Change Your Image
hunca-2
Reviews
Rhinestone (1984)
For the sake of humanity, all copies of this movie should be destroyed
Quite possibly the worst movie, ever, and way too lame and painful to even be funny. It's so hard to watch Stallone make an utter fool of himself, with his doofus voice ('Duh Duh'), and his weak chin, beaky nose, and bulgy eyes. PAINFUL! How this guy ever got to be Big Box Office is beyond me. I keep wondering how great 'Demolition Man' could have been, with a different male lead, but thankfully, that movie had a fantastic cast and was a solid story.
I know Dolly has a huge fanbase, but all I could think, watching the two of them, was how like clowns they both looked. Overblown, overdone, over-inflated. Thank goodness the ladies coming out of country music now are more 'real'-looking.
The best performance was by Ron Liebman, who plays a slimeball to such a degree that I felt nauseous.
Parton and Stallone have absolutely no chemistry, and the music, such as it is, is horrendously awful. Protect yourself; do not ever watch this movie.
Vegas Vampires (2007)
Run as fast as you can away from this 'movie'
Well, I would've given this a half-point, if I'd been able; one is being generous. This makes John Carpenter's 'Vampires' look like fine film, and 'From Dusk Till Dawn' look like an academy award winner. Barely a plot, dialogue, uh... did anyone go to school?, special effects imported from a bad video game, vampire teeth that were 100 for 99 cents, characters that were such low-life losers that I was hoping the vamps would get them, just to put me out of my misery.
Someone should keep Daniel Baldwin away from the buffets, and let's hope the producers of this mess never get it into their heads again that they should make a movie. It wasn't even bad enough to be funny. Best line in the film? "Don't let him bite you!"
Streets of Fire (1984)
And did you notice Marine Jahan's dancing in Torchy's?
That really caught my eye, and got me hooked into watching the movie. I can't say it's a great flick, tho Amy Madigan is terrific. It tries to mix up time periods for a unique look, but it screams eighties to today's eyes.
I love to watch movies for the little gems, such as early performances or interesting bits of trivia, such as French actress, Marine Jahan's small role as a bar dancer at Torchy's. I recognized those 'Flashdance' moves right away! Marine was Jennifer Beals' dance double for most of that film, and both that, and Diane Lane's beauty absolutely epitomize the eighties era to me.
If this movie were to be re-made today, I can really see Nathan Fillion in Pare's role. If you're feeling nostalgic for the eighties, and you love Diane Lane, this one is worth a once-watch.
Starquest II (1996)
Only one redeeming feature: Adam Baldwin
I gave this a 2 instead of a 1 only because I got to see a lot of Adam Baldwin, and I do mean, a LOT. One has to wonder how on earth (no pun intended) they got ahold of him for this 'film', as well as Robert Englund.
It was quite awhile before I realized the same actor who played Major Mitchell in 'ID4' is the same actor who played Jayne in 'Serenity'. I was so intrigued by my inability to see that they were the same actor (I'm usually very good at recognizing people), that I figured this Adam Baldwin must be one fine actor. When I saw he was also in this even-bad-for-a-Roger-Corman flick , I just had to watch, no matter how bad it was. And, it was. Bad, really bad.
But, I endured, being the 'Firefly'/'Serenity' fan that I am. If I ever get to meet Adam Baldwin in-person, I will just have to ask him, "WHY?"
The Prestige (2006)
Dark, depressing, plodding, ponderous, and unbelievably dull
I much preferred 'The Illusionist', as that film at least had likable characters a viewer could hope would prevail, in the end. I've seen 'The Prestige' twice, now, and I think even less of it after the 2nd viewing than I did after the first. But, people seem to really identify more, these days, with characters that have no redeeming moral values, and are driven by their dark obsessions to the point of whatever-it-takes. A totally sad, sick, unsatisfying ending.
Others have said that one has to have intelligence, and a healthy attention span to enjoy this movie, and I would also add to that, a true interest in magic, and how it works. Though the real 'meat' of the film lay in the personalities, I felt they were suffocated by layers of intricate plot weavery of how the tricks were accomplished, and if you aren't interested in that? this can be a very long watch. I have endured, rather than enjoyed.