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samirvolt
Reviews
John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)
They blew out the Wick
This is the worst and last John Wick movie, and I can honestly say I am not biased. I liked the other three; even though they became progressively more unrealistic, and ridiculous. But this is definitely the worst film by far.
Donnie Yen's acting is terrible. His lines and mannerisms are janky, and spastic. He's meant to come off as a funny blind character, but does not pull it off. He's no Blind Fury, or Zatoichi, and his fighting in the movie is not graceful but stilted and awkward.
The movie itself is a boring slog. The entire film is one big death scene/fair well to John Wick's character, but it fails to pull off a satisfying ending and send off. John Wick dies from a gunshot to his lower left abdomen. This unkillable, magnificent bastard, the 'baba yaga' dies from a gunshot that probably just hit a kidney. Let me stress this; he does not get shot in the heart, or anywhere vital, he just expires at the end because the film needed him to.
John Wick's unexpected surprise death aside, this movies action scenes are terribly boring. There is barely any violent humour except a dog biting peoples balls, which gets old fast. There's nothing new here; no new interesting ways in which Wick dispatches enemies. The other films at least had him kill someone with a book or something. Here Wick just falls from high places as usual, then gets hit by cars, as per usual, then gets up and walks it off, again; as usual.
The film is chalked full of crappy fortune cookie statements and pseudo philosophical lines. And boy do they suck. Maybe Hollywood does need to pay these writers something, they don't seem to care anymore.
None of the plot points are very interesting because its obvious stuff; for example there's no beating the table's top council, they just get replaced. And so the film tries (halfheartedly) to come up with a neat little solution; a duel between Wick and some French douche. A contrived dues ex duel with no real payoff. Wick dies for some new character and his daughter we don't even know. But don't worry, she plays a violin for 3 seconds, so we feel so much empathy for her...And Donnie Yen slurps up noodles in the shadows of a restaurant before we even see him do anything; so that's...relatable...
I'm very disappointed in this movie; I really believe John Wick's character deserved better.
Scream (2022)
Craaawling through my craaawl!
When did movies stop being movies!? This is not a film; this is an edgy meme masquarading as a movie. Look, I get that the original Scream movie talked a lot about horror tropes,motive, survival, movie theory etc, but this is just over doing it. The killer starts referencing "the fandom" and freaking out in the stupidest way possible about "legacy" and "franchises" that they care about, oh puh-leez... This movie is so self aware that its hilarious! The whole attempt to break the fourth wall in this travesty is unintentionally funny, and lame. Discussions about Mary Sue's go absolutely nowhere in this film as the actors and writers struggle to contemplate their place and role in it. Why not just have the writer break the fourth wall completely and walk into film; he could tell the characters exactly who the killers are and be done with it. Yes that would be pointless, but thats what this movie is; pointless. Seems no one knows how to make movies anymore, or maybe Scream just belongs in the past; a great movie that should be respected and left alone. I did not enjoy this film. Its too modern to be 'Scream', too edgy to pull off what the original did.
M3GAN (2022)
A future cult classic
Megan is a pleasant surprise in an age of bad movies; a comedy,sci fi, horror that does not take itself too seriously, yet seriously enough to do a good job as a film. The movie takes the fun idea of general A. I becoming self aware and deadly in the guise of a toy/girl doll; and runs with it. The combination of good voice acting from Jenna Davis as Megan, creepy uncanny valley design for the face, and some superb dancing by Amie Donald; makes for an truly entertaining character. The story is fluid,clear and well written with no gaping plot holes. The characters and acting are done well. But perhaps the best parts of the movie are the violent scenes; some of which are intentionally hilarious in a playfully 'bad girl' way. I even felt some sympathy for Megan's character towards the end; she's a lovable psychopath with a cold heart of titanium. Truly an enjoyable film that will entertain you, and will gain a larger cult fan base as the years go by.
The Harbinger (2022)
Not too good,but not a total loss
The first half of the movie is genuinely good, and so is the acting. The second half is "good idea; terrible execution". The writing and dialogue flounders and becomes laughably bad; paricularly in that one scene where the girl tells her parents the story of 'the fly and the cockroach'. Either there was a deadline or the writer got lazy, and the movie takes a nosedive. That said I was still pleased by some of the plot twists that I did not see coming. The special effects and costume are low budget, but not too terrible. The acting during the first half is pretty good; I enjoyed the child actors performance, and for the most part; the acting is good. There are some unecessary scenes, writing issues, and the ending is not good, but other than that; its worth a watch on a friday night at home.
Books of Blood (2020)
Horribly bad Movie from Hulu
Do not be fooled by the trailer! The first fifty minutes of this aweful film is a boring snore fest. In fact the first and second half of the movie are not even connected. Its as if they made two separate movies, and then stuck them together using bad writing and poor editing. The movie tries desperately to be interesting and fails. The plot twists are inane and just seem dumb. The script was written by someone who suffers severely from the Dunning Kruger effect. The writer even tries to insert some absurd political spin at the very end; which is hilariously bad. This movie is not worth anyones time. Don't waste two hours of your precious life,seriously.
Arcane: League of Legends (2021)
Good but flawed
The good things; great art and animation, nearly perfect pacing and tension. Mostly great voice acting especially from the villain and foster father character. Good world building and an old fashioned but excellent plot. Mostly good character design; most notably Heimrindeger; who is like a fusion of Albert Einstein and master Yoda.
The bad; a bit too woke, edgy and "progressive" to remain neutral for long. I honestly don't mind the ideas of rebellion, riots and revolution; however it's a bit too on the nose and forced in. You can clearly see the resemblance between this animation and our current times. The teens and kids in this film are your typical tumbler users; overly emotional, edgy and loud. I can see what the show is trying to say; the adults are trying to teach the new generation an important life lesson; responsibility, restrain, patience etc.
Vi learns that her violence and unrestraint will only lead to tragedy. Powder/Jinx (probably) learns that her inexperience and youth are a stumbling block she must learn to overcome. I pray that all these lessons will not end up reinforcing the very weaknesses of these characters; as strengths, the way many a woketard series has done. That would ruin everything being built.
There's a bit too much emotional immaturity on part of the teens; not sure if that was intentional; but literally drooling with spittle in an emotional freak out is a bit too much. Also a lot of pointless shouting, roaring and screaming dramatic scenes. There's no need to be neanderthals!
The best parts in this animation series that blew my mind; is the face acting, surreal facial mimicry and word miming. The expressions and delivery in certain scenes is astonishingly on point. A choked back word, a twitching of the eyes and facial muscles does more than hoarse shouting ever could.
Lastly the opening music is terrible. A poor choice to use something that sounds like pop or hip hop to convey drama and emotional tension.
Arcane: League of Legends (2021)
Good but flawed
The good things; great art and animation, nearly perfect pacing and tension. Mostly great voice acting especially from the villain and foster father character. Good world building and an old fashioned but excellent plot. Mostly good character design; most notably Heimrindeger; who is like a fusion of Albert Einstein and master Yoda.
The bad; a bit too woke, edgy and "progressive" to remain neutral for long. I honestly don't mind the ideas of rebellion, riots and revolution; however it's a bit too on the nose and forced in. You can clearly see the resemblance between this animation and our current times. The teens and kids in this film are your typical tumbler users; overly emotional, edgy and loud. I can see what the show is trying to say; the adults are trying to teach the new generation an important life lesson; responsibility, restrain, patience etc.
Vi learns that her violence and unrestraint will only lead to tragedy. Powder/Jinx (probably) learns that her inexperience and youth are a stumbling block she must learn to overcome. I pray that all these lessons will not end up reinforcing the very weaknesses of these characters; as strengths, the way many a woketard series has done. That would ruin everything being built.
There's a bit too much emotional immaturity on part of the teens; not sure if that was intentional; but literally drooling with spittle in an emotional freak out is a bit too much. Also a lot of pointless shouting, roaring and screaming dramatic scenes. There's no need to be neanderthals!
The best parts in this animation series that blew my mind; is the face acting, surreal facial mimicry and word miming. The expressions and delivery in certain scenes is astonishingly on point. A choked back word, a twitching of the eyes and facial muscles does more than hoarse shouting ever could.
Lastly the opening music is terrible. A poor choice to use something that sounds like pop or hip hop to convey drama and emotional tension.
WolfWalkers (2020)
A very special animation about revolution!
This is one of the best animated stories I have ever seen in my life. Better than Song Of The Sea and its predecessor.
The animation is gorgeous and rich; especially the striking red colors used to convey drama. Yet it remains inventive and flexible; an artistic treat to watch. There is minimalism where it is needed and flare where it is required. The music and voice acting falls in step with the art; creating something special.
The main characters express an endearing humanity; that gives the show something most vapid cash cows cannot achieve; sympathy with the characters.
While the plot and story are not overly complicated, this is because the movie is mainly meant for children. The story still manages to impress even adults with its general message of; courage, revolutionary action, selflessness, and love.
Spoiler. The story centres around a young girl named Robin and her father; a hunter called Goodfellow. The two are newly arrived outsiders who live in a constricting town ruled by a Lord Protector; who is basically a petty dictator. Under English rule, the Irish people are forced to work for their dictator and fell a nearby forest; even Children are forced into labor by an unrelenting, mechanical government.
Goodfellow is charged with hunting down the wolves in the neighbouring woods. Parts of the story are a metaphor for any minority group being oppressed; which is what Mave and here mother (who are wolfwalkers-people capable of turning into wolves when they sleep) are. Mave and her mother live in the woods which are being invaded and threatened by the town. Mave wants to leave but cannot because her mother is asleep and her mother's wolf counterpart has not returned. Mave and Robin become friends after Mave heals her hawk Merlin.
The plot takes a fun twist when Robin is accidentally bitten by Mave and becomes a wolfwalker herself. Which symbolises becoming one of the minority/oppressed groups. Robin is suddenly forced to deal with the hate,violence and superstition that is felt towards wolves. An irony, because earlier in the movie she herself oppressed wolves; seeing them only as vicious beasts to be hunted down.
Robin promises to help Mave find her mother, but is forced by her society and its leader into conformity and obedience. Mave's mother who has actually been captured by the Lord Protector is placed in a physical and metaphorical cage. Upon her execution, she is freed by Robin who decides to break free of her own cage; freeing herself of her towns conformity and rigid rule.
Riding the giant wolf who is actually Maves mother; the two make a dramatic escape from the town. Maves mother is reunited with her daughter; but is shot by Robins father; Goodfellow. Robin turns into a wolf; choosing to go with Mave and the wolves into the forest to help Maves injured mother.
An epic battle takes place in which Goodfellow throws off his own chains of conformity; choosing to turn into a wolf to save his daughter. The Lord Protector is defeated; Goodfellow redeems himself and all four survive and become a single family-like a wolf pack.
In conclusion; this animated movie is one of a kind, and is well worth the watch. The story, metaphors and messages are much deeper than most neigh sayers, and haters think.
Don't miss this one!
The 3rd Birthday (2010)
Loved Parasite Eve 2, but this game is terribly designed!
This is without a doubt the worst game I have ever played in my life, and the people that made it should be ashamed! I love Parasite Eve 2 and still play it today, but Third Birthday is not a worthy successor. The story is fine, so is the character design; but the gameplay is just awful.
The biggest problem with this game is its auto targeting. You can't target the closest enemies-especially when they are behind you! You have to manually switch targets to the closest one. This is especially annoying and stupid when you equip the sniper rifle; you have to stop and manually turn the camera in the direction you want to face, and only then can you fire. Why can't the character just aim the rifle in the direction she's facing!? When looking through the scope; Aya gets brain damaged and turns into the world's slowest marksman, she finds the target very very slowly; the scope view moves like a snail traveling backwards through time. What chimpanzee designed this!?
Grenades take ages to throw and bounce back off of barricades; because apparently Aya Brea is now an idiot, and cannot throw them over waist high barriers.
There is never enough ammo for any of your guns; except your handgun which for some reason has infinite ammo! The handgun has very limited range and is not a good weapon. Very rarely does the game give you additional ammo; especially during boss fights; who are ridiculously powerful btw. Parasite Eve 2 at least gave you parasite energy and a mana gauge to help you fight; this game just lets you possess people, while your ammo remains the same.
There is even an unbeatable enemy/boss at the beginning of the game. This "reaper" chases you around and the only way to escape fast enough is by rolling. There is no sprint mechanic in the game-so why the hell would you create a level like this?! To annoy people!? The "reaper" traps you in a red barrier sandwich if you aren't fast enough and kills you instantly with a game over. What even!?
Guns now have to be leveled up and upgraded. How do you even level up a gun!? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Some of the gun upgrades make the gun weaker...
The DNA parasite upgrades are never explained! There isn't a tutorial that tells you what the hell it does or how it works.
The game chiefly relies on a mechanic called overdive; which lets you possess/teleport into the bodies and locations of nearby friendly soldier units. The problem is that most times these idiots get killed easily and you end up spraying and praying all alone. And since you have limited ammo; you soon run out. This makes the game increasingly frustrating to play; not only are your allies weak and completely unreliable; but when they die you lose the only other ability you have to rely on besides your gun. Said NPC helpers have terrible A. I and don't even do a good job of backing you up; mostly they just stand there, they don't follow you into battle. The mechanic is a failure.
If you're wondering weather to buy, download or play this game; my advice to you is to stay away. It's not worth the frustration.
End of Eternity (2010)
An underrated gem!
This game is pretty incredible for managing to blend a 3rd person shooter with a fast paced strategy action game! I highly recommend playing this game for the fun gameplay alone.
Story: Without spoiling too much; the game is set in tower like city called Bazel and revolves around Lianne- a young woman who tried to take her own life but is rescued by a young man named Zephyr. She now lives together with him and his guardian Vasheron; the three work as mercenary guns for hire. They perform odd jobs and special missions for Bazels elite, but things change when Zephyr and Liannes dark pasts catch up to them.
The game is chalked full of enjoyable adult humor and yet still manages to deliver some emotional gut punches. There is much to explore and unlock including guns, monsters and new areas. But the most impressive thing about this game is its radical approach to costumes and wearable outfits that the player can unlock. There are a tonne of shirts, dresses,hair dye, shoes and even contact lenses to change eye color. The player gets to buy and unlock outfits to match their mood and appearance even during a cutscene! Plus if you're feeling bored of the story there's always the battle arena.
The graphics are good. The voice acting is worthy of praise and the character design is great. The story is interesting despite being a bit difficult to grasp at first, but will not disappoint. The gameplay will keep you hooked to the very end.
She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
One of the best shows I've seen in a long time
While She ra seems generic at first, the story picks up to reveal a surprisingly deep blend of humor and emotional depth to its characters. The story and characters are well thought out by writers who know how to tell a great story and get you emotionally invested in both Etheria's heroes and villains. The gut punches, drama, struggles, character arcs and motivations feel real enough for you as viewer to root for both sides. The emphasis on complex relationships throughout the show gives She ra the strength it needs to define itself and stand appart on its own, much like The Last Airbender. The voice acting is delightful, funny and dramatic exactly what it needs to be when it needs to be it.
Hollywood could really learn a thing or two about how to make great entertainment from this show. There are no Mary Sue's here. Both hero and villain are flawed in She Ra, both struggle to overcome their own trauma (emotional and psychological), and it is wonderful to see. The plot is not contrived or driven by mcguffins or plot devices, but by the characters, their relationships and struggles with one another and questions about themselves and the world they inhabit.
Conclusion: I was sceptical about a reboot of She ra at first, but this show has won me over with its emotional depth and the charm of its characters. The redesign of She Ra's outfit and a few of it's original characters does nothing to seriously undermine or detract from the more interesting aspects of the show. Quite the opposite; it creates a new myth for a new generation of viewers.
I highly recommend She Ra And The Princess Of Power.