makes you feel that you are experiencing it for the first time, rather than written dialogue which sometimes comes off rehearsed and static. I didn't know that this film was entirely improvised until about my fifth viewing, and that just makes me appreciate it even more. I recommend, if you haven't already, seeing the deleted scenes from this. I cannot understand how they left these out of the movie. Especially look for the song "This Bulging River", it is hilarious!!!! Anyone who doesn't like this movie obviously has had their sense of humor surgically removed because this movie is amazing. And now, even after the 55th viewing, I still find myself noticing new things and laughing at the same jokes because you can never get tired of them. 10/10.
Rejected (2000)
A genius work of beautifully orchastrated weirdness
This is one of the most wonderful pieces of filmaking ever. And I don't mean that in a sarcastic sense. The happiness I felt through those 9 minutes can be surpassed by very little, except Waiting for Guffman. I recommend watching this with your closest friends because if they are as twisted as you are they will appreciate along with you.
Hertzfeldt creates a wondeful tapestry of stick-figured scenes that makes you want to just stare in bewildered joy for hours. Anyone who does not appreciate this film is not worthy to live. How could you not love this movie, the spoon...it was too big...if he tried to eat the cereal...it wouldn't work...and there was a banana. He was wearing a normal hat...he was beat. It's genius...he was a consumer whore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See this movie first thing tomorrow, you'll really be glad you could partake in this twisted bit of life, which reminds me of something I would dream up with my friends in a moment of extreme boredom.
The Mole (2001)
Hands down the best show on television.
The Mole is an exciting game of chance and suspense. A group of 14 people are taken to a very picturesque location in Europe, however one of the group is a special agent, a mole, hired by the show to prevent the group from gaining money. Each week the players compete in games to win money for the group, while being constantly vigilant for signs of sabotage from the mole. At the end of each episode the players must answer a ten question quiz as to the identity of the mole. The player who scores the lowest on this quiz is executed and must leave the show immediately.
Although it is not as good as the first installment of the mole, it is exciting because it is the only reality show that makes you think. The viewers can play along to try to find the identity of the mole. It is easily the most fun and exciting show to watch on television and I would not miss a week of it for anything.