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neatmiker
Reviews
The Cable Guy (1996)
Nepotism personified
Despite the Ben Stiller crew involvement this is a pretty funny comedy. The obligatory Owen Wilson, Jenine Garafalo and David Cross involvement - which is embarrassingly overdone in anything involving Ben Stiller - doesn't deter this as one of Jim Carrey's best comedic performances. Broderick is obviously overcast as the straight man, but it works and sets up Carrey's over the top silliness perfectly.
The overarching Stiller 'understated involvement' ruins any genuineness. He does closet egomaniac well; so well in fact that it's borderline sociopathic . Lucky for him he has a name that prevents him from any serious inquiry.
I want to watch this movie and enjoy the craziness but the Ben Stiller factor ruins it.
The White Lotus: New Day (2021)
Bad casting
With the right cast this would be a game changing series. Unfortunately sydney Sweeney and her teenage dialect changing 'back pack' to 'bock pock' and 'dad' to 'dod' absolutely ruin it for anyone over the age of 21.
Steve Zahn, his son, Connie Britton, the chick from Baywatch and Plop are all fantastic. The teenage tw*ts make it uniquely cringeworthy.
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
Disgraceful
Lucas clearly thought he could get away with making an exceptionally awful movie by hiding the extreme lack of content behind mediocre (I'm sure he thought they were spectacular) special effects. It's so bad. So extraordinarily bad.
The only content worth watching is the final 15 minutes.
Its hysterical that fanboys continue to consider this embarrassment as the best of the first 6. Make no mistake: Episodes 4-6 are a filet mignon, 1-3 are the hoof of the cow it came from.
The Gentlemen (2019)
Hugh Grant is outclassed
Great idea for a movie but poorly cast. Matthew, Colin and Charlie are good fits: everyone else is reaching and thus the movie comes off forced. The black rappers don't work...I get this is basically a Snatch remake and it can't be a verbatim copy, however, just no with them. Hugh Grant doesn't act in any movie rather he plays his smarmy, self indulging charmer and it falls waaaaaaay short of the mark here wherein he's intending to play heavy with some very heavy dudes.
It's an okay movie if there's nothing else to watch. Otherwise, skip it.
The Little Things (2021)
I didn't want it to end
Watching these three interact was truly an experience I've not enjoyed since Goodfellas. Rami is underrated, Denzel is a classic master and Leto is such an adaptable actor.
Average story and filmmaking but wow the performances!
The Many Saints of Newark (2021)
What's good is good
...but the bad is bad. Too many black people for starters. I get it, Black Lives Matter BS and being 2021 we have to pander the poor underprivileged. But do they have to be involved in every story?! Go get Tyler Perry or the Wayan's to make another movie wherein white people are made fun of and belittled.
The actors that play the core of the Sopranos cast are really really good and make the movie worth watching. Seeing the early days of Tony and his crew and also the hierarchy of the days before his reign brought a lot more of the legacy to light. THAT part of the movie is 10/10.
It's too bad social media pressure allowed other influences in to what should've been another part of the greatest series to ever be televised. Hopefully when things swing back to normalcy we can get back to American movie making.
60 Days In (2016)
Could've been useful
The in jail footage of the participants is absolutely riveting. Exposes the real weakness of the American jail program in a forum that is eye opening and sickening. The problem with this series lies in two places:
1. Dan Abrams (seriously? THIS guy?!??) and the scripted, season ending participant questions completely devalues and devalidates the potentially influential potential of this program. I get it - it's A&E so it's about money.
2. The 'oh golly' sheriff, his idiot captain and the token black, female psychologist deflect and divert the blame/responsibility so it's not their fault thus not addressing raw sewage, shower fights and contraband drugs. It's infuriating to watch and listen to these tools knowing they have an opportunity to make real change. Instead the 7 inmates either didn't listen to or went against their 'professional' advice.
All in all, it's a good show but I found myself gaining a growing dislike for the prison system and Dan Abrams - who was already a laughable tool.
The payoff which has the potential to be HUGE - as in, system changing huge - turns out to be just another soulless reality show disguised as a 'we really want to implement change' front; all in the name of money. At the expense of the REAL inmates who need REAL HELP.
A&E missed a major opportunity.
The Lost Daughter (2021)
Misses by a hair
Really good. Sadly, not great. More sadly: it could've been and almost was.
The movie nails the incessant pressure, life and regret of parenting leaving the viewer with the harrowing thought that not everyone - despite their best intentions, hopes and dreams - should be.
The ending is a bit of a let down: We never find out the families hinted at identity and its reach, which could've been an interesting character development plot point. Dakota's character is left underwhelming despite a great performance. Leda's closing credits phone call is a bit cliche. And what of Ed Harris' character? Did he really just manage the property or was that just a cover? Would've been a very interesting turn to find out he was the boss and placed here in witsec years ago. However, given all of these stones left unturned, the movie was compelling and kept me watching. Perhaps it was Maggie's intention to leave some ideas open for interpretation.
All in all, a movie worth watching...and giving serious consideration regarding parenthood.
The Book of Boba Fett (2021)
Disappointing
It's a bad, made for television Star Wars movie. Lesser production value than The Mando series thus it comes across flat. Plus the grimacing one trick pony 'Deb' from ER is a costar who gets far too much screen time. I'll watch the series purely for the Easter eggs and hope that a Luke Skywalker moment will happen at the end but all in all, it's pretty bad.
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
Just enough good stuff
The scenes between the characters of old make this movie worthy of Star Wars. But there is far too much of Laura Dern's and crew female empowerment political bull and Abram's need to limit white males in the name of racial equality.
Thankfully the influence of George Lucas and his awful dialogue is waning but it's at the expense of Kathleen Kennedy's rise.
Jolt (2021)
Tucci and Beckinsale
Their scenes are the best.
Typical Prime action movie: decent story, laughable overacting and a 'strong black woman' in a position of authority who exercises her blackness with forced regularity.
Can one studio disregard the woke movement and get back to making movies with realistic casting?
Game of Thrones: The Gift (2015)
Season 5 is a grind
Arya's storyline. The High Sparrow Yawnfest. Jora's desperate journey towards Dany's good graces. By this point in the season the episodes are tedious, boring and have destroyed all the momentum built during the previous 4 years.
Still, it's the 2nd greatest show ever made and better than anything else out there, even when considering it's been years since it's first run.
Manhunt: Army of God (2020)
2/3 of the magic is absent
Only Arliss appears in this episode. No Cameron and no Carla.
This is becoming the walking dead. Without 2/3 of the stars that make this series worth watching it's a run of the mill, average netflix series at best.
Manhunt: Centbom (2020)
Mostly good. The bad though....
The silver haired ATF guy and the big guy from Mindhunter who plays Jewell are phenomenal throughout. Frankly, they're the only reason I finished watching.
Overacting from every black person in this...angry black woman FBI agent, angry black man mayor. Ruins the authenticity when there are too many tokens cast to meet a politically correct social agenda.
Writing is reminiscent of a '70's Sunday Night Movie of the Week.
77 Minutes (2016)
Shameful
The only tragedy worse than this directors angle is the incident that took place at McDonalds.
This egomaniacal director handles the interviews, inserting himself into the conversation at every opportunity. The majority of his questions aren't really questions, they're more guided 'don't you think...' type editorializations inserted to get his point across. He even has the audacity at one point to ask an interviewee if what he was doing by not giving the shooters name any air time was something the interviewee thought was a good thing.
The point being made by the director, poorly I must say, was that the police responded too slowly. Monday morning Quarterbacks know everything. Read the wiki page about this tragedy, save yourself two hours.
The Grand (2007)
Another mockumentary
I'll be glad when this genre loses its appeal to the B/C list crowd. It's played out, boring and peaked with Spinal Tap, which wasn't as great as the legend holds. Funny isn't funny when it's not but it's supposed to be.
There is a list of actors who knew someone or got lucky with casting and ended up milking a career out of that break. There are a number of them in this film. Skip this one and watch any episode of arrested development and you'll get your full.
The Vast of Night (2019)
About an hour too long
How anyone can rate this as anything more than a 5 is beyond me. The payoff is not worth what is perhaps the most annoying opening 10 minutes in a movie in the history of film making. The story is predictable and the characters are boring except for Everett who is working overtime in a pathetic attempt to be the new, self proclaimed Kevin Bacon. He makes the jump from boring to ridiculous within the first 3 minutes of his cliched, fast talking, wannabe-DJ, silver tongued devil schtick. It gets old fast and continues to distract throughout the entire film.
The saving grace of this at best mediocre attempt at 50's sci-fi is the cinematography. Long, single shots coupled with seamless fade ins and outs are the lone reason to endure the yawns. However, there is very little action so it could easily be listened to with no eyes on the screen and nothing would be missed.
Frankly, the imagination can add more to the story being set in 1950's New Mexico better than the screenplay delivers. Shame. This could've been good.
The Mandalorian: Chapter 5: The Gunslinger (2019)
Slowing down
Definitely a slower pace with a significant step backwards in plot development than the last episodes.
It's no surprise to me that the lowest rated episode of the series to date includes one of the worst actresses in recent years. Ming-Na Wen should've left her career after Mulan. She is a cartoon voice actor, period. She does not have the talent or ability to act in live action roles. A lesson every person who watched ER learned roughly 25 years ago. I'm glad she was a one off character otherwise she would've destroyed this series as she had a hand in destroying ER. No doubt another Kathleen Kennedy insertion....not white, female.
Here's hoping The Mandalorian can get back on track.
ER: 24 Hours (1994)
"You set the tone Mark"
A line handed down only twice more in the show's 15 year run. Die hard's will know by who and to whom. Those new to the series will remember them well.
This pilot is the greatest to ever launch a show in the history of television. It broke barriers both in methodology, character and story. The 6 characters who became the backbone of this show for the next 3 years, some lasting a little longer and one glutton who lasted to the end, are by far the greatest launch ensemble in all of network television.
To those beginning the ER journey, watch and enjoy the first 6 years...there has never been and doubtfully never will be story, character development and/or performance like this in prime time television. And a word to the wise, stop watching after the Hawaii episodes - you'll undoubtedly know 'em when you see 'em.
ER: And in the End... (2009)
Not as good as other reviews suggest
Almost 90 minutes of show and we get maybe 10 of an assortment of cast members from when the show was good. I cannot believe how disappointed I am.
There are moments which tug at the heartstrings: Peter watches Elizabeth drives away in her rented Hummer, Susan puts her arm through Johns as they walk off to the ER after drinks, seeing Rachel Greene in a pack of med students and Franks reaction when She introduces herself to him; even Kerry Weaver being nice. But it is nowhere near enough. And therein lies the rub. After putting up with years of crap including Pratt, Chen, the new black ER boss and most notably, the plague of John Stamos, we're given 10 minutes of 'oh my gosh, Rachel, you're so grown up' and 'nice job Carter'. A beautiful nod to the pilot occurs during the last few minutes of the episode. Dr Carter, while giving Rachel a tour and showing her how to insert an IV, repeats nearly verbatim the first words Peter said to him when they first met in the pilot, 15 years ago. Aside from that, the nostalgia is lacking and disappointingly so.
This episode is largely devoted to the sappy, inept, entirely underwhelming John Stamos, who, as has become his standard, shares most of his scenes with prepubescent actors, his acting talent equivalent. In addition to us learning in previous episodes that he was an Army Ranger, a street fighting paramedic, a rock drummer and a womanizing, wannabe heart throb, in this episode we learn he can air spray paint and rebuild a '60 something Mustang convertible. Truly a renaissance man - gag - and we had the pleasure of having this far fetched, desperate attempt at story, force fed to us for the past two seasons.
Carter's wife, Kem - because Kim would be benign - shows up for his Medical Center dedication and instead of, even for an evening, letting go of her baggage and being happy for and supportive of him, we're fed wasted moments of film dedicated to her selfish, macabre, depressing self. I was tired of it three years ago, it certainly has no place in the SHOWS FINALE.
All in all, this was the perfect exclamation point on a great series that should've stopped and spared us the waste that was the last 5 seasons and realistically should've concluded after season 7. Thanks to the actors and actresses that played the characters I'll never forget: Carter, Mark, Susan, Benton, Elizabeth, Doug, Carol, Romano, Luka, Maggie, Frank, Archie, Mark's dad, Lucy, Anna, Morgenstern, Shirley, Kerry (only because every show needs the bad guy which she played so well), Shep, Jerry, Chuny, Lily, Abby, Ray, and Reese. And thank you Michael for representing our country's awesome military.
ER is my gold standard by which all television dramas will forever be judged. For a solid 6 years, the episodes revolving around Mark's final days and a handful of episodes thereafter, it was the absolute greatest show on television and of a generation. I believe it will stand the test of time, despite all the mistakes of the last five years, and go down in television history as one of the top 3 dramas to ever grace network television. Seeing the end and watching the last scene fade to credits brought a tear to my eye and felt like waving goodbye to old friends.
ER: I Feel Good (2009)
Dreadfully embarrassing
Second to last episode and we have to deal with John Stamos playing in a band again. Why did every episode have to, in one way or another, be about this posing, rock star wannabe. He did it in Full House - to which this episode bears a pathetic resemblance - and now he's disgraced ER. He couldn't make it as a musician so his agent got him into acting with children, because he's unable to hang with adults.
Nothing in this episode has anything to do with the previous 300+ of this series. It's a blown opportunity of monumental size. It's a slap in the face to every ER fan who tuned in to see some old favorite make a cameo, not see the underwhelming John Stamos standing behind a drum set show. I can't say enough bad things about it...or him.
ER: T-Minus-6 (2009)
Even Carter can't help this mess
Two positives about this episode:
1. Carter
2. Arrested Developments Buster is back!
Norman, the neighborhood Good Samaritan is back in action only this time it's not such an easy fix. Thankfully he has Carter on the case, despite Neela exercising her know it all surgery muscle...wasn't she a quick-e-Mart clerk last season?! Gimme a break with her. There's the airborne ranger (HA!), John Stamos letting Carter know he'll back him up because he's so capable and informing Carter of all the new meds because he's so on the cutting edge. And of course we have the strong black boss Angela Basset, babysitting Carter because as she puts it he's just back to the real world and he should take it easy.
And of course there has to be some socially aware statement to make. This episode it's about the foster parenting situation which the aussie's kid patient's new foster dad is - surprise - a weird, guy who makes her uncomfortable. Oh, he's not? Okay. No biggie. Awful writing, again.
Another wasted opportunity with the series coming to a close. Not nearly enough throwback looks to the show in its hey day. It's one thing to shame the memory of this show with the crap writing, stories and characters. It's another to ignore the past for this junk.
ER: The Beginning of the End (2009)
CARTER!!!
An episode where the main character of the entire series comes back and he doesn't get screen time until the 12:30 mark. Embarrassing.
Until his return I saw Angela Bassett, John Stamos and every other character flash on my screen as I fast forwarded pas them. And then again with every scene they were in without Carter. The stories don't matter as they are boring, drawn out, carbon copies of previous episodes. Save Archie, Gerry and Frank the characters are lame blobs who move their lips and go through the motions.
Thankfully we're getting close to the end. Hoping for more original characters paying their respects to the show they had a hand in making the best drama on television for 6 years...the first 6 years.
ER: A Long, Strange Trip (2009)
Dr Morgenstern
So far, this is the best episode of the dreadful last season. Cameo by Dr Morgenstern! Great to see another face from the glory days.
The thing that made this episode so good was that it didn't focus on John Stamos, Angela Bassett or any of the other current characters. Sadly, there was still too much of him and his BS, sappy eyed excuse for acting.
Very interesting story with Dr Ollie. Everything through his eyes takes place w a 60's lens on it. Though his mind is still sharp and able to understand his surroundings, he's unable to communicate other than with a pen and paper. Cool story about how he built and started the ER at County, a fitting homage to the last season, seeing where it started and how far it's come.
And then you see Dr Morgenstern who reminds you of all the great actors and actresses that have left the show. Unfortunately with the last 'everybody gather 'round the gurney for a group shot' scene, you're quickly reminded how far the show has fallen given the current state of pathetic social agendas, stories and actors.
ER: Dream Runner (2009)
A high rating for Corday
An old favorite makes a cameo. It's only a few minutes and it's around the 28 minute mark for this who don't want to bother with the rest of the crap. I wish someone had done that for me.
In what should have been a final season remembering and honoring past characters we a full episode focusing on a character I've never given a rip about.
I cannot stand John Stamos. That should be pretty well known given my other reviews. The fact that he is spreading his poor acting skills on this show is simply too much to take. He can't act, as evidenced by 1. The majority of his scenes are with children and 2. What stories he does get revolve around women.
Beyond all that for them to disgrace the military by suggesting he was in an airborne unit is appalling. If there is one person who is farthest from a member of the worst unit in the history of any military, it's John Stamos. He doesn't have a military bone in his body. He should be embarrassed and ashamed for even attempting to play the role.