Doesn't contain any spoilers because there really isn't any plot I could possibly spoil! Well, what can I say? This has to be one of the worst, if not THE worst movie I have seen in my entire life, and I happen to go to the cinema a lot. It was one of those rare experiences when I actually wished I had a better cell phone in order to be able to distract myself from the total disaster that was happening on the (unfortunately way too big to ignore) screen (any game would have been better than that sorry excuse for a movie...barbie's dress contest, how to spell for 6 year olds...bring it on!). Alright, you're probably wondering what this film (and I'm using this word very loosely here) is about. Well, to be totally frank with you, that's a pretty damn good question. Let's see, uhm, there's this girl named Dina who hasn't got anything better to do than repeatedly utter the words "I am Dina" every 10 minutes or so in order to distract you from the very fact that there really is no plot at all except for the pretty dumb story of a 6 year old that accidently kills her mother and isn't able to cope with that incident. The following 100 minutes (which actually seem like half a century) are stretched to the very max with inane dialogue, boring talk about how men are the worst thing that ever happened to our precious mother earth and bear the weight of every single mistake known to mankind on their shoulders, sex scenes that wouldn't be half as bad if that actress playing Dina wouldn't be so incredibly ugly and scenes that show Dina herself getting away with one murder after another because she's been hit by her father once when she was young...(Hello? She killed her mother for god's sake...I for one would have made sure she never disgraced the face of this planet again) and therefore had a difficult childhood (you gotta admit that really is a justified reason for manslaughter...yeah right!). Other than that there is no concept behind "I Am Dina" whatsoever. Please, do yourself a favor and avoid this movie at all costs. No really, don't go see it, you'll only encourage them! Think about it this way: Would you pay someone for continuously bashing your skull against a steel plated wall, strapping you to a wheel and subsequently breaking all your bones, one after another? Me neither...and all of this doesn't even come close to the painful experience that is watching I Am Dina!
Reviews
7 Reviews
Interstate 60
(2002)
Awesome
23 February 2003
Ok, this has to be one of the best movies I've ever seen in my entire life. I don't usually make euphoric comments when it comes to movies because most of the time the euphoria wears off 10 minutes after the movie's over but I was literally blown away by this film. It has everything one could possibly want: A clever yet amazingly funny and compelling storyline, great 3 dimensional characters and an end that doesn't let you stand in the rain like unfortunately many other movies do nowadays.
So well, what could I possibly say except go see it if you got the chance. You won't regret it!
So well, what could I possibly say except go see it if you got the chance. You won't regret it!
Crossroads
(I) (2002)
100% Britney...just as you might expect.
16 August 2002
Ok, let's face it guys: Britney Spears can't sing. Even though most girls don't seem to notice it's still a fact. Now she's started something she's equally terrible at: Acting. Damn, this movie is bad. Not "it could have been better" bad but "I've never seen a movie as horrible and with worse actresses as this one" bad. Plus it's got plot holes as big as America. As a matter of fact I'm currently trying to sue the cinema I went to for the 5 $ I spend on the movie. But oh well, I guess I have to pay for the sheer stupidity of having considered watching this flick.
I'm sorry I didn't comment on the plot itself that much but to be completely honest I can't recall a single thing connected with the story behind Crossroads. But there's a psychological explanation for that sort of stuff. I think it's called post-traumatic suppression or something.... Please avoid this movie at any cost...you're jeopardizing your sanity :\
I'm sorry I didn't comment on the plot itself that much but to be completely honest I can't recall a single thing connected with the story behind Crossroads. But there's a psychological explanation for that sort of stuff. I think it's called post-traumatic suppression or something.... Please avoid this movie at any cost...you're jeopardizing your sanity :\
Pootie Tang
(2001)
Oh my god...it is full of stars...I mean there's...let's see...Chris Rock...wow!
16 August 2002
Ok there are three reasons why I didn't like this movie at all.
One: English isn't my mother tongue so I guess I couldn't possibly get the humor connected with the way Pootie "talks" (I assume he's trying to express something although I couldn't understand a single word he was saying). Zada Tee...HAHAHA Damn that's funny...on second thought though...uhm what the heck does that mean and is this sort of stuff supposed to make me laugh? Well, at least as for me it didn't...not one tiny bit.
Two: I'm not into rap or hip hop or any of the "values" connected with that sort of noise ;) Unfortunately as the movie is solely based on black music I couldn't identify with any of the protagonists, not at all. Plus the jokes are so lame you can hardly take it without having to go to the bathroom at least twice an hour (breaks are needed in order to cope with the idea of having to sit through another bunch of painful not even remotely funny pranks).
Three and most important of all: POOTIE TANG SUCKS...HARD. To be completely honest that's the only thing that came to my mind while watching this utter c**p. If you even consider watching Pootie Tang please do yourself a favor and bang your head against a concrete wall until you've knocked yourself unconcious. That way you've tortured yourself equally merciless...for free.
Thanks for your time...
One: English isn't my mother tongue so I guess I couldn't possibly get the humor connected with the way Pootie "talks" (I assume he's trying to express something although I couldn't understand a single word he was saying). Zada Tee...HAHAHA Damn that's funny...on second thought though...uhm what the heck does that mean and is this sort of stuff supposed to make me laugh? Well, at least as for me it didn't...not one tiny bit.
Two: I'm not into rap or hip hop or any of the "values" connected with that sort of noise ;) Unfortunately as the movie is solely based on black music I couldn't identify with any of the protagonists, not at all. Plus the jokes are so lame you can hardly take it without having to go to the bathroom at least twice an hour (breaks are needed in order to cope with the idea of having to sit through another bunch of painful not even remotely funny pranks).
Three and most important of all: POOTIE TANG SUCKS...HARD. To be completely honest that's the only thing that came to my mind while watching this utter c**p. If you even consider watching Pootie Tang please do yourself a favor and bang your head against a concrete wall until you've knocked yourself unconcious. That way you've tortured yourself equally merciless...for free.
Thanks for your time...
Clockstoppers
(2002)
Hey man, I just noticed a plot hole. Cool man...me, too.
16 August 2002
What a nice little movie. I gotta admit that I enjoyed watching Clockstoppers even though I'm 19 years old and this movie clearly is aimed at a younger audience. The whole idea behind the concept of Clockstoppers might be kinda dumb and for some situations it doesn't work at all (e.g. the disco scene which even if you take the idea of people moving a thousand times faster than everyone else for granted is entirely impossible. Watch the movie, you'll know what I mean) but it sure is fun to watch if you can check your logical thinking at the door.
The only thing that really bothered me was the never ending rant about ebay. Damn, I don't even want to know how big a sum they had to spend in order to get mentioned that often in the progress of the movie. C'mon guys please give me a break. But oh well kids are said to be easy to manipulate so I guess the commercials just *had* to be put in between somewhere.
As for me I would watch Clockstoppers again even though it's highly flawed and contains plot holes bigger than America.
The only thing that really bothered me was the never ending rant about ebay. Damn, I don't even want to know how big a sum they had to spend in order to get mentioned that often in the progress of the movie. C'mon guys please give me a break. But oh well kids are said to be easy to manipulate so I guess the commercials just *had* to be put in between somewhere.
As for me I would watch Clockstoppers again even though it's highly flawed and contains plot holes bigger than America.
Crush
(I) (2001)
Avoid at any cost!!! Plz!
5 August 2002
Ok, this has to be the worst movie I've ever had to sit through in my entire life. The plot is non existent and could be summarized on a stamp (a small one, font size 9 or 10). I bet the script was written by at least 5 directors because one alone can't possibly create a mess as unrealistic and stupid as this one. Plus the movie isn't funny at all. I mean c'mon guys...if this is meant to be a comedy plz tell me why noone in the entire cinema felt the urge to laugh or even giggle...not a single person (except for a few mock laughs in between). Maybe an audience of 18 to 45 year old people isn't the audience this movie is aiming at, I don't know. Oh and an extra note for the girls...if you're looking for romance (candle light dinner,...) you're looking in the wrong place. There's nothing even remotely romantic about this film :\
Save your precious money, don't spend it on a stinker like this one. ... don't say I didn't warn you. This movie isn't bad...it's worse.
Save your precious money, don't spend it on a stinker like this one. ... don't say I didn't warn you. This movie isn't bad...it's worse.
We Were Soldiers
(2002)
We Were American Heros, We Were Winners
3 August 2002
I didn't like We Were Soldiers that much. The American patriotism shines through almost everywhere. Now patriotism isn't necessarily a bad thing but in this case it's very misplaced. The movie doesn't show the course of events in the proper way. As a matter of fact it appears as if America did indeed win the Vietnam War. Ok there are some small hints of failure at the end of We Were Soldiers but they are hidden between the lines and one could get the impression the purpose of the movie is to bring the so called heros of Vietnam War to late fame. C'mon guys...is that really necessary? If you want to praise your soldiers go ahead but a movie that's shown in theaters is hardly the right way to do so.
Avoid if you're not American...this movie feels like a punch in the face of good taste.
Avoid if you're not American...this movie feels like a punch in the face of good taste.
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