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Reviews
Lady in the Water (2006)
Shyamalan missed his chance at redemption
I am a huge fan of Signs and The Sixth Sense. I think M. Night Shyamalan did amazing work with the horror genre in both films. He breathed new life into a dying breed of movie, giving them something new among all of the cliché-ridden movies that share the genre.
So, I really wanted to like this movie. I, along with pretty much everyone else, was very disappointed by The Village and I very much wanted the director to redeem himself. He failed. Miserabley. Now, I could see his intentions throughout the entire movie. I knew what he was going for and really, it could have worked very well if it had been done correctly. The biggest problem I saw was that he tried to make it be too many different things at once. It was part fairy tale, part horror, part comedy, part fantasy...it goes on. If he had chosen just one and focused his efforts on it, I think the movie would have been very good. Instead, it ended up being a long-winded, pretentious, illogical mess.
The movie is self-aware in some ways, often mocking itself and its own ridiculous story and explanations. This works in other movies, like Scream, for example. In this one, though, the subject is so outlandish that even the prodding the movie gives itself can't make it forgivable. You have to buy into a lot of insane stuff before you can even begin to get sucked into the story. In some movies, such a leap of faith is easy to make and the movie is thoroughly entertaining. Not many people question the rationality of Star Wars because the movies make their universe believable. Lady In The Water's universe is so confusing and muddled that it's distracting and the viewer spends more time calling it out than getting involved.
There are times when I found myself laughing and I wasn't sure if I was supposed to or not. The scenes play out as completely serious, but it's hard to believe that anyone could have written such scenes and intended them to be taken seriously. It's impossible not to laugh at dialog that includes creatures such as narfs and scrunts.
Ultimately, I would call the movie confusing. It doesn't know what it's supposed to be, so the audience is left even more clueless.
The Lottery (1996)
Shirley Jackson deserves better
Shirley Jackson was one of the most talented writers of the 20th century and her story "The Lottery" continues to be one of the most discussed short stories in modern literature. You would think that a film (or in this case, a television) adaptation would pay a little more attention to detail and try to remain at least a little loyal to the original story. Instead, we get this. The only similarity between this and the story is the fact that someone is stoned to death. Beyond that, it seems as though the screenwriters never even glanced at the short story while writing this. Even when looked at on its own, paying no attention to the story, this movie is bad. It is over-the-top and insulting to the viewer. The context and setting are all wrong, making the plot completely unbelievable. As for the acting, I don't think it's fair to call what is portrayed in the movie "acting".
Do yourself a favor and read the story. With this and the recent second film adaptation of her novel "The Haunting Of Hill House", the memory of Shirley Jackson does not deserve to be degraded any further.
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
The magic of Star Wars is back
George Lucas has managed to recreate everything that made the first trilogy such an endearing series. Gone are all of the childish elements that made Episode I almost unbearable at times. Hell, even Jar Jar Binks is a respectable character in this movie.
Girl in Gold Boots (1968)
Thank God For MST3K
If it weren't for that brilliant show, no one would have ever seen this movie after the 60's...not that that's a bad thing.
This movie is a big, steaming pile of continuity errors and bad acting. There was a vague plot buried beneath all of this, however it was as thin as paper and made transparent by the grease dripping off of the actors.
There are countless errors and inexplicable scenes in throughout this movie. Who could forget Buz magically teleporting into the booth at the diner? Who could forget the utterly mind-boggling dune buggy scene? It seems as though this movie was made for MST3K, and, I warn you all, should not be viewed under any circumstances without the hilarious one-liners of Mike and the robots.
Return to Cabin by the Lake (2001)
Pretty good for a TV movie
I liked the first movie, and found the sequel just as enjoyable. It's not exactly worth of an Emmy, but hey, it's fun.
It's definately better than most films that roll out of the USA Studios, and at least as good as any Hollywood slasher film.
The Others (2001)
One of the greatest ghost stories ever
This is one of the best ghost stories ever written, it's up there with classics like the 1963 version of "The Haunting". Very few ghost stories have ever been able to obtain such an amazing level of horror and at the same time maintain its dignity.
It's very refreshing to see a ghost movie that does not rely on computer effects and cheap, make-you-jump-out-of-your-seat moments of shock (but don't fret, you WILL jump out of your seat more than once). It achieves its horror through subtle lighting and sound effects, something that's virtually impossible to find in most modern-day horror movies.
It starts off a little slow, but quickly grabs you attention and doesn't let go until the end. Speaking of the end, it has a surprise ending that will blow you away and leave you talking about it for days.
Don't miss "The Others".
Jurassic Park III (2001)
Summer action at its best...
Jurassic Park was great. The Lost World was mediocre. Jurassic Park III is a surprisingly enjoyable blend of its two predecessors. It combines everything that made the first film great with everything that made the second film stupidly entertaining. You get amazing atmosphere and subtle, eerie effects, while at the same time, being blown away by very blunt and in-your-face shock-horror. They mix to make for a very suspensful and scary summer thrill ride.
I think the best thing about it is the variety is offers. Unlike The Lost World, whose action was practically identical to the original film, it offers new and exciting hazards for the cast to overcome. In the first two films, there were only two main threats, the Tyrannasaurus Rex and the Velociraptors. However, in JP3, the T-Rex is almost completely absent (he makes a pleasing cameo early in the movie), and a great twist is added to the Raptors. Also, two new dinosaurs are thrown into the characters' faces, the Spinosaurus (who even the T-Rex fears) and the Pteradon, a flying dinosaur.
However, like all films, JP3 has its flaws. These flaws include an almost entirely unbelievable ending, which in my opinion, came too soon, the movie ended before things had a chance to wrap up.
It probably won't win the Oscar for best picture, but when you get down to it, good acting, great special effects, a pretty good script, and amazing action make this one of the best summer popcorn movies in years.
Britannic (2000)
Disgraceful
30 or so people died when the H.M.H.S Britannic sank, 55 minutes after striking a mine, and this is how we respect them?
I am shocked at the fact that the film makers had the nerve to use the name Britannic in this steaming pile of a movie.
Don't even bother seeing this movie for yourself, the real story is far more dramatic. For instance, Violet Jessop, who was a nurse on the Britannic, was also on the Titanic 4 years earlier, and she was onboard the Titanic's other sister ship, the R.M.S. Olympic, when she collided with the British cruiser, the H.M.S. Hawke, in 1911. This poor women was on all three Olympic-Class liners (as they were called) when they experienced tragedies, and she isn't even mentioned. However, I believe that the main character in the movie is loosely based on her.
Manhunter (1986)
The best of the "Hannibal" trilogy
This is by far the best of the three films featuring Dr. Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter. It is a shame that this movie didn't get nearly the attention it deserved and was overshadowed by the sequel (The Silence of the Lambs) 4 years later. I have to say that I was impressed by Brian Cox's portrayal of Dr. Lecter, even though it does not compare to the legendary role that Sir Anthony Hopkins plays in "The Silence of the Lambs" and "Hannibal". However, since Dr. Lecter is not the key character he is in the two latter films of the trilogy, it was not necessary to make the him as captivating.
Hannibal (2001)
Is this Clarice?...Well, hello, Clarice...
This movie is skillfully written, acted, scored, and all other factors that apply. It can even be called equal to it's breathtaking predecessor.
That is, until the last ten minutes. Yes, those all too infamous ten minutes of footage that sent a collective groan of disgust through the over crowded theater opening night.
It is unfortunate that these blindingly gory scenes ruin many people's view of this otherwise great film. Yes, it's graphic, but during the first two hours, the gore and violence is used to film's advantage, depicting just how serious the crimes of Dr. Hannibal Lecter are. However, the infamous "dinner" sequence uses this shock-horror factor to such a degree that it loses all seriousness and just becomes ridiculous.
I was shocked that such great writing talent didn't utilize the lost art of implication to accomplish the same thing (probably much more effectively) that this disgusting version did.
Speaking of the kitchen scene, did anyone else notice the copy of "Vegetarian Cuisine" on top of the refrigerator behind Clarice's head? I thought that was kinda funny.
Anyway, I do recommend this movie, but just be sure to ignore the last ten minutes.