chrisjgray2000 Reviews

The Witches (1990)

Enchanting and creepy.

[8/10 · 5 October 2002]

Roald Dahl's novel of supernatural women who want to rid the world of children becomes a film which shows some pretty nice effects.

It stars Angelica Huston as the Grand High With who holds a meeting at a hotel, where at the same time a former witch hunter and her grandson, Luke, are staying. The Grand High With is then battled against by the two while Luke has been turned into a mouse.

It's a pretty gruesome film due to the fact that children will be watching. The film may prove a little too much for them but it's great, with good performances and some enchanting music at the start, the film gives the look of a real family movie. ****

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)

Gross but fun.

[7/10 · 4 August 2002]

Myke Myers returns as the hip swinging spy, Austin Powers to stop Dr. Evil who has returned from space to go back in time to steal Austin's 'mojo'. You might as well forget the plot because it doesn't really mean anything. The movie gets its kicks with Austin's usual jokes, Dr. Evil's brilliant quotes and a lot of other ideas. The film is good and pretty funny, it's just not exciting and fresh like the original. A fun film. ***

Spider-Man (2002)

Just a comic book.

[2 August 2002]

It's not a bad thing that a comicbook has become a big Hollywood film but there's something about the movie that says, I shouldn't like this but I do.

There are ideas that aren't great and action scenes that have been seen everywhere, but the film provides an entertaining look on geeky teen Peter Parker(Tobey Maguire in good form)becoming a superhero with superpowers that he has inherited from a radioactive spider. The film also tries to stress the fact that,"With great power comes great responsibility". This quote is said to much and soon you find yourself saying, "We know". With that the film also gives action scenes that are good, some actors that shouldn't be there and a pretty unoriginal ending that we've seen time and time again. ***

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)

I thought it couldn't get worse.

[1/10 · 2 August 2002]

The followup to 1995's blockbuster "Mortal Kombat" is as bad, if not worse than the original. The story is just unbelievable and the script is just plain bad. The actors are in some cases different, but in all cases doing a pretty bad job. There aren't any fancy ideas to save the movie and the special effects and camera work may have thought to been updated and better but they haven't. Nightmare of a movie that keeps the fans of the videogame interested enough but for everyone else, it flops. Incredibly bad film that would be better if it didn't exist. *

Mortal Kombat (1995)

Complete waste of time!

[2/10 · 31 July 2002]

Based on a video game, Mortal Kombat doesn't really have much of a plot. Well for what it is it goes like this.

Three people, an actor, a policewoman and a guy looking for revenge for the murder of his brother are chosen to go to a weird island to compete in a tournament that will chose the fate of the world. If it's got you interested then fine but you will be bored sooner or later.

Pretty bad acting and a script that is either so corny or just plain annoying makes this a movie that is just stupid. Christopher Lambert as some electric god or other tries to be mysterious but just gives a performance that is really a man that whispers a lot. The special effects are fine with some sets that are well made. The fight scenes are alright but most of the thrills rely on sound effects rather the acting and visuals. So really a movie to be avoided but the special effects may give a little entertainment. **

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)

Fun

[9/10 · 8 July 2002]

After Wayne's World Myke Myers has made a comeback with a swinging spy called Austin Powers.

Austin Powers has had himself frozen since 1967 so that if his nemises Dr. Evil returns to Earth he can be called upon to do battle with the mastermind.

It's a fun James Bond spoof with Myke Myers playing both the title role and the bad guy. Although the film is to make Austin the star of the show it's actually Dr. Evil that is funnier with his brilliant phrases such as when he explains who his parents are. The fun doesn't even stop there. Of course there are some faults and the film does wear some of the jokes thin but it doesn't stop Austin and the other weird and wonderful characters from making the whole thing a funny romp. ****

Hot Shots! (1991)

Funny

[6/10 · 2 July 2002]

The makers of Airplane! decide to make fun of the highly successful Top Gun. And the movie is fine. It's not amazing or spectacular but has its moments of comedy that show that whatever you did to see this movie is not wasted.

Topper Harley is wanted to test out a new plane for the navy and meets up with a rival, an attractive secretary and a loony Admiral(brilliantly done by Lloyd Bridges).

It's not a long film but it's fine to watch when bored though watching it time and time again may drag the jokes out of it. ***

Police Academy (1984)

Very funny

[2 July 2002]

It turns out that the mayor of a city is wanting to have a better Police force and so opens up a more spaces in the Police Academy so that more people may apply. It turns out that the new applicants are a bunch of losers, wackos, and other various people that just don't fit in.

The whole film is very funny. The characters are normal but very different making them look like complete misfits against each other. But the show is stolen by G.W. Bailey who plays the mean but brilliant Lieutenant Harris.

The movie is a very funny and promising film that is lots of fun. ****

Scary Movie 2 (2001)

Far better than the dreaded first.

[4 June 2002]

The Scary Movie team are back to make more fun of the horror genre. Oh good. Well it's not that bad. It's certainly an improvement on the last attempt to make us laugh.

The survivors of a murder spree are tricked by a professor who is desperate for you-know-what, into staying in a house that once lived a girl who was possessed, and other mysterious things that have happened. The teens are then put up against a haunted house run by a strange care taker called Hanson.

The film makes fun of supernatural horror movies this time and has some jokes that can give a giggle and most of the giggles come from Hanson(Chris Elliot), but there are other jokes that are repetitive, unoriginal and just stupid that brings the movie down again. Another problem is that the movie is far too short and maybe this was a good idea as to not to go to far but in the end it's just a movie that will put a smile to your face, if not it will gross you out. ***

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

Nicely Done.

[2 June 2002]

After lurking outside a little store, sabotaging a game show, giving love advice and saved the world, Jay and Silent Bob decide to go to Hollywood to stop a movie from being made.

Jay and Silent Bob find that the comic book "Bluntman and Chronic" is about to made into a major movie and not everyone in the world is happy about the idea so they send their offensive opinions on the subject onto the internet. Jay and Bob aren't happy about this and decide to go to Hollywood to stop the movie being made. On the way they make friends, eniemies and meet up with a chimpanzee.

The film is good fun(not clean fun though)and gets giggles right from the start, but there are jokes that aren't original and then you can find yourself not laughing at them. Also you will have to watch the other four movies(and the Scream triology) with the duo in them to get more laughs. It's fun but not fantastic.***

Scary Movie (2000)

So funny it's not?

[2 June 2002]

It turns out that spoofs are back and we have got a movie based on recent teenage horror stalk n' slash flicks. A novel idea. A good movie would have been better.

It turns out that a group of teenagers are getting a hard time from a murderer that could be linked to an incident that the teenagers caused a year ago.

The movie is really the "Scream" series and "I Know What You Did Last Summer" mixed together for the plot and given the style of "Airplane!" jokes that include silly visuals. This may sound fun but it's a bore. The jokes tired, the acting is pathetic, even if that was supposed to be a joke to show how bad acting has become. If the bad acting was a joke, it didn't work.

In the end the movie is a disgusting, worthless and pretty gagless movie that those who do laugh at it are just giving laughs that are obviously forced. *

Dune (1984)

Alright, but just a little too long.

[20 May 2002]

The Star Wars series has no reason to fear for this Sci-fi epic may be good, but it's not fantastic.

Paul Atriedes is moving to the planet Arrakis also known as Dune, for the Harkonnens have moved away from Arrakis and so the Atriedes now have control over the planet which is home to the most precious substance in the Universe, the spice melange. But before the departure to Arrakis, a Bene Gesserit Witch visits Paul and tests him with a "box".

The film has enjoyable, yet very serious parts for the first forty minutes. The film comes to an end and you may be wondering what just happened. Another problem is that the end has a very corny and pretty bad script.

The special effects aren't bad but confusing and the film needs to be watched at least three times so that it can be understood. But for those who are looking for a very long sci-fi drama movie that can be tiring as you may give up on the plot at some point, then look no further. But if you want a sci-fi movie that is enjoyable and epic, stick to Star Wars. ***

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

Still keeping the series epic as ever.

[18 May 2002]

After Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings, the Star Wars may have faded and this movie could have shown signs of disappearing and letting The Lord of the Rings become the king of Fantasy movies. George Lucas didn't want that to happen so he decided to make a great movie, and he did it.

Queen Amidala has now become a senator and is the target of a bounty hunter. Amidala receives a Jedi to protect her, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan has an apprentice, Anakin Skywalker who notices Amidala more in a loving way. The two men are then driven apart for Obi-Wan goes to investigate a cloning plan to make a great army.

The story has far more points to it and you really have to watch the movie to enjoy the splendor of it. Ewan McGregor is brilliant and full of action in every part there is good action, special effects are once again brilliant but it's the fully computorised Yoda who steals the show espicially near the end.

Family movies always end up either short and pointless or great and fantastic. This is neither. This is a long movie but easy to sit through because of all the wonderful parts of it. The only problem is the cliched love scenes that are better off in a Pearl Harbor sequel, but with other scenes in the movie so great, who cares who falls in love with who? ****

Two Ceasefires and a Wedding (1995 TV Movie)

Really a start, but pretty funny.

[7 April 2002]

This is really the setting for "Give My Head Peace", which sees the marriage of Emer and Billy getting married. The two families try to sort out their differences as Emer's family are Catholics and Billy's family are Prodestants living in Northern Ireland. Funny, and a bit like a spoof in a few visual jokes, but pretty funny altogether.

Crossroads (I) (2002)

No laughter, no entertainment....no point.

[3/10 · 6 April 2002]

The plot:Three girls go on a road trip after their graduation to become something, and are helped by an ex-murderer.

Good Points:It tries to be happy.

Bad Points:It's unoriginal It's boring. Acting isn't great. Doesn't excite, just bores.

The view:The first twenty minutes may give some(very little though)comedy parts to give a little spark. That's all that really counts. Britney Spears needs to maybe get something a bit more serious, or enjoyable, possibly anything but this to give her career a boost in the movie business. This movie isn't that great. It's Thelma & Louise with teenagers and the old "find real parent"thing just hinted into about five minutes with the film. That doesn't do the film any favors at all. Instead it brings it a more depressing and boring acting skills for the actors. The actors are really just 2D shapes walking around being told what to do and that makes this film one you just might want to miss **

Batman (1989)

Dark and pretty good.

[6 April 2002]

The plot:A Dark Knight known as Batman who is really billionaire Bruce Wayne, begins to wade war on crime in a city known as Gotham City, but finds that he has to defeat a menace called Joker who is a dead villain.

Good Points:Pretty dark and atmospheric. Jack Nicholson is fantastic. Script's funny and put just right for a comic book creation.

Bad Points:Kim Basinger screams a lot.

The view:A brilliant adaption of a comic book character with designs for sets and actors up to high standard, this is really good and should be called a classic and not just an attempt to make money of merchandise(although that's what happened). Great dark but a bit violent fun. ****

Legally Blonde (2001)

Good teenage fun

[31 March 2002]

The plot:A blonde beauty called El Woods has lost her boyfriend as he thinks she isn't serious enough about the future, and so El Woods decides to study hard to get into a Law School where her ex is attending, and win him back.

The view:An often funny, but really strictly fiction story that gives orignal, yet unoriginal jokes all the way through. That doesn't spoil the fun as the film is enjoyable throughout but you have to ask yourself, "Have I seen this somewhere before?" ***

A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

Dazziling and brilliant.

[30 March 2002]

The plot:A couple who have a son who is ill decide to bring in a robot boy that will replace their son. Then their real son is cured and the couple give both the their son, and adopted robot son a chance to get along. It fails and the couple decide to leave their robot son in a forest, leaving him to go on a journey to become a real boy, with the help of a teddy supertoy and a gigalo robot.

The view:A sci-fi that will really dazzle and make you open your mind to all possibilties to give you a story and brilliant special effects that is a bit dark at times and will worry those who fall in love with Haley Joel Osmond's performance(which is brilliant), but in the end it's a real masterpiece. ****

The Mummy Returns (2001)

Far too flashy.

[30 March 2002]

The plot:Ten years after killing off the evil priest Imhotep, the Rick O' Connor has married Evie and they have a son called Aleks that has a big interest with Egypt's history. They search for a bracelet once owned by a man known as the Scorpion King, that used an army that would enslave the world.

Meanwhile a cult has found the body of Imhotep and have raised him from the dead to fight the Scorpion King so that the army the SK had would be under the control of Imhotep and can enslave the world. The O' Connors are left with fighting off Imhotep and a bunch of other various creations and enemies.

The view:The plot sounds action packed, and it is. The action scenes are brilliantly put together and the entertainment is put in the film from start to finish. The problem is that the film relies on computers far to much to bring some action scenes to life and it comes to a point when the viewer can't take any more of it and the enjoyment stops there, and when the ending has come along the scenes have tired the viewer out making you want to hate some of the way it was made. ***

Toy Story (1995)

A fantastic family film.

[9/10 · 30 March 2002]

The plot:A wooden cowboy doll called Woody is a young boy's favourite toy, yet when his owner gets a space toy of an astronaut called Buzz Lightyear, Woody has been left out of his owner's daily live. Woody finds out that Buzz Lightyear thinks that he really is a space ranger. Both toys are now fighting each other while being kidnaped by the next door nieghbour that hates toys and must work together to get back to their owner before they are destroyed.

The view:A wonderful enchanting and nicely funny story about rivally between two toys that are animated very well, with the fact of the movie being the first that was computer animated, this movie is really for everyone that enjoys watching a film that the whole family will delight in. Great fun. ****

Super Mario Bros. (1993)

Daft fun.

[30 March 2002]

The plot:Two plumbers who are known as the Marios, meet a strange young girl that has a rock on her neck. Two idiots from another world kidnap the strange girl known as Daisy, after kidnaping other girls from Brooklyn. The two Marios decide to rescue her from the Two Idiots that have taken her to another world ruled by an evil king known as Koopa.

The View:Performances aren't the major thing here, but the special effects and creations are to be noticed more. The movie itself isn't bad and as a comedy, will have a few(just a few)giggles. It's all really just a fun fantasy movie that just doesn't shine through and doesn't make any effort to make an historical movie, but the film is fun and you will enjoy it as a complete no-brainer. ***

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

It's fine

[9/10 · 29 March 2002]

The plot:Two Jedi Knights are sent to negotiate with the Trade Federation that is making taxes for the planet of Naboo too high. The Trade Federation are now thinking of an invasion to settle the matter and so the Jedi Knights must help the Queen of Naboo, Queen Amidala to keep her planet save. On their quest for the safety of the Queen, the Jedis stumble across a boy that seems to have a powerful way with the Force.

The view:Although the plot looks long, it's actually paper thin, as the film is really just a chance to show off great special effects and an introduction to some of the characters for the original Star Wars trilogy. That's not to say that this film is bad, it's far from it but it's full of things that the viewer just couldn't care less about e.g the council meeting about how the problem should be solved.

Though the view has many down points, the film is very enjoyable and the music for the end battle is terrific. Though Jake Lloyd pretty bad as he's pretty flat as the young Anakin Skywalker. ****

Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)

Fantastic

[10/10 · 27 March 2002]

The plot:Han solo has been ceased by Boba Fett and given the a vile gangster Jabba the Hutt. Luke Skywalker attempts to rescue him while the Emperor is building a new Death Star for a new war.

The view:A series which has not letdown so far and this new installment isn't a disappointment. A whole trilogy that now stands out from any other and gives us entertainment all the way through a two hour long movie. Special effects are once again present and are still brought with style. Fans of the other films will enjoy this highly and make sure that this is one series that proves that sci-fi can be cool and not geeky. *****

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

The movie that(in my opinion)is the best ever.

[10/10 · 25 March 2002]

The plot:Luke Skywalker is now with the rebellion against the Empire and is present on the planet Hoth, an ice planet that Darth Vador has decided to attack in an attempt to capture Luke. Luke is near from death and he sees a vision on Obi-Wan telling him to go to a planet called Degobah to meet a Jedi called Yoda.

The View:The handling of this film is pretty much the same, but the darker tone and plot including the ending makes this film far more interesting and enjoyable than the last.The length is pretty long so it may be hard to stick with the film because it may drag on but it's worth it in the end because of the brilliant ending and fantastic music by John Williams. *****

Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)

How good can a movie be.

[9/10 · 25 March 2002]

The Plot:A young boy called Luke Skywalker is encountered with two robots, one of whom is carrying a message from a young woman in distress and is asking for an Obi-Wan Kenobi. Luke then learns about the force and decides to flee his planet to become a Jedi.

The view:Many summer blockbusters are just things that come to introduce a character then put the character in a small situation that endangers them or someone else. This one is really introducing characters, but it's done in a longer film giving more time for story, special effects and other various delights. This is one movie that has never really gone to stupidity or craziness and keeps everything in a well balanced show.