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The Simpsons: Krusty Gets Kancelled (1993)
The first Zombie Simpsons episode?
The first half of the episode is solid. Gabbo vs Krusty is an interesting enough premise. The ridiculous media hype over Gabbo is satirized well enough. Unfortunately everything is squandered in the second half by just spamming random celebrities who have nothing to do with the plot or each other, rather than advance the narrative. The episode features Beth Midler literally catching a truck on the motorway by foot, then throwing it barehands in a ravine, with no real context, which is everything you need to know about it. This is the kind of tired, over-the-top, self-referential gags that would make purists mad a decade later. Obviously celebrity cameos were nothing new, but writers in this era usually did a very good job at either writing a touching episode around said celebrity(the Michael Jackson episode), or inserting them as nice flavor of the week backdrop(Aerosmith in Flaming Moe's). Unfortunately Krusty Gets Kancelled tries to have its cake and eat it too. The celebrities involved are clearly supposed to be the highlight, yet only have a series of disjointed gags to their name, and overall serve as plot devices at best.
By comparing this episode to "Zombie Simpsons" I am in no way pretending that 1993 was the beginning of the end for Bart and co. Season 4 was extremely good, and the show had many years before its grizzly demise. However, it is the first time that the show acted as an antithesis to its very premise in a major way. The Simpsons' main goal, at heart, was to criticize and satirize American values, culture and consumerism, and in particular, TV. Krusty gets Kancelled, as an episode based on TV and Springfield's undying clown misses the mark. The answer to being outshined by another entertainer is not supposed to be having more random names and more production value to your own program, this is a very cynical message and it is surprising to see the Simpsons parroting it with no kind of self-awareness as soon as the early 90s. Especially in a season finale, where having the most guest starts in the show's history(at that point) was obviously used to get a few media mentions and a cheap emotional pay-off before a few months break.
Perhaps the writers saw the errors of their way, as the next episodes based on Krusty's rating woes went in a totally opposite direction, even though they were at the start of the show's supposed decline(Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie in season 8, the Last Temptation of Krust in season 9). But that's another story.
Emily in Paris (2020)
Horrendous
This is basically a show where boring, unlikable, superficial people navigate around the worst clichés about Paris. Paris is pictured as this magical place where nothing bad ever happens, where you can show up from nowhere, do the bare minimum and get high fives all around for being such a wonderful human being. The rest of France is either ignored, or pictured at best as an amusement park for clueless tourists, and at worst as a place where reject go to die. The closest thing to a villain in this story is the one who sees through Emily's bluff, of course. Every 5 minutes Emily is shown posting vapid pictures on her Instagram, with of course a (fairly unrealistic) follow count in the background. It doesn't serve any purpose other than to offer a couple of cheap secondary plot devices, and to make Emily extra #relatable of course - even Emily herself does not seem to care much about it. The show occasionally co-opts feminist language to press hard-hitting issues like nudity in advertising, but I guess if in your universe your average 20-something working woman has a life as good as Emily, that's gotta be one of the main issues of the day.
In the end, this was just boring and predictable enough to work as white noise while working on other stuff, so I'm giving it 2/10. The best joke of the show was the way it managed to get a second season so easily. Thanks, Netflix, and thanks, Emily in Paris. I guess miracles do happen.
The Simpsons: Married to the Blob (2014)
Worst Episode Ever? No, just a cynical pixie dream tale
The 21st century saw its share of dull and uncreative Simpsons episodes. However, a couple times a season, we get one of those train-wrecks that show how far the series has gone from its original premise, despite a complete aversion to change anything from the series' universe, which spawned more than 30 years ago. Some of those truly provide good insight into the fall of one of TV's most influential shows. Married to the Blob is one of them. A very unfitting title I should say, given that the episode could very well act as a Comic Book Guy self-aggrandizing fantasy. This is not Everyman - at least the Everyman episode had some genuinely good moments, and had CBG acting in a believable manner.
The plot is as following : CBG feels sad about himself because he's lonely(well, duh). A random Japanese mangaka, Kumiko, enters into his shop and immediately falls for him for no apparent reason. They marry(yes, this is an actual, canon marriage, not one of those Viva Las Vegas deals). Then Kumiko's dad goes to America and basically tries to kidnap his daughter. Then dad meets Homer, they get super drunk together, then they have a bad trip where dad realizes he's being a huge jerk. Dad apologizes then goes home. The end. I really wish I could say there were more but... that's it.
The whole episode's point was to have a manic pixie dream girl moment for CBG. Yet amazingly, despite the show's willingness to stick to its guns(the marriage still stands several years later, somehow), there is nothing behind it. No character development, no plot, nothing. Kumiko's whole personality is basically girl, Japanese, mangaka. That's it. Little more is known about her. At some point mid-episode it is revealed that she is attracted to CBG because he is rude and sarcastic(yes, really!), but at the same time it is rather far-fetched for a person who acts more like a stereotypically Japanese person than an expat. Kumiko is mild-mannered and writes slice-of-life manga... seems like the kind of person who stay clear of CBG at all costs. But anyway. Mismatched couple routines can be interesting for the everyday struggles and comic situations, but there are none, we only get two short scenes of the couple's everyday life over some generic J-Pop track. Okay. For those unaware, having a Japanese girlfriend is the ultimate fantasy for so many white nerdy guys it has become a tired cliche. Having CBG marrying a Japanese girl with no punchline is just... so unlike the Simpsons I've loved in the past. Like if Hans Moleman won the lottery and had a whole 20 minutes episode where he gets tanned in the Bahamas.
This episode reeks of the "have your cake and eat it too" mentality of the Big Bang Theory, where characters ridiculed for years get a big emotional pay off out of nowhere for no apparent reason. But at least Big Bang, despite its misogyny, had somewhat developed female characters. Kumiko does not get that chance. She remains an empty shell. Possibly forever. Which is very depressing considering how rarely we get new returning characters these days. Look how far the writers will go to avoid the process, with Krabappel likely being canonically dead, yet still unreplaced 7 years later. It's as if someone in a committee decided to come up with a potentially viral, yet uncontroversial development, without allowing the writers to develop it any further. The episode feels tailored for 10-seconds clip consumption on social media, without any sort of coherent plot whatsoever.
Shootout to the unusually long(and uninteresting) couch gag, and the few minutes long Radioactive man animation(really...?). They add nothing to the episode, and only serve to eat away what could've been saved from this very mediocre main plot. A couple more minutes are spent with Kumiko's dad's hallucination, which basically acts as a challenge to cram as many Ghibli references as possible(we get it, everyone likes Ghibli). Tacky, but a few animations were kind of cool I guess.
At this point I cannot tell whether 3/10 is too harsh or generous. It feels generous given how far it fell from its potential, how an interesting premise could have achieved an interesting result, a small step away from Springfield's decades of status quo and decadence. But at the same time, if the premise was big enough to keep you watching for 20 minutes... does it really matter ?
If My Heart Had Wings (2012)
Fly High to the Sky
This VN is romance based, but it mostly shines for its depictions of teenage friendships and hardships. Many of the main characters experienced early life trauma, and are recovering together while working hard towards a common goal. Seeing a bunch of broken misfits come back to life while working on a puny plane just works... well, surprisingly. Bonus point for having a protagonist who has a real story, and who is not a creep or a doormat. The story itself is a little over the top, but it's alright if you embrace the Hollywood-like cheesiness. This is a feel good game, after all.
The concept artists did a wonderful job, Kazegaura feels like an unique, vibrant place that you'd like to visit. I think this is a very important piece of the puzzle, this is a long game, and it has the chops both in terms of art and story to keep you immersed for a long time.
The game is, still, a little harem-y and trope based, but nothing too dramatic.
Formula 1: 2005 United States Grand Prix (2005)
Storm in teacup
The race itself was boring, but the broadcast is well worth watching if you're a diehard fan. One of F1's weirdest event and biggest political crisis packed in 1 hour and 30 minutes of TV, with confusion and hot takes galore. Paul Stoddart's expletive-ridden rant on Dutch TV is still legendary to this day.
It's Grime Up North (2019)
A decent follow up to Noisey Blackpool
This documentary is not so much a look at a music scene as an answer to one of 21st century's quintessential question: "Is there a life after going viral?"
Blackpool grime is an interesting experiment. Several young artists of the northern seaside town became overnight sensations after recording millions of views on YouTube in 2016. But unfortunately, as of 2019, none of them managed to translate their fame into regular income.
One of the staple of YouTube's attention economy is the total disregard for the aftermath. Many of the online grifters who make and break memes do not have the time, resources or even interest in finding out what happens to the people they propelled to the top. And, unfortunately, mainstream media is often slow at filling the void, as their bread and butter is still all too often TV, movies and top 40 stars. Which is why entities like Noisey and Channel 4 should be lauded when they do walk the walk.
It's Grime Up North was released 2 years after Noisey Blackpool's second and last edition in 2017, though the recording occurred in mid-to-late 2018. Unlike Noisey's 30 minutes format, Channel 4 decided to go for 2x45 minutes. While the pace suffers a bit, the increased amount of air time allows the crew to follow more artists, for a longer span of time.
Noisey focused on Blackpool's big 3 - Little T, Soph Aspin, and Afghan Dan. To everyone's delight the two feuding teenagers are back on Channel 4. Both are still aiming to hit the big time, but are going different directions: Little T is staying in grime, but has to fight off the bad stage fright and anxiety that plague him. Soph, meanwhile, is as confident as ever, and has shifted her attention to pop music. Afghan Dan, however, is the major absentee, which is not a huge surprise given that he spent most of 2018 in jail. Filling the gap is no other than the charismatic CallyManSam, through his latest project LOE(with Shelton, Ricko and Damo), a welcome addition after failing to meet the cut twice on Noisey. One of the show's highlights is LOE's powerful live performance of his biggest hit "It's CallyManSam", at the end of episode 2. Also featured are Alex Aspin, Millie B - who left the scene after being a mom at 18 - and the lesser known but eccentric Tommy Kray - chasing the dream between two jail stints.
While being nowhere near as nasty or sarcastic as YouTube hitpieces, IGUN is still aimed at a mainstream public, and sometimes just scratch the surface of the reality of being a struggling artist, or growing up working class in a crumbling, gloomy seaside town. The show spends a lot of time with Little T's mum Donna, but more one-on-one time with the actual artists would have been appreciated. Also, like Noisey, IGUN makes the surprising decision of not ever mentioning BGMedia or Jack Wilkinson. Despite being behind all of Blackpool's stars biggest hits, the producer remains as elusive as ever in 2019. A real shame, there was more to dig there.
Overall, a slightly superficial show, but a pleasant update on our favorite northern misfits nevertheless. Here's hoping for a season 2 in 2020.