solebanana Reviews

Final Destination 3 (2006)

Lots of blood and gore but formula running out of steam

[7/10 · 1 March 2006]

This is suspense horror done to a formula, the same formula in fact as the first two in the series. If you liked those you'll like this, though I don't think it's quite as good as the second. It certainly isn't a flop and it does hold your attention very well all the way to the end. The plot is again fairly preposterous, and at least once it didn't obviously appear to have followed its own rules. I should also say for the benefit of anyone who has NOT seen the first two, some of it is skated over a bit quickly, sort of a recap to remind regular viewers, so listen up when it comes.

This isn't one to take grandma to. It delivers every quarter hour more or less, a lead in of perhaps half a minute or a minute signalling that something is likely to happen and some clues as to what sort of thing it will be. This is followed by perhaps fifteen or thirty seconds of fierce, fast and often gut-wrenching action. There is then usually some more plot until it's time for the next jolt. Like the previous two and particularly the second it does like to try and surprise you with details, so it sometimes does and sometimes doesn't play out the way it looks as if it's going to.

You may also have fun guessing what order things will happen in, particularly if you follow the first 20 minutes or so closely, as you may get some clues there.

Without giving anything away, the ending did suggest to me that they were thinking in terms of a fourth. I may be reading too much into it, but that's how it looked. My gut feeling is that this would be a mistake. Three times round for the same formula is enough. After a while it's too repetitious. Think of the Matrix series. Think of Clouseau and the Pink Panther. Time for Final Destination to take a bow and leave the stage.

The Driller Killer (1979)

Sobering, sad, but not very shocking, story of urban poverty

[6/10 · 7 August 2005]

This was the most controversial film of its era. Often coupled in the UK with another film the video for which was out around the same time, I spit on your grave, it was at the centre of a furious row. The view often expressed about these sorts of films was that showing violence caused some people to copy it in real life, and that especially in any children who might see it, it corrupted minds and damaged morals. This story about an artist who for reasons not entirely clear starts killing people with a power drill provoked an angry backlash and was banned.

I saw a television version of this film and it wasn't at all what the fierce row led me to expect. For a start a punk rock band seemed to play a central roll in proceedings. Secondly although there were certainly drill killings they weren't immediate, the version I saw the camera angles usually stopped the viewer seeing very much, and a lot of the running time of the film really wasn't about that. The real subject was much more straightforward - urban poverty, and the floundering relationship between the artist and the main female character. The film did suggest some hopes of the artist and those close to him escaping that poverty by the use of his talent as an artist. Whether they succeed, what happens to the relationship, and how real the artist's talent was or was not, I of course leave you to find out for yourself.

There did also seem to be a definite feeling of disapproval towards punk rock and arguably the punk culture, but given the way the film was apparently promoted (rivers of blood not stopping and so forth), these subtleties were lost. There was even some attention to characters and relationships. Seen today, it is a saddening, sobering film, more than a shocking one.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Feature length toy advert

[5/10 · 23 May 2005]

Whilst this is reasonably absorbing while it runs, in point of fact it consists of conversations full of phrases along the lines of "the force is strong in him", "you must never underestimate the power of the dark side", "they will join with the force", etc etc etc etc, with long fight scenes at intervals. These often though not always involve robots or partial robots (that is with some organic components, such as General Grivas), and also often involve the light sabres. Sadly this looks less like an honest intellectual endeavour, and more like an effort to make the most of the toy franchise.

I suspect part of the reason for the good box office figures is the billing of this as being the last one, that is filling the gap between episode 2 and episode 4 (which if I understand correctly is the original film). However given this amount of money coming in, its just not conceivable that it will be left there. Either the originals will be re-released, possibly tweaked here and there (sound, special effects etc), or some way will be found to extend the saga (such as some form of spin off). I say this with heavy heart, but I fear it's true. The force was not strong in this film, but you must never underestimate the power of the dark side.

Shark Tale (2004)

Didn't hold my attention

[6/10 · 30 October 2004]

Animated sea tale, with obvious comparisons with Finding Nemo. Shouldn't be any reason for it not to work, but in spite of some nice moments, increasingly as it went on I found myself checking my watch instead of watching it, and some of it was too embarrassing to watch.

It's hard to put my finger on what the problem was, as it isn't obvious. The characters are a bit, erm, two dimensional, and Will Smith's Oscar is too foolish to be likable. It does look far too similar in terms of setting and some of the plot to Finding Nemo, as if there was a jumping on the bandwagon for lack of any better ideas. The ending, while it has Disney-type morality in it, is really too trite for anyone over five to be inspired by.

You'll be entertained by this in places, though not consistently, but in the end it won't amount to very much. It doesn't have the flair, consistent humour and magic that say Emperor's New Groove had. It's more like Disney on an off day.... still cranking out the same formula, but not entirely convincingly.

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)

Not many actual laughs, this is for Ben Stiller fans only

[4/10 · 13 September 2004]

I laughed twice, half laughed once and smiled two or three times. Sorry, but for a comedy this just isn't enough. The humour such as it is, is of the slapstick variety and is often violent. Initially Dodgeball only intermittently held my attention, though it did get better as it went on, especially when it got to the main tournament and the action sequences. A good performance from Vince Vaughn, especially considering that he was given little to work with, and a reasonable one from Christine Taylor, couldn't save this film from being a cheesy turkey that misses the mark as often as the misfit dodgeball team it portrays. If you absolutely love Ben Stiller (who isn't on screen as often as you'd think) and are in uncritical mood, you may find it more enjoyable than I did. Otherwise, see something else.

Open Water (2003)

Blair witch at sea... with teeth

[7/10 · 12 September 2004]

I have to admit to having been worried that this would be a case of "they got a bit nervous but nothing happened". I have to report without wishing to do any spoilers, that something did happen.

It looks like they filmed 20-25 minutes of likable (despite photography that seemed to be trying to hard to be clever) travelogue, and a certain amount (not saying how much to avoid spoiling it) of conclusion, and the odd shot or two else, and then went to see with some meat and some cameras. I do get the feeling like blair witch that a lot of it was improvised and genuine reactions rather than scripted.

Having said that, I have to report that by the time this shortish film reached the hour mark I had found it so harrowing that I had basically had enough and wanted a boat to turn up and rescue them. As to whether it did, you'll have to go and see.

So what was the problem? Well usually a film has to have some sort of climax, the ending of which relieves the tension and resolves the situation. If you think of three possible endings, they both get rescued, one does, or neither do, none of them really offer a way of doing that. Sure, two of them could be very gory, but even that wouldn't be a climax as such.

So at the end whichever ending it is, it's really inevitable that the audience would be left with a feeling as the credits started to roll, of, oh, is that it? and at the screening I went to, they palpably did feel that.

My advice is, go see it, if you can enjoy it while it lasts and not worry about how it ends. If you like lots of fireworks and a big climax at the end of your films, this might not be the right film for you.

The Actors (2003)

Less! Less!

[5/10 · 17 May 2003]

Strange effort part funded by the now-defunct FilmFour and DreamWorks amongst others, supported by the Irish film board. Basically two actors trying to act their way out of trouble.

Let's start with the good news. Child actress, very good, convincing. Lena Headey as Dolores, stunning, smouldering, good performance, I'll come back to her in a moment. Dylan Moran as Tom, good enough. Michael Caine as fading actor O'Malley, quite good, believable. Michael Gambon as Barreller, mostly quite good though sometimes he did look a bit too much like, well, Michael Gambon. Plot a bit perfunctory, Tom (at O'Malley's suggestion) pretends to be someone who Barreller owes money to and collects it instead. Things then start going wrong.

So what's the problem?

Though there are laughs along the way, some of it I found too horribly embarassing to watch, and at one point even to listen to (I put my fingers in my ears for a minute or two). It does have a romantic sub-plot, but it isn't central enough to call this a romantic film. I should also say that some of the material involving Dolores, towards the end, is dodgey for 15 year olds, and this should really be considered X-rated. In the states it's a 17-cert (R rating) not a 15 as in the UK.

I liked the throwaway ending, but though I wanted to enjoy the film, really I did, too much of it was neither funny nor entertaining. Sorry but it didn't do it for me, in spite of favourable external reviews.

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002)

Good effort, well scripted

[8/10 · 13 January 2003]

Picard is given plenty of problems to contend with here, and things get about as tough as they can get. He's also given a cunning, highly skilled adversary to test him to the limit. There's also an ending with real teeth, which did succeed in moving me to tears. This is much more than simply a feature length episode, it has a good story line, but oh what a pity that Patrick Stewart couldn't produce a better performance with some emotional force. This could have been a great film, if it had been better acted.

Die Another Day (2002)

Promising opening slides into usual fantasies (mild spoilers)

[5/10 · 14 December 2002]

This starts promisingly enough, with Bond for once not coming out on top, and the secret service glamour fading off to leave the grim reality of Korea. The manner of his leaving it was also fair enough, but after that the plot and the technology got more and more far fetched. I'm afraid at the point where the invisible car was introduced it all got too much. This is escapist nonsense, a rainy-day sort of film. Sadly it was nowhere near as good as the previous Bond outing, and suggests the sad descent of the series into meaninglessness was only temporarily halted. I wish there was a way back for Bond, but I fear he has been pushed so far into fantasy land he is now marooned there.

The Wedding Dress (2001 TV Movie)

Quietly charming without being exceptional

[7/10 · 13 January 2002]

The story more of the dress than any of the characters. Nice story, uplifting, nice happy ending. I liked Zoe better than the other characters. I have to say her rival at the beginning did come across as so cynical and hard-hearted that it was difficult to see anyone loving her. This marred the film which was a pity. Don't expect too much, but it will pass the time reasonably pleasantly.

Moulin Rouge! (2001)

Wobbly start but developed tremendous force later

[9/10 · 8 October 2001]

This strange film, apparently a film within a film, started off rather eccentricly and at various times included literally a singing man in the moon, a green angel with wings and people flying a la superman. Despite being set in 1899-1900, it included music from such "19th" century songwriters as Elton John, Madonna, and Paul McCartney, and bizarrely even parts of The Sound of Music. Supposedly a lot of this was composed spontaneously by the penniless hero, a romantic dreamer who spoke of love but knew nothing of it. Let's be honest, this wasn't a promising start, but what developed steadily as it went through was a very human story of emotion and conflict, including a choice between feelings and materialism. As to which won, and what became of the hero and the courtesan he fell in love with, you'll have to watch it and see - but expect a real tear-jerker of a story which will ultimately make you forget the preposterous way it has been filmed. Too emotional to be my "favourite" film, but certainly in the top ten.

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Shark shocker lacks raw power of Jaws - partial spoiler

[6/10 · 6 August 2001]

Briefly, the sharks concerned due to unlikely causes have been souped up to be more intelligent than your average shark, sort of bionic sharks. You can just see the meeting on this - "It'll be like jaws but with meaner sharks, they'll be picked off like Alien" - but the characterisation and shrewd social comment that added so much to Jaws just wasn't there. Bionic sharks munching research wallies doesn't I'm afraid in the end make a classic film, though it passed the time. It's a sort of rainy afternoon type film - as long as you don't expect any more from it than that, go ahead and watch. As to how many of them survive, which ones, and if they do, how, well you'll just have to wait and see.

Rush Hour 2 (2001)

Adequate light-hearted action, pity about the goofy yank

[6/10 · 5 August 2001]

The temptation to compare this with the highly successful original really is irresistable and I'm afraid that it did come out a bit tired and lukewarm. Touches of humour but didn't seem to be as much as in the original. A lot of it revolved round the goofy stupid American. I realise this was a deliberate feature of the formula but did he really have to be QUITE so goofy and stupid?? It passed the time, but no more than that. During out takes at the end, Goofy American is seen saying something like, "Well he's not going to be in Rush Hour 3". ANOTHER sequel?? Enough already. Two films on one formula is enough. No more. OK? (Though sadly I fear we'll get one, even more tired than this. Quite honestly Chan deserves better.)

An Ideal Husband (I) (1999)

Great premise, good story but took too long to wind up

[7/10 · 8 April 2001]

This is based on a bet. Not wanting to give too much away suffice it to say that a calculating affirmed bachelor bets an equally calculating female that someone else will do what he thinks... and that if he loses the bet he will marry her. (As to who wins, well you'll just have to wait and see.) I loved this as a premise, and it was a good story that unwound fast enough to maintain interest, but once the basic outcome was known it took too long to tie the loose ends up. This was probably inherent in the original play, but it was a pity.

A Perfect Murder (1998)

Decent enough thriller, what's everyone carping about?

[7/10 · 1 April 2001]

Remake of Hitchcock's Dial M for Murder, which was itself based on a stage play. There was one problem with the plot, without giving it away something about a key, but other than that it was absorbing, even engrossing. Although it did feature police it was really a suspense movie rather than a detective film. Again without wanting to give it away, people of a sensitive disposition might prefer not to see it. For the rest of us, entertaining enough. I came away satisfied.

Save the Last Dance (2001)

Bit predictable, tough black ghetto bit maybe overdone

[5/10 · 30 March 2001]

Girl who turned her back on her dreams when her mother died is encouraged to seek them again. Heavy emphasis on the tough life of blacks in parts of the states. Plot line very predictable. I have seen some intelligent comment that some of the things this GIRL does (she's supposed to still be at school remember) are not really a good role model and these criticisms do seem very cogent. I have seen worse, it's watchable, but try and find another better film to spend your money on.