chrihern Reviews

Lightyear (2022)

Andy had a bad taste for movies

[3/10 · 26 June 2022]

The lack of story telling is awful: a convoluted story of an space explorer mixed with time travel required a better story telling. The movie simply jumped from a extraterrestrial jungle adventure to a twins paradox situation in less than 10 minutes, as fast than Buzz Lightyear flight times. No surprise children got sleep or wanted to get out well before the movie ended.

I didn't see the rest of the movie, too boring. Bailed out after 20 minutes mark.

Don't Look Up (2021)

Very bad as a satire: you can't critize people for vices they don't have.

[3/10 · 16 January 2022]

People is making a lot of different interpretations about Don't look up message because is lost in translation.

Yes, is about Climate Change inaction but they used the wrong metaphor ever: the supposed inaction humanity will have if an asteroid will collide with Earth.

Then McKay end criticizing people for not believing in Science when that is not true, the day some scientist predict an Asteroid falling on Earth will be a listened by everyone not as happens with climate change.

That is an utter failed satire. Fans try to pass this as an "artistic liberty" but satire is about real defects not invented defects.

The Matrix Resurrections (I) (2021)

Spend your money in other movie

[3/10 · 25 December 2021]

If you go to theater you will be really disappointed to pay a ticket to see this.

At some point Matrix 4 turn hardly watchable no surprise many people walk out: writers try to do so many things become a complete mess.

At some points you feel like is a mashup of Matrix and Total Recall or Matrix and World War Z, maybe some people find these parts amusing but end in nothing.

The Notebook (2004)

It's a surprisingly a bad movie

[2/10 · 14 September 2021]

I was doing a "Rachel McAdams marathon" and previously saw The hot chick and Mean Girls: I only can conclude these movies are far better than The Notebook.

After reading Wikipedia article about Rachel McAdams i tough The Notebook was the pivotal role for her: that interpretation can't be more wrong.

I lacked the endurance to see this movie complete, i simply fast forward and dropped out at the second or third scene because is too predictable, and unbelievable at some points.

1)- From the introduction scene you can feel there is a "plot twist" so obvious don't work at all: you know from the very start who are that couple.

2)- It's a romance movie not an action movie, the protagonist is not intended to do that stunt he does in the park, that thing under the traffic lights is something you can believe in a fantasy movie but here looks awful and stupid... the thing with the hundred ducks... goosling building a mansion without money or help... too much fantasy for this kind of movie.

3) This story was told so many times, you know the rich girl and the poor guy. At least Titanic had the tragedy about a Transatlantic sinking, this movie has nothing more, resulting boring, slow paced and predictable.

The Hot Chick (2002)

It's a silly movie but a good one

[10/10 · 7 September 2021]

Don't understand why some people expect every movie to be an Oscar candidate. This movie is silly and never pretend to be anything different: delivers a lot of easy but effective comedy.

There is a worth of more than 30 min of deleted scenes and honestly they did a good job getting a final cut, many of them are nice but will made the movie too long and boring.

As an early Rachel McAdams movie is a gem, she did a good impression, is a bit pity she didn't get more time in the theatrical cut and many ideas of Rachel acting as a guy scenes never got finished.

Howard the Duck (1986)

Howard the duck looks extremely dated

[1/10 · 29 August 2021]

If were a period drama about the mid 80's this movie would be perfect: everything screams 1985.

The lack of any other redeemable characteristic make this movie unwatchable, the "special effects" are awful.

It's like an anti-Star Wars movie: have all the wrongs the blockbuster didn't had.

Mean Girls 2 (2011 TV Movie)

Don't blame the original: as an stand alone movie will be awful too

[1/10 · 29 August 2021]

Imagine for a moment the original Mean Girls didn't exist: this movie will be same bad as is now as a "second part".

Is not only a bad sequel is a bad movie by its own merits: every character is a caricature, each scene try to be more unrealistic and forced than the scenes before.

Maybe very young girls can enjoy it but in any measure is a way to waste your time.

Music (I) (2021)

Aside from Autism controversy Music is a bad written movie

[2/10 · 27 February 2021]

Supposing Maddie Ziegler did a better depiction of an autistic person that will not resolve the big problems of Music: is like someone remade Rain Man as a musical and deleted the interesting plot and characters elements. When you see Music you ended asking yourself who is Felix, how a drug dealer can act like a gay friend or how a guy wants to go to a wedding between his brother and his own ex. Autism depiction is not the only thing wrong in Sia's movie.

The Simpsons: The Computer Wore Menace Shoes (2000) Season 12, Episode 6

When things start falling apart for the Simpsons

[5/10 · 15 September 2020]

People often says older Simpsons are the better Simpsons and is true. Until 2000 the series was a long stretch of victories. This is the first episode when you feel something has changed and not for better. The episode have one of the stellar moments of the series with MR X tale: first half is flawless and very memorable 20 years after. Thing become very awful in the last part: that about that British series nobody knows. The Simpsons always made references to pop culture (i see the plot of The Shining in the Simpsons before the movie or TV serie) but always work as stand alone piece: was not a prerequisite to know what they were making reference.

In this episode simply don't work: there was a over reliance on "The Prisioner" to understand what was happening and that was a big mistake. The last part ot the episode is a mess.

Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey: Hiding in the Light (2014) Season 1, Episode 5

Try to give too many messages

[3/10 · 12 September 2020]

Light in astronomy is all but that message was lost between too much social commentary and pretended scientific method explanation.

Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey: Standing Up in the Milky Way (2014) Season 1, Episode 1

Sequel start really wrong

[2/10 · 11 September 2020]

We know Television is not like in 1980 but making half of the visual narrative on a weird style cartoon make things look cheap and out of place. That overuse of cartoons was not a good departure from the original but in some way is tolerable.

The big problem with "Standing Up in the Milky Way" was choosing Giordano Bruno as a protagonist: honestly don't know why that character get in new Cosmos premiere episode. The series started with Tyson presenting himself as a successor of Sagan but that protagonist choice make you to doubt about these claims.

I was trully disappointed after seeing this first chapter: after 6 years i have seen 2 or 3 more episodes and were very unremarkable.

Boiler Room (2000)

If you want to understand how Wolf of wallstreet do so much money see this movie

[9/10 · 28 December 2019]

Boiler Room is a very underrated movie about how stocks work. If you wanted to know how Jordan Belfort make his money you have to see this movie: from the sales pitch to the works of the scam.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

A good bang for the buck but nothing more

[3/10 · 22 December 2019]

With Rise of Skywaker the cultural phenomenon of Star Wars look like a thing from a galaxy far away: Episode IX delivers a good amount of visual candy and some nostalgia scenes but nothing more than cheap entertainment. Saying Star Wars is only a movie was never easy but now everyone agrees.