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Reviews
Russian Doll: Nowhen (2022)
Season 2 is just awful
Season 1 was brilliant.
Season 2 is such a catastrophe.
Boring and at most times Nadia is abrasive and not at all funny.
Who is writing this garbage?
Mixtape (2021)
Too Awful for words
Nobody should force their family, kids, cats or dogs to sit through this heap of a mess.
It's easily one of the top 10 worst movies ever made.
Definitely the worst I've ever seen on Netflix.
The plot is so dumb and orchestrated so poorly that I may have brain damage.
This movie should have been called "My Idiot Grand daughter" and it would have made a lot more sense.
Black Summer (2019)
Boring nonsense
A remake to 28 days later but this sucks....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Hahahahaha
Captain Marvel (2019)
Pretty much garbage on a stick
All the fan boys will go crazy but this was basic sh&t with no script or story you could give a crap about. The first 20 minutes was a bore fest of CGI. Almost walked out but was with other people. It got better but never got good.
Forever (2018)
Watch the first episode then stop
They captured lightning in the first episode. Everything after that was pure garbage.
10,000 BC (2008)
What a piece of Crap
This movie is sooooo bad that I left after 20 minutes. People were actually laughing during serious moments. I took a chance and I want my money back. I went back to my hotel, took a crap, and felt much better. Don't ask me what the connection is.. maybe it's that this movie filled me with such crap I couldn't wait to get it out of my system.
I knew I was in trouble as soon as the movie started.. with a boring narrator, a horrible script, and terrible acting. And all that is before the title was even displayed. It was all I could do to stay awake. The big moment in the first 20 minutes of the film was a chase scene between the Rastafarian cave men and a herd of giant mammoths. Here is where I knew the film was a failure.. NOBODY WAS KILLED. I mean, here's a chance to show how these people would have really lived. If you are chasing (and being chased by) giant mammoths, you'd think somebody might get squashed right?
In short, this movie sucked. On movie phone, the Los Angeles Times gave this movie a 70. A 70??? Sounds like a payoff to me.
Epic Movie (2007)
Walked out after 30 Minutes
This movie was really really bad. Forgive the pun, but it was epically bad. I went to the movie to fill time between some business I was conducting in New York and my flight that was leaving at 7pm.. I had several hours to kill.
There are no good scenes in this movie. I think I laughed at one joke within the first 5 or 10 minutes. The plot (if you could actually say there was one) was so stupid that it borders on the criminal. Anyone (actor, writer, director, or producer) should be jailed for 1 year for participating in the production of this film.
I would provide spoilers for this movie, but that would mean there is something worth spoiling.
I actually felt embarrassed for the actors. I had to leave after 30 minutes. For the first 20 minutes I thought to myself.. "this just can't be.. a movie that looks like it was filmed using one camera in a decorated high school auditorium".. "there's got to be a joke somewhere".. but alas, at the 30th minute, I could no longer justify wasting my life. The movie just never happened.
I want my $11.00 back Hollywood! Stop defrauding the public!!
Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (1980)
Lester Vs. Donner (Bad and "Badder")
Given all the hype I guess I expected more of the Donner cut, but one thing Donner or Lester will never get over is the bad acting. Christopher Reeve either over performs, such as the scene where he screaming for his father, or he falls flat. He is good when he beats up the bully in the Diner.
There are two greats in the movie: Jackie Cooper and Gene Hackman. They steal the show in every scene they appear in.
The Donner cut was a little less campy but I'm disappointed that his cut would include the nonsense on the moon, which simply doesn't play well given the poor special effects. If you can't do it right, then don't do it.
Use of the sound stage in the big city fight scene is as obvious in the Donner cut as the Lester cut. Looks just as tacky and incredible in the bad sense.
The opening scene where Lois discovers Clark is Superman is more powerful than the Lester cut, as well as it is comical. Again, special effect of Lois falling from the building is less than impressive.
What I don't understand, as far as special effects is concerned is how they went backwards from Superman The Movie. In Superman TM, you really did believe Lois was falling from a building and that you were on an actual New York City street. In SII, cheap effects and obvious sound stage took away from the dramatic effect they were shooting for.
Sure, the Donner version is better than the Lester version. However, I have to say neither movie is truly worthy of worship. Did Lester make a bad movie? Yes.. but his baseline was from Donner.
The Departed (2006)
Loose Ends, Unrealistic, Too Long
The movie had a shot at being good and maybe even great, but "The Departed" departs from reality, leaves loose ends, has outrageous plot holes, and is ultimately forgettable, rather than haunting.
Let me outline it for you...
Two kids grow up to be "Staties" (Mass State Troopers). One kid planted there by the mob (Matt Damon), the other kid chooses to be there as a revolt to his family (Leonardo DiCaprio). Both actors gave amazing performances.
DiCaprio fits the image of a wise guy, and an eventual fall out - so he is placed undercover with the Mob (Led by Jack Nicholson -- also incredibly excellent).
Damon (practically raised by Nicholson) as a mole in the state troopers constantly informs Niholson that he is about to be caught, thereby providing him with enough getaway time. DiCaprio of course keeps giving away Nicholson's position. Eventually, Both sides learn there is a mole and both sides ask Damon to figure it out. As such, Damon has a large conflict of interest in trying to find himself, and has no access to the under-covers who have been placed in the mob.
Here's where the movie gets bad, stupid, sloppy, ugly.. whatever you want to call it... Damon starts dating a psychologist working for the police, and DiCaprio starts seeing the same psychologist as a patient. DiCaprio eventually ends up at her doorstep and sleeps with her. She has no apparent moral dilemma with the fact that she is cheating on her cop boyfriend and sleeping with who she thinks is a thug.
Marky Mark -- great performance, and in the end, is completely wasted, and there is no explanation as to why he does what he does at the end of the movie.
To make matters more confusing, Nicholson is also an FBI informant. Huh? This subplot was not needed and made no sense. I don't believe the FBI would have the highest man on the mob food chain on their payroll.
Near the end of the movie, DiCaprio gives the psychologist an envelope and tells her to open it in two weeks or sooner if something happens to him. Well something does happen to him, and guess what? We never find out what is in the envelope. So, why did he give it to her? I just don't know.
More sub-plot -- the psychologist gets pregnant. One might assume she is made pregnant to add conflict as to who's baby it might be. In the meantime, she shows an ultrasound and declares that it is a boy (which by the way, cannot be determined until about 16 weeks. So, why was she made pregnant? I don't know.
As the movie moves along, you begin to think maybe there's a twist with the psychologist -- maybe she's running the show behind the scenes, but instead, we are just left hanging with nothing to take home.
All this being said, the movie is entertaining but it's too long and eventually loses itself in it's continual unfolding subplots that go nowhere.
Barnyard (2006)
This movie stinks with a capital S
Words cannot describe how horrible this movie is. Well, maybe they can. I'll take a stab at it: 1 - Pitiful. Hollywood makes more talking animals set in graphics. Apparently script and storyline aren't needed anymore.
2 - Violent. Kids movie but yet one of the characters is viciously attacked and killed.
3 - Blatantly stupid. The movie is actually depicting the farm animals as having human abilities. In Nemo, the fish could talk, but for the most part, they are still fish. We only hear the English as a translation. In Barnyard, the animals are actually speaking English that other people can understand.
4 - Unintelligent - No smart story line or even any smart humor. (Ok, the 13 year old dog on crutches was funny).
5 - Culturally insensitive - The "black" cow is actually played by a black actress. The pink cow is played by a white actress. The black cow was playing a stereotypical black person.
6 - Ignorant - No such thing as a male cow that I'm aware of. I believe we call them bulls? If we are going to expose our children to drek, it might as well have the simplest facts correct.
7 - Boring and Borish. My 4 year old had us leave after 45 minutes. He practically fell asleep.
I'm sure this movie will make millions, which is unfortunate, because it only proves to Hollywood producers that the American public at large is just filled with suckers waiting to pay 8 bucks just to get some peace and quiet from the kids for an hour or two. An unfortunate circumstance. Why should the producers spend real money when the returns will be the same either way.
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)
How bad is it?
This is how you ruin a franchise folks. Cheap special effects. Aging actors, well past their prime (margot kidder, Christopher reeve). Tired, boorish, comicish plot line. Script: Bad Acting: Worse
What gives Superman the right to destabilize the world economy by removing all of the nuclear missiles?
How is it possible that he has a Kryptonian council conference with the dead elders of Krypton? None of them knew that he went to Earth to begin with.
How does Lex Luthor become a bio-chemist cloning expert?
How do people breathe in space without spacesuits?
Why does Lois Lane dress so poorly?
Special Effects: Superbad This movie gets my maximum DREK Rating of 100% Drek.
A giant net in space capturing nuclear missiles? Need I say more?
Superman, Supersucks!
Superman II (1980)
Superman II, the worst movie ever made
When I was a kid, I remember Superman II to be the most exciting film ever made. I loved it when he loses his powers and gets them back. Now, I'm 36. Got a kid (4 years old) who loves to watch it. So, now I've seen this Drek 150 times in a month. I cannot believe how bad this movie is on so many levels.
Special Effects: Horrible. You can see green screen halos in every flight sequence.
Villains - Silly and stupid.
Set -- clearly a sound stage. Superman I at least had the feeling it was filmed in a live city. SII looks like it was filmed in my basement.
Overall Plot - Stupid. Superman would never give up his powers for Lois Lane. Ain't gonna happen. She's a $20 hooker in this movie, a smoker, looks and dresses horribly. What would Superman possibly see in "this" Lois Lane. She should be the sweet lovable girl next door.. one that we could all fall in love with. Margot Kidder is a joke.
The only thing worse than superman II is superman III and superman IV. I feel terrible for Christopher Reeve, but he aided and abetted the destruction of a great franchise.