nogu-06346 Reviews

Chateau Christmas (2020 TV Movie)

Painful to watch

[1/10 · 17 December 2020]

One of the worst Hallmark movies I've ever seen. This movie hit the checklist for tropes in a Hallmark movie. Baking, old high school sweethearts, the woman moves to the big city and the guy stays in a small town, public tree lighting ceremony, Santa Claus, pointless story Roadblocks and crappy acting. The subplot is stupid and he's only there to add to the musical theme. The musical group in a subplot honestly could've gone back together they wanted to, and it seems like they didn't. When they get back together for the end concert it only seems like a one-time thing and can't happen again unless the two main characters are with them. In my opinion the subplot was only there to serve the two main characters. You can obviously tell the actors are actually playing the music and it seems like the director doesn't care to hide the fact. Leading man sucks at acting and should go back to his job as a manager at Kohl's. Every scene seems like it was filmed in one take.

Full Count (2019)

Calling this a baseball movie is extremely misleading.

[1/10 · 12 May 2020]

Baseball is only a subplot taking up around 20% of the film. This is more of a farming story than anything else.

The plot jumps around from one thing to another and sometimes in the story I was thinking myself when did that happen in the plot. Two main character die in this movie. There's an addiction subplot. The story writers play with you. There's a villain.

Oh, yeah I forgot to mention there's an angel on this movie.

Here's the moral to the story sit on your hands and hope for dumb luck.

The Way Back (I) (2020)

The wrong way.

[1/10 · 11 May 2020]

This movie fails at what it wants to be. A path to redemption movie, a sports movie "basketball" and a faith based film.

His path to redemption is not by coaching a downtrodden basketball team to glory, but by going to rehab. The movie claims to be about a man who lost his family values. But, in the movie he tells one of his players he never had it.

If they fire him for being a drunk then why did they hire him in the first place. You have these coaches from other teams that know he's drunk but somehow his school doesn't know that and then they fire him for being one. After he gets fired from the basketball team the sports notion of this movie only becomes a side note.

In the movie they assume he never had any faith in the religion for the school he coach for and former alma mater. So, was the faith elements in this movie lazy writing. His sons death feels like the product of a rewrite, because he mostly has family issues from father and seems to contradict why he's an alcoholic. I guess they did this to make the divorce from his wife seem more impactful and for soap drama.

John Tucker Must Die (2006)

Pointless

[1/10 · 11 May 2020]

The plot is almost pointless, because nothing happens in the end. In some way you could say this is a story about the main women becomes popular kinda. The only thing the title character learns in the end is be more forthcoming.

Get a hint by the end song "I want you to want me" to what movie they're trying to copy.

Your Name. (2016)

Just OK

[6/10 · 9 May 2020]

This isn't the best movie you're ever watch. I've even seen the story with the red cord done before (Case Closed: The Time Bombed Skyscraper).

My issues with this film: Time travel elements just seem like a plot convenience. The body switching doesn't make sense, especially how she has a family history of this. The romance doesn't feel believable and isn't explained well.

Things I like: I really like the art style, especially how a contrast between city versus rural. The music is quite fitting. The coming-of-age elements are done quite well.

If you like Japanese anime you'll like this movie, but this isn't the best movie you'll ever watch.

Love, Once and Always (2018 TV Movie)

I know who this movie is for.

[2/10 · 8 May 2020]

The Script feels like it was being wrote at the same time they were making the movie. There is a scene 10 minutes into the movie with the main character walked in the door I laughed so hard I almost cried. The actors sleep walk-through the movie. The reason for the billionaire buying the state border lines on the oxymoronic.

Stuber (2019)

One joke movie.

[1/10 · 3 April 2020]

At an hour and a half the movie is too short. They mostly do this to make the movie seem quick-witted. But, it falls short of explaining peoples back stories and you asked the question am I missing something. And when any parts of the story comes up you don't care because you didn't have enough time to spend with the characters. Oh yeah, there's a twist in this movie that only gets brought up once. This is one of the main reasons why I think this movie isn't worth much.

The action isn't realistic. People can break out car windows with their legs. People can just get up after having a boat oar hit over them multiple times.

And the ending is the biggest joke of the movie. Throwing dumb story plots at the wall and seeing what sticks.

After watching this movie I can see what's happening the 20th Century Fox is right in front of them. Because, the studio cannot survive on making movies about people learning to cut loose. At the end of the day just turns into a background noise movie. And these are the lessons that similar studios like Paramount and Sony need to learn. Or they might find a similar fate.

Life as We Know It (2010)

Another movie for the recycle bin.

[1/10 · 24 March 2020]

This movie makes adult hood look like crap and something you should run from. You can't have a cool job, because it gets in the way of having a kid. Motorcycles are ill responsible. Flowing your dreams is running away from your problems.

Tooken (I) (2015)

My honest thoughts.

[1/10 · 12 March 2020]

Film class should show this movie as how to not make a spoof, satire or comedy.

Iron Man: Rise of Technovore (2013 Video)

Not for everybody.

[5/10 · 11 March 2020]

Reminds me of something that would've been on Cartoon Network in the early 2000's. Norman Reedus does an excellent job as the punisher and he is the second walking dead star to play the character. Also the movie tries to pattern a lot of story point from the MCU.

Inhumans: The Gentleman's Name is Gorgon (2017) Season 1, Episode 6

This episode shows what's wrong with this TV show.

[3/10 · 26 February 2020]

When a charter died you didn't really care. (Maybe they're not dead.) They pull back the violence to make it more palatable to a younger audience. Jokes when things become too serious There's a scene where it turns into a teen drama with Crystal. Dialogue for Maximus is quite bad.

Hulk (2003)

Is this what 137 million dollars got you in 2003.

[3/10 · 13 February 2020]

This movie supposed to be like watching a comic book, but I feel the movie would have been better without the Element, but I've never seen a comic book have meaningless cinematic pictures. Why does the scientific imagery seem like it's from a cartoon. The jumpiness of the film imagery causes you to lose track of the story line very quickly. Plot elements are offbeat. Filming locations are strange.

3.9 stars

Falling Inn Love (2019)

Stop making these movies

[1/10 · 7 February 2020]

I've seen this movie done 8 different times. (Airplane Mode 2020) (Christmas Inheritance) (Rip Tide) I've even seen the bit with her suitcase rolling away done before (Christmas Inheritance).

The movie in general: The actors don't understand what is the mood of the scene. There's a weird house haunted subplot that never fully gets resolved. The goat jokes are below Disney slapstick level. Everything is played as a joke, except for the house fire. They made a big deal about her American boyfriend coming over, but he barely affects the story.

Airplane Mode (2020)

How do these movies keep on getting the green light.

[1/10 · 5 February 2020]

The script feels like the first draft. The love interest is brain-dead obvious. How did she go from being a social media influence to a Fashion designer. Plot lines get introduced halfway through the movie.

Get Over It (2001)

I wanted this movie to be good.

[2/10 · 28 January 2020]

I feel embarrassed to have watched this movie. Everything in this story feels forced. From the story of the relationship in the beginning to the "other women". The story has the high schoolers showing up to a nightclub trope. The realism in the movie feels like a Nickelodeon sitcom fan fiction. There's no chemistry between the actors.

The worst part is other than the director Tommy O'Hayor this movie has some recognizable name attached. What was he telling them behind the camera? Maybe this is why he doesn't get work anymore.

Playing with Fire (I) (2019)

What are you doing Keegan-Michael Key

[1/10 · 25 January 2020]

Everything from the acting to the cinematography, this movie just makes me question why. The love interest sub-plot is a joke. Whomever wrote it should be ashamed of themselves. The character "axe" is a trope from cartoons. You would think with this being a movie about firefighters that the Climax would be firefighting. Oh yeah, the main plot is a rip off of Despicable me.

Jexi (2019)

Belongs on Netflix

[5/10 · 4 January 2020]

The premise gets lost in the comedy. Not worth 12 dollars at a movie theater, but is worth a watch for some low bar laughs.

Kino's Journey: The Beautiful World - The Animated Series (2017)

Look at it.

[7/10 · 19 August 2019]

Definitely worth a watch. Although some episodes are hit and miss on storytelling. (Episode 4 Ship Country - On the Beach)

Amanda & Jack Go Glamping (2017)

Belongs in the recycle bin

[1/10 · 15 July 2019]

I'm going to explain the plot in three sentences: Husband and wife go on a private camping trip to fix problems in marriage. Wife wants to spent more time with hotter guy she "finds" on the trip and tells husband to get over everything. Wife doesn't unstand husbands great discomfort at this idea.

Blue Jasmine (2013)

Rich People Drama

[1/10 · 12 July 2019]

Why did I watch all of this movie? Predictable, cliché and has stereotypes. None of the dialogue rings true, even the direction is bad and Woody, you are stealing the basic premise of Streetcar Named Desire and butchering it. Don't get me started on the flashbacks and linear storytelling.

Frankly, I'm baffled by all the positive reviews.