Capt_comicbook Reviews

Paycheck (2003)

When will the Doves Cry?

[2/10 · 21 May 2004]

I used to THINK that John Woo was a terrible director. A director who fills the boring spaces between over the top action scenes, with poor acting and

laughable dialogue. Now..... I KNOW that he sucks.... Maybe 2 horrid movies in a row will end the torture that is John Woos career as a director.... (Windtalkers)

Here are a couple of things that make know sense in this movie.... 1. He never establishes that futuristic cigarettes dont make smoke.... (how they would explain that I have no idea....) 2. The ONLY item he sends him self that is remotely clever is the crossword

puzzle. 3. How did Uma and Ben ride around on Motercylcles?.... They clearly stated that he could not leave the complex. 4. Is it not pathetic that Woo has tried to give him self a signature shot? The White Dove In Slow Motion (WDISM) wasn't cool the first time he used it in Hong Kong.

In MY opinion, John Woo has never made a good movie. He has made 1 or 2

OK movies... He should become a stunt director instead......

Deceiver (1997)

Kept me guessing

[7/10 · 4 September 2003]

7 out of 10.

A great Rental movie. This thriller had me guessing all the way up to the end. I waffled back and forth from disliking characters to liking them.

Roth is again great as a nuerotic over priveleged epeleptic. He is by no means a physically imposing man, but in some of the scenes, you get a real sense that this guy is dangerous.

I also like any casting of Penn as the laughable but sincere looser.

This movie is one of those rare pick-ups at Blockbuster..... never commercially touted, but seeing the actors on the box makes ya pick it up.... You get it home and wow.... its a great movie.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Best 2nd part to a trilogy ever

[9/10 · 28 August 2003]

9 out of 10 (Like its predecesor, LOTRTT gets a little windy in places)

Discounting the StarWars trilogy (forever tarnished by the crap that Lucas is making now), this film is the BEST 2nd installment of a trilogy I have ever seen. It really makes me believe that filming all 3 at once was indeed the only way to do this trilogy.

Jackson takes some liberties, but all in all the film is a success on several levels. Characters are maintained and strengthened, The plotting does well not to be too dreadful without inserting lightheartedness or breathtaking action, and the special effects absolutely blew me out of the water.

To all the Star Wars fans out there, take a look at Gollum, and see Yoda could only hope to be. Gollum is so life like and well portrayed.

All in all a great movie, albiet with some minor flaws,... very minor.

Chicago (2002)

Very entertaining

[7/10 · 25 August 2003]

I gave this film a 7 out of 10. It probably would have scored higher, but I dont particularly like musicals.

This film however, folded the musical numbers into the story in a compelling

way... and it didn't hurt that the dancers were all very easy on the eyes.

Overall the story is an old one, but with these actors, and thier musical numbers it get a fresh breath of air. Zellweger is great as the pampered prisoner, and Zeta-Jones is back to her sexy self. Its my oppinion that any number f actors could have turned in Gere's role, but he gets the job done.

All in all, this is a beautiful film, told in an interesting way, with great

performances.... Even if you dont like musicals, you might still like this one.... I dont.... and I did.

Bowling for Columbine (2002)

Overall message

[9/10 · 20 August 2003]

9 out of 10

I have done my homework, watched the film, and read so much counterpoint.

Let me first say that I admire Mr Moore.... not for his honesty, but for his courage to make a stand on an issue. A lot of the sites and publications that attack Moore do so by pointing out, word for word, his falsehoods. I say look at the bigger picture....

So what if Moore slants the facts to one side.... isnt it apparant that he has to? Mr Moore isnt the first person to utter "if it bleeds it leads" Watch this film if you want to see another approach to a problem that the majority of Americans wont allow themselves to believe in. Yes there is a definate bias to the documentary, but if you get to the heart of what is being said, you realize that maybe we do have a problem with one of our basic rights, maybe being no. 1 isn't so good for America in this catagory.

Cradle 2 the Grave (2003)

typical

[4/10 · 15 August 2003]

4 out of 10

What can you say, except typical. This film has no real shinning moments. Jet enters the story in the begining, already destroying the suspension of

Disbelief..... dropping floor by floor...

After that it gets very cliche, and you find yourself waiting for the next Kung Fu exhibition...

Tom Arnold is mildly ammusing, and the rest of the cast doesn't suck, but

nothing special really ever happens.

Irreversible (2002)

Full of primal emotions

[7/10 · 15 August 2003]

7 out of 10.

Artful cinema or shocking trash.... this film is hard to watch and will leave its mark on you for quite a while. In my opinion, the film is very artistic in its approach to showing the gambit of emotions and reactions the characters experience before and after a violent sex crime. Unfortunately this film is probably a realistic portrayal of a crime that happens with far to much frequency in the world. Yes, the night club scene is brutal, and yes the rape scene is loathsome.... but what I think really bothers people is that they have to think about them and

validate them, because they havn't seen what motivated the situation yet. This is what the director was going for, I think.

If the film was instead shown front to back, instead of in reverse like Memento, I think I would have empathized with Marcus, and revealed in the beating at the nightclub.... never really stopping to acknowledge that, it was as brutal a crime.

I also liked the cinematography....to a point.... After a while I started to feel ill, yet another real emotion that the directory pulled out of me. It does get a little bit old however.

As a closing comment to the people that will watch this film:

Great films are always great because the create an emotional reaction with in the audience... usually the 'Greats' bring out happiness or love, or and end to loneliness..... This film does the same, only it concentrates on negative

emotions.... Fear, hate, loathing, repulsion.... Everyone tries to hide these emotions.... just dont hide the fact that this film made you 'feel'

Dracula II: Ascension (2003 Video)

Complete Crap

[1/10 · 13 August 2003]

1 out of 10.

This is the kind of movie that you cant believe you just wasted 2 hours of your life as you see the credits role. I honestly think I could make a better Vampire movie.... and I know nothing. The only thing that does not just suck (harder than a Vampire) is Jason Scott Lee.... his character is at least a little bit cool, has some mystery, and kicks a little butt.

Bringing Down the House (2003)

Not that funny or coherent

[4/10 · 13 August 2003]

4 out of 10.

This film was neither funny as a whole nor was it even worthing investing any kind of emotion into the characters. Eugene Levy is probably the most funny.... The rest of the cast do their jobs, but the story never really gets very deep and there are a lot of holes in the plot that never get filled. This just wasn't very much fun, despite being funny at times.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - The Cradle of Life (2003)

I'm surprised ANYONE liked this film

[2/10 · 31 July 2003]

Let me say, that I was shocked to see comments on this site that included words like "awesome" and "action-packed" and "I loved it..."

This was quite possibly the single worst example of screenwriting, and directing I have EVER seen. This film was so full of holes I find it hard to believe that even "dim-wits" could suspend thier disbelief. Here are a couple of the MAJOR plot problems Possible Spoilers

1. After loosing the orb and her Greek friends, we see Croft beating at her butler: saying that they must search all of greek history for every mention of an orb.... then she goes on a horsey ride, comes back, gets mad at some very un- impresive looking MI-5 agents and describes in great detail what the orb is.

2. Who in thier right mind would try to land a helicopter in a Chinese courtyard surrounded by power-lines and wires?

3. At the Honk Kong mall disease factory, Laura and the villains are have a prolonged gun fight and to escape, she jumps through a window.... It is then that the people in the mall run for thier lives.

4. When did her boy friend call in the jump packs? These are just a few things, and I might be wrong about them.... I was getting sleepy due to boredom.

Honestly, I like Jolie. For the first time she looks like a full fledged woman in this film, but hopefully some one who knows more about compelling movies gets to direct the next installment.

Only watch this movie if you have a free rental, and there isn't anything better than 'From Justin to Kelly'

Malena (2000)

There is hope for cinema

[10/10 · 28 July 2003]

I gave this film a 10. I bacame a Bellucci fan after Brotherhood of the Wolf; and thank God I did. That lead directly to seeing this film. Even though it is easy to watch because of Miss Bellucci, I fell in love with the story. Giuseppe Tornatore masterfully directs his take on Italy and its part in WW2 history, and disguises it as a comming of age film. The visuals are very nice, and the music is so well done that I didn't notice it the first time through (It becomes so much a part of the mood). Sulfaro is so convincing as the lead that as an American, I am jealous of the Europeans that will get to watch him evolve into a star.

If you are male and had any kind of normal puberty... this film will strike a cord.

Shanghai Knights (2003)

You should know what to expect

[9/10 · 24 July 2003]

I gave this film a very high rating. I did so because I had an inkling of what to expect when I picked this movie off the shelf. First of all it is a comedy, second it is Hong Kong style action with a twist.... third (and this is the most important) its a SEQUEL. If you didnt love 'Noon', dont see this one.

I loved the campiness, and the humor of this film. It is rife with historical blunders... cars, charlie chaplin.... etc, but because Jackie and Owen do thier jobs, I didn't care... I was just waiting to see the next bit of action or witty word play.

The action is difinately from an older Jackie Chan, but is more artistically plotted. Owen Wilson, had better lines in the first movie, but carries through on Roy

O'Bannon's roguish charm.

See this movie f you like the first one.... chances are you wont dislike this one.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

ah, to be a kid again.

[10/10 · 10 July 2003]

I dont know about those of you reading this, but its rare for me, (a 31 year old man) to walk out of a theater feeling like a little kid again.

Watching this movie, I became 10 again, desperately wanting to be the characters I was watching. In fact, I envy the young kids that get to go home after this film, meet their friends in the backyard and have mock sword fights with any bit of stick they can find.

Although a tid-bit long, this film is what summer movies are all about. You don't need to wow me with a gimmicky end, you dont need to send me into comma as I try to understand what the director was trying to say..... simply entertain us. You may not get as much sword fighting as you like, or perhaps you will want to see more 'damsel-in-distress,' or you want more undead butchery..... but mark my words, most of you will walk out of this film feeling good, and having had fun.

The best part of this film is with out a doubt, Johnny Depp. I believe that he has chalked up yet another unforgettable character. IMO Depp will live on in film's history as one of the most colorful actors ever.

Keira Knightly, what can be said.... Disney may have just found the next fresh face.

Take your kids to this movie.... you owe it to them!

Tears of the Sun (2003)

Yummy Bellucci, laughable plot

[7 July 2003]

First, let me say that I didn't hate this film. It's OK and I realize that it is a victim of timing. Being patriotic and compassionate is all well and good, but it gets a little sappy in this film. For those of you, like myself, who would watch 2 hours of static to see 5 minutes of M. Bellucci,.... you'll enjoy watching her... She is believable even if she is just too darn pretty after 4 days in the jungle.

Willis actually isn't half bad, and in my eyes is a victim to horrible directing and plotting. Some of the early scenes with him all painted up are very cool.

What made this movie sub-par for me was the plot.... One question.... if it was so important to get the Prince out of the country, why didn't he just get on the first Helicopter with the good doctor. I know that the fans of the film will say that there was a believable reason, but the film makers never give that a chance....

Rent this one if you love Bellucci, or just really need to see a 'Yea USA' flick. Other than that, this one will be forgotten....

The Emperor's Club (2002)

No club I want to be in...

[5/10 · 7 July 2003]

Could a film be more average? Aside from coherent acting on Kline's part, this film is mediocre in every sense of the word. We don't even get stunning 'Oxford' visuals. I became so bored, I didnt pay attention to the details and became

confused with the plot and several things Kline says... Did he teach while he was Asst. Headmaster? What's more, for being a film about truth and higher learning, it missed on both counts... Kline's character is as dishonest as the Bell character, both with not exposing the cheating, and his pathetic yearning for a peer's wife. If rote

memorization is what higher learning is all about, then I know I didnt miss out.

Rent this one if you have nothing better to watch.

Dollar for the Dead (1998 TV Movie)

I can't believe there are people that liked this film.

[3/10 · 7 July 2003]

Ugggg. What happened to E. Esteves? This film was so bad, it bad me laugh.

Did anyone else nearly pee themselves laughing when Howie Long asks

someone if the Stranger (Esteves) had 'Hard Eyes?' A lot of comments for this film go on and on about the action.... I fail to see how it can even be considered as anything but a spoof. Believability is shot to hell, when I am reduced to counting how many shots the guy has in his 6-shooter... hint: it should only be 6! At one point he fires off over 8 from one pistol. As far as emulating John Woo, it nearly does, because his actions scenes are nearly as bad as these,... only there weren't and slow-motion shots with doves in this one.

Rent this movie only if you havn't gotten a big enough laugh at Howie Long's film career.

Punch-Drunk Love (2002)

Wow... and im not a Sandler fan.

[10/10 · 25 June 2003]

Wow! What can I say. First off, I am not a big Sandler fan. Sure there are a couple of funny moments in his movies, but the pay-off has never been there.

In 'Punch-Drunk Love' you get to see a new version of the guirky Sandler character.... except this time you are a little afraid of this guy... you feel like at any moment, he's gonna loose it. Sandler is phenominal this time out.... he really draws you into his character and your genuinely want him to succeed.

As for the rest of the film... I was uncomfortable through much of the first half, but this is a good thing as it makes me sympathize. As the story evolves, I found my self enthralled with what was going to happen next. I mean, this is a romantic comedy, though a darker one, and I was on the edge of my seat.... not gonna find that in Meg Ryan film....

Excellent! If you havn't seen it.... see it.

Hulk (2003)

Hulk Smash, but not Smash Hit

[7/10 · 23 June 2003]

Well, I rated this film a 7 of 10. I am a comic book collector. That half of me did not enjoy the film, like it wanted to, the other half of me realizes that non-comic book fans have a greater possibility of enjoying this film. First, let me say that despite reservations concerning the CGI Hulk, I was impressed with the 'Hulk' scenes... they really did strike a chord with the side of me that likes to throw temper tantrums when I don't get my way. Several of the scenes were quite impressive not only in their execution but also with the approach Lee took in filming the scene. I also thought the acting was OK. Not distracting, but added to the overly long and at times boring screenplay, the performances loose their luster, and you

start to look for flaws. I think that a lot of times when a movie doesn't keep you attention, people will tend to drift and find flaws that really aren't that important, and when a film is really boring in parts, we tend to find a lot of them as we aimlessly wander over the screen... I think this is what happened to the Hulk, and I would discourage any parents from taking any attention-challenged children to this show... they will bore easily.

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

A bridge to be crossed -I liked it.

[9/10 · 19 June 2003]

First of all, let me say that despite what seems to be a popular expectation when viewing this movie,... it isn't just a re-mixing of footage from the first one. If that is what you want to see.... put your DVD on shuffle and watch "The Matrix."

What you will get is a much more cerebral journey into the Matrix. Yes there are some parts that tend to drag a little, but each scene accomplishes something

either integral to this episode or perhaps the next. I enjoyed this movie and will be in line for the last installment. I loved the action. With the exception of gun play, I feel as though the action equal to, but didn't surpass, that from the first installment. The romance is kept subdued, and best of all, the directors threw the characters (who seemingly had things neatly

wrapped up at the end of the first one) for a loop. Again, as the 3rd and last film approaches, we feel like there maybe no hope for mankind.

I agree that this film lacked a few of the things that a lot of people are

complaining about, but expectations aside I think that "Reloaded" will sit nicely between 2 visionary Sci/Fi films... The Matrix, and The Matrix - Reloaded"

Don't miss out on seeing this one on the big screen... with some of the

alternatives this year, this one is worth the admission.