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samhardy-18848
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FrankenThug (2017)
It's not that deep, just laugh at it
Frankenthug is what I need it to be for a good time- goofy, campy, and full of dumb jokes that don't quite land. Granted that I am not the target audience for the film, I enjoyed laughing at the lack of continuity and interesting editing choices. If you want a hard hitting story investigating how Frankenstein would change with a Black Frankenstein, this is not it. Frankenthug says only "gucci', theres boobs for the sake of boobs, and shots hang for much too long much too often. It's a silly movie that feels like it's written for a while man about a white man's party he's throwing that occasionally mentions Frankenstein.
I could have done with better audio quality and less swearing, but the movie made me fall in love with how hard it is trying. The cast seems to be having fun, and in the end isn't that all that matters?
P. S. Also the movie flashbangs the viewer seemingly at random. Watch at your own risk.
The Seven (2019)
Oh my gosh we get it, there's seven
This movie doesn't make a lot of sense. Characters randomly enter and exit the film, the plot just meanders along, and no one has any agency in this weird world to act like this is the least bit unusual.
What a weird film. The actors are all obviously adults, but are said to be in college. Okay, whatever. But then they all act like it's a high school?? They're learning how to use "has" vs "had" in a sentence. Pathetic.
All that I got from the plot was that the main guy wants to bone so terribly he sneaks into school to do it, but all the girls friends show up too since they have nothing better to do at all. No one acts like this is annoying or frustrating, they all just play party games with the comically large bag of weed one character brings and a single bottle of wine amongst the seven of them. Creepy hijinks happen, then eventually someone gets possessed and murders someone else. It's never truly explained how the possession happened or if the spirit had issues. Everybody acts like it's not a big deal, then the main guy dies. God (yes, they show a version of the big man), Himself, shows up to give the dude a second chance for who knows what reason since all he's done is try to bone. Redeemed, he heads back to earth and lives the movie over- learning the school custodian had the same thing happen on the ancient mansion burial grounds.
Sometimes the film wants to drive something home, but it always manages to be the part we get already. Yeah, there are seven pricks I have to keep track of. Yeah, there are seven sins. Yeah, the school is seventy years old or whatever- I get it, I'm bored. Let something happen!
Nothing happens in this movie. It feels like having to read Order of the Phoenix over and over again, taking detailed notes on how the fights are going. There's no payoff for all the mental energy juggling the plot in my head cost me. Save yourself the trouble.