mardermj Reviews

The Titan (2018)

AVATAR Minus the AVATARS

[8 April 2018]

After an absence of nearly a decade from this genre, a buff (CGI enhanced) Sam Worthington (Sully) of AVATAR fame (and soon to be again) "once again" is transmogrified into an alien creature BUT this time with an idea towards colonizing Titan, for, predictably the Earth is dying from our misuse of it, and we've got to find another home in the nearby universe. Not having much screen time for AVATAR creatures or much of a homeland except a few minutes on Titan saves a fortune, after all this is NFLX--but you would have thought they'd spend on story. That's right, the first spoiler, Titan looks to be completely devoid of life forms. I hope he packed a lunch.

Which of course, didn't happen. Decent writing that is, I don't know about lunch.

It makes absolutely no sense to send one individual to a planet just to see if he'll survive. Flash Gordon made more sense in 1936.

Plot holes. The protagonist kills the lead military guy, who is fairly innocent, but leaves the mad scientist alone. The wife gets to inject him with drugs pharmaceutic ally used to treat depression (!) claiming this will give him a chemical lobotomy, but switches the hype for saline solution inexplicably kept in the same dispensing suitcase!!! MacGuffins abound, Hitchcock would be amused.

The newly formed creature can't communicate except by touch or mental telepathy, for whatever reason the scientists thought that might be important, so, I hope he has better reception on Titan, I can't even get four bars in Starbucks.

I wouldn't sue to get my 90 minutes of life back, because I hate lawyers more than this movie.

But not by much.

My Favorite Year (1982)

A Favorite with an Aspect Ratio Twist

[10/10 · 12 February 2017]

Here's a bit of worthless trivia--the movie was shot to be displayed at 1:85, a little wider than the inexplicable decision to create a widescreen TV image of 1:77.

But the first laserdiscs early 1980's, those 33 1/3 sized 12 inch platinum platters? released the movie in 1:33 ratio.

You'd say so what, that is what pan and scan were able to sidestep, movement of the camera to cover the truncated side areas to fit into a 1:33 frame.

NOT pan and scan. Not. This is one time the studio could ADD visual material top and bottom, and create a pan and scan sized image but where there is actually MORE visual information than in the widescreen versions.

Actually, the safe areas where on top and bottom of the frame, you're supposed to place equipment,mikes and lights and such, and never fear them showing up in the movie,were missing sufficiently so that in order to produce 1:33, they merely ADDED material bottom and top, rather than have to truncate material on the sides. Yup, this is one of those movies (Black Rain 1989) wherewhat looks to be pan and scan is actually full frame in the truest sense.

Some may remember movies in the 1950's were shot to be shown on widescreen 1:85 as well as academy 1:33 ratio, like Invasion of the Body Snatchers 1956 on purpose, because not many screens has converted to widescreen yet. Both My Favorite Year and Black Rain seem to be throwbacks to that earlier practice, only this time the target audience may have been folks with normal TV sets of the times, at 1:33. For by the 1980's, 1:33 aspect ratio movie screens had all been replaced.

Like mint marks on a coin, the two versions of one film make for startlingly different viewing experiences.

How different? That, as they say, is another story.

Nine Lives (I) (2016)

Follow the money--you're paying this movie

[4/10 · 27 August 2016]

Think you're going to drive, pay for four people $40 plus another $30 for a movie (that's 2 all you can eat dinners at the Chinese lunch buffets for 4 down the block) and think, where is my entertainment dollar best spent? I think I'd go for the buffet.

There is a paucity of PG family style related movies these days, so maybe folks think the star power and rating is enough to draw everyone in.

But there is nothing big screen around this admittedly grade B movie. It isn't that it is bad, it's that it's bad for the investment dollar of a public that still thinks, we're in the middle of the great Recession. Sorry, this would have done better as a NETFLIX original or HULU exclusive.

Most of the $30M for this flick went for the stars. Frankly, I'd rather have seen lessor mortals, and the bill for the flick come in under $8M, which at that level would have been a blockbuster. There should be a venue for little movies like this.

The next time folks want to go "B", if the stars want a cut, let them take points and suffer some of the risk. That is the way of the future, if you don't want folks waiting 60 days till Netflix or Hulu or AMZN sucks this up, with extras on the DVD, and commentary to make it all worth $15. (And I can buy my own candy and popcorn)

The Strain (2014–2017)

Zach actor change: Why? Spoiler, kind of.

[6/10 · 16 August 2016]

I wonder the background for the change in actors portraying ZACH.

I see the character turned from just a kid -to something more teenager like- maybe the changeover of personality was too much a stretch? because the second season has Zach becoming a surly teen.

I liked Ben Hyland Season 1.

I don't like the character personality change, no matter how well the new kid Max Charles pulls it off.

First actor had chops.

Wonder what happened.

Anybody have a clue?

The 5th Wave (2016)

Here's the Way This is Going to Work

[5/10 · 18 April 2016]

I gave this movie a 5 for finding enough audience to garner 100% profit.

This movie cost $38M and grossed $67M worldwide, before DVD/BLUE RAY, rentals, etc chime in. It has an audience, however cheesy, and it came in around TEN PERCENT of one Hunger Game budget.

The shooting schedule took a few days. It's a Roger Corman tribute.

You'll get sequels to follow the books, or something is terribly wrong the way the idiot accountants view these franchises.

I'll wait for Hulu or NFLX to pick it up in about ninety days. Any questions?

Minority Report (2015)

Too Cutey Phartsy

[2/10 · 27 September 2015]

Phillip Dick liked the adaptation of Blade Runner (1982) because it depicted a dark apocalyptic universe, and Minority Report (2003) carried this through with world washed out (by an iodide film process used in other movies, like Pitch Black (2000))when futures were depicted.

There's s some of that here, but the world is far too bright to be meaningful. And the plots? How much "just in time" can we stand week after week, it will be the same old story unless they can figure some defining arc that gathers interest.

Otherwise, this series will last about three episodes before biting the dust. Which would be a shame.

Frontera (2014)

How Come these movies don't get wider theatrical release?

[29 August 2015]

I guess the demise of Saturday morning B fare from movie screens since the sixties, has done all of these films in. It's really a shame, this was a great flick.

I don't understand how a film can get a go ahead and not have predistribution rights all over it.

It just seems dumb unless it was destined from the start to hit the streamers and $5 video bin from get go.

I am just glad I caught it on NETFLIX.

That and Hulu seem to be the elephant graveyard.

It's like data mining for movies.

Serena (I) (2014)

What were they thinking? I mean, everybody. SPOILERS!

[4/10 · 28 February 2015]

The actor's portrayal is fairly decent, Lawrence brings it, though Brad just wings it, but this isn't the story you yell up to your 93 year old Mom "Say Mom!!do you remember Brad and Jenn from Silver Linings? WOW!! Let's go watch them again but THIS TIME--they rape the environment, abuse and kill workers, abuse and finally kill "each other", one by proxy via panther (Selena's animal counterpart), the other as a result of suicide --- It's a real laugh riot!!!". Nope. Wrong flick. Sorry Ma.

This is not a movie for the robots and graphic comic crowd, which is why the reviews, every one here so far, lean for the most part, towards literacy, whether intrigued or disappointed. But that doesn't mean the film couldn't have been written better for those with artistic sensibilities. And edited with something other than Serena's borrowed hatchet. If scenes were left on the cutting room floor because of airplane noise, there are sound editors that can fix a lot of that. Where the (*&)(& were they?

And as Lawrence reviewed and thought this film worth making, she was overtaken in her enthusiasm by rewrites leaving out some key points that should have overshadowed the lush photography, and treacly but sometimes fetching musical score she never got to hear till post production. She got ripped off by further and further rewrites that watered down the effects of her character's eventual madness.

Kyle's original treatment had Selena murdering Pemberton for daring to support his bastard child. And the original screenplay has Serena dying at 70 at the hand of Pemberton's bastard son--in the jungle--where she has lived alone for forty years, "imprisoned" as a voluntary exile, longing for the man she murdered.

If you were a film school instructor, and you brought this version of the film to show to class, the teach would say something positive like "I'm glad you tried this."

It reminds me of just the kind of films that got screenwriters blackballed for being Commies in the late forties and fifties, it's "anti-capitalism" in the forties and fifties tradition that anything against business labeled you red. And what is Pemberton's fatal flaw besides raping the environment?--he was balling his help and producing bastards kind of speaks for itself.

And Lawrence's post partum insanity, the frustration behind her failed expectations, IS motivation to turn into a nut-case, it is the SECOND TIME with the loss of her child, that she has lost relatives, first her siblings in a fire calling out for her help, then her child, whose fragility she didn't "listen" for. That is motivation for madness that many missed and the reason she "joins them" so graphically, finally, in the film's final moments. Now all you have to add is the discovery of Pemberton's support, all along, of his bastard kid, and the motivation for insane jealousy and retaliation is underscored.

The only thing missing was, if Serena was such a strong character, I would have preferred she chase down the mother of Pemberton's child and fight her with the same level of strength she showed doing "man's work" in the lumber camp. It's a cheap shot to send a henchman immediately, even though she tags along.

I'd rather a fight ensues in which Serena leaves Pemberton's mistress strangled, left for dead, only to revive. THEN Serena, discovering she's still alive, is now justified in sending a more skillful killer. As it is, it is Pemberton that wrings Serena's neck maddened by her attempt to annihilate his son and his former mistress.

Hey if doing rewrites, I have a right to give it a shot too.

So if the film is strictly 1940's noir, prepare yourself by reviewing films like "The Strange Loves of Martha Ivers" (1946) before you watch this film. It helps.

I'm surprised nobody thought to film this movie in black and white. It becomes a different movie. Not better, but more understandable in context. No wonder Lawrence is compared to Barbara Stanwyck, who died the year she was born. There's a plot for you, reincarnation. But Lawrence's A game is much higher imho. She's got an Oscar to prove it.

Some sex scenes with Lawrence in the classic black widow position came through loud and clear, but really with just a bit of imagination I actually know what sex looks like. In one of the scenes however, and I'll leave it to you to figure which one, if Pemberton is actually correctly "aligned", somebody is anatomically impossibly configured. i only mention it because, it takes you out of the movie. That's a no no. That's about as rated G as I can get on that one, 'nuff said.

BUT--can anyone tell me why the other 5 scenes propel the story, besides pillow talk without the talk? If you're saying the love changes when the sex stops, is that a necessary clue to the plot, given all the rest?

So. Do you think this movie is going to go on to make back its money on DVD and on demand sales? Possible, but unless you're a Lawrence fan trying to complete a collection, what part of "don't think so" is not understood, however worth one viewing.

And the film itself?

Well.

"I'm glad you tried this."

Haven (2010–2015)

Mara + Audrey = Mudrey

[8/10 · 13 December 2014]

The end of Mara? Mommie's wrong. More the combo of the two, with Audrey dominant. It's still Mud, hence, Mudrey.

And the lazy writing? Duke gets to make out with Mara so those who thought Duke should have as much chance as Nathan, are assuaged? Cheap shot.

And what is with the posting of new episodes with No 14 No 16 and No's 20-25 missing, with premature show dates for the rest? I don't think we'll see another episode until Sept 2015, like always. This scheduling nutsiness continues from Hulu to IMDb.

It's getting weirder, than the plots, and the weird plots, that's a good thing.

The Hideous Sun Demon (1958)

Everybody Misses the Alcohol Morality Issue

[10/10 · 7 December 2014]

Besides a shoe string budget, there are the terrific performances of amateurs, the blending of studio stock music, the numerous setups and excellent use of close ups and dolly shots--this is a morality play of what can happen when you do dangerous work crippled by a hangover--and we see the doc doesn't mind a drink now and then. The reptilian brain connection is not worked into the exposition effectively enough, you get the impression that the characters are more worried about appearance, and viewers don't get it that the reptilian brain is survival oriented, in a maniacal way.

Also the man into lizard issue was neatly grafted into folklore by the Alligator people, a 1959 follow up to this movie, which was originally made in 1958, and MARVEL's own universe Dr. Kurt Conners, aka the LIZARD. Clarke shoulda sued, but he was too nice a guy even to mention it.

Great grade Z flick, worthy of a re-look, especially the remastered version on youtube.

Blue Bloods (2010–2024)

Mindless, 70's era pap

[1/10 · 22 July 2014]

I don't care about the characters. I don't believe the family setting. The plots are banal and have all been done before. The only suspense around finding the perpetrator is about two minutes before the reveal. The series makes Colombo in the 1960's look like Shakespeare. The acting is wooden and insincere but only a shade less than that presented in Plan 9 From Outer Space (1956) with Bela Lugosi and a similar cast of unknowns, or should be unknowns. The family values appear to be cobbled together from the ABC/NBC/CBS history of '50's families as portrayed by the Cleaver family from "Leave It To Beaver". The last time the show played anything for a laugh was the last time I thought of the writers of this series hysterically getting drunk and making fun of anyone would watch it, let alone support by viewership five seasons to date of this mindless drivel.

The theme music is a cliché outclassed by background music from Dick Tracey (1951), one of the first TV detective shows made with a shoestring budget.

I can see the other people on this show grateful for the work, but what is Selleck doing in this mess? I'd trade the entire five seasons for a couple of Jesse Stone's, and the ones he wrote weren't that splorific either, except they had plot substance, and genuine interest.

But I'm prejudiced. You know, I'm rather fond of you Jessie.

Revolution: Declaration of Independence (2014) Season 2, Episode 22

Ending on a high note: clown face and potatoes

[1/10 · 22 May 2014]

The show started as post Apocalypse and reminded me of fiction built around that series of specials, what would happen if man ended his reign on earth, and the world deteriorated decade by decade. Instead of more intrigue around that dissolution, it ends on boring political wars with artificial intelligence thrown in, but not a zombie in sight, the original premise of no electricity, as gone as Laura's real killer mid season Twin Peaks, same problem, same lame meaningless drift, almost twenty five years ago.

And we're left with the "cliffhanger" -- stuck in Idaho with a clown faced neon sign and a bunch of robotic people roaming around. NEVER have I felt more disinterested in how this all works out.

The actors and cinematography was without peer, music great, original premise intriguing, and the writers just ran out of ideas and it was painful to watch episode by episode.

Maybe NFLX or scy fy channel might be interested in resurrecting this mess, but my first recommendation would be, get some new writers and a real plot line that involves some more science fiction. This started fairly well and ended up lamer than four day old sushi.

24: Live Another Day (2014)

Jack's "Break" for 4 Years Ends With Another Cruddy Day

[10/10 · 18 May 2014]

we get to enjoy, though I must say, I could not watch the original series for a decade, and wound up binge streaming it from NFLX about a year ago, 2013.

Even though I have some familiarity with young members of various real US agencies, even though I know the active services from Homeland to DoD are filled with competent young people, I never quite worked myself into that universe in this series--To me, Jack had to be older, grislier, seen too much, too over the top and over the hill, to be credible back in the day, and the first season has Jack showing up bleach blond like a surfer dude--it just turned me off.

But I find myself with time on my hands, and watched the entire series in about a week. To my prejudicial mind, Jack started to "look the part" about season V, and sure enough, folks seem to think that was a series high point.

I tell you what, I saw the first three episodes of Day 9, I got to tell you, the vista is grander, the international setting is a great expansion of this universe on a global scale, and the shows seem even more like mini movies. I don't think we need a movie here, I think we're going to get about a 12 hour movie anyway. And again, Jack's got all the lines and wrinkles I think he needs to be credible in my incredibly limited view.

I am glad they got a lot of the old crew back, but I am mostly glad Jack seems more fitting to his demeanor and this universe at 48 than 35 for this role. It just makes the whole thing more credible to me. I hope the series is renewed. And if the network can't handle it, I hope it transitions to cable or becomes a NFLX series.

In any event, I think Sutherland can wind up with another seven seasons, and I can get my age prejudice settled as a matter of time.

After all, there are millions of people's "lives" out there with a stake in its success, and it would be nice if Jack got the girl this time, without her being shot up right after they hook up.

That's a rough date I wouldn't wish on anyone, bleach blond or grizzled vet.

Dammit Jack! GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!

Sabotage (2014)

See why they didn't give critics are preview?

[8/10 · 11 April 2014]

Burt Lancaster was fearless breaking the mold on characterization every movie. He never talked box office, only if the plot was interesting. He was dark and gritty, swashbuckled and acrobatic, self absorbed and moody, lost in suburbia, blah blah blah.

Arnold's been a one note samba forever. The world nearly exploded when he tried successfully, comedy. This guy isn't Bogart or Lancaster, he's self taught and limited and every foray into something a bit different seems like the invasion of Normandy.

So. Even a sidebar into tough and gritty from superhero and muscle bound cartoon character is fraught with peril, especially now that he is 68 years old. So they released the movie without fanfare and a chance for vulture critics to mangle what might be an decent flick, without prejudice.

It's not a disappointment, and I agree, too many F bombs just takes you out of the action, but all in all, fairly courageous and well executed, even if the climax has you wondering, can Arnold at 68 still pull off lone wolf "gets the bad guy" endings all by himself?

I'm reminded of a gentlemanly C I got on a paper I wrote for Freshman English back when dinosaurs ruled the earth. The professor wrote "I am glad you tried this."

Arnold, I am glad you tried this.

Frozen (I) (2013)

"Frozen" Left Me, uh, Cold

[1/10 · 23 March 2014]

This is a seven minute cartoon stretched into a full length movie, mindless pap. About the only revelation worth mentioning, Kristen Bell, can sing and the Disney studios can make a lush looking cartoon. Any parent with a kid under 8 will understandably be grateful for a full length babysitter that isn't some slasher flick, but I had the misfortune to go with three other adults thinking, there may be some tunes worth humming, and it would be nice to see what the Disney studio can do with plot and music. We found ourselves stabbing ourselves in the thigh trying to stay awake and commenting, white noise would have a better plot.

Every song is overplayed Broadway pap. This thing was built to bring to the stage to showcase the music, which is cloying and pretentious. The moral of the story, accept who you are for what you are, is a sledgehammer looking for a brain to bludgeon.

There are ways to appeal to everyone in a cartoon world, but not everything is as intelligent, or as ancient, as Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Which brings me to Sherman and Peabody, which has me foreboding and in trepidation,--but that, as they say, is another story.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013)

Just NOT Funny, Embarrassing, Waste of Time

[1/10 · 14 March 2014]

Just awful, the characters are written and played like some 12 year old's on speed. I didn't even snicker once, no jokes worth laughing about, no plot element or twist worth considering intelligent. I embarrassed myself taking my elderly Mom and neighbor friend to see this abomination thinking it might be funny. That was the first time she asked the theater manager for double her money back. Look. My Mom is 92 and things are a challenge for her--but she sure came out loud and clear at the end of the movie with "What the flub was THAT all about?"

Mom, it's about two hours of life we'll BOTH never get back.

Whatever money Carrel and Farrel took for this rambling horror show should be donated, preferably to the Screen Writers Guild, where Ferrule should be confined to two years, hard labor, taking lessons. UGH!

If this isn't the reason for the decline of Western Civilization, it comes just as close as you can get! WOW whatta stinkburger! I wish there was a zero as a vote--there isn't, just take it from me, it's a zero, and after making that designation, apologize to the digit. Woof.

Justified (2010–2015)

Only SIX Seasons? YOST, put on your thinking cap

[10/10 · 20 January 2014]

and look at the story lines you've tossed off without follow up. Like the detective Carlo Guilono (sp) played, it was barely an eyeroll, a real throwaway with promise--I mean SIX seasons is all? GIMMEE a BREAK!, what is this, go out at the peak shtick?

And what happened to that 100 show minimum to make reruns profitable, there's only sixty in the can. What's the rush to roll this into a final episode? Make some money, mine what you've done. So much left behind.

The latest "fad" is to go out at the top "Breaking Bad" style, as if that were the new paradigm. Look at the mess they made out of Dexter at the end, crashing two seasons worth of writing together as if they were in a race (on account of the strike compressing the two seasons).

Jeez, kick back and think. I know Elmore's dead, surely you can structure a quip by now without giving him a phone call--even I can do it--it's a simple inverted 180:

Raylan: "You're quitting on me after six lonely seasons, are you?"

YOST: "I'm not thinking we can write anything fresh!--Elmore ain't exactly around to answer the phone."

Raylan: You're not thinking. You coulda quit right there.... told me everything I DIDN'T want to hear.

Boyd: He's right. Now sit down and just start typing anything--need more "ambee-awnce" there's always the station house, empty cells fresh outta drunks but awash with the stink of stale urine, await, to motivate.

Well?

YOST: (Takes a seat, opens laptop, gives all the fishy eye, start typing)

See how that works?

The Long Goodbye (1973)

Are we watching the same movie?

[2/10 · 10 December 2013]

I waited forty years to watch this pretentious drivel, and have come to the conclusion that I was right in delaying this waste of two hours of my life till I lay in the twilight of my life, in retirement. Watching this movie is like watching a high school student attempt to make a meaningful movie, without talent, understanding, or plot.

Rambling dialogue made up on the moment, obviously without thinking or blocking, by actors on drugs, and a one liner plot, make one clear statement about Hollywood:: and that is, the people who greenlight these atrocities have as much clue as the courtiers telling the Emperor he looks better and better, as he sheds more and more clothes till naked, a la "the Emperor's New Clothes". Which is to say, zilch.

Utter dreck, forever a blight on the careers of everyone associated with this waste of time. Chalk up another reason for the decline of civilization in the last forty years.

Ugh.

The White Buffalo (1977)

Incredible Mood Piece

[10/10 · 20 August 2013]

This is one movie, it pays to revisit OUT of the context of its time. I think we need to stop comparing it to Jaws or King Kong. I think the relationship between the leads is much more important, and I liked the character development devoid of many Bronson films. I liked the fact that creature special effects were "in the camera", animatronic rather than CGI. To be frank, CGI had NOT risen to the level of creature creations--stop motion, which was not used, was mainstay until the early '90's, even in Star Wars sequels five years later. And the mood music? The music is extraordinarily moody--this is a monaural track, yet it filled the military theater in Frankfurt Germany where I served back in '77 and paid my 50 cents to see it.

Maybe the mood of the movie is too dark. Maybe it's too cold, it left me shivering. Maybe we're not supposed to think about characterization and WB makes you think about the relationships between the characters, and that's not what Bronson movies were supposed to be about. Maybe we don't like a little hard work.

Give this one a chance. I think it is top notch.

So hang up your prejudices and sit through it as if you never saw Bronson, or Will Sampson, or Jack Ward or Clint Walker in any previous role, because they're all outside the box in this one and they pull it off in my humble estimation.

And that makes it one of my all time favorites.

Get the Gringo (2012)

Goofy Insipid Dialogue

[12 August 2013]

I'm not a fan of goofy dopey insipid dialog, and the Gibson character oozes sarcasm at all the wrong moments, taking you out of this picture, which has real historical relevancy in the way this prison is depicted.

It turns it into Three (Minus 2) Stooges at all the wrong times.--as if written by a 12 year old off ADHD meds, as if Gibson was in another movie. The good side of this downside, all the other actors look like pros.

This ISN'T Payback II. It's Wretched I. Luckily, it was on NFLX, and I didn't pay for it, not even the dollar rack in the DVD bin.

I lucked out. I just wish I could get my two hours of life back.

Bullet to the Head (2012)

WWM (World's Worst Movie)

[1/10 · 23 June 2013]

Jokes don't work, plot twists are "who cares" based, and lines befitting a 12 year old with no brains, never in the history of Ed Wood have I wanted by $7.50 back this badly (wow, folks wasted 10 bucks in prime time for this trash). I took my 91 year old Mom to see this, and she slept through it mercifully. Sometimes "star power" green-lights drivel, and this is a great example of why studios waste money.

Plot sagged worse than Stallone's boobs, which could use a lift as much as my spirits after watching this embarrassing horror. Stallone is stiff as a board and can't seem to turn his head after all those pins were stuck in it. You can stick a pin in this DVD movie straight to the one dollar bin, and free on NETFLIX in about six months. Free will be too much for this money.

And gosh SLY needs to GET A BETTER HAIRPIECE, the one Sly used looks like something Tom Cruise abandoned after "Collateral" circa 2003.....Hint: It's EXPENDABLE. Ugh!

Now get on with Expendable III. This was expendable for real

Body of Proof (2011–2013)

Cancelled. RATS!

[11 May 2013]

I liked the darker tone and the new direction towards drama versus comedy, but apparently the viewers did not. I sure hope they counted the internet watchers when they made the cancellation decision, I know many watching on those services don't get counted in the ratings body count.

This show was not "House", but it wasn't bad at all and had interesting stories, and a great new dynamic between the lead and the new male interest.

There wasn't a single redundant character, and I would have liked to have seen more back-stories other than the lead developed, in the form of a continuing arc.

Ah. Phooey.

Touch (2012–2013)

Cancelled: RATS!

[7/10 · 11 May 2013]

I got used to Sutherland rasping his way every week through every episode, and the Avram character was refreshing, but the mythology of the show didn't get enough grounding as it seems to be made of whole cloth. I guess too much historical grounding would have run folks away, but putting the show on Friday night is the equivalent of stranding someone on a desert aisle without food or water. They only survive so long.

I hope all these talented actors find new work, Sutherland will probably get a revival of "24", there's lots of talk about greenlighting a mini series.

But that is another story.

Star Trek: Enterprise: These Are the Voyages... (2005) Season 4, Episode 22

If History Serves to Remind

[1/10 · 9 January 2013]

Never post to internet, what you don't want haunting you, forever. That statement also has a prequel.

Never put together a series finale, where fans still roil in pain at its mentioning decades later.

So where we are, nearly a decade after the finale of this flawed but curiously interesting series?

Still furious, still steaming. And wishing we could execute Shatner's imperative, to "get a life" beyond Trek.

In short, if this finale was a B and B "Valentine" to the fans, consider what might happen if you showed up on Valentine's day with a vacuum cleaner as a gift in lieu of flowers.

Would it not be a disaster you'd never get over, never hear the end of no matter how much time has passed?

Well, here we are!

How bad was this finale? I hope they end the series with Blu-Ray 4th Season at Terra Prime, and isolate this last episode into some "Epilogue" extra with lots of mea culpa secondary tracts by B and B and the cast--of the original Enterprise.

As to this episode, what utter betrayal to both artists and fans.

During the four year run I got past the totally inappropriate theme music, the titillation of a Spock with boobs, another heavily accented engineer, the counter McCoy smiley Doc Phlox - as arcs in the last year were getting interestingly past alien of the week.

Much has been correctly made of the marginalization of the entire cast and crew by framing this episode, nay, entire series, inside a holodeck dream TNG sequence overseen by middle aged, chubby Riker sporting Shatner's old hairpiece.

What was the throwaway death of Trip about? So Archer could make a meeting on time? What a B and B sop to studio execs and their meetings, why folks would sacrifice lives to have their leaders make one! All that build up to a speech never recited! All the hope between Trip/T'Pal dashed.

Certainly real life doesn't work happily ever after, there's real tragedy, folks die, people move on. But our fiction, however dark, is more a place where we like to imbue closure and what the world should look like. Even "Lost" had folks dieing happily ever after and many of us thought that ending was tripe and pandering.

But this Enterprise finale plot goes down in history, as the Dallas dream sequence that brought back brother Bobby to the living did, as one of the off putting in TV history.

I mirror Blalock's comments. "Crap". "Appalling". It marginalized everyone by reducing them to stand ins on a TNG holodeck.

It was as if B and B were saying, OK, we struggled with these plot lines, but you didn't support us with a big enough fan base to make this commercially successful, we'll get you for that. We'll show you. For investing in these characters, our last lines will be "it's only a dream, it isn't "real". That'll fix ya!

Yup. Just a dream. But some nightmares haunt forever.

Last Resort (I) (2012–2013)

Think Republic Serial 1937

[2/10 · 28 November 2012]

A submarine CAPT goes rogue when ordered to nuke Pakistan, the chain of command suspect in his mind sufficiently, for him to hijack the sub to an idyllic island inhabited by pretty people. They (not the pretty people) try to fend off the power and authority of the US whose govt has been commandeered by a sinister SEC of State. Or was it the SECDEF? Somebody. (See--relying on no facts is catching isn't it?

OK--all of this is a stretch but

...the lack of a modicum of realism, in situation, subplot, military bearing, parlance, behavior, etc. has me thinking, a bunch of stylists and artsy farts folks too lazy to even crack Wikipedia, folks who never came close to military or political real world - or graduated high school-made up an alternate so unreal as to be cringe worthy, embarrassing, laughable in some pained way.

Now THAT's treason.

Sean Connery said in Last Crusade "I should have given this to the Marx Brothers". It applies.

Which leads me to my 1937 Republic Serial analogy, a la "Dick Tracy", 15 chapters not even be related, except by character name, to the comic strip from which it was derived.

In Last Resort--which is named so badly you can't figure out what the show is about simply by looking at the title ("LOST" or WALKING DEAD" anyone?) reminds me of Dick Tracy.

I couldn't sit through 15 chapters of that one either, half century ago, when the world was young, money was made out of real silver, and the real world wasn't on financial self-destruct.

And that's the real problem with this show, it's so bad I can't even replace an hour of that reality with successful diversion.