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Forever My Girl (2018)
I expected little and got even less
Most student films I've seen were not only more engaging, but more technically competent than this. Character shots are mostly either off-center, too close, or both. This injury is further compounded by the literally almost constant use of slow pans. The sheer, unapologetic sloppiness of the lighting is hard to miss, even for casual fans of schlock cinema. Scenes other than exteriors in Saint Augustine are weirdly desaturated, creating a viewing experience that's boring as well as amateurish.
Altogether, the largely plodding and possibly drug-addled performances are barely less awful than the filmmakers' technical prowess. Alex Roe, playing sentient pork roast Liam, is a vocalist of such conventional and marketable talent that one may wonder why he didn't just sign to a label. After all, the vaguely arthropodan cognition he appears to have applied to his breakout film role doesn't suggest a bright future in acting. The very average Jessica Rothe excels among the entire cast, as the conflicted, guarded, but affectionate Josie. That said, the shamefully inert screenplay offers her no chance to push herself. John Benjamin Hickey is acceptably dour as Liam's father Brian, embodying a pathetically suburban character that might be sighted on a commercial for asthma medication. The infuriatingly precocious and sage Billy, daughter of Liam and Josie, is played by Abby Ryder Fortson, doubtless to the best of her ability. Rather than blaming perhaps the most annoying child actor in history for this atrocity of a character, I blame the writers for amalgamating the most pandering, exploitative movie child tropes of the past several decades into a single entity.
Nothing but the plainest, most common chord progressions are to be heard in the score. Unexpectedly, however, I enjoyed the contributions of Little Big Town to the soundtrack, as well as an admittedly pointless cameo from Travis Tritt.
I took a gamble on Forever My Girl and feel as though I've lost it all. Allow me to outline the very worst of the film's egregious failings, namely, the asinine, broken, contemptuous structure of its story. Consider that Liam left St. Augustine as a runaway groom, and returned for his friend's funeral. Audiences who expect any explanation for his disappearance, explicit or implicit, will experience the supreme heights of moviegoing disappointment when, instead, they receive nothing and are told to like it. It gets worse. In life, the dead friend received two lousy lines, and in death, no backstory or acknowledgment whatsoever from millionaire playboy Liam. It gets even worse. The story's central conflict, that of Liam and Josie's longtime estrangement, is all but resolved by the start of the second act. Only one catalyst for lesser conflict remains, which I thought was so unintentionally, stupendously funny that I recommend others see the film for themselves based on the scene in question alone.
Tangled (2010)
Disney returns to form
I was very pleased with last year's The Princess and the Frog, and this year Disney has again impressed me. Tangled brings back the likes of Glen Keane and Alan Menken in a visually delightful and fun reprise of the sort of films Disney produced twenty years ago, although the dialogue and pacing is noticeably modernized; such is either good or bad, depending on, among other factors, your age. Alan's creative touch in the film's songs is immediately recognizable to older Disney fans, as is, regrettably, the inevitable use of Autotune (although Mandy Moore is a perfect choice for a Disney heroine, as she both acts and sings exquisitely). The two leads speak much as two teenagers today would, although some of Flynn's lines are too corny to tolerate.
No review of this film would be complete without praise for the stunning backgrounds and perfectly calibrated lighting, as well as Rapunzel's incredibly rendered hair; I, not normally a fan of computer animation, was visually satiated throughout the entire picture. The visual style of Tangled was clearly less photorealistic than simply photogenic, which is a sight for sore eyes after an industry-wide bombardment of gaudy effects for the better part of a decade.
In summary, long-time followers of Disney would do well to see Tangled, as would children who have yet to be introduced to the studio's work.
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
Pretty, but I just don't get this
This is a highly deliberate film, perhaps meant to evoke thoughts of truly experimental films, about a down-and-out oceanographic huckster seeking some sort of revenge on the shark that ate his friend. The dialogue is forced and awkward, the music is of variable listenability, and the characters are barely relatable. I will give The Life Aquatic an extra point, however, for the sometimes beautiful and unusual cinematography.
The one word I should use to describe this film, after all, is "puzzling." Events haphazardly lead into one another (or don't, occasionally), and important plot points appear, disappear, then reappear. (Was this intentional? Who knows?) In the midst of pondering one dilemma, I would find myself hearing another play out, and my poor brain, which has never itself been immersed in the movie-making world, couldn't keep up.
It seems that The Life Aquatic was created for the sole amusement of its creators. One handicap this movie lacks, however, is predictability. I suggest renting it if you're a weird person; you might enjoy it.
Hotaru no haka (1988)
The most important animated film ever made?
I ordered this movie from Amazon expecting a shameless exploitation of the destruction and death wrought upon a defeated Japan near the end of World War II. What I did not expect, but indeed found, was a shockingly personal story with some grounding in real events, one that focused much less on the wider war being fought (and not at all on the politics behind the war, thankfully) than on the battle of a teenage boy to simply keep his young sister and himself alive.
Consider this the antidote to the typical American war film, particularly those set in the Pacific theater of World War II. This story is one that lays bare the real consequences of war in the modern age. Nobody is spared, not even the youngest children. The film's heavily sobering nature is, however, intermingled with scenes of a happy brother and sister, striving to live their lives together in the face of the worst possible occurrences. This is likely what makes the film all that more difficult to watch; it is beautifully portrayed through its backgrounds, simple musical score and detailed animation, which are alone enough to set this apart from the average anime feature.
I might have been flirting with pacifism before I watched this film, but it certainly pushed me over the cliff; one knows before seeing it that most of the casualties of war are the truly innocent, the civilians in their own homes, but such a fact is much easier to ignore when it's not visible in such a concrete portrayal.
To put it simply, Grave of the Fireflies ought to be shown to every American social studies student, as it strips the glory of war away to reveal the true suffering it brings, not through a callous and gory festival of horrors, but through the love of two siblings for each other in the face of their earthly demise. I can barely make it through this film without crying, any time I watch it. Politics and national enmities have no place here, just pure love.
The Princess and the Frog (2009)
Disney has returned
When I first learned of this film's production in 2006, I was surprised, overjoyed, yet skeptical that hand-drawn animation could successfully be reintroduced to such a disinterested public, still enthralled by the magic of CGI. Lucky for myself and millions of other animation buffs, the art of 2D has returned in full force, and this films succeeds on so many different levels that I just had to write a review.
First and foremost; this film, in its storytelling, art and music, is for the most part genuine. In using this word, I mainly mean to differentiate it from its competition; the animated films of the past decade or so have been so "contemporary" and self-dating, through their added topical humor (see: Shrek, Home on the Range, Over the Hedge, most CGI films) that I find watching them to be a chore. The Princess and the Frog gains much respect from me by avoiding any superfluous references to the present day, and thereby serves well serves the purpose of an animated movie: to make the audience forget about their own dreary lives for 90 minutes by transporting them to a time and place far away from anything they've ever seen, heard or otherwise known.
Speaking of musicals, there's plenty of music in this film, and it's all wonderful. The sheer density of the brilliantly staged and animated musical numbers almost made me dizzy, to the point that I wished for one long, quiet stretch; however, I gave Disney the benefit of the doubt here, as the children of 2009 are probably a bit more wired and less patient than those of, say, 1994 (when I, at age four, took my very first trip to the theater to see The Lion King, an impeccably paced feature), and they still make up the bulk of this picture's audience.
As for the animation: flawlessly expressive and fluid, for the most part, and even an improvement on most of Disney's recent past (save for The Rescuers Down Under, which, like The Princess and the Frog, was produced on new software previously unused for a "canon" Disney feature, and probably served therefore as an experiment in animation techniques). If you've a sharp eye, though, you can find two or three brief "almost completed" shots, where lipsynch is off. In perspective (3 iffy ones out of several thousand), this is certainly forgivable, though something that might not have passed during Ron Clement's earlier days as director. He's still hauling butt, overall, and I'm happy to see such prolific talents as Andreas Deja (Scar) return to form in the animation department.
In regards to Disney's first black princess/heroine? It's about time. I was wondering years ago why Disney had waited until the very end to feature black characters, but it was something I almost never thought about while sitting in the theater, a true marvel given the loaded connotations that are often derived from the "old South," and how easy it is to make certain watchdogs mad. Any ordinary American should be able to watch this film, from start to finish, without much huffing and puffing whatsoever, as every character is treated as more- or-less a functioning human(oid) (save for one particular "Three Stooges" inspired sequence, which was funny nonetheless).
Do go see this movie. If you have children, bring them; this is a great "first movie" experience, and while not necessarily as epic and prolific as The Lion King or Beauty and the Beast, it has earned its place in animation history.
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (2008)
Moved me to tears, against my expectation
I accompanied my mother into this apparently schlocky movie initially against my will. "She needs my company," I thought. Indeed, it opened with a deceptively calm veneer.
In short, however, there is little that warrants rebuke in this production. Violence is applied to the story very sparingly, and then only to illustrate its direction and purpose; there are no date-movie thrills herein. The characters are three-dimensional, though (sometimes bizarrely, given the chosen setting) voiced with the Estuary English of their portrayers, and sometimes less brutal than they might have actually been in 1940s Germany.
The fact that this film was *mildly* toned down is hardly a complaint, as I even found it difficult to watch at moments. During one especially important scene I even shed a few tears, and I'm hardly one to cry over a movie.
This is essentially a story of contrast between the purity of a child's heart and the grime introduced to it by the adult world. It is also a reminder that we who enjoy the freedom to live can never again allow this to happen. *Do not* bring young children to this one; it is more than intense.
Monster a Go-Go (1965)
Incomprehensible.
This is as much a feature-length film as any one of a typical person's camcorder tapes. Plot points are barely explained and randomly interwoven, and several scenes indeed are without purpose (for example, the twist dancing/makeout scene and the similar occurrence with the allegedly Southern trucker). Those scenes which are related to the plot are orders of magnitude lengthier than is prudent, or even psychologically safe for viewers.
Without the smallest shadow of a doubt, this is the worst movie I've ever seen, and that's even with Joel and the robots, who are reduced to weeping, as I was to shouting, after the confused, sudden and appallingly shot ending to this atrocity. Consider, also, that I had to fast-forward at least three times throughout to retain some composure.
The one good thing I saw in this film was the makeup on the "monster." It's very convincing, as though his entire head was forcibly submerged into a deep fryer (which may have been the case). Of course, by claiming there was something good placed into Monster A Go-Go, I am being generous.
I leave with one thought: the men of this film are almost repulsively forward with the one (or two?) female character(s). It makes me wonder how the actress(es) managed to cope, unless she (they) were the sort to enjoy such attention.
The Mother Goose Video Treasury (1987)
The sheer insipid badness of it is hilarious.
My late grandmother used to rent this video from the library for me up until I was around four years old. I loved watching it, and I even loved that giant animatronic goose Bertram.
Recently I ordered a copy of this from Amazon, to dig up some deep-rooted memories. It worked, but I never realized at such a young age how many gaps there were in the production. It never irked me, though, because said gaps were pretty hilarious to look at. For instance, a camera change might have come a couple seconds too quickly, a really cheap (though perhaps acceptable 19 years ago) effect might have been employed, and the puppets--they generally all looked horribly malformed, to put it kindly, and their mouths were opened in questionable sync with their dialogue.
To their credit, though, most of the actors displayed an earnest talent, considering what it was for which they were being paid to perform. Some of them were actually okay dancers.
I get the feeling that the production was too complex for its own good, but that really never even crossed my mind as a child. Heck, I liked the constant set and costume changes; children have short attention spans anyway.
But to anybody over the age of, say, six, this is laughably convoluted and worth a watch just to go MST3K on it.