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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
Not a direct adaptation, but still fun!
I thought Disney's version was excellent... very touching and exciting, as well as quite funny... when I saw it in the theater, I thought the pacing was rushed (because I was used to reading the books, listening to the radio plays, and watching the TV series)... however, the more I watch this version, the more I get the flow they were going for... yes, I miss some of the British humor, and I can see how this was tweaked for American audiences... but, I don't think that leaves it totally "vanilla"... there's still plenty of Adams' quirkiness in there...
I am also able to forgive a few minor details that were left out (jokes, lines, bits), and I LOVE the things that we're added (love triangle, Humma, etc.)... I loved the way the Guide animation was presented, and Stephen Fry was top-notch... I especially liked the chemistry between Zooey and Martin, and Sam Rockwell's delivery still makes me laugh out loud ("buttons aren't toys!")... the Vogons were WAY more impressive and interesting here than in the TV show...
I could totally see a sequel, with elements from the book *and* elements from the Disney film melding into a new story arc for the characters...
it's unfortunate that this wasn't considered a "success" by Hollywood standards, because Disney probably won't take the risk making a sequel...
P.S.: I miss Douglas! :-(
Disaster Movie (2008)
The parody gods are punishing me...
I am normally a fan of this genre, at least I used to be... Mel Brooks, the Airplane movies, the original Scary Movie... all top-notch in my book...
I have really tried to like the newer spoof films... I got derailed by Meet The Spartans, which is what I consider to be the worst mainstream Hollywood movie ever released... but, even after suffering through that, I persevered... Superhero Movie was okay, mainly because it had a bit of a budget to work with... Epic Movie was pretty funny in parts... and the DVD had naked chicks, so you know... bonus.
but, man... Disaster Movie was a waste of time... almost as bad as Meet the Spartans... except for two members of the Mad TV cast (they played multiple parts for some reason), everything else about the movie sucked BIG time... it seemed like almost half the movie was musical numbers... the lyrics to the songs were funny, but who cares about a High School Musical parody? what am I, twelve? and the only "disaster" movie I could see them making fun of was Cloverfield, but they didn't do enough with it...
let's see... good things about the movie... the Alvin and the Chipmunks scene was funny at first, but it went on way too long... Nicole Parker from Mad TV playing the crazy princess from Enchanted was the only good role in the movie... she was hilarious, but the writing for her made no sense...
the girls and the gays will like the Beowulf parody scene... naked guy butt for a few minutes... mildly humorous... pull it up on YouTube...
again, it had SO much potential, esp. if they would have concentrated their efforts on spoofing Cloverfield and action movies like it... but, they screwed it up by plugging in too many short popular movie references, but not following through with them... (Hancock was such a wasted opportunity)... I haven't seen some of the movies they were referencing, so I was a little lost in some parts... maybe these movies aren't for me anymore.
The Dark Knight (2008)
Blew away my expectations **spoilers**
I have to tell you, the movie was fantastic. And it wasn't all because of the Joker. I mean, that was a great part, and Heath Ledger took it to a place that I had no idea existed. It seemed very representative of The Joker from the graphic novel "The Killing Joke.", but even more twisted. But I also enjoyed Two-Face; finally coming to life like he's supposed to, as opposed to that technicolor Tommy Lee Jones nightmare that I absolutely hated (Joel Schumaker, please take notes).
To me, the movie wasn't about the Joker at all... it was about Harvey Dent's slow descent into the Two-Face character. Aaron Eckhart deserves some credit for his fantastic work here. The Joker was there to help the plot along, and give some it some depth and complexity. The love triangle, then killing off the girlfriend really gave Harvey a reason to snap and hate Batman and the police.
It was all good... the bad cops, the mob money stolen, going to Hong Kong, the hospital blowing up, the two boats waiting to blow each other up; I was on the edge of my seat for all of it. I can't believe how good it was and how little CGI was used... that's how movies are supposed to be made (George Lucas, please take notes).
It wasn't perfect, and there were small things that got on my nerves, like Christian Bale's scratchy death-metal voice and them "borrowing" Daredevil's radar sense special effect... but, those things did not detract from the movie at all. So, from an old-school comic book geek, it was not only the best comic book movie I have ever seen, it was also one of the best movies I've seen, period... but, that's just me...
Doodle
Punisher: War Zone (2008)
Shattered my low expectations
My friend and I went to a matinée showing of "Punisher: War Zone" this past Sunday... I was completely against seeing "The Day Keanu Reeves' Face Stood Still", so this was our only other option... and I was honest with my friend when I said, "the only reason I'm going to this is because I'm a huge comic book geek, and the name 'Marvel' is attached to it... plus, it's rated 'R'"... if it was just some generic, shoot-em-up action film, I would've waited for DVD, or skipped it altogether... needless to say, I wasn't expecting much.
I'm SO glad I forced myself to go! Not only was it the best of the Punisher films so far, it was one of the best comic adaptations to date. No, it wasn't the best movie of the year... but, it treated the source material correctly, and showed respect to its target audience. Movies made from comic books tend to stray from the source material a little too much. As I'm watching it, in my mind I was thinking, "THIS is what the Punisher is all about. He's supposed to be just as crazed as the people he's after!" Ray Stephenson was intense, and the violence and brutality made me smile to think that Lionsgate's name was on it.
(Two separate Lionsgate properties with a villain named Jigsaw... gotta love it!)
It may have been the first slasher film I've ever seen where the slasher was the good guy! I think Frank Castle wasted WAY more people than Jigsaw or his henchmen... (can we get a body count?).
If you're at all a fan of the Punisher comics, especially the later stories, you should like this film. If you're a fan of Lionsgate Films and their gore spectacles, then you will LOVE this film.
9/10
Blood and Chocolate (2007)
Thrilling drama
This is miscast as a horror movie because of the werewolf aspect, but in reality it's more of a drama, with some tense thriller moments thrown in. It mostly focuses on a love story, albeit a dark one. The whole movie had sort of a "Romeo and Juliet" feel to it.
My friend and I settled in for our weekly "horror" screening, but as the story unfolded, we found that we weren't actually disappointed when the killings didn't commence. We were still interested in what would happen to the characters, even though the story didn't fit into any one typical genre. The cinematography was outstanding, the "transformations" were a pretty classy way for them to change, and it was a nice special effect, too.
Neither my friend or I had ever read, or even heard of, the book that this is based on. But, after seeing the movie, we are both interested in reading it. I've read some other reviews on here that complained about certain aspects of the movie, including the dialogue. I didn't have a problem with it, and actually enjoyed some of the lines, like Vivian's "What we are not is what we are taught to fear". Pretty profound, and applicable even to those of use who aren't werewolves.
For violence or gore, there isn't anything you haven't seen on network TV recently. But even if you're a horror fan, don't let that fact keep you from watching Blood and Chocolate.
Saving Sophie (2004)
Quaint female comedy
I saw this independent film at its "Hometown Premier" without any previous knowledge of the story or the filmmakers. The movie was filmed in St. Augustine, FL, utilizing local landmarks, cast and crew. This was the first time being shown in the town in which it was created.
The movie is actually two separate stories with the same characters. Part one involves a wedding, part two with a funeral, with neither being particularly connected with one another.
The film is an adaption of a full-length play, which in itself was an adaption of a one-act play by writer and director Lorraine Portman. Act One of the movie is basically the one-act version of the play, and reads as such. It's also the strongest half of the film.
The core group of characters are four middle-aged women, collectively known as "the aunts". All four are diverse individuals that interact as family might; joking, gossiping, bickering, sniping, but with an underlying warmth and familiarity with one another.
Stage adaptations are sometimes tricky to do, because the dialogue still seems like it's being delivered to a live audience, and that is the case here. Charming, yes. Humorous, yes. However, not entirely compelling because of the timing issues in the dialogue and editing. Plus, there are only two acts to this classic farce, not the usual three. Therefore, when the movie ends, it seems sudden, the story unresolved somehow.
All in all, I enjoyed the experience. Our free screening had some technical glitches in the middle of the film, which resulted in an unscheduled intermission. The director held her cool, however, and continued the screening with the majority of her audience intact. The costumes were effective, and the music was a great contributor. A good start for an independent filmmaker like Ms. Portman.
Batman: Dead End (2003)
The Batman, as he should be...
First of all, Alex Ross would be proud, as this version of Batman is a direct result of his artistic style. Debuting at Comic-Con 2003 in San Diego, filmmaker Sandy Collora wanted to showcase his abilities behind the camera, to show potential employers. This eight-minute mini-epic is the result, and it's a sight to behold.
As soon as you see the old grey and black costume, complete with taped fists, you realize this isn't going to be a technicolor Joel Schumaker kiddie movie. This Batman is dark and gritty, and he's not afraid to get his hands dirty. This is as close as your going to come to the better Batman novels, which tend to have more violent action scenes than the comics, and more realism than any of the movies.
Clark Bartram plays the part very well, and his fighting style looks natural in the costume. Andrew Koenig plays The Joker a little differently than we've seen before, although his performance reminds me of Mark Hamill's animated version (and that's a good thing).
Since this is a short film, (and not one that was ever meant to draw this much attention), the dialogue is kept to a minimum, but it still has impact. Collora mainly concentrates on the visual aspects, like color, tone, angles and motion. His directing style is interesting enough, and makes me want to see what a full feature of this stuff would be like.
Some people might be put off by the inclusion of certain characters, (that I won't mention... don't want to spoil it!). Suffice it to say, Collora didn't dream these confrontations up. Dark Horse Comics did the Batman vs. (surprise) stories back in the mid-to-late 90's, and it's cool to see those concepts brought to life, albeit briefly.
As a die-hard fanboy from way back, all I can say is "It's about time". I know this probably isn't what Warner Bros. has in mind for its 5th Batman movie, but we can dream can't we?
Steel (1997)
Another promising story ruined...
First, let me say, I am a huge fan of the original "Steel" comic book series, and was really looking forward to this movie coming out. Boy, was I in for a shock!
Writer and director Kenneth Johnson has some experience in this genre, having created the "Alien Nation" series and directed episodes of the 70's "Incredible Hulk" show, as well as dozen of movies for television. However, Kenneth is definitely out of his element here, and out of his league. In his first (and last) feature film, Johnson loses his mind and makes changes to the characters that seem frivolous and unflattering.
Mainly, he takes away the red cape and the 'S' shield. This was done to distance this character from the Superman universe, which was asinine, since Warner Bros. owns the rights to all of DC Comics' characters. I didn't understand this thinking at all. The origin of "Steel" centers around on Superman saving his life, and John Henry Irons' whole existence is based on paying tribute to his hero. Hence, the 'S' on the chest and the flowing red cape! To take those (and other) characteristics away make this just another generic superhero.
Shaq's wooden acting aside, "Steel" failed to capture even a hint of the brilliance and nobility of the "Superman" spin-off comic. This, coupled with a ridiculous funk score, lead to something that looks and feels like a cheap TV movie. (Go figure...)
Rollerball (2002)
Something went wrong *SERIOUS Spoilers*
I was really looking forward to seeing this movie, from about a year ago, when I first found out about it. It started out promising enough, but as time went on, I started to doubt more and more. There were too many inconsistencies in the plot, and certain minor details didn't add up. (And, it had some of the worst editing I have ever seen.) Here's a few examples:
*MAJOR SPOILERS* 1) For instance, who the heck is Sergei? They went to his apartment, they got ambushed, then there was a quick mention of him getting killed. But, I still don't know who he was, or why I was supposed to care about him. And why was there a riot? No details are given, or if they are, they aren't given in English.
2) Why shoot the night-time chase scene in NightScope Vision? It was probably supposed to be artistic or something, but GOD was it annoying! And even with all the green lighting to distract you, you can't miss the fact that there's no way Jonathan could have gotten on the motorcycle from the driver's seat that quickly. When it first happened, I thought he got left behind. Then, they cut to a close-up, and he's riding on the back. Plus, when they busted through the barbed-wire fence, and it made that cartoon "boing" sound, my friend and I laughed out loud. It was so wrong!!
3) Why did it take four months for the first act of violence to occur after Jonathan arrives? I say that, because after the first one, we are lead to believe it happens every single game. Or, at least, every single game that has low ratings. So, what, they didn't have low ratings before? It just doesn't fit.
I think the movie's biggest problem was trying to fit an ultra-violent storyline into a PG-13 rating. It's like they changed their minds after they filmed it. 4) Because when Jonathan and his boss are talking at the mines, Jean Reno's mouth clearly says the "F" word, but it was re-looped, so he says "fooling", instead. Like it was edited for television.
5) At the climax scene at the end, when they are trying to beat Jonathan to death, there is blood coming from cuts on his face, and coming from his mouth. But, in the next shot, the blood and cuts are mostly gone, and there are black smudges on his face and clothes. The rest of the players who were fighting suddenly look the same, also. It appears as if there was some gory blood effects that were digitally altered to make them not so violent. Jonathan's shirt also looks like he was just sweating or something, but you know it had to be covered in his own blood at one point. How much did all the digital cleanup cost, I wonder?
6) The "love" scene suffers the same fate. It has no tension, passion or anything worth caring about, not to mention that it lasted all of 5 seconds. Why put it in the movie, then? It didn't last long enough to establish Aurora and Jonathan as an "item", so what good did it do? Either make it longer and more interesting or take it out completely. Again, it's the PG-13 curse. I believe if they had made this movie with an 'R' rating in mind, it would have been MUCH more interesting, and it would have flowed a lot smoother. They screwed it up by trying to patch it up.
And, I just got home from the movie, and I can't remember how it ended. I mean, I know he killed his oppressors, and he walks down a hallway with Aurora... people are now worshiping him. But, I can't remember what happens between that and the credits rolling. I hope that's not how it actually ended. That's how bad it was. There's no lasting memory, no parting shot that makes a difference.
Oh, well... it was all worth it to see Slipknot.
Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
Perfect movie for Halloween, but not a perfect movie
This was the best movie to release on Halloween weekend, but that's not to say it was a perfect movie. First of all, the set design was amazing. The house they get stuck in is not just made of glass walls and floors, it's etched glass. Plus, the walls and floors constantly move, some of which was awesome computer graphics, but most was actually moving sets. The set designer should get nominated for an Oscar, it's that cool. Now, onto the story. I won't get too deep into this, since I don't want to ruin anything. Just suffice it to say that the story wasn't especially strong, but in a film like this, that's almost forgivable. The plot started off semi-fantastic, and ended up in the near-ridiculous. But, again, no sweat. I didn't go to think, I went to be scared. -- The acting was ok, with a hodge-podge cast of characters. The only character I had a problem with was the black nanny. They had written some good stuff for her, until halfway through the movie. During a slower moment in the story, they ran out of intelligent dialogue for her, and she started spouting out token black sayings, like "Stuck in a room with crazy white people", and at the end she says something similar. This leads me to believe that the writer's thought the movie might be too intense, and needed someone to be comic relief. But, I have to tell you, it was completely out of place, and her character became disposable. Besides, we already had comic relief, (albeit DARK comic relief), in the form of Matthew Lillard, of "Scream" fame. -- As mentioned before, the visual special effects are great. The makeup effects are very cool on the 12 ghosts, (the 13th ghost is the secret to the story). The editing was effective, although at times I knew what it felt like to have epilepsy. The sound effects and creepy score were the real key to making this movie scary. There are, fortunately, plenty of weird sounds and whispered voices in the theater to make you look behind you. Unfortunately, however, some of the key sound effects were turned up so loud that it was almost painful. I imagine the producers wanted to give that extra "push" to the audience, but it was somewhat distracting. -- Now, a couple of things I wanted to point out about specific things in the movie, one good and one bad. First of all, in case you don't know, the idea of putting on special glasses in order to see the ghosts is taken directly from the original "13 Ghosts" by William Castle. In the 50's, Castle was the P.T. Barnum of filmmaking, and would do anything to scare an audience. He was known for flying a skeleton over the crowd's head during "House on Haunted Hill", and even making theater goers sign a waiver before going into the movie, which released William Castle from prosecution in case the viewer died of fright. In another picture, he rigged all the theater seats so that he could give the audience a small electric shock during a pivotal scene. For the original "13 Ghosts", viewers were given a pair of special glasses, similar to 3-D glasses, and were told that if you got too scared during the film, just take off the glasses, and the ghosts would disappear. This piece of quirky nostalgia was not only mentioned in the remake, but it was made an intregal part of the plot. Very cool, indeed. -- **MINOR SPOILER AHEAD** -- The only goof I found in the film was a BIG one. Lillard's character makes a point to tell us that the glass walls are soundproof. Later, he's stuck inside one of the glass rooms without his trusty glasses. He gave the glasses to the black nanny, who says "I'm sorry" for locking him in there. And he hears her! Then, when he's attacked in the same room by a nasty ghost, she starts yelling instructions like, "Duck!" and "Move!" Yeah, soundproof, right.
The Mummy Returns (2001)
Would make a good computer game **SPOILERS**
WARNING - SERIOUS SPOILERS AHEAD
If you're looking for (somewhat) fast-paced action, and (almost) incredible computer graphics, then The Mummy Returns is for you! If you're looking for things like dialogue, character development or story lines, this might not be your movie.
I mentioned that this might make a good video game, because half the time that's what I felt like I was watching, culminating with the CHEESY monster at the end. They couldn't even superimpose The Rock's real face somehow, they had to computer animate him, and the results are cartoonish and laughable. The other half of the time, I felt like I was watching a new stunt show at Universal Studios (not a bad idea, eh, Universal? Just make sure I get credit...).
I have to say, the character of Imotepp was much more interesting as a computer-generated, half-rotted mummy than he is later when gets his skin back. I had a problem with him mysteriously (and conveniently) losing his powers just before the big fight. What we had been waiting for the whole movie, a battle between two legendary warriors, turns out to be pretty lame.
I had other problems with the script, such as the strange scene where the kid (Alex) gets kidnapped off the bus. Alex goes to the back of the bus because his parents are kissing (again), and then... nothing. Nothing happens for a good two or three seconds. Alex just kind of stands there, looking around and then, finally someone grabs him. It looks like someone forgot their cue, and the poor kid had to improvise. Not to mention the writers' excuse to get Alex away from his parents, is because right after a deadly battle with the undead, they like to make out.
And why, oh why, did they even bother to tell us that Rick MIGHT be a Magi? Even when he realized it was true, what good did that do? That may have been the lamest plot point of all time.
Anyway, if you liked The Mummy, you may like this one. Something tells me that in the original Mummy series from the 30's, that Boris Karloff's sequels were probably just as dumb.
Gladiator (2000)
Fine acting and special effects fest
It's nice to see a movie with this much graphic violence win Best Picture. Maybe there's hope for Halloween 27 after all. All kidding aside, it was a disturbingly accurate picture of the Roman Empire during that period in history. The blood lust of the mob can certainly be compared to modern-day sporting events. Professional wrestling comes to mind, among other things. While not a perfect picture, neither was anything else this year. Even though "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and "Traffic" were probably better movies, "Gladiator" has more feel-good crowd appeal. I do believe that Russell Crowe deserved his Best Actor Oscar, and his supporting cast did a superb job as well. Plush sets, great costumes, and incredible computer graphics.