I guess this movie will only work on people who were all turned off by the giant hype of Lord of the Rings. Well, so I was. And so I really love this movie. Especially I like all those flawless superheroes from LotR being so perfectly and disrespectfully parodied. Most brilliantly is the counterpart of Gandalf (the brave and wise and completely humorless know-it-all wizard): Almghandi, the cowardice and brain dead transvestite. Sauron's counterpart ("Sauraus" from East Germany, of course) is wearing a simply bucket with eye holes as a helmet. Aragorns alter ego is yet another accident prone idiot who tries to fix his broken sword ("Ulrike" the legend) with scotch tape. And "Strunzdumm" (the counterpart of Wormtong) indeed has some strong resemblance with Brad Dourif! And don't forget Grmpfli and Heidi... huh-huh
Reviews
22 Reviews
Raiders of the Lost Sense
7 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
This sequel is just disappointing. It starts with the great Vincent "Dobermann" Cassel not being in the second part anymore, but he wouldn't save that stupid story anyway. There are many interesting ideas, but when it comes to tie them all together, the end is mostly stolen from "Raiders of the Lost Arch". But there's even more fun in that flick: Nazi monks on 60 year old steroids, which make them invulnerable to bullets... Gimme a break! I wonder if Besson will ever learn that world war 2 is over (remember those evil German villains in "Taxi"?). Part 1 was far better, the story, and especially the appearance of Vincent Cassel. I really wonder how Besson/Reno can make masterpieces like "Leon" on the one hand, and junk like that movie on the other hand.
Najica: Blitz Tactics
(2001– )
Nice action with much Fan Serivce
26 December 2004
Najica Blitz Tatics is funny mix of an action Anime, a good story and pure Fan Service. The Fan Service (namely masses of panty shots) might offend some people, but nevertheless, Najica is well entertaining.
Najica Hiragi is a secret service agent who gets involved in finding "Humarits", artificial made humans. She partners up with Lila, who's a Humarit herself, and who has to learn her life from Najica. Although one wouldn't expect to find a Blade Runner like story among all those panty shots, there're really is quite a meaning in the relationship between humans and Humarits.
Concentrating on fast paced action scenes, beautiful girl with guns and the relationship between Najica and Lila, Najica Bitz Tactics features quite a deeper sense than Aika, it's predecessor.
Najica Hiragi is a secret service agent who gets involved in finding "Humarits", artificial made humans. She partners up with Lila, who's a Humarit herself, and who has to learn her life from Najica. Although one wouldn't expect to find a Blade Runner like story among all those panty shots, there're really is quite a meaning in the relationship between humans and Humarits.
Concentrating on fast paced action scenes, beautiful girl with guns and the relationship between Najica and Lila, Najica Bitz Tactics features quite a deeper sense than Aika, it's predecessor.
Brain Dead
(1990)
Pure Madness and Insanity
1 November 2004
Warning: Spoilers
The advantage of making a movie about madness is that you can sell almost ANYTHING as long as it's all confusing. From this point of view, Brain Dead is brilliant. However, if you expect to find a solution in the end, you will be disappointed.
My interpretation of Brain Dead is that you can never tell what is reality and what is imagination of the main character (Bill Pullman). I even doubt that the brain surgeon story at the beginning is real. During the movie we learn that you can never tell who Pullmans character really is - Rex Martin, Dr. Halsey, who ever? Is he really a brain surgeon, or is that his own imagination, too? Or is he himself the mad-gone maths employee? Or is he just an insane patient suffering fear of somebody messing with his mind?
I think that the brain surgeon story is a very clever move to confuse the audience, because it seems to be the clue for what is going on, but at the end, it isn't. It reminds me of the psycho-drug story in Jacobs Ladder, which isn't real, either.
However, I'd have liked to see a clever explanation for all that weird stuff at the end.
My interpretation of Brain Dead is that you can never tell what is reality and what is imagination of the main character (Bill Pullman). I even doubt that the brain surgeon story at the beginning is real. During the movie we learn that you can never tell who Pullmans character really is - Rex Martin, Dr. Halsey, who ever? Is he really a brain surgeon, or is that his own imagination, too? Or is he himself the mad-gone maths employee? Or is he just an insane patient suffering fear of somebody messing with his mind?
I think that the brain surgeon story is a very clever move to confuse the audience, because it seems to be the clue for what is going on, but at the end, it isn't. It reminds me of the psycho-drug story in Jacobs Ladder, which isn't real, either.
However, I'd have liked to see a clever explanation for all that weird stuff at the end.
Agent Aika
(1997–1999)
My favourite Anime
9 April 2004
Whenever people are talking about Aika, the first things I get to hear are complains about panty shots, wannabe porn, wannabe hentai etc. Well, I guess for the vast majority of viewers, Aika is indeed nothing more than this.
However, a few will like the show, but for others things: The story is absurd, but funny and fast paced (I emphasize this because all the other Animes I've been watching so far seemed quite boring after some time). The characters are rather likable, except for Hagen and his sister, nobody is completely unappealing. There's a lot of violence in the show, but almost nobody gets killed and even seriously hurt (I really appreciate this in a action movie). Most of the characters are rather beautyful and some even admirable.
But the main reason for me to love Aika is the fact, that some of the characters even develop some deeper kind of identity. I mean, it is obvious that the creators didn't intend to make more than a simple action flick with only two dimensional characters. But nevertheless some of the characters seem to grow when the show is going on, and some of them I really learned to love (especially the White Delmo couple and the Golden Delmos).
In my opinion, the second series ("New mission", trial 5 to 7) is far better than the first, because it's less harsh but more entertaining (with these terrible Hagen and Nena being replaced by the much more appealing Miss Bianca and her crew).
Whether you enjoy the show or not, it's quite a matter of taste. However, there's more than just panties in it.
However, a few will like the show, but for others things: The story is absurd, but funny and fast paced (I emphasize this because all the other Animes I've been watching so far seemed quite boring after some time). The characters are rather likable, except for Hagen and his sister, nobody is completely unappealing. There's a lot of violence in the show, but almost nobody gets killed and even seriously hurt (I really appreciate this in a action movie). Most of the characters are rather beautyful and some even admirable.
But the main reason for me to love Aika is the fact, that some of the characters even develop some deeper kind of identity. I mean, it is obvious that the creators didn't intend to make more than a simple action flick with only two dimensional characters. But nevertheless some of the characters seem to grow when the show is going on, and some of them I really learned to love (especially the White Delmo couple and the Golden Delmos).
In my opinion, the second series ("New mission", trial 5 to 7) is far better than the first, because it's less harsh but more entertaining (with these terrible Hagen and Nena being replaced by the much more appealing Miss Bianca and her crew).
Whether you enjoy the show or not, it's quite a matter of taste. However, there's more than just panties in it.
Dem Zuschauer standen die Haare zu Berge
30 March 2004
After I had heard so much about that movie, I got me copy and watched it all through. I remember that I asked myself: "Did I miss the point? Is this supposed to be funny?" I didn't get that movie at all. However something drove me to watch the movie another 50 times and finally I think it's one of the funniest movies I ever seen. And I still have no idea why. Just phenomenal!
Double Team
(1997)
Funny and highly enjoyable
11 January 2004
Warning: Spoilers
(Contains minor spoilers)
In contrast to the many negative reviews, I really enjoyed this movie very much. You mustn't take it serious, that's the point.
There are so many scenes which are so incredible ridiculous that it makes a good movie again: Rodman throwing bad guys around like they were basketballs, the Colloseum exploding (!) and the Coke Machines flying around, that knife toe guy... fantastic.
Mickey Rourke is great - he only knows to play one kind of man: a brute ashtray macho villian, but he's a real expert in that.
Even Van Damme is good: his first film without having him suffering all the time (I used to think, he is some kind of "anti-hero" because he is allways suffering so much in his movies).
The directing and camera work is really amazing, the plot is ridiculous, but the Action is highly enjoyable.
In contrast to the many negative reviews, I really enjoyed this movie very much. You mustn't take it serious, that's the point.
There are so many scenes which are so incredible ridiculous that it makes a good movie again: Rodman throwing bad guys around like they were basketballs, the Colloseum exploding (!) and the Coke Machines flying around, that knife toe guy... fantastic.
Mickey Rourke is great - he only knows to play one kind of man: a brute ashtray macho villian, but he's a real expert in that.
Even Van Damme is good: his first film without having him suffering all the time (I used to think, he is some kind of "anti-hero" because he is allways suffering so much in his movies).
The directing and camera work is really amazing, the plot is ridiculous, but the Action is highly enjoyable.
The King of the Kickboxers
(1990)
I love it
7 December 2003
I can't explain it, but I love this movie. What gives that movie the edge is the performance of Keith Cooke and Billy Blanks. Loren Avedon cannot keep up with them although he plays the main character (who is quite arrogant in my opinion). The film features decent fights with moody music, all overacted and unrealistic but highly entertaining. When Jake, still in the US, watches that movies and complains about their low quality, its "No retreat, no surrender 3" (starring Loren Avedon, too) and one might find a small piece of self-irony, too.
No Retreat, No Surrender 2
(1987)
One of the worst movies ever
7 December 2003
Some American kid travels to Asia, finds a camp full of Russians and kicks their asses without getting a single scar. Why do the USA still have an Army when they've kids like this one? Did the USSR break down because of that kid? Gimme a break!
No Retreat, No Surrender
(1985)
Possibly Van Dammes best movie
7 December 2003
This movie might by nothing more than yet another baaaad Karate Kid copy if it wasn't for Van Dammes appearence. In my opinion its van Dammes best movie, because he doesn't have the lead role and doesn't need to "act".
However, his fighting performance and his physical shape is quite impressive. What kills the movie is the fact that McKinney cannot keep up with van Damme, so when McKinney enters the ring, van Damme suddenly looses all of his fighting skills to let McKinney win. Not really worth watching for anyone but van Damme fans.
However, his fighting performance and his physical shape is quite impressive. What kills the movie is the fact that McKinney cannot keep up with van Damme, so when McKinney enters the ring, van Damme suddenly looses all of his fighting skills to let McKinney win. Not really worth watching for anyone but van Damme fans.
In the Mouth of Madness
(1994)
Some potential wasted
22 June 2003
There's one thing I really don't understand with John Carpenter's movies: why does he always shows some (more or less ridiculous) monsters which steal all of the horror? Doesn't he trust us to work them out in our own phantasy?
This also kills that movie, unfortunately. In the Mouth of Madness is kind of a good horror movie with some great moments of thrill (and Juergen Prochnow is great as Sutter Kane), but it wastes it's full potential by showing all those slime creatures. I think that the audiences phantasy had done a much better job. But that's the same with "The Thing".
Nevertheless I enjoyed it though. Good idea, good movie, but I had made it differently.
This also kills that movie, unfortunately. In the Mouth of Madness is kind of a good horror movie with some great moments of thrill (and Juergen Prochnow is great as Sutter Kane), but it wastes it's full potential by showing all those slime creatures. I think that the audiences phantasy had done a much better job. But that's the same with "The Thing".
Nevertheless I enjoyed it though. Good idea, good movie, but I had made it differently.
Enter the Dragon
(1973)
Best Martial Arts movie ever
22 June 2003
In my opinion, Enter the Dragon is the best martial arts movie ever made. And so it's also Bruce Lee's best movie. Many say the "The Way of the Dragon" is better, but I simply cannot understand that.
The story is simple, but straight forward, like some early James Bond movies. I really appreciate that! Many MA movies try to boost up their story with confusing turns, but that never works out (and I've seen quite a lot of these movies). Enter the Dragon doesn't do that.
Bruce Lees performance is outstanding. No tricks, no special effects, no men on wires, no computer animations - just pure martial arts. His speed is unbelievable, but true.
Of course, modern movies by Jackie Chan or Jet Li feature far more extraordinary action, stunts and breathtaking fights. But that's not the same. Those movies are too overemphasized to match the purity of Enter the Dragon.
Even if you feel that Enter the Dragon is an imperfect movie, you can at least feel the potential that Bruce Lee had. I wonder what great movies he might have made if he hadn't died so young.
The story is simple, but straight forward, like some early James Bond movies. I really appreciate that! Many MA movies try to boost up their story with confusing turns, but that never works out (and I've seen quite a lot of these movies). Enter the Dragon doesn't do that.
Bruce Lees performance is outstanding. No tricks, no special effects, no men on wires, no computer animations - just pure martial arts. His speed is unbelievable, but true.
Of course, modern movies by Jackie Chan or Jet Li feature far more extraordinary action, stunts and breathtaking fights. But that's not the same. Those movies are too overemphasized to match the purity of Enter the Dragon.
Even if you feel that Enter the Dragon is an imperfect movie, you can at least feel the potential that Bruce Lee had. I wonder what great movies he might have made if he hadn't died so young.
The Way of the Dragon
(1972)
Lees worst, but Norris' best
22 June 2003
As far as I know Bruce Lee said about this movie that it was his best. Sorry, I just can't understand that. Except for the fights, it is Bruce Lees worst movie, in my opinion. I think he tried to focus on acting rather than fighting, but he failed. It doesn't even come close to Enter the Dragon.
Nevertheless I think that it is Chuck Norris' best movie. I haven't seen "Code of Silence" yet which has quite a good reputation, but from every other Norris movie I've seen so far (I've seen quite many), his performance in Way of the Dragon is the best by far (and his 70th style appearance too). The fights are really worth watching (Bruce Lee Quality), but the rest of the movie is only for the hardcore fan.
Nevertheless I think that it is Chuck Norris' best movie. I haven't seen "Code of Silence" yet which has quite a good reputation, but from every other Norris movie I've seen so far (I've seen quite many), his performance in Way of the Dragon is the best by far (and his 70th style appearance too). The fights are really worth watching (Bruce Lee Quality), but the rest of the movie is only for the hardcore fan.
Brotherhood of the Wolf
(2001)
Don't take it too serious
21 June 2003
I wonder that so many people take this movie so serious. Common, it's not a historical lesson, it's just entertainment, isn't it?! Although it has some historical background the movie is still some kind of fairy tale.
The movie itself was very pleasant to me. I was really caught in the atmosphere. The martial arts scenes were kind of misplaced in my opinion, especially because everyone seemed to be a hidden Karate black belt. But I don't mind, it added a special spice to the movie. I like it.
The movie itself was very pleasant to me. I was really caught in the atmosphere. The martial arts scenes were kind of misplaced in my opinion, especially because everyone seemed to be a hidden Karate black belt. But I don't mind, it added a special spice to the movie. I like it.
Lost Highway
(1997)
Just experience it
16 June 2003
Since I knew that this is a David Lynch movie, I didn't try to understand it at all. I just laid back and experienced it. I didn't even made up a theory. I just let the pictures work on me. And they did. Although Lynch movies are not my cup of tea, I liked it somehow. Especially the scene when Fred talks into the intercom at the end. I can't explain why, but that kind of "solved" the movie to me... What I didn't like was the use of "Rammstein" music. I guess most of you won't mind, but to me (as a German) they killed the atmosphere with their stupid lyrics.
The Lift
(1983)
Simple but incredible
26 May 2003
I really love this movie. No big budget, no special effects, no Hollywood crap, just pure thrill. Some will mind the flaws, some will find it ridiculous, but I don't care at all. The idea is unique and the film is full of details.
It is very impressive how Dick Maas creates such a suspense with such a little budget. He lets your own phantasy and fears do the job. And they do very well, at least for me. If you like strange stuff like "Death Machine" this movie is well worth checking out.
It is very impressive how Dick Maas creates such a suspense with such a little budget. He lets your own phantasy and fears do the job. And they do very well, at least for me. If you like strange stuff like "Death Machine" this movie is well worth checking out.
2001: A Space Odyssey
(1968)
The proof for extraterrestrial intelligence
20 March 2003
2001 is the proof that there is extraterrestrial intelligence. Because human brains are far too small to understand that movie. At least mine is.
I've been watching this movie several times and it really has it's moments. But I can't help myself, I just don't get the point. What it going on? What the hell is the point about that black stone? I've never been on LSD, maybe that would help to understand it.
I've been watching this movie several times and it really has it's moments. But I can't help myself, I just don't get the point. What it going on? What the hell is the point about that black stone? I've never been on LSD, maybe that would help to understand it.
Erkan & Stefan
(2000)
Cool plot
20 February 2003
I didn't expect much of this movie. I don't like that turkish-german slang because it's so worn out by now. However I was blown away by the cool story. This movie combines very well made secret service movie scenes with Erkan & Stefan. Bully is a professional, no doubt. But the best thing is the plot: the conspirancy of the president of the US and Uwe Barschel. ROTFL!
Plan 9 from Outer Space
(1957)
ROTFL
30 January 2003
Okay, I had been warned. And I do have to admit that most of this movie is just boring. But I was rolling on the floor when I saw scenes like Vampira walking over the grave yard, or Tor Johnson arising from his tomb. I can't help myself, when I watched those extremly ridiculous cuts between footage of Bela Lugosi and scenes with his double I just couldn't take it not more. I wonder how senseless a movie can get. Helge Schneider would love this movie.
Plan 9 from outta space is indeed one of the funniest movies that I've scene for a while. Watch it when you're in the right mood and skip the boring parts.
Plan 9 from outta space is indeed one of the funniest movies that I've scene for a while. Watch it when you're in the right mood and skip the boring parts.
Arlington Road
(1999)
Nevertheless thrilling
19 January 2003
Warning: Spoilers
Contains SPOILERS
As many other people said before, the movie is kind of unrealistic. No doubt about it. Nevertheless the movie is thrilling and packed with suspense. The idea of how Oliver Lang is manipulating his innocent victims to work out his evil plans is just frightening (whether it's realistic or not). Give it a chance. It's refreshingly different to the mainstream.
As many other people said before, the movie is kind of unrealistic. No doubt about it. Nevertheless the movie is thrilling and packed with suspense. The idea of how Oliver Lang is manipulating his innocent victims to work out his evil plans is just frightening (whether it's realistic or not). Give it a chance. It's refreshingly different to the mainstream.
Gone in 60 Seconds
(2000)
Rather disappointing
17 October 2002
When I watched the trailer of Gone in Sixty Seconds on TV I was quite looking forward to see this movie. However, after I did, I was very disappointed. I had expected a kind of "Bullit 2000". I can't help myself, but there are far too few cars scenes in this movie, and the big chase at the end wasn't as exciting as it had looked like in the trailer. It seems to me like they have forgotten how to put suspence into movies nowadays... not to talk about a story...
Godzilla
(I) (1998)
The real Godzilla should have visited 'em on the set
17 October 2002
Being a fan of the old school Godzilla, this movie is a pure offence to me. They threw away all the magic of the good old monster. They threw away the chance to tribute to a legend. The sacrificed it all for a big hype and some special effects. I hope that one day the Real Godzilla will wake up somewhere in the Pacific Ocean and he will track down Roland Emmerich to tell him about his movie...
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