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fogel
Reviews
Pigs (2007)
What fun!
Oh, I expected this to be complete rubbish but I was totally disappointed, in a good way! Totally had all that you want from a comedy. It made you laugh in almost every scene. The fact that it had sex in most of those scenes only made the experience that much more enjoyable. And for me, a guy, this was a BIG plus. Unfortunately, my girlfriend disagrees. She thinks that making women merely a sexual object is something that we as a society have spent generations trying to make unacceptable. But, what the hey, you get to laugh for 85 minutes and isn't that what life is all about in the end? So, you have two choices, you can go see Pigs or you won't. I guess most of you won't see it, which, ironically, makes you all pigs...
Fantastic Four (2005)
A waste of time & money
This was an extraordinarily bad movie. The story seemed to revolve around the big ugly character struggling to come to terms with his new identity. Unfortunately for the audience, he was the worst of all the actors on show so if you don't enjoy watching terrible acting then you're not going to enjoy this movie.
I can't believe it took in over 50 million dollars in the first weekend. The longer you watch the movie the more you feel like you've just wasted your money to come and see it. It makes me painfully aware how that money could have been used to do something for the benefit of society.
Jessica Alba was quoted as saying "All I can really do in being invisible is eavesdrop, you know what I mean, like, what else could you use it for? Not having to pay for a plane ticket or something?" I think anyone who goes to see this movie will wish they didn't have to pay to see it.
It just goes to show what people are willing to pay good money to see. The next time you hear the amount "fifty million dollars" you know just how worthless that amount truly is...
The Incredibles (2004)
funny, intelligent movie
Watching this movie with a packed house of laughing kids, adults (and the odd screaming baby) was a very pleasant and entertaining experience. Whenever that animated lampshade precedes a movie i always expect to be entertained at every level, and i wasn't disappointed.
Again Pixar have put together a truly original movie that can be appreciated by people young and old. The expressions on the faces of each character make kids laugh and can't help adults from breaking at least a smirk.
The quick and funny lines come thick and fast. This was an achievement that surpasses all that i've seen before and next time i expect to see something that tops it (a trailer for a future Pixar project that accompanies this movie is enough to whet anyone's appetite...)
The Gift (2000)
White Trash
The Gift. Well, just like those sweaters your Aunty used to give you for Christmas or the toys you got for your birthday, this movie is a gift that you would rather forget about as quickly as you decided to go and see it.
For those of you out there with a sense of respect or feeling that some talent lies within Mr. Keanu Reeves, then you would be well advised to give this movie a very wide berth. Hollywood producers do not usually mis-cast actors, but when they do they do it big-time. The result is an almost laughable representation of Reeves as the skinny wimp who, once given a full, healthy beard (which could have been stuck on for that matter) is expected to be transformed into a figure that all fear and none dare challenge. Hooey!
However, the said actor is not alone in the ridiculous nature of the plot and talent made (mis-) use of in this movie. The protagonist, Ms. Blanchett is a widow, left to raise 3 "small" children after her husband is sent to his untimely death by an explosion at his place of work (an incident the fortune-teller 'quite-but-not-completely-anticiapted-yet-not-in-a-very-convincing-enough-ki nd-of-way'). This sets the scene for a family comprised of four people who, if able to break a smile is soon reminded that tragedy is everywhere and sadness is a fact of life, so get used to it. Cue Reeves, a man who is about to make this quasi-tragic setting seem like a walk in the park. If ever you wanted a reason for why Reeves was not the murderer in Scream, calling up his victims prior to making his attack then here it is. Listen to him on the phone and see if you are even vaguely interested in what he has to say...
However, the movie is not without it's attractions. Like Giovanni Ribisi, who, if ever there was a man worthy of the award for "Best Schizo in a Supporting Role" never fails to entertain with his outstandingly outrageous outbursts: the two that immediately spring to mind are firstly, an emergency stop worthy of a manual on "how to get your driving license... with style!" and secondly an attack on a vehicle with a crow-bar worthy of "how to lose your....". All good stuff.
And finally there is the ending. Though I am not one to spoil endings (I will leave it up to the movie to do that) I would appreciate somebody giving me their 'take' on what it was intended to achieve. Answers on a postcard.
Basically, 5/10; which for me means that you gain nothing by seeing it and lose nothing by missing it. The choice, as they say, is Hobson's.
WF.