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sidneyhummel
Reviews
Cabin Fever: Patient Zero (2014)
Works as standalone, nonsensical "prequel"
This film works well as a standalone separate from the "Cabin Fever" series. It cannot be considered part of the CF canon because its rules vary so wildly from the story that supposedly follows from it. It's first problem perhaps is that it distinctly feels NON-2000s, while CF 1 & 2 were both clearly 2000s horror-comedies. This prequel also treats itself too seriously, in both mood and palette, feeling like a 2014 zombie film without cell phones. While the gore hounds will be pleased with the continued nastiness, the rules of the virus are different here, far more aggressive and yet these people have super strength until the last minute-Based on this and more, CF1 with its simple structure of sick guy slowly deteriorating in the woods doesn't follow. However, I enjoyed it by imagining it was not part of the series.
8 Found Dead (2022)
Nonsensical in the worst way
This film looks promising-it had a 9.0 on imdb at the time my friend and I decided to watch it- but quickly dissolves into unbelievable nonsense when characters, whose stories are told in a shuffled, nonlinear order, continue to stay in this rental with the old couple long after a person with any common sense would have left. Honestly, I don't think they would have even set foot in the rental, and there was nothing redeeming about the old couple that justifies both couples staying when something is obviously off. All this, especially the showing of all the characters dead not even halfway thru the film, made me lose interest. About 1/3 of the way in I was just watching because my friend picked it. The ending is also ridiculous, with the old couple conveniently surviving the same injuries that two younger characters died from. Then the cops, who were the most entertaining storyline, get killed too. No justice, and the surviving character is the murderous old man who was the stiffest and least engaging actor of the bunch. Then the film ends with a tease for a prequel... absolutely will not watch.
Run Rabbit Run (2023)
Unlikable characters; predictable yet confusing
The story felt like a creative writing project of a pretentious college sophomore who wants there to be important symbolism and thinks they've written an original, cerebral film, when it is in fact both predictable and confusing- not in a fun way.
I almost didn't write a review because so many of the reviews here are what I want to say anyhow. Firstly, both Sarah and Mia/Alice are completely annoying. I don't feel bad for the little girl even though I probably should, and I don't feel bad for Sarah- in fact I kept wishing that her ex husband would swoop in and get full custody of Mia.
Second, there's the question of whether or not Mia was possessed by Alice, or Sarah was just hallucinating the entire experience out of grief, triggered by Mia turning 7 (the age Alice was when Sarah killed her) is unclear and not in a fun "left for us to decide" way. It's just frustrating, among many other things, such as Mia/Alice flopping back and forth- why isn't Mia asking questions about Alice? Why is Alice seemingly asking questions about herself? Does she just want Sarah to talk? Why does no one notice that Sarah is tormenting and hurting her child? Why does Sarah keep leaving her child alone even though she might be possessed or self harming? So many questions unanswered in a way that was completely unsatisfying.
Third, I suppose Mia, being called "bunny" by Sarah, is the rabbit who should run in the title, because her mother and apparently Alice's ghost (?) is out to get her, but the imagery of the rabbit seems to serve no purpose, or at least none that I've figured out.
Lastly, WHY does it take Sarah SO LONG to tell us, or anyone, what happened? The audience had the whole traumatic sister murder figured out way before she even said it. Not suspenseful. Just annoying.
The Other Lamb (2019)
Pretty, boring, not horror
Don't waste your time on this one. I've been watching a lot of cult related and satanism related films lately in efforts to parse out the good from bad. I really wanted to like this film. The color palette is beautiful, set and costume are beautiful, the sheep are beautiful... the premise- all female cult removed from modern living led my a man who is the dad/husband- had me intrigued, like what's he hiding, how did this form, what are they going to do to him? For 1.5 hours nothing happens. Sad women go along with this guy and finally at the end retaliate and kill him. There's nothing horrific about it (or maybe I've watched too many horrors at this point?). Anyway, to my first point about watching cult and satanism films... this is another one where I feel like the writer read 1-2 Wikipedia pages on Christian cults and just let it rip. Compare this to something as well-researched as, say, A24's 'The Witch'... the difference in quality is night and day. Again, don't bother with this.
Martyrs (2008)
Annoying martyr; NOT a cult film
(Not about a cult even though I found it on a list of cult films... unless you call a small but twisted group of scientists a cult.) Anyway, the story itself compelled me in the first half. Plus all these reviews about how depraved and violent this movie is. I don't watch ultra violent horrors often because they're usually disappointing or ridiculous, and this one was sadly no different. I agree with most of the reviews saying the first half was best; I found the second half boring, just beatings and feedings again and again until it got to the main ~torture~ where Anna is skinned alive and transcends to martyrdom. For a movie touting its violence, we didn't even get to see the skinning. Most of the hitting, even, happened off screen. I also agree with reviews saying the premise, once it unfolds at the end, is ridiculous. The idea that this group is torturing women to see who can transcend pain and survive a shock state lucid enough to describe the ~afterlife~ so that they may get inside trading tips on death, is so annoying. And of course we never hear what Anna tells Mademoiselle and then Mademoiselle offs herself (almost felt like the end of "Would You Rather" where she did allllll this just for her bro who killed himself by the end). Like, it kept me entertained but was far from moving. And the absolute worst part of this whole premise, which made it boring and annoying and unmoving, was that Anna was asking for it. She was WAY out of her jurisdiction trying to clean up Lucile's mess, and trying to save the woman she found in the basement!!!! How many times was I thinking "you gotta just call the cops at this point", and she didn't. Well... look what happened.
The Void (2016)
Fun suspense & practical FX
Found this on a list of black mass "like Baskin" films. I loved Baskin for its descent into gore, and this film embraced gore from the start with detailed practical FX- each creature throughout the film was different and I wanted a closer look at them all! (None overstayed their welcome.) This film also had far more substance than reviews led me to believe. Each of the protagonist group stood out on their own, with their histories revealed throughout. Not the strongest script or acting, but you know you're going in for a fun time, not a life-changing experience. Satisfying ending, in my option, cherry on the cake. Overall the practical FX made it well worth the watch for me!!
Sharper (2023)
Never felt sexier
Than after watching this film. I don't often watch mysteries because they bore me- this had me gripped from start to finish. Flawlessly cast, unconventionally formatted, tightly written. Performances by powerhouses Sebby and Moore always engrossing. Everyone is a liar, sure, but knowing that didn't spoil anything for me; I was so into the reveal of connections between characters and how the story unfolded... This was one of those films I wanted to watch again immediately after it ended. My only complaint is its very limited theatrical release- I hope to see it on the big screen! Would be even sexier.
The Whale (2022)
Weakend the source material; solid and over-hyped
As an avid A24 fan I knew I would see this film, yet I hesitated, turned-off by a film about a fat person played by an actor in a fat suit. Ultimately the acting is what carries this film- Brendan has incredible access to his emotions and portrays Charlie beautifully. Sadie and Hong are also wonderful. If you are a Brendan fanatic excited for his return to film, you won't be disappointed, although I caution that a lot of the hype around this film stems from that excitement and overlooks the slow pace, distractingly blunt cuts, and stilted delivery of supporting actors toward the end of the film.
I read the play first out of curiosity and was pleasantly surprised to find it isn't a mockery of fat folk; all the characters are complex and interesting, and there are many full circle things that come around satisfyingly in the end. I was interested to see the adaptation, and was disappointed to sit through a slow-moving film that changed and added things to a less satisfying, at times detrimental effect. Less satisfying was the altering of Alan's story, removing some emotional beats in the play that I was looking forward to seeing on screen. In the play, Alan, Charlie's deceased boyfriend, is raised religious, and goes on a mission abroad to avoid going home and getting married. When he does go home he ends up falling in love with Charlie and completely abandoning the church. There is a point about the last day Alan goes to church, he hears his father give a sermon that breaks him. After this he becomes so depressed he starves himself to death. Then, after his death, Charlie eats himself to death. We finally find out what Alan's father said in the sermon: the story of Jonah and the Whale. In the film this is altered: no Jonah sermon, but Alan's Bible has a verse about living in the flesh marked off; I supposed it was altered so as not to be so "on the nose", given the 'Moby Dick' essay which Charlie reads again and again throughout the play/film, which we ultimately find out his daughter wrote, but in a story laden with metaphor, I didn't think this second allusion was too much. To the film's detriment: the small age difference between Charlie and Alan in the play wasn't specified, making Charlie look like a groomer who seduced a student (a damaging trope in stories with queer characters), and, more egregiously, an added scene that was not in the play featuring Charlie being seen by the pizza delivery guy, which triggers shame and then a massive binge the night before his death. There is no reason to include this in the film. At this point we have already seen Charlie vulnerable and hurting, we've seen his shame, we as an audience already feel compassion for him- this added scene felt intended to disturb the audience and remind them of those stereotypes- "if you're that size you must be doing something wrong, you are out of control, and you should be ashamed". The play did not have this scene, and the film didn't need it.
Bones and All (2022)
Intimate indie drama
I wouldn't categorize this as a horror in the traditional sense- if you're looking for thrills and chills this isn't it. This movie is a slow burn romance that happens to be about two doomed cannibals. The costume and character design are impeccable, the score is sweet. Although a slow burn, the film is well paced, hitting the marks as it leads up to an intense ending that I can't stop thinking about. Taylor and Timothee are magnetic in each scene, and as in Luca's HBO show there's a raw authenticity to their youth- no makeup, repeated outfits, washed out dyed hair, unremarkable dialogue. Yet the scenes between them carry weight. Could say more but I don't want to spoil. Support this film!
Call Me by Your Name (2017)
Beautiful snoozer
Were I not a Timmy fan who read the book, I would have turned this off. Or maybe because I read the book, I found the movie unbearably slow? Things about each character I felt were important in the book didn't make it to screen, unnecessary things were added, the dialogue between Elio and Oliver was stilted, Elio's family's American accents felt incongruous... That being said, the set is gorgeous, the color palette is gorgeous and it's wonderfully shot in 35mm. I also did appreciate that Elio's bisexuality was kept a key focus, as many films erase bisexuality especially with male characters. I'm glad the film didn't use the dragged out ungodly ending from the book, though it seems Luca planned or is planning to do that as a sequel... I hope not.
The Accompanist (2019)
Underdeveloped, but has potential
Honestly, if we supported more indie queer films, stories like this one would have the budget and attention they need in order to be developed and rich in quality. The storyline itself is simple, and carried my interest despite both the acting and camerawork feeling amateurish. The supernatural powers for the pianist did not mesh with the rest of the story, which was a bummer because near death experience becoming raw talent is a concept I find fascinating. That could have been weaved in way better from the start of the film, or maybe the whole film could have been structured differently, and personally I would enjoy seeing this film set somewhere colder like NYC. The parallels of both men having partners who don't trust them interested me.
He's Watching (2022)
Clever low budget horror
I really enjoyed this and it was thoroughly unnerving at parts. The kids were great and the reveal at the end ... Overall got me thinking about art made during/after the pandemic.
Exploited (2022)
Fun queer horror
Support more indie films like this! It's an honest film with a satisfying ending and I loved the twists. The movie is paced well, a good mix of taking itself seriously and playing around. Sort of like a fanfic but on screen. Definitely would watch others from this film maker!